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REMOTE OUTPOST: Four New Shows Worth Your Time

Posted in Crime, Mark Onspaugh Columns, Remote Outpost, Serial Killers, Spies, TV Shows with tags Alan Ball, Banshee, Following, James Purefoy, Keri Russell, Kevin Bacon, Remote Outpost, Ripper Street, The Americans on March 5, 2013 by knifefighter

REMOTE OUTPOST
Written by Mark Onspaugh
THIS WEEK: FOUR SHOWS WORTH YOUR TIME

Dear Remote Outpost,

I am a busy professional and single parent. When I am not doing research on a lost civilization, I am worried about my daughter and dealing with an eccentric artificial intelligence. Please tell me, what television programs are worth my time? Thank you – oops, gotta go – it seems I have visitors.

Cordially,

Dr. Edward Morbius, Altair IV

*****

Yes, there’s a lot on TV these days, and a lot of it is what Marshall McLuhan called “pooh.” Luckily for you, reader, Remote Outpost sifts through all the “muck” to find you the gems.

THE FOLLOWING (Fox, Mondays at 9:00 PM, EST)

I will admit, I am largely tired of serial killer movies and dramas. So many are by-the-numbers that I will only watch if I like the actor(s), director or the concept. Kevin Bacon is an interesting actor, and one known for taking on interesting projects. In the past, he and wife Kyra Sedgwick (THE CLOSER, 2005-2012) alternated projects, so both have been very discriminating.

The Premise: Joe Carroll was a brilliant and charismatic professor of literature who specialized in the works of Edgar Allan Poe. Realizing he would never equal Poe as a writer, he instead paid homage to his hero by killing young woman in “artful” ways. Carroll was captured by FBI agent Ryan Hardy, but not before seriously wounding him. Present day, Hardy is retired with a pacemaker and a drinking problem. Carroll engineers an escape from prison that is the first step of a diabolical and enormously complex conspiracy: a network of serial killers that are awaiting activation, willing to carry out his bidding. Carroll is soon captured by Hardy, but his plan is already in motion. A brilliant detective who knows Carroll’s mind, Hardy must overcome his many limitations to stop dozens, maybe hundreds of serial killers.

Hardy is played by Kevin Bacon (TREMORS, 1990, APOLLO 13, 1995, HOLLOW MAN, 2000, THE WOODSMAN, 2004—he was also one of the victims in the first FRIDAY THE 13^TH movie in 1980), and he brings a wounded but youthful intensity and cockiness to the role. His nemesis Carroll is played by James Purefoy, a Brit who played SOLOMON KANE in 2009 (and was also Mark Antony on the HBO series ROME from 2005 to 2007), and brings just the right balance of smarminess, faux warmth and cold calculation to his role. The series was created and written by Kevin Williamson, who wanted something to replace the series 24 (2001-2010) on Fox. Williamson, who ushered in the teen angst dramas with DAWSON’S CREEK (1998-2003), reinvigorated horror movies with the SCREAM franchise (beginning in 1996) and mashed the two up in THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (2009 – Present) is adept at believable characters, humor and twists. More than once on THE FOLLOWING, I have been fooled by who is involved in the conspiracy and who isn’t.

Bacon and Purefoy are worth FOLLOWING

The show is intense, and plays with serial killer conventions, from a wannabe who lies to his girlfriend about killing someone (he never has) to seemingly innocent, weak people who are actually cold-blooded killers. Like any show with a massive conspiracy, it sometimes seems ridiculous just how much planning has gone into this one, from creating a private computer server at a prison to placing people in key roles in certain areas. But Williamson is an adept writer, and Kevin Bacon and all the regulars are top notch. Part of the fun is trying to guess who may betray Bacon down the line, and hoping it’s not one of the characters you genuinely like.

*****

RIPPER STREET (BBC America, Saturdays at 9:00 PM, EST)

The Premise: A police procedural set in London’s East Whitechapel in 1889. It has been six months since the last murder of Jack the Ripper, and the pall of his murders hangs heavy over the district. Overseeing Division H is Inspector Ethan Reid, a brilliant detective aided by brawler/war veteran Sergeant Bennett Drake, and an American—former Army surgeon and Pinkerton agent, Captain Homer Jackson. Each episode deals with murder and other high crimes, some motivated by politics and greed, others the result of long-held secrets and betrayals. The show plays with the events of the era and also the beginnings of modern forensics and pathology.

