CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT:  TOKYO GORE POLICE
by Michael Arruda and L. L. Soares

FADE IN

(On a street in downtown Tokyo, MICHAEL ARRUDA and LL SOARES are dressed in police armor. The buildings are dark and the road is full with bodies)

MA: What happened here?

LS: I don’t know. Maybe someone was angry that they canceled THE BIONIC WOMAN.

MA: Really?  Seeing that we’re in Tokyo, I would have imagined some giant monster with hot breath having something to do with this.

LS: I dunno. They look sort of chopped up to me.

MA: Anyway, today we’re reviewing a DVD, right?

LS: Yes. This week we’re reviewing the Japanese film TOKYO GORE POLICE (2008), and it certainly lives up to its name. If you’ve got a problem with gruesome effects and fountains for blood, then chances are this movie is not for you.

MA:  I’d say about a 99.9% chance.

LS:  TOKYO GORE POLICE is not very scary, however. It’s actually more of a live-action cartoon.   And it definitely has a sense of humor to it. On those levels, it really works. The plot may not always make a lot of sense, but basically it’s about a near-future Japan where the police force is privatized, and criminals are shot dead in the street. One of their best officers is Ruka (Eihi Shiina), a stoic and beautiful police woman who is an expert with a samurai sword. In fact, she’s so formidable that she is their prime agent in the war against a new public menace called the “Engineers.”

These Engineers are biological criminals who can adapt their bodies when wounded. For example, if a hand gets shot off, the stub might just bond with a chainsaw. Or a stomach wound might become a giant mouth. It’s not very easy to kill these mutants, but Ruka is the best there is at protecting the city from them.

MA:  You know, I liked the idea of the Engineers.  I thought it very creative, and had this movie not been so damned grotesque, it might have been good, but more on that later.

LS:  The story also flashes back to the death of Ruka’s father when she was younger. He was a good cop who spoke out against the corporation that sought to privatize the police force, and he got shot in the head for his troubles. The question as to who killed him is one of the main mysteries of the movie, and ties Ruka’s fate directly to that of a geneticist who also happens to be the leader and creator of the Engineers.

There’s also some weirdness (hell, everything in this movie is weird) about a strange key-shaped tumor that is inside each of the body-modified Engineers. But not only is it present in them, they can “insert” these tumors into other people and turn them into Engineers as well. I thought this was a pretty cool way to propagate their species.

Some of the strange body mutations reminded me of David Croneneberg’s “body horror” movies like VIDEODROME and EXISTENZ.  But even more than that, TOKYO GORE POLICE reminded me of the classic Japanese flick, TETSUO: THE IRON MAN, which dealt with a businessman who slowly transformed into a machine. Like TESTSUO, TOKYO GORE POLICE has a real comic book feel to it, more like a live-action anime film than an out and out horror movie. A lot of the acting is over the top, and some of the scenes are very funny. Some of the mutations are pretty hilarious as well, including a man whose penis is transformed into a kind of cannon.

(A deranged mutant attacks them and they open fire, shooting it to bits. From its damaged head pops up two new heads. One looks like MOE and the other one looks like CURLY from The Three Stooges)

MOE: Spread out! (pokes CURLY in the eyes).

CURLY: NYAAAAAAAAAH

(MOE’s arm punches CURLY’s head and they fall down on the ground, wrestling)

LS: The lead performance by Eihi Shiina is perfect, though. While everyone around her is spilling over into camp, she plays it completely straight, and is terrific as Ruka.  Some people might recognize her as the scary girl form Takashi Miike’s classic from 1998, AUDITION, easily one of my favorite horror films of the last two decades. In AUDITION, she was downright terrifying. Here, she’s the no-nonsense cop in a world gone insane. She’s terrific in both roles.

I’ve actually wanted to see this movie ever since I first heard about it last year. A friend of mine saw the trailer at a convention and raved about it, but frankly they had me at the title. There is something just so cool about a movie called TOKYO GORE POLICE. Luckily, the movie itself lived up to its title. This flick literally sprays blood everywhere, it’s like a Tarantino film on steroids, and it’s a lot of fun in the process.

I don’t mind saying I really enjoyed this one.

So what did you think of it, Michael? For some reason, I thought this wouldn’t be your cup of tea, but I could be wrong.

MA:  First let me commend you on your description of this movie.  You do it justice, and describe it in near-perfect detail.  The one thing I disagree with you on, is likability.  See, I hated TOKYO GORE POLICE, and I’ll tell you why.

