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OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL (2013)

Posted in 2013, 3-D, Adult Fairy Tales, Based on Classic Films, CGI, Cinema Knife Fights, Exotic Locales, Fantasy Films, Highly Stylized Films, Prequels, Sam Raimi, Witchcraft, Witches with tags Flying Monkeys, James Franco, michelle williams, mila kunis, Oz, Rachel Weisz, sam raimi, Witches, Zach Braff on March 11, 2013 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL (2013)
By Michael Arruda & L.L. Soares

(THE SCENE: A circus, filmed in black and white. L.L. SOARES, dressed in a magician’s costume, stands on a stage in front of a sparse crowd.)

L.L. SOARES: For my next astonishing trick, I’ll need a volunteer from the audience. You, there! The silly-looking gentleman standing in the back.

(Spotlight lands on MICHAEL ARRUDA, standing in back of audience.)

MICHAEL ARRUDA: Are you talking to me? (points to his chest.)

LS (under his breath): Yeah, you, you Travis Bickle wannabe. (louder to audience) Yes, young man. Come up here. Don’t be afraid.

(MA approaches stage to mild applause.)

LS: For this amazing feat of magic, I shall require the services of my magic wand. (Lifts magic wand, dripping with blood.)

MA (now standing next to LS): Are you sure that’s not your magic knife? You haven’t been drinking and mixed them up again, have you?

LS: Silence! For this trick, I shall make him disappear. Hocus frigging Pocus! (taps MA on the shoulder with bloody wand. There is a great puff of white smoke, and when it clears, MA has disappeared.)

I like this gig!

(MA finds himself back in the audience)

MA: Not so fast! (Rushes back on stage). We have a movie to review, and you’re not getting rid of me so easily!

(MA leaps at LS, the two wrestle, and fall out a back door onto an incredibly colorful path, as the scene is now in bright Technicolor. They are on a hill, standing on a yellow brick road, looking down at the glittering Emerald City of Oz.)

MA: We’re not in Kansas anymore.

LS: When the hell were we ever in Kansas?

MA: It’s a figure of speech.

Well, now that we’re here in Oz, let’s review today’s movie, OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL (2013) Disney’s prequel to the classic THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939).

The story opens in a scene similar to the one we just left. Young magician and con-man Oscar Diggs (James Franco), who goes by “Oz” for short, is struggling to make ends meet with his sideshow magic act.

LS: I have no idea if the Wizard has a regular name in L. Frank Baum’s OZ books, but do you think the fact that Franco’s character’s name is Oscar is a joke because he hosted the Oscars one year with Anne Hathaway? I remember they were pretty much pilloried for that gig.

MA: Who cares?

He’s helped by his assistant Frank (Zach Braff) and by clueless women who he charms and lies his way into getting them to be part of the act on stage. When one such woman, Annie (Michelle Williams), tells him that someone has asked her to marry him, she professes her love for Oscar, but he tells her to go ahead and get married because he’s not a good man. Their conversation is interrupted by the circus strong man, who is angry at Oscar for giving a gift to his woman—a music box, to be precise, which we learn Oscar gives to every woman he is romantically interested in— and so Oscar leaps into a hot air balloon and flees his former life, only to be caught up in a massive tornado which propels him of course to the Land of Oz.

LS: That’s the same way Dorothy got to Oz in the original movie! Hey, it was funny how there’s a scene with Franco, Williams and Braff, and I realized, there’s a whole new generation of actors whose careers started in television. Franco was on the short-lived, but revered cult TV show FREAKS AND GEEKS (which only lasted one season, from 1999 to 2000, yet almost everyone from that show has gone on to a bigger career, including Seth Rogan and Jason Segel); Williams, of course, became famous on DAWSON’S CREEK (1998 – 2003); and Braff first became a familiar face on SCRUBS (2001 – 2010). It was like a TV reunion! And yet, all three are really good here in a theatrical movie!

MA: I agree. And I remember liking Braff a lot on SCRUBS.

In Oz, Oscar meets Theodora the Good Witch (Mila Kunis), who tells him of the prophecy that a wizard named Oz would arrive from the sky to free their people from the wicked witch of the land.

LS: And Kunis’s big break was also on television, on THAT ‘70S SHOW (1998 – 2006). Hey, don’t forget the part of the prophecy that says the wizard will have the same name as the land of Oz. I thought that was kind of goofy, but funny, too.

MA: Not to mention unbelievable, but since this is a fantasy, I let it slide.

Theodora falls for Oscar immediately and is convinced that he is the wizard from the prophecy, and that he will become king and she’ll be his queen. She brings him to the Emerald City where she introduces him to her sister, another witch, Evanora (Rachel Weisz).

LS: Finally, someone who didn’t start their career on television! Well, American television. Weisz began her career in television in England, but became familiar to American audiences in movies like THE MUMMY (1999). I also thought she was kind of amazing in Neil LeBute’s 2003 film, THE SHAPE OF THINGS.

MA: On their way to the city, they meet up with and befriend a talking flying monkey, Finley (voiced by Zach Braff). Oscar saves Finley from the clutches of a lion, and as result, Finley promises to be his faithful servant for life.

LS: Was it just me, or was Finley one of the best-looking CGI creations we have seen in a long time? The level of detail, and his facial expressions, were just terrific.

MA: No, it’s not just you. I thought the same the thing, and I also thought the little China Doll was just as good. Excellent special effects here!

The witch sisters show Oscar an enormous “treasure room” full of gold which will all be his once he has defeated the wicked witch, and all he needs do to accomplish this task is to destroy her magic wand. Unable to resist the temptation of all that wealth, Oscar agrees to the task and sets out along with Finley to destroy the wicked witch. Along the way, they rescue and repair a broken talking China doll (voiced by Joey King) who cries her way into becoming part of their team.