One of the most wonderful things about current film technology is the ability to convincingly portray a time and place long gone. No more stagey sets with some (clean) costumed extras, we can now see the city from all sorts of angles, all its filthy warrens and grand homes displayed, making us feel that we truly have a view of London in the last days of the 19^th Century.

Our three principals have secrets: Reid lost his daughter in some horrific accident, and his torso is covered with burn scars. Tough and formidable Drake has done some horrible things in war and longs for love. And Homer Jackson is fleeing his past in the States and finds himself working alongside the people who may ultimately bring him down.

Matthew Macfadyen in RIPPER STREET.

Matthew Macfadyen is brilliant as Reid, passionate about justice and still stinging from never having caught the Ripper. I was not familiar with his work, but he has been in everything from PRIDE & PREJUDICE (2005) as Mr. Darcy to the Sheriff of Nottingham in ROBIN HOOD (2010) to Athos in THE THREE MUSKETEERS (2010). He was also “Hatchet Victim” in the “Don’t” trailer of GRINDHOUSE (2007). Jerome Flynn is wonderful as Drake, and can also be seen in the current HBO series, GAME OF THRONES, as Bronn. Adam Rothenberg brings an irreverence and lasciviousness to his role as Jackson, the sole American at Division H. Each episode is inventive, deftly plotted and certainly well worth your time.

*****

THE AMERICANS (FX, Wednesdays at 10:00 PM, EST)

I wasn’t sure about this one, but FX has presented some great dramas, including THE SHIELD (2002-2008) and SONS OF ANARCHY (2008 – Present). My wife and I watched the pilot and were hooked. The series takes place during the Reagan administration and deals with two deep-cover KGB agents living in suburbia and raising two kids (who have no idea that their parents are not travel agents). Matters are further complicated when an FBI Counter-Intelligence Agent moves in with his own family across the street.

First off, it’s some great espionage stuff and actual events (Hinkley shooting Reagan, for example) are incorporated into the plotlines. The series was created by Joe Weisberg, who was a CIA officer, so each episode has an air of authenticity. Our three principles are all terrific. Keri Russell (FELICITY, 1998-2002 and DARK SKIES, 2013) is Elizabeth Jennings, a woman who has trained to seem like any other American. She is fully committed to Mother Russia and would die for her country. She can be seductive one moment and coldly ruthless the next. Her husband Phillip is played by Matthew Rhys. Phillip is conflicted—not only has he fallen in love with his wife, he sees that America is not the evil entity it has been portrayed as being and he worries for his kids. He is ruthless, but no more so than when going after someone who raped Elizabeth back in Russia or a creep who leers at his young daughter. Now Phillip’s doubts have started to crack Elizabeth’s icy façade. Noah Emmerich is FBI agent Stan Beeman, who has his questions about the Jennings, but is hampered by his own problems as home and his wife accusing him of seeing Russian spies everywhere. Emmerich was also seen in the AMC series, THE WALKING DEAD, as Dr. Edwin Jenner.

Russians at home in the USA during the Cold War in THE AMERICANS.

The show does a nice job of balancing the missions of our protagonists against the moves and counter moves by the FBI. The Jennings new contact is Claudia, played by Margo Martindale, recently so amazing in the FX series, JUSTIFIED, as Mags Bennett. FBI agent Beeman reports to Agent Gaad, played by (of all people) Richard Thomas (John Boy on THE WALTONS, 1971-1978). There is plenty of suspense on both sides, whether the FBI is recruiting an unwilling asset from the Russian embassy or the Jennings are getting an equally unwilling asset to plant a bug in the home office of Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger. A recent episode covered the Reagan assassination attempt and the FBI trying to find out whether the Soviets were involved, while said Soviets were trying to determine if this was the first step to a military coup (aggravated by Secretary of State Al Haig saying he was in control). The characters and the plotting are believable and compelling – well worth watching.

*****

BANSHEE (Cinemax, Fridays at 10:00 PM, EST)

I had been waiting on this one, because Alan Ball is involved, and it is my favorite of the four. Ball is the screenwriter of AMERICAN BEAUTY (1999) and was/is the executive producer on two fine series on HBO, SIX FEET UNDER (2001-2005) and TRUE BLOOD (2008 – Present).

The Premise: An unnamed protagonist is released from prison. He is a master thief and in love with Anastasia, the daughter of Ukrainian crime boss Mr. Rabbit, from whom the two stole a fortune in diamonds. His accomplice is an Asian transvestite and brilliant hacker named Job. Job reluctantly tells the thief that his lover (who has the diamonds) is living in Banshee, Pennsylvania, a tiny town in Amish country. While visiting a bar on the fringes of Banshee, our protagonist comes to the aid of owner Sugar Bates, an African-American ex-boxer and ex-con. Sugar is being accosted by thugs. The other patron of the bar is, unbeknownst to them, the new Sheriff of Banshee, Lucas Hood. Hood is on his way to report in, but stopped off for drink. He has the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The thugs are killed, but so is Hood, who no one in Banshee has ever seen. Sugar can’t afford an investigation, nor can our protagonist. They bury the bodies in the woods and our thief makes the bold decision to present himself in town as Sheriff Hood. His lover Anastasia now lives as Carrie Hopewell, a wife and mother to the town D.A. and has two children – one of whom is probably the thief’s daughter.

The cast of BANSHEE.

Things are complicated by local crime boss Kai Proctor – an Amish man who left his people to deal in drugs, extortion, racketeering, murder and anything else that will bring him money and power. Hood comes to be both respected and loathed by many (including some on the force) because his methods are (of course) unconventional, violent and often illegal. Hood has the code of many anti-heroes, looking to realize his own agenda while often helping the poor, the oppressed and the downtrodden. Job reluctantly moves to town because Hood owes him a great deal of money, and together with Sugar they look for possible big scores from the local casino. Of course, Hood’s lover Carrie knows who he is, but can’t expose him without exposing herself. And oh, did I mention that Kai Proctor owns a slaughterhouse and is a butcher? Bet you can’t guess how he disposes of troublesome underlings. And he has a creepy, merciless lieutenant who wears nerd glasses and bow ties.

As with any show Ball is associated with, the characters are colorful and complex, and the sex, nudity and violence are plentiful and right to the edge of what cable will allow—this is not a show for the faint of heart.

The man soon to be Hood in BANSHEE.

Hood is played by Anthony Starr, a Kiwi who seems mostly to have been involved in series in New Zealand, or their evil twin, Australia. Carrie is played by Ivana Milicevic, the villainous Valenka in CASINO ROYALE (2006) and her father Mr. Rabbit is played by Ben Cross, lately seen as Spock’s father in the STAR TREK (2009) reboot. Ulrich Thomsen (SEASON OF THE WITCH, 2011 and the new version of THE THING, 2011) plays Kai Proctor, Hoon Lee (TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES, 2012) is Job and Frankie Faison (MESSENGERS, 2004, CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE’S ASSISTANT, 2009) plays Sugar.

This is a show filled with “Holy s**t!” and “WTF!” moments, and I often try to predict how a certain arc will play out, and am often delighted to find I am totally wrong. This series is definitely worth your time.

As for upcoming shows I am still excited about, they include BATES MOTEL, THE VIKINGS and DEFIANCE. We’ll be looking at these in a future column.

Hope that answers your question, Dr. Morbius. Good luck on that whole id thing.

Outpost… out.

THE REMOTE OUTPOST LOOKS FORWARD, THEN BACK AT 2012

Posted in 2012, 2013, Alien Worlds, Based on Classic Films, Mark Onspaugh Columns, Prequels, Remote Outpost, Science Fiction, Television, TV Shows with tags Banshee, Battlestar, Breaking Bad, Defiance, Fringe, Remote Outpost, Television, Vikings on January 16, 2013 by knifefighter

You find yourself on a barren and desolate world, light years from anything or anyone you know… Without much food or water, your oxygen running low, you strike out for the distant hills… After days of torturous climbing, you see an oasis below. An installation of quonset huts bedecked with hundreds of television antennae. Congratulations, Traveler, you’ve reached… THE REMOTE OUTPOST.

THE REMOTE OUTPOST LOOKS FORWARD, THEN BACK
By Mark Onspaugh

Well, the holidays have come to an end at the old Remote Outpost. The freeze-dried Christmas tree has been vacu-packed, the electronic menorah has been powered down and reintegrated into the antenna array, and the powdered eggnog and dehydrated turkey are on order for next year.

Now that the snart herds have moved to the Seventh Crater and the triffids are dormant, it’s time to reflect on that most marvelous technological advancement, television. We’ll try to adopt a more positive air going into 2013, at least on this rainy afternoon. (Besides, a “Worst Of” list would take many times the word count I am allowed.)

5 SHOWS THAT MAKE ME DROOL WITH ANTICIPATION

New shows are on the horizon, and some of them sound just peachy. Here are the ones I am most excited about:

BANSHEE (Premieres January 11, Cinemax). Alan Ball has become one of those names you look for. He wrote the screenplay for the movie AMERICAN BEAUTY back in 1999, and has since been the creative force behind the television series SIX FEET UNDER (2001-2005) and TRUE BLOOD (2008 – Present). I am a big fan of TRUE BLOOD and recently came under the spell of SIX FEET UNDER (see below). So when I heard Ball was executive producing a new series, I got downright twitterpated. BANSHEE concerns an ex (or escaped) con who poses as the (murdered) sheriff in the Amish community of Banshee. As with other projects with Ball at the helm, the secrets our protagonist keeps are just the tip of the iceberg in Banshee. One of the characters is named Mr. Rabbit, who will be played by Ben Cross. Mr. Cross portrayed Sarek, Spock’s father, in the STAR TREK reboot of 2009. He also stars in the upcoming JACK THE GIANT KILLER (2013), which is NOT to be confused with JACK THE GIANT SLAYER (also 2013)—that stars Ewan McGregor. It looks like it’ll be Brits vs Scots in the land of the giants.

BATES MOTEL (Premieres March 18, A&E). A psychological thriller that will give background on Robert Bloch’s beloved psycho. Hitchcock’s 1960 film is the initial inspiration, but beyond that, the producers will not be a slave to it or its sequels. The show is not, as one critic suggested, “How I Stuffed My Mother.” Besides Norman’s mother and her lover, the townspeople will also play a role in Norman’s descent into madness, and producers promise it won’t all be black and white, connect the dots. Norman Bates will be played by Freddie Highmore, the young actor so wonderful in FINDING NEVERLAND (2004), CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (2005) and AUGUST RUSH (2007). Freddie has grown up, and actually looks like a young Tony Perkins. Norman’s mother will be portrayed by Vera Farmiga, who promises mother Norma Bates will be both sympathetic and layered. We all know Vera from such films as THE DEPARTED (2006), JOSHUA (2007), SOURCE CODE (2011) and the upcoming THE CONJURING (2013). BATES MOTEL is produced by Carlton Cuse of LOST (2004-2010) and Kerry Ehrin of FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS (2006-2011).

DEFIANCE (Premieres April 15, Syfy). A lush science fiction drama where Earth has been remade into an almost alien world by extraterrestrial visitors who were denied permission to settle. After a long and costly war with humanity, the two species now live in an uneasy peace and try to make the Earth habitable for both. Defiance is the name of the town in the ruins of St. Louis, and where our protagonist, Jeb Nolan becomes head sheriff. There he must contend with humans, aliens, military types and various dangerous characters. From the trailers I’ve seen, this will be no cheap-looking, terrible CGI suck-fest. It is tied in with a game, but what show isn’t multi-platforming these days? Hopefully the writing will give us another BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (2004-2009) or SGU STARGATE UNIVERSE (2009-2011).

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: BLOOD AND CHROME (Premieres February 10, Syfy). I was around when Glen A. Larson first introduced us to Cylons and humans whose names were the same as some of our more ancient gods and goddesses. I didn’t much care for the show, but watched it because I was starved for SF on TV. When the (then Sci-Fi Channel’s) remake was announced for 2004, I just shook my head and chuckled. I ignored it, until a friend hit me over the head with the DVD’s. I quickly became an ardent fan, and was sad when the (regrettable) ending aired. Now we have a chance to visit that universe again, as we see young “Husker” Adama and his friends in the first war with the Cylons, before the skin jobs made the scene. Like the many incarnations of STAR TREK, I anxiously wait for the chance to geek out in a world that is interesting and well-formed. Here’s hoping it’s as good as its predecessor.

VIKINGS (Premieres March 3 on History). Cable has often found fertile ground in examining (often in lurid detail) historical events, places or infamous families. DEADWOOD (2004-2006), THE TUDORS (2007-2010) and THE BORGIAS (2011 – Present) gave us all the scandal, gore and sex we were never taught in history class but always suspected (or hoped) was there. While perhaps not wholly accurate, all these shows had/have sumptuous production values, good writing and acting. Now comes the saga of Ragnar Lothbrok, who, legend has it, was descended from Odin himself. VIKINGS will be produced for the History Channel, who brought us that bang-up version of the feud of the HATFIELDS AND McCOYS (2012). VIKINGS was created by Michael Hirst, who created the aforementioned TUDORS, and one of its stars will be Gabriel Byrne, who has been in such movies as STIGMATA (1998), END OF DAYS (1999) SPIDER (2002) and GHOST SHIP (2002). By Odin’s eye I will be there!

WELCOME TO THE PARTY, PAL!

If I’m wrong, I am usually man enough to admit it. Two shows I came late to the party for are THE BIG BANG THEORY and SIX FEET UNDER (2001-2005).

BIG BANG is shown initially on CBS (on Thursdays at 8pm EST), and then rerun about a billion times a day on TBS and Fox. Even though I love science fiction, pop culture and DC comics (all of which BB has in buckets and bales), I thought the character of Sheldon Cooper (portrayed by Jim Parsons) was just too two-dimensional. A friend of mine is very devoted to the show, and kept tempting me with anecdotes about appearances by Wil Wheaton as an evil version of himself (Wil was the much-loved or despised character of Wesley Crusher on STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION, 1987-1994), and a Spock action figure voiced by Leonard Nimoy himself. I finally watched the show for more than one episode, and found that Parsons is quite brilliant. It’s not easy to portray such an unlikeable character and make him endearing. I have to admit, when he approached Penny (about her intending to break up with his roommate) and said, “Please don’t hurt my friend,” I actually teared up. The entire ensemble is terrific, and there are lots of references to physics, DC superheroes, Star Trek, Star Wars and sex —and who doesn’t love one or all of those things?

SIX FEET UNDER is no longer with us, but lives on in DVD form. Created by Alan Ball, it revolves around the Fishers, a family who owns a small but honest funeral home in L.A. Patriarch Nathaniel Fisher is killed in a bus crash while driving one of the family hearses. Though dead, Nathaniel often appears to council or annoy one of his family, and is played by the amazing Richard Jenkins (THE VISITOR 2001, CABIN IN THE WOODS 2011, JACK REACHER 2012). His family includes son Nate (Peter Krause of THE LOST ROOM, 2006 and currently on the NBC drama PARENTHOOD), son David (Michael C. Hall, now the star of DEXTER), daughter Claire (Lauren Ambrose of the recent remake of COMA 2012) and wife Ruth (Frances Conroy of AMERICAN HORROR STORY). Each episode begins with a death (not always the one you expect) and that corpse’s impact on one or more of the family and/or staff. At times, the deceased will interact with a character. In addition, a huge funeral home conglomerate is trying to put the Fishers out of business, and each member of the family has secrets that are coming to light.

IT’S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE, FAREWELL, AUF WIEDERSEHEN, GOOD NIGHT

Two of my favorite shows are saying “adieu” this year (inarticulate sobbing here)…

One is FRINGE (Fox, Fridays 9pm EST), which began in 2008 as a sort of new take on THE X-FILES (1993-2002) but evolved more into a love story and a search for redemption. Though complex, I never felt lost in the mythology as I came to be with THE X-FILES. The central core of characters Agent Olivia Dunham, Peter Bishop, Walter Bishop and Astrid Farnsworth are all wonderfully played by Anna Torv, Joshua Jackson, John Noble and Jasika Nicole, and ably supported by Blair Brown as Nina Sharp, Lance Reddick as Philip Broyles and Leonard Nimoy as Dr. William Bell. Noble as Walter is one of the great characters of recent SF TV, a genius and mad scientist who had parts of his brain cut out so he would not become evil and callous, unlike his counterpart on a parallel Earth. The elective surgery has left a man with a taste for sweets, inappropriate sexual banter and a craving for LSD and music of the 60s and 70s. If you never gave this series a try, do so. I, for one, will sorely miss it.

BREAKING BAD took one episode to hook all of us here at the Outpost. It concerns a high school chemistry teacher who discovers he has cancer. Looking to make money to pay for his treatment (and to take care of his family once he is gone), Walter White (the just awesome Bryan Cranston, once the father on MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE 2000-2006) turns to making meth with a former student, Jesse Pinkman, portrayed by Aaron Paul. And he’s real good at it. His product is so good it’s soon drawing the attention of tweakers, dealers, cartel members and DEA agents. Complicating matters is the fact that his brother-in-law works for the DEA, and is not the lunkhead he seems to be. What is fascinating is how Cranston essays a good man who gets into a dirty business, and transforms over time from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde… This is not only someone who becomes evil, he enjoys it. BREAKING BAD airs on AMC (the last episodes of the final season will be airing soon), but you’ll want to watch it from the beginning.

I’ll close out this year-end wrap-up with a list of shows I think are well worth your time:

BOARDWALK EMPIRE (HBO) —A bloody and dark series about Atlantic City in the 20s and the rise of organized crime, with Steve Buscemi at the center of it all.

GAME OF THRONES (HBO) —Warring kingdoms, sex, gore, dire wolves, dragons and things undead. What’s not to love?

THE WALKING DEAD (AMC) —A wonderful series where the living are just as important as the living dead, with brilliant makeup, effects and many WTF! moments.

JUSTIFIED (FX) —A Federal Marshall returns to rural Kentucky in this bitchin’ series from the mind of Elmore Leonard. Timothy Olyphant and Walton Goggins are lawman and outlaw who were boyhood pals. Brilliant.

SONS OF ANARCHY (FX) —Hamlet on Harleys. Also brilliant.

ARROW (CW) —Green Arrow without the Smallville soapiness.

THE NEIGHBORS (ABC) —A very human family moves to a cul-de-sac filled with aliens. The seemingly one-joke premise continues to be inventive, delightful and hilarious.

BOB’S BURGERS (FOX) —My favorite animated show. Unattractive characters (literally) and hilarious send-ups of family sitcom sweetness.

SHAMELESS (SHO) — The saga of the Gallaghers, who are grifters living by their wits in Chicago. Many of their efforts are often derailed by the worst of the lot, their patriarch, played by William H. Macy. A U.S. version of a Brit show, and hilarious.

LUTHER (BBC America) —Idris Elba is amazing as a British detective in this dark and inventive series.

FACE-OFF (Syfy) —The only reality show I watch—sure, some of the drama is manufactured through writing and editing, but the contestants come up with amazing effects makeup—without CGI!

Remote Outpost Looks at: THE FALL 2012 TV SEASON

Posted in 2012, Comedies, Horror, Mark Onspaugh Columns, Remote Outpost, Science Fiction, Superheroes, Television, TV Pilots, TV Shows with tags American Horror, Animal Practice, Arrow, Beauty and the Beast, Last Resort, Mockingbird Lane, Remote Outpost, Revolution, Television on November 21, 2012 by knifefighter

REMOTE OUTPOST Takes a Look at
THE FALL 2012 TV SEASON
Written by Mark Onspaugh

You find yourself on a barren and desolate world, light years from anything or anyone you know… Without much food or water, your oxygen running low, you strike out for the distant hills… After days of torturous climbing, you see an oasis below. An installation of Quonset huts bedecked with hundreds of television antennae. Congratulations, Traveler, you’ve reached… the REMOTE OUTPOST.

****

OUTPOST UPDATE: By now you’ve probably seen the President’s address, the various news specials and viewed the onsite footage. Since it’s been declassified, I can tell you the Outpost had been infested with Tofugitives. As you know, this is a plague of giant, sentient slugs that target populations of carnivorous, T-bone eating humans; consuming them and producing soy-based replicants nearly indistinguishable from the original. Since many on my crew are often in a somnolent state or snorting Snart, it was impossible to determine there had been an outbreak until the Outpost was overrun. But everything’s… everything’s fine, now… send your research ships… and tourists… yes, lots of tourists… the more, the better. And some blocks of tofu would be… most appreciated, humans… er, friends.

And now, on to today’s exciting column.

WHAT’S NEW IN GENRE TV, ANYWAY?

Well, it was just like Christmas at the Space-Orphanage: a few gifts around the tree, some disappointing, a couple surprisingly wonderful, and the rest a pile of used astro-diapers, steeped in a puddle of tears and hair torn out in frustration.

****

REVOLUTION (NBC, Mondays at 10pm EST)

The network is touting this as a breakout hit, and probably think they’ve caught lightning in the LOST (2004-2010) bottle. The show was created by Eric Kripke, who also created SUPERNATURAL. The series concerns an inexplicable catastrophe that shuts down all electrical power. Nothing works, and the pilot had planes falling from the skies as cities went dark. We pick up some fifteen years later, when some have created small, rural communities and others are forming fascistic attempts at a new world order. And, certain people have a strange medallion which sometimes lights up and powers any machinery or devices in the immediate area. I have to admit I bailed on SUPERNATURAL in the first season, because I just never felt invested in the Brothers Winchester, much as I wanted to be. I found the same problem with REVOLUTION. I love science fiction, and desperately hope for something as engaging as the best of the STAR TREK universe, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (2004-2009) or STARGATE: UNIVERSE (2009-2011). I just found the villains on the show to be over-the-top mustache-twirlers, and the heroes tiresome and (frankly) boring. But, I have been wrong before. I gave up on STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE (2001-2005) early on because of the characters, then a good friend told me how terrific the story arcs were in later seasons. And you know what? He was right. If such a person tells me I missed the boat on REVOLUTION, I’ll rent the DVD’s.

****

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: ASYLUM (FX Channel, Wednesdays at 10pm EST)

I loved the first season of AMERICAN HORROR STORY – it was fresh and inventive, had engaging characters and some genuinely scary and creepy moments. I applauded the idea that each season would bring a different setting and story arc, though some of the actors would be the same. ASYLUM bounces back and forth between a couple visiting an abandoned asylum and running afoul of a serial killer called “Bloody Face,” and the same asylum in its heyday in the 60’s. Besides serial killers and a Nazi doctor a la Mengele (and H.G. Wells’s Moreau), the first two and a half episodes had an exorcism, alien abductions and a nun possessed by the devil. The cast has some terrific actors, including Jessica Lange as Sister Jude, James Cromwell as Dr. Arden and Zachary Quinto as Dr. Thredson. Maybe I am just tired of hospitals and asylums as a setting for horror stories… It could be the torture aspects, which I have never been crazy about (and were lacking in season one)… But… Watching the episodes I had TiVo’ed just felt like homework, which is a bad sign. It may be that there are just too many elements – Nazis, aliens, demons and nuns? I’d love to see creators Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk develop a series about alien abductions in the 60’s – that would probably be scary as hell… Or just nuns and demons… Or just Nazi experiments in creating animal-men… Again, if I find later I have given up prematurely, I will re-check it out.

****

LAST RESORT (ABC, Thursdays at 8pm EST)

I had been looking forward to this series, because I am a big fan of Andre Braugher (HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET, 1993-1998, THIEF,2006 and MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE, 2009-2011) and the series was created by Shawn Ryan, the man behind the awesome series THE SHIELD (2002-2008). If that ain’t enough cred, Robert Patrick is just terrific as Master Chief Prosser. Patrick was the living metal Terminator in TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY (1991) and Agent John Doggett on THE X-FILES (1993-2002). LAST RESORT concerns the USS Colorado, a nuclear sub commanded by Captain Marcus Chaplain (Braugher). The sub picks up a contingent of Navy Seals with a prisoner. Soon after, they are commanded to nuke Pakistan. Since the orders come from a secondary relay, Chaplain refuses. Then the U.S. fires on the Colorado, trying to destroy it. Chaplain commandeers a remote island and declares a 200 mile barrier around it until they can sort things out. To prove his point, he fires a nuke at Washington, its actual