Oh, it has nothing to do with the way the movie looks.  On style points alone, TOKYO GORE POLICE nearly won me over.  The people behind this movie, specifically the person calling the shots behind the camera, clearly know how to film a movie.

LS: That would be cinematographer  Shu G. Momose and director Yoshihiro Nishimura.

MA: There are some wonderfully photographed scenes chock full of memorable images. So in terms of style, TOKYO GORE POLICE is full of it.  Too bad it’s also full of gore.

TOKYO GORE POLICE is the most stylish piece of smut I’ve seen in a long time.

LS: Smut? Here we go.  I think your Puritanical side is showing again, Michael.

MA: That’s smut as in obscenity, as in being offensive.   I enjoyed nearly all the scenes that didn’t include gore, yes, all three of them.  Seriously, there’s more than three, but there’s so much blood and grotesque mutilations going on in scene after scene that, unless you’re really into that sort of thing, it’s just not fun.  Still, art-wise, this movie looks terrific.  Too bad it constantly goes for the gross-out, because in doing so, it negates its style points.  You’re too busy feeling sick and nauseous to notice how good the film looks.

(Another freaky mutant that looks like a muscular version of HELLO KITTY attacks and they open fire. This time its stomach rips open to reveal…)

(SIGN FLASHES ON SCREEN:  THIS GAG HAS BEEN CUT OUT DUE TO ITS BEING PURE FILTH!)

(The screen goes blank, and then suddenly resumes)

LS (wiping blood off his face): The thing is, I didn’t feel sick or nauseous once. But then again, I’ve never been particularly squeamish about blood – especially fake blood that is obviously over the top.

MA: I do agree with you about Eihi Shiina.  I thought she was terrific in the lead as well.  And that was part of the film’s style, to have Shiina’s beauty juxtaposed with the grotesque crimes around her.

And I liked the music score.  A lot.

LS: I agree with you there.

MA: But while you enjoyed the film’s campy plot and thought it was funny, I was simply too distracted by the putrid images to even care.  I didn’t laugh once.  Had less emphasis been placed on the gore, I might have loved this movie, but as it stands now, I did not.

Now, obviously, gore’s the point of the movie.  That’s why it’s called TOKYO GORE POLICE.

LS: I’d say so.

MA: Yeah, with a title like that, you kinda know what you’re in for.  Still, it could have been a far different movie and still retained its campy edginess.  If you’re like me, you’re hoping a film like this is campy fun.  Sadly, while it is campy, it’s not fun.  It’s just gross.  For those of you who like gross-outs, have fun.  You’ll no doubt love this movie.  But for those of us who actually want to enjoy a movie without throwing up, don’t bother with this trash.

And it is trash.  When you place so much emphasis on gore, you can’t be anything but.

LS: Really? That’s news to me.

MA: See, it says so right here! (Hands LS a newspaper with the headline, EXCESSIVE GORE IS TRASH!).

LS:  Which just goes to show you, you can’t believe everything you read in the newspaper!

MA:   I have no respect for this movie, and I continue to believe that movies like this do more harm to the horror genre than good.   Who would choose to sit down and watch this movie other than a hardcore fan?  And if that’s all you’re aiming for, that small percentage of audience, then that’ s not saying much.

LS: I disagree completely. I think this could appeal to a lot of people who aren’t bothered by extreme effects. I could see this becoming a huge cult movie with the college crowd. Trash implies this movie has no redeeming value. But seriously, redeeming value is in the eye of the beholder. It’s also a moral question, and frankly, in a medium that is supposed to provide entertainment, I don’t think moral stances really need to be involved.

MA:  In the eyes of one who watches lots of horror movies, it has no redeeming value.   Going for the gross-out has always been and will continue to be the easiest way to get a scare, or in this case, in a movie that’ s not really trying to be scary, to get a reaction.  Writers who can’t do better always settle for the gross-out.  Certainly, writers who can do better can choose to go for the gross-out as well.  That’s fine.

LS:  Um, can you please make up your mind?

MA (ignores him): Unfortunately, writers who can’t do better never write the scariest scene ever.  My point is that the gross-out is the basest form of horror.  Always has been.  Always will be.  There’s no getting around it.  Once you go for the gross-out, whether you intend to or not, you’ve lowered yourself, and there’s no talking your way out of it.

Dirt is dirt.  To clean dirt, you don’t cover it up and say “Look how good this dirt looks.”  No.  To clean dirt, you get rid of it.  You remove the dirt and what’s left is clean.  A movie like TOKYO GORE POLICE is full of gore, filth, and things that gross you out just to gross you out.  With these things in the film, I can’t respect it, nor can I say too many good things about it.