LS: Yeah, China is another amazing CGI creation. At least the effects in this movie are incredibly well done.

MA: Once in the dark forest, they attempt to destroy the wicked witch, but it turns out that this witch, Glinda (Michelle Williams), isn’t wicked at all, but a good witch. The true wicked witch, according to Glinda, is really Evanora.

LS: Hey, wait a minute. We’ve been walking along as we talked, and we’re in a dark forest now as well.

MA: Funny how that happened.

LS: Hmmm, we’re surrounded by apple trees. I could go for an apple right about now.

(LS picks an apple off a tree, and the tree turns around and slaps him with one of its branches)

TREE: Do I go around picking things off you?

LS: One of those cool talking trees from THE WIZARD OF OZ!

TREE: I asked you a question.

MA: Sorry. We don’t usually talk to trees. And where we come from, apples are food.

TREE: Food! How barbaric! I oughta knock your block off.

LS: Hey, how come you trees weren’t in OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL. I missed you guys when Oscar goes into the dark forest this time.

MA: I never liked those trees, and so I’m glad they weren’t in this movie. (An apple plunks him on the head.)

TREE: Maybe we were saplings back then and weren’t big enough to talk. How the hell do I know? Now give that apple back.

(LS hands over the apple he picked, and the TREE takes it)

TREE: Now hurry on off if you know what’s good for you!

LS: Okay, okay.

(LS and MA continue walking along the road)

MA: Anyway, Glinda introduces Oscar to the oppressed people of Oz and tells him that it’s up to him to free her people from the clutches of Evanora, and her unsuspecting sister Theodora, who it turns out, is about to undergo a dramatic personality shift, to say the least.

LS: Yeah, I have to admit, I didn’t see that coming. So let’s not spoil it further.

MA: OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL gets off to a slow and rather clunky start but ultimately improves to the point where it becomes a movie that I —surprisingly—- really liked a lot.

LS: I didn’t think the beginning was clunky at all.

MA: Well, not the very beginning, the black and white sequence where we see Oscar working as a sideshow magician with his assistant Frank, which I liked. These scenes were humorous and shot in the tradition of the original movie, THE WIZARD OF OZ. They also set the stage for the transformation to the colorful 3D extravaganza known as Oz.

LS: I also noticed that, during the black and white scenes, the screen we see is smaller. But when gets to Oz, it is not only more colorful, but the screen expands to widescreen perspective. A clever trick!

MA: But it’s in the early moments in Oz that I thought the film faltered. I did not enjoy the early scenes between Oscar and Theodora. I found Theodora to be incredibly naïve and as a result not very believable.

LS: There aren’t naïve people in real life? And wouldn’t it make sense if she never before saw a man fall out of the sky? It’s not something we see every day. And there is the prophecy!

MA: She falls in love with him in less than a minute. Naïve.

I also thought the dialogue here, especially Theodora’s, was particularly bad, and the scenes inside the castle where Oscar meets Theodora’s sister Evanora aren’t much better.

Things pick up once Oscar sets out to destroy the wicked witch, along with his faithful monkey Finley and the little China Girl, two CGI creations who not only look terrific, but who are also two of the better characters in the movie. They’re better than most of the “real” people here.

LS: I’ll agree with you on that point.

MA: And then things really get moving once they confront Glinda and we learn that she’s not really a wicked witch. When she explains to Oscar what his true mission must be, and he accepts, the movie takes on an entirely different and more rewarding emotional feel. The scenes where Oscar must lead the various groups of Oz inhabitants, farmers, tinkers, and of course Munchkins, are light, funny, and ultimately gratifying.

LS: I actually had a mixed reaction to the scene where we first meet the Munchkins. They begin to sing, and Oscar discourages them. In a way it’s funny, and I’m not normally a fan of musicals, but at the same time, the music was one of the indelible stamps that made THE WIZARD OF OZ so unique. How there was music and singing, but it wasn’t really a musical per se. I think this new OZ could have let its hair down a little more.

MA: I’m glad Oscar told them to shut up.

Of course, these scenes also coincide with Theodora’s transformation into the true threat of the movie, a transformation that I both bought and enjoyed.

LS: Enough of that!

(A MUNCHKIN suddenly walks by. He’s holding a stick over his shoulder with a knapsack on the end, like a hobo)

MA: Hey little guy, where are you headed?

MUNCHKIN: Far away from here. They won’t let us sing in this movie.

LS: Is that so bad?

MUNCHKIN: Don’t know a lot about Munchkins, do you? We were born to sing. It’s in our hearts, it’s in our souls. We live to sing! And this Oz character shows up and tells us to “Take 5.” The nerve of that guy!

MA: So where are you headed? Going to go to Middle Earth and hang out with the Hobbits?

MUNCHKIN: Of course not, they don’t sing either!

LS: Going to go sit in a display case at Dunkin’ Donuts?

MUNCHKIN (sticks out his tongue): Very funny. That would be a big No.

MA: So where does a Munchkin go if he’s not allowed to sing?

MUNCHKIN: Why the show GLEE of course. I’m sure they’d invite me to join the cast.

LS: Good luck with that.

(MUNCHKIN walks away)

LS: Back to our regularly scheduled program.

MA: In spite of its slow start, I liked OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL a lot. Sam Raimi has hit yet another home run with this colorful, agreeable, and highly entertaining fantasy tale that has a lot of things going for it.

LS: I agree with you. I liked it a lot, too. And I think a lot of the credit goes to director Raimi. This sure makes up for the awful SPIDER-MAN 3 (2007)! Nice to see him back to full power again.

I went in wondering how it would compare to THE WIZARD OF OZ, because comparisons are inevitable. And it compares quiet well. The level of acting and the script are good, but do not seem to be as solid as the original film. And strangely, though technology is so advanced now, I think the original 1939 film still looks more amazing and the land of Oz looked more “real” back then.

MA: James Franco is excellent as Oscar, “Oz,” and in a movie driven by special effects, he still manages to carry this movie and drive it along. I bought into his character and accepted his flaws as genuine. He basically plays Oscar as a guy who succeeds in spite of himself, and I liked this.

LS: Oscar isn’t the most likable character in the world, but that’s okay. He’s not supposed to be. He’s actually kind of a fool. But this is a tale of redemption, and Franco shines in the lead role here. I love that goofy grin of his. He’s making it up as he goes along, but he has no idea what the rules are in this new world, and so he’s going to get duped sometimes, as a lot of us would be.

MA: Michelle Williams makes a sincere and touching Glinda, and I’d have to say I thought she delivered the best performance in the movie, which is saying a lot because I didn’t expect much from this character, and yet she makes for such a strong and attractive presence, I found myself that much more interested in the story whenever she was on screen.

LS: You know, in our COMING ATTRACTIONS column earlier this month, we made a big deal of Mila Kunis being so beautiful in the trailer for this movie. But the truth is, Williams is just as beautiful (and Weisz is certainly no slouch, either) here. The thing is, you’re right—she does deliver the best performance in the movie. I thought she was perfectly cast here. It’s so easy for such a completely “good” character to be just plain boring. Usually the bad guys are the most exciting ones. But Williams makes Glinda believable. And I liked her character a lot—which amazed me, because I always root for the bad guys! She really has become an amazing actress over the years. I thought she was great as Lily in BLACK SWAN (2010).

MA: I have to agree with everything you just said, and I think that’s why I liked her so much. For once, the “good” character was just as interesting as the bad!

I did not enjoy Mila Kunis early on as Theodora, to the point where I was hoping she wasn’t going to be in the movie much. But I really liked her dark side, so much so that it made me forget completely her lame interpretation of Theodora at the beginning of the movie.

LS: Oh give Mila a break! The way she plays Theodora early on is crucial to what happens later, and I think she does a good job.

MA: Gag!

LS: She is beautiful, and her character is supposed to be clueless and easily manipulated. That is vital to how she ultimately reacts to both her sister Evanor and Oscar. I will admit, there are some scenes where Kunis did seem a little stilted, and her performance isn’t the best one here, but she’s coming along nicely as an actress. Who knew, when she played a supporting character on THAT ‘70S SHOW, that her career would be so huge. I don’t think she’s an amazing actress, yet, but I think she’s getting better and better.

MA: Like we both said earlier, the two CGI creations, Finley the monkey and China Girl, voiced by Zach Braff and young Joey King, were two of the most captivating and enjoyable characters in the movie. They’re on par with Yoda in the STAR WARS films and Gollum from the LORD OF THE RINGS movies.

And the 3D effects here are excellent, too. I’d have to say that this is the most visually satisfying movie I’ve seen since HUGO (2011).

LS: Yeah, I saw the 2D version. Maybe I should have seen it in 3D instead. But I will say that seeing the 2D version didn’t hurt my enjoyment of the film at all.

As for the special effects, everyone who worked on them for this movie deserves heaps of praise. OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL is way above average, which made it stand up much better in comparison to the 1939 movie, which set a high bar.

(A FLYING MONKEY from the original WIZARD OF OZ walks by, carrying a knapsack over his shoulder)

MA: Hey little guy, where are you headed?

LS: Is there an echo in here?

FLYING MONKEY: I thought the wicked witch’s flying monkeys were one of the coolest things about THE WIZARD OF OZ, and now I find I’m out of a job.

MA: There are flying monkeys in OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL.

FLYING MONKEY: Let’s be specific here, shall we? The flying monkeys in this movie are flying BABOONS. There’s no sign of the monkeys from THE WIZARD OF OZ this time around. We’ve been replaced.

LS: You mean you don’t want to put on a little bellhop’s outfit and pretend to be Finley?

FLYING MONKEY: That wimp? No way! If the only choices I have are dressing like a bellboy and being all cute, or being out of a job, then I’ll be on my way.

LS: I do agree this was a little annoying. As a kid, I always thought the flying monkeys were the best part of THE WIZARD OF OZ. They didn’t need to be improved, and they didn’t need to be changed into baboons. Hell, if you want scarier monkeys, why not go all out and hire some mandrills?

MA: I didn’t mind the baboons here, although I’ve always liked the flying monkeys from the original, so admittedly I did miss them a little bit.

LS: The CGI flying baboons were okay, but they were one of the things I liked least about OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL.

FLYING MONKEY: Well, unless you can hire me on as an evil henchman, I’ll be going.

LS: I’m tempted. Honest I am.

MA: It’s not in the budget!

LS: I know. Farewell, scary monkey.

(FLYING MONKEY continues walking down the yellow brick road)

MA: The screenplay by Mitchell Kapner and David Lindsay-Abaire manages to tell a compelling story with lots of references to the original movie, from a lion in the woods, to scarecrows, to the poppy fields. There are many moments that will indeed bring back memories from the 1939 classic.

LS: A movie you admit you don’t like.

MA: Guilty as charged.

LS: As a fan of the 1939 film, I was surprised how good OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL was. I really thought it would look shallow in comparison, and it stands up quite nicely. The script is clever, and sticks to the story of THE WIZARD OF OZ pretty closely. It explains a lot of things in a smart way.

MA: One thing I didn’t like, or at least didn’t understand, was that in the 1939 film, the characters that Dorothy meets, the Scarecrow, Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, Wicked Witch, and even the Wizard himself, all resemble people she knew in Kansas, which makes sense because at the end of the movie it’s revealed she was dreaming. Here, characters Oscar meets also resemble people he knew back home, yet here it’s not inferred that he’s dreaming.

LS: Maybe he is. Then again, maybe he died in that tornado and Oz is the afterlife! The way I saw it, maybe it’s not inferred because maybe he wasn’t dreaming, and maybe Dorothy wasn’t either. Maybe she really visited this other dimension (or perhaps she had a near death experience and got a glimpse of the afterlife as well), too. You can debate it all you want, because it’s open to interpretation.

MA: But if we are to infer that it’s all a dream, then how does this tie in with Dorothy’s dream later? Can they both have the same dream? Or is Oz real? No doubt, I’m overthinking this, but it was something that was definitely on my mind as I walked out of the theater.

LS: That’s a first. You can barely think and now you claim to be overthinking. I think poor Finley has more brains than you.

MA: Which goes to show just how clueless you can be sometimes!

LS: You know, one thing I was worried about was that Disney would make this story extra bland to appeal to the widest audience. They have a way of doing that sometimes, although I must admit, it wasn’t a problem with Andrew Stanton’s underrated JOHN CARTER (2012). Just last week you were complaining that JACK THE GIANT SLAYER was super homogenized and didn’t have any kind of edge to it. I was surprised that OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL has any kind of edge at all. But Franco’s Oscar is certainly a flawed character, the witches here can be kind of scary, and while it’s a great movie for the whole family, I didn’t think it was reduced to Disney-flavored pablum. What did you think about that, Michael?

MA: I agree.

It’s funny because JACK THE GIANT SLAYER was rated PG-13, and OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL was rated PG, yet OZ has more of an edge than JACK! Now, there are more battle scenes in JACK than there are in OZ, but Oscar has more flaws than anyone in JACK, and the witches and even the baboons are scarier than the giants in JACK.

Nonetheless, to my surprise, since I hadn’t been looking forward to this one, I really enjoyed OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL. Sam Raimi can add another notch to his belt because he’s made yet another classic movie.

I give it three and a half knives.

LS: Well, I have to admit, I’m amazed by your reaction, because you have gone on record as saying you don’t like THE WIZARD OF OZ.

MA: I’m just as amazed.

LS: And yet the reason why this new OZ is so good, is because it sticks to the original story so well. It makes a good companion piece to the 1939 film, and I wouldn’t be surprised if kids of the future get exposed to both films together, the way we got exposed to THE WIZARD OF OZ as children. Despite your dislike of the original, I remember it being a big deal as a kid. It was shown on television just once a year, and EVERYONE seemed to watch it, and make it a special occasion. Videotape wasn’t around yet, so you couldn’t watch the movie whenever you wanted. You had to wait. And that created an anticipation around it that made it seem very special.

With a movie that is such an important part of a lot of people’s childhoods, it’s going to be very tough to make something new that can stand alongside it. And yet, I think Sam Raimi has done a terrific job here.

I don’t think OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL is a perfect film. I don’t think everything works, and there are moments when it seems stilted or that it’s trying too hard to be clever. And not all of the characters are equally interesting. While I like Rachel Weisz a lot, I didn’t find her Evanora all that interesting, even though she was crucial to the storyline (and Weisz seems to do what she can with the role). I don’t think all of the special effects are equally good – but that only makes sense, because they’re so expensive to do. I think Finley the monkey is amazing, for example, but I was less impressed with the flying baboons that Evanor commands. And I still think that THE WIZARD OF OZ packs more of an emotional wallop. In comparison, the new OZ is a love tap, but a very good one.

I also give it three and a half out of five knives (and,just to put things in perspective, if I had to rate the original WIZARD OF OZ, it would get four and a half or maybe even five knives).

By the way, this isn’t Disney’s first trip to Oz since the 1939 original. In 1985, there was a sequel called RETURN TO OZ, with Fairuza Balk as Dorothy, It was rather dark and I liked it a lot. But it wasn’t an all-star blockbuster like this one. I think the world of Oz still has a lot of potential – there are so many stories and characters created by L. Frank Baun that haven’t been tapped into yet.

(They reach the gates of the Emerald City. A GUARD waits outside)

GUARD: Halt! Who goes there.

LS: Hey, wait a minute, you’re Bruce Campbell, right?

GUARD: Of course not, I’m Winkie the Gatekeeper!

LS: I saw Bruce Campbell’s name in the credits, but I didn’t see him anywhere. I was sure he was Winkie.

GUARD: You are sorely mistaken.

LS: Rats! I always wanted to meet Bruce Campbell. Speaking of Bruce and director Sam Raimi, I wonder if the remake of their classic EVIL DEAD (1981) will be any good.

MA: That doesn’t come out til next month! (to GUARD) Hey, will you mind letting us in? We’ve come a long way.

GUARD: Well, boo hoo for you. No one goes inside today! The Emerald City is under renovation.

LS: Double Rats!

MA: Oh well, I guess we’re headed back home.

LS: Can we at least take a hot-air balloon this time?

-END-

Michael Arruda gives OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL ~ three and a half knives!

LL Soares gives OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL ~three and a half knives, as well.

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Suburban Grindhouse Memories # 60 – SEASON OF THE WITCH (1972)

Posted in 1970s Movies, 1980s Horror, 2013, Classic Films, George Romero, Indie Horror, Nick Cato Reviews, Suburban Grindhouse Memories, Witches with tags George A. Romero, Grindhouse, Hungry Wives, Jack's Wife, Jan White, Season of the Witch, Witches on January 31, 2013 by knifefighter

Suburban Grindhouse Memories No. 60:
Season of the Zzzzzzzzzzz…
By Nick Cato

In October of 1982, fans of the HALLOWEEN series were confused about the third film, which was titled HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH. While technically it had more to do with the actual holiday than the others in the series, the film didn’t feature infamous slasher Michael Myers or star Jamie Lee Curtis. In time, the film gained a cult following and a slick blu ray edition has recently been released. But when the film was originally released theatrically, someone thought it would be slick to simultaneously repackage a 1972 film titled HUNGRY WIVES under the title SEASON OF THE WITCH and put it out the same weekend as the third HALLOWEEN film to swipe some of the successful series’ revenue (got all that?). And while I couldn’t find any proof they were successful, I can testify that the theatre I saw George A. Romero’s SEASON OF THE WITCH in (the now defunct Amboy Twin) was packed to the rafters…and the second showing sold out as well.

Despite being a huge Romero fan, I had never heard of SEASON OF THE WITCH (or HUNGRY WIVES) until I opened my local paper that Friday afternoon and saw an ad for HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH and, right across from it, and ad for another film simply called SEASON OF THE WITCH with the tagline, “An early work from the master of horror, George A. Romero!” And seeing this, I knew where I’d be that night; HALLOWEEN III was going to have to wait a day or two. I also convinced two of my buddies to put off their HALLOWEEN III screening and, knowing we were doing it for a Romero film, they joined me. In the pre-Internet days, there was no Googling to see if something was worth it or not.

I still have the black and blue-marks on my upper arms from being punched for a few hours after SEASON OF THE WITCH ended. And I couldn’t blame my friends for their anger.

The film takes forever to get moving. And, even then, it moves like a horse being dragged to the glue mill at high noon. We meet a bored housewife named Joan (Jan White) who has a husband who’s always away on business and a college-aged daughter who has the personality of a handball. Joan spends her days as a bored housewife and her nights at her neighbor’s boring parties, as well as a ridiculous amount of time walking through the woods in artistically-shot, trippy sequences. I think this was the first time I heard an audience start yelling for the film to get going so early on…maybe after fifteen minutes? As a Romero fan, I was getting annoyed at all the noise, but by the middle of the movie I had joined them.

The boredom is broken up with dream sequences of Joan being attacked in her home by a masked assailant. She seeks therapy for her nightmares but it doesn’t help and the dreams continue…as did the audience’s cheers for the masked assailant to kill her. Joan eventually visits a woman who gives her a tarot reading, and she develops an interest in witchcraft after finding out the tarot woman is part of a coven.

In the only sequence I enjoyed, Joan goes to some kind of underground hippie-owned store to purchase witchcraft supplies. I couldn’t stop laughing over a sign on the wall that said “Take Some Trash” posted over several garbage cans right inside the store! Over the years I’ve wondered if this was some kind of comment on the end of the hippie era, but now think it was just Romero tossing some goofy fun into this dreadful mess that I recently read is the only film of his even he wishes he could remake.

One amazing thing here: I don’t recall a single person leaving the theater. The film, while slow and painfully boring, does tend to keep your interest in the wake of the nightmare scenes. I think most audiences had a crazed bloodlust by the final minutes, hoping this masked intruder would finally decapitate Joan and end this celluloid torture session.

But in the “shock” ending, Joan is having another nightmare when she wakes; someone is pulling on the front door handle, trying to break in the house. She grabs a shotgun. The crowd I was part of went nuts…and I’m talking scream-out loud nuts! Most cheered for the guy breaking in to kill Joan…a few even begged her to blow her own head off! (Yeah, we New Yorkers are a happy bunch). But neither request happens. Joan ends up shooting the intruder.

And the intruder ends up being her husband Jack, back early from yet another business trip.

Boos erupted to the point I was partially deaf for a good half hour.

I still can’t remember what happens after that, but I’m pretty sure Joan joins the tarot reader’s coven. Either way, some older woman next to me said, “Man, that was really for the birds!”

And despite being a George Romero fanatic, I had to agree. SEASON OF THE WITCH (a.k.a. HUNGRY WIVES, a.k.a. JACK’S WIFE) is a slow, tedious, boring-as-you-can get feature that even the most die-hard horror fan will have trouble getting through without a fast forward button. Being in a suburban grindhouse made it kind-of fun (and barely bearable), but I’d love to know how other audiences around the country reacted to this “early work from the Master of Horror.”

I’ll take another dozen of Romero’s …OF THE DEAD films before sitting through this thing again. Until next time, I’ll be putting ice packs on my upper-arm bruises…

When the BEST part of a film is a slow-moving recurring nightmare sequence, you know you’re in trouble! The Masked Intruder from SEASON OF THE WITCH (1972).

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SEASON OF THE WITCH

Posted in 2011, Cinema Knife Fights, Demons, Nicolas Cage Movies, Witches with tags demons, Medieval times, Nicolas Cage, ron perlman, The Crusades, Witches on January 10, 2011 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: SEASON OF THE WITCH (2010)
by Michael Arruda & L.L. Soares

(The Scene: A Medieval forest. MICHAEL ARRUDA & L.L. SOARES ride on horseback, leading a group of knights and priests transporting a jail carriage holding a caged witch through the forest.)

MA: Welcome, everyone! We’ve signed up for witch duty so we can review the new movie SEASON OF THE WITCH.

LS: Just what is “witch duty” anyway?

MA: Well, it’s when we get paid for—.

LS: We finally get paid? I like witch duty!

MA: Yeah, we get paid for helping these folks transport an evil witch through the forest so she can be tried by a group of monks in the hope of ending the Black Plague, since folks back in these medieval times believed that witches caused these sort of things.

LS: You just gave your plot summary.

MA: Pretty much. Anyway, we’ll kill two bats with one stone, as we’ll review the movie while transporting the witch.

LS (Looks back at girl in jail cart): But she’s so cute. How can she be a witch?

(Girl in cart waves, winks, and flirts with LS.)

MA (to LS): Hey, stop that! She’s supposed to be evil.

LS: What’s wrong with that?

MA: Need I remind you that you’re married?

LS: Not in Cinema Knife Fight World, brother…ahem…. Don’t you have a movie to start talking about?

MA: Yes, let’s get started. SEASON OF THE WITCH (2010) is a tale of two 14th-century knights, Behmen (Nicholas Cage) and Felson (Ron Perlman). The movie starts off with multiple battle scenes in which we get to see just how cool and bad-ass Behmen and Felson can be. They’re the “A-Team” of the Crusades. They never die, and they kill everybody, that is, until one day Behmen kills a defenseless woman, and then realizes he and his knight buddies have just slaughtered a castle full of women and children in the name of God. Disillusioned, Behmen and his buddy Felson desert the crusaders.

LS (laughs): What a dope. That’s not how the movie starts. The movie starts with three women being tried as witches and hung. And drowned. But one won’t stay dead.

MA: Dope? It’s impossible for you to get through a review without making insults. I guess you think you’re still in grade school.

A plot summary is a condensed version of the movie, bud. It’s not meant to include every friggin detail! Dummy.

This desertion doesn’t last long, because soon they’re recognized, captured, and brought to the ailing Cardinal D’Ambroise (Christopher Lee).

LS: It took me a little bit to realize that was Christopher Lee. He’s almost unrecognizable with that plague-scabbed make-up job. I dunno what gave it away for me – his eyes, his curled lip. But I was like “Hey, isn’t that the great Christopher Lee?” Isn’t he like 90 by now? But he keeps making movies!

MA: Yes, Lee is pushing 90. He’s 88.

The Cardinal is dying from the plague, and he beseeches Behmen and Felson to serve the church once more by transporting an evil witch across the dangerous countryside to an abbey where a group of monks in possession of a powerful prayer book will be able to try the witch, and if she is found guilty, she will be executed.

LS: Boy, you just said a mouthful.

MA: This is crucial, the Cardinal says, since he believes that this witch is the cause of the Black Plague which has infiltrated their town.

LS: Of course, it couldn’t be caused by rats and the fact that people crap in the street.

MA: Behmen refuses until he actually sees the witch in the dungeon. The innocent-looking girl (Claire Foy) reminds him of the woman he had slain, and so Behmen changes his mind, believing that if he can get this girl a fair trial, then he can make amends for the innocent blood he had spilled.

Joining Behmen and Felson on their journey is a priest (Stephen Campbell Moore), a soldier named Eckart (Ulrich Thomsen), a guide Hagamar (Stephen Graham), and a young former altar boy who wants to become a knight, Kay (Robert Sheehan.)

LS: Stephen Graham, who plays the sleazy swindler Hagamar (who guides them through the forest) looked awfully familiar to me, but I couldn’t place him. Turns out he’s the guy who plays Al Capone on the HBO show BOARDWALK EMPIRE. Imagine seeing Al Capone around back in the 1300s! I wonder if he could get me some bathtub gin!

MA: The rest of the movie is the tale of their journey, with the central question being, is this witch really a witch, or is she simply a girl? Well, that question is answered early on, (remember the title, folks!) and so our brave band of men are constantly fighting for their lives against the powers of darkness as they make their way towards the abbey. Along the way they deal with strange visions, a pack of supernatural wolves, and the old standby in a lot of movies over the years, the decrepit bridge swaying high above a treacherous rocky river, over which they must pass with their heavy jail cart, in one of the movie’s better scenes.

LS: Didn’t we see the same thing in MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL?

(A wizard suddenly materializes from thin air, wearing a horned helmet)

WIZARD: What is your favorite color?

LS (chops off his head with a battle axe): Red!

MA: Nice move. You just offed a wizard. He could have helped us on this journey.

LS: Well, guess what? He’s not helping us now!

MA: I can see that.

LS: You know, when I first heard about SEASON OF THE WITCH, I thought it might be a remake of George Romero’s film of the same name from 1972. But it has nothing to do with Romero’s movie.

MA: SEASON OF THE WITCH is also the title of the ill-fated third film in the original HALLOWEEN series, the one without Michael Myers, HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1983)

Anyway, back to this SEASON OF THE WITCH. The story leads to a conclusion where there is a slight plot twist, followed by the obligatory battle between good and evil.

I liked SEASON OF THE WITCH a lot. I loved the look of the film, as I’m a sucker for period pieces. Was it the most dazzling visual set piece I’ve seen in a while? No, but it was purdy darn good looking, as these things go!

My favorite part of the film though was the acting by the two leads. I really enjoyed Nicholas Cage and Ron Perlman and thought they shared a great camaraderie. They were fun to watch. I know I’ve spent recent weeks saying I’m not the biggest Nicholas Cage fan, but he’s excellent in this movie as Behmen, the troubled knight who’s fed up with bloodshed in the name of God. I thought Perlman was even better as his sidekick Felson, and he gets most of the best lines in the movie.

The rest of the cast is also very good. I really liked Claire Foy as the witch, or as she’s listed in the credits, as “the girl.” She was just as good as Cage and Perlman. Stephen Campbell Moore was solid as the priest Debelzag. Moore was one of the leads in THE CHILDREN (2008) a film I liked a lot but you didn’t, and he was good in that movie too. Robert Sheehan as the young knight wannabe Kay was sufficiently sincere and noble, and I liked that he didn’t really fall into the cliché categories we often see with these types of characters, you know, where they’re kind of silly and hokey (the Luke Skywalker syndrome) or overly angry that they’re not getting their due (see the other Skywalker, Mr. Vader himself, Annakin). Sheehan as Kay was very likeable without being wimpy and whiny or arrogant. You wanted to see him become a knight. And Stephen Graham was entertaining as the guide Hagamar.

But my favorite bit of casting by far: Christopher Lee as Cardinal D’Ambroise! Need I say more? Here we are in 2011 and we’re still blessed by Lee’s presence on the big screen. Amazing! Absolutely amazing! Now, Lee’s only in one scene, and he’s practically unrecognizable behind all the Black Plague make-up – he’s almost as unrecognizable as he was in his horror movie debut as the Creature in THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1957)—but to see him on that big screen even for just one scene— priceless. Heck, I’d tell you to go see this movie just for those few minutes of Christopher Lee!

LS: Come on! Lee is a great actor, but he’s not the best thing in this movie. He does what he was paid to do: another fine, but small, performance. This is not going to go on his resume as one of his last great roles. He just keeps the story moving!

MA: Did I say he’s the best thing in this movie, you ol’ ding dong? I said the fact that he’s still on the big screen makes this movie worth seeing! Pay attention!

LS: You know, you make about as much sense as a script by M. Night Shyamalan.

Voice: HALT!

(A flash of green smoke reveals the WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST from THE WIZARD OF OZ standing before them!)

LS: Look lady, we gotta keep going, or we’ll never get there.

WICKED WITCH: Not so fast. Where did you get those ruby slippers! (she points at MA’s feet)

MA: You need some glasses, lady. I’m wearing medieval knight boots.

WICKED WITCH: Don’t tell me what you’re wearing! What do you think I am, blind?

MA: Apparently.

WICKED WITCH: Those shoes once belonged to my sister, the Wicked Witch of the West. You must have killed her to get those shoes. And I want them back!

LS: Wrong movie. We don’t have time for this.

MA: I’m telling you, they’re boots! Hey, ask my friend here what his favorite color is.

WICKED WITCH: Why?

MA: Just do it. His answer will surprise you.

WICKED WITCH: Fine. (to LS) What’s your favorite color?

LS (swings axe and beheads witch.): Red.

MA: Thanks.

LS: Damn witches.

WITCH IN CAGE: So that’s what a real witch looks like.

LS: You don’t fool us. We know you’re not an innocent girl.

WITCH IN CAGE: Whatever do you mean?

MA: Real girls don’t have wings and talons.

WITCH IN CAGE: Oh.

MA: Back to our review – before we were so rudely interrupted.

LS: Overall, I was surprised by the acting, too. I mean, Nicolas Cage doesn’t have the best track record. I have to admit – I like him a lot. (to MA) Stop laughing! (Back to Audience) But I don’t like a lot of his movie choices. I can’t tell you how many Cage movies I completely avoided because they just looked torturous to watch. His roles seem to be either serious and thoughtful (which is rare) or completely over-the-top (which is often).

In SEASON OF THE WITCH, he does a little of both, with the quieter scenes where he’s broody, and then the majority of the movie where he hams it up, even if he may not completely mean to. (Who can tell?) But the truth is, he seemed to be having a lot of fun in this movie, especially in his scenes with Perlman (who’s good in everything he’s in, even the bad movies).

Voice: HALT!

LS: Not again! We’ll never finish this review.

(WITCHYPOO from the Sid and Marty Krofft show H.R. PUFNSTUF appears before them)

WITCHYPOO: How dare you enter my evil forest! Now hand over that talking flute and I will let you pass with your lives!

LS (Throws hatchet at her): Get your ass outta here!

(WITCHYPOO runs away)

MA: That was easy enough.

FREDDY THE FLUTE (in LS’s saddlebag): Whew. I’m sure glad she didn’t find me!

LS: Shut up, you damned flute!

MA: Anyway, I enjoyed the story of SEASON OF THE WITCH, as the journey the characters must make across the countryside is a rather compelling one. Admittedly, I would have enjoyed it more had it been more hard-hitting. This would have worked even better as a darker horror movie, as opposed to a fantasy flick, which is what it is now: a fantasy movie with dark elements. It plays more like LORD OF THE RINGS than a Vincent Price period piece.

LS: Oh yeah, this movie is fluff compared to the best of the witch trial movies, like Michael Reeves’s classic WITCHFINDER GENERAL from 1968 (aka THE CONQUERER WORM) starring Vincent Price, and MARK OF THE DEVIL (1970) with Herbert Lom. And there is a bit of that “epic journey” feel from LORD OF THE RINGS at times. And I hate those movies! But overall, I liked SEASON OF THE WITCH a lot, too.

MA: The ending was fair. It was predictable, and the battle between good and evil which unfolds is nothing I haven’t seen before. I thought the demon at the end of the film was cool-looking and better than some of the recent CGI creations I’ve seen, but was it amazing? No.

LS: In some scenes, the demon looked cool. In others it looked really fake. They should have gone with more of mix of make-up and CGI like they did in THE WOLFMAN (2010). Straight CGI just isn’t reliable if you’re striving for a realistic look.

MA: The best thing SEASON OF THE WITCH has going for it is the camaraderie between Cage and Perlman. They’re the main reason to see this movie, and the main reason why I liked it so much. They’re really entertaining. I also liked how they spoke in contemporary language. This might bother some people, but I thought it worked well here. They spoke like they belonged in the 21^st century, with lines like “Let’s get the hell out of here,” and conversations about who’s buying the beer.

So, I enjoyed the screenplay by Bragi F. Schut. I thought the dialogue was excellent and the story passable. Sure, it was nothing I hadn’t seen before, but for what it was, it was entertaining.

LS: I dunno if the screenplay completely worked. This was the biggest gripe for me. The dialogue got pretty silly at times. So much so, that it had the audience I saw this with howling. Screenwriter Bragi Schut certainly didn’t do any research on the use of language in that time period. We’re not talking DEADWOOD here. It’s like a mash-up of period-speak (or a facsimile thereof) and modern speech. Even though it was goofy at times, I agree that it was entertaining enough. And the anachronisms certainly didn’t take away from any of the fun.

MA: The same can be said for director Dominic Sena. The film looks great and everything seems to work well, but there weren’t any “go for the throat” moments that would have made this one an instant classic. The best scene in the movie was where they had to cross the bridge, as that was fairly suspenseful, but it’s not like I haven’t seen that same exact scene done a thousand times before!

LS: I actually thought that scene was a snooze. It went on way too long and we’d seen stuff like it many times before. My favorite scene is actually the very first scene (the first witch trial) and then I love any scenes where Cage and Perlman banter. The two of them really do have great chemistry together and are believable as old friends. It’s that chemistry that saves SEASON OF THE WITCH from being a stinker.

MA: The fight with the wolves was so-so, and the CGI here was the same as most other CGI these days. It rarely wows me. And the ending battle was okay, with a neat-looking demon, but again, it wasn’t all that original.

However, the movie is entertaining and hard to dislike, even if it doesn’t go for the knockout. I wasn’t bored at all, and I had fun watching Cage and Perlman for 90 + minutes.

I give SEASON OF THE WITCH 3 knives.

LS: I give 3 knives as well. Not a bad way to start 2011.

MA: Not a bad way at all!

LS: Are we at our destination yet?

(A MONK approaches them from a stone building)

MONK: Look, we’re closed for the season. You’ve got to go back!

MA: MONK LAND is closed? But it’s my favorite medieval theme park!

MONK: Them’s the breaks you foul-looking rogues. Be off with you!

LS: We didn’t want to see your stupid theme park anyway!

MA: I did.

WITCH IN CAGE: So what happens to me?

(LS lifts crossbow and kills her)

MA: What did you do that for? She didn’t ask you what your favorite color was!

LS: Because we gotta wrap this up and that was the quickest way.

MA: That’s horrible! Poor girl. I’ll never forget the look of horror on her face when that arrow pierced her heart.

LS: Come on, let’s head to a pub.

MA: Pub? How can you think of drinking now? That girl—-.

LS: Forget about the girl.

MA (despondent): I can’t.

LS: I’m buying.

MA: Girl? What girl?

-END-

LL Soares gave SEASON OF THE WITCH - 3 KNIVES!

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THE GATES

Posted in 2010, LL Soares Reviews, TV Shows, Vampires with tags ABC, frank grillo, horror TV, rhona mitra, Television, the gates, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches on June 29, 2010 by knifefighter

THE GATES (TV SERIES REVIEW)
by L.L. Soares

Actress Rhona Mitra, as a sexy vampire, might be reason enough to
watch ABC’s THE GATES, airing Sundays at 10pm EST

I’m always hoping that good new horror TV shows will turn up. It’s not impossible. Sure, there have been a lot of clunkers lately, but then there’s also been TRUE BLOOD, the excellent HBO vampire series, based on the “Sookie Stackhouse” books by Charlane Harris, which has just started its third season by introducing us to a few hard-as-nails werewolf characters. TRUE BLOOD proves that horror can still be done well in series television. Hell, it’s more than a well-done show. It’s downright addictive.

Network television isn’t immune to a good horror show, either. It’s just harder to come by. A few months back, ABC debuted a new ongoing drama called HAPPY TOWN, about a strange little town where people occasionally disappear. The disappearances are attributed to a mysterious figure known as The Magic Man. I’ve already reviewed that show for this site, and I’ve enjoyed it a lot. While it does play up the “quirkiness in a small town” factor, reminiscent of David Lynch’s groundbreaking 1980s ABC television show, TWIN PEAKS, I thought the show was a quality series and deserved a chance. However, ABC canceled it after only two episodes. But it’s not all bad news for HAPPY TOWN. The rest of the episodes that were already in the can have been playing throughout the summer. While I’m enjoying it, and I think the show continues to be very good, there is no chance it will receive a reprieve.

In the meantime, ABC has introduced a few new shows during the summer months. One of these is THE GATES, which premeired on Sunday, June 20^th at 10pm. This one is about Nick Monohan (Frank Grillo), a Chicago cop who was involved in some kind of scandal (about shooting a possible unarmed man). While he was cleared, he’s looking for a change of location and accepts a position as the police chief of a gated community. As the show begins, he’s just moved his family to this place, which is like a complete town (even has a shopping center) inside the confines of gates, to keep undesirable elements out. This sounds like an easy job after policing the streets of Chicago, but right off the bat Nick finds that there’s something a little “off” about this place.

But this is not your typical gated community. This one has strange secrets. Residents include a couple of vampires, one of whom (Rhona Mitra) has trouble resisting any kind of temptation; competing witches, one of whom appears to be trying to blackmail as many members of the community as she can (foreshadowing her demise, perhaps, later in the season?); and a star football player who happens to be a werewolf with anger management issues.

And the more I see of the Monohan family, the more I wonder if they have some supernatural secrets of their own that we just aren’t privy to yet.

Aside from the personal lives of The Gates’ residents, there are also some crimes for Nick to solve, including the murder of the previous police chief, who is found shot to death outside the perimeter of the gates. Even though it’s technically outside his jurisdiction, Nick takes charge of the investigation, uncovering lots of strange things the former chief was trying to cover up about himself and several of the community’s residents.

While the show does not break any new ground, and I don’t think it is as smart or anywhere near as good as the much-maligned HAPPY TOWN, I think THE GATES is entertaining enough to keep people watching. It is also on at the perfect time, since TRUE BLOOD airs on Sundays on HBO from 9 to 10pm. Those looking for a vampire fix after TRUE BLOOD can simply change the channel to ABC for THE GATES.

I’ll continue to tune in and see if the show gets any better. But so far, the very striking Rhona Mitra (veteran of such television series as THE PRACTICE, BOSTON LEGAL, NIP/TUCK and SGU STARGATE UNIVERSE – not to mention having been the love interest in the movie ALI G INDAHOUSE (2002)), playing a very sexy vampire, is reason enough to watch.

Archive for Witches

OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL (2013)

Suburban Grindhouse Memories # 60 – SEASON OF THE WITCH (1972)

SEASON OF THE WITCH

THE GATES

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