To me, watching TOKYO GORE POLICE is as much fun as sitting in front of your toilet bowl and throwing up after you’ve been out drinking all night.  Did I say that it was a particularly stylish toilet bowl?

LS: That’s funny, because I would think that a movie called TOKYO GORE POLICE really wants to get a reaction out of its viewers, and whether you enjoyed it or not, you certainly had a reaction. At least you have to admit, you can’t be indifferent to this one.

But, as I’ve said,  I totally disagree with your comments about the gore content in this film. Because it is so cartoony, I find it difficult to take any of this movie seriously.  So it’s hard for me to understand your comments about it being “trash” or “dirt.” That seems a bit exaggerated and reactionary to me.

MA:  So it’s cartoony.  It’s still gross.

LS: Gross. What are you, five years old and collecting Garbage Pail Kids?

At the same time, I found myself wondering at times, while watching it, what it would have been like if it had played it completely straight. If they’d left out the cartoony gags and the humor. That might have been even more interesting. But I’m guessing, if that were the case, you wouldn’t even be here reviewing it with me, because that probably would have been a lot more disturbing.

But we’re not reviewing what it could have been, we’re reviewing what it is, and I, for one, had a great time watching this one. I found it very entertaining, visually fascinating, and often, just plain goofy.

It’s times like these that I’m glad you don’t control what movies get released. Something like TOKYO GORE POLICE would never get made, and I, for one, would find that very sad.

MA:  Here, have a tissue.  I’m all broken up.  Seriously, I’m not taking away your favorite films from you. I could give a care if they make hundreds of movies like this.  But as long as they do, and as long as I see them, I’m going to give my opinion, which I’m going to guess most of the time will be negative because I prefer films that are a bit easier on the senses.  I’d rather have my eyes well with tears from an emotional reaction rather than feeling like I’ve been punched in the nose.  I’m not into that.

LS:  This all comes back to a debate we’ll probably have for eternity, the whole “quiet horror vs. extreme horror” argument. While you seem pretty firm in your belief that there’s no place for gore at all, and that less is always better, I still maintain that there’s room for both kinds of expression.

MA: I didn’t say that.

LS (turns to face screen): Lloyd, can you rewind the tape?

(FILM RUNS BACKWARDS AND THEN STOPS AT KEY MOMENTS)

MA:  Too bad it’s also full of gore.

MA:  I enjoyed nearly all the scenes that didn’t include gore.

(MA holds up a newspaper that reads EXCESSIVE GORE IS TRASH! while he dances around)

LS: I rest my case.

MA:  And I rest mine- I didn’t hear myself say there’s no place for gore, or that less is always better, though it usually is.  And I didn’t dance around – you added that in digitally!

Look, there’s always room for gore, and there’s times when going for the gross-out works too, but it’s easy to do, and when you do it so much, as is the case in this movie, where nearly every “horror” scene is a gross-out, it gets old fast.

LS:  I like plenty of “quiet” horror movies and books, but I think it would be pretty bland if that was the only kind we got. Sometimes it’s just very cathartic and fun to go hog wild with the blood and guts.  And there’s no reason why people who like this sort of thing need to feel ashamed or that they need to defend it.

MA:  I agree, up to a point, which is why I liked a movie like PUNISHER WAR ZONE. But TOKYO GORE POLICE crossed the line for me.  My senses were assaulted just a bit too much during this one.

LS:  The bottom line is, it’s not friggin real. It’s not hurting anyone. So your desire to wipe this kind of thing off the face of the planet just strikes me as killing an ant with an rocket launcher. The audience for this kind of flick will find it. People who won’t like it, will stay away. In this case, the title represents total truth in advertising, and it makes it an easy decision.

So we’re going to have to disagree about this one. Strongly.

But I still think it’s silly to have such a strong, angry reaction to a movie that, at its most basic level, is just plain silly. I, for one, can’t wait for TOKYO GORE POLICE 2.

MA: I’m not angry.  I just didn’t like the movie.  You had a strong positive reaction to it, and I had a strong negative reaction.

(GODZILLA pops his head up from behind a tall building)

GODZILLA: Hey, at least I never resorted to filthy gore to get a reaction out of anyone.

MA: No, but you did talk in one of your films.  GODZILLA VS. GIGAN, I think.   Now, that was scary!!

(GODZILLA scowls, then breathes fire on them, burning them into two crisps)

FADE OUT

(First published on Fear Zone on 3/23/2009)

© Copyright 2009 by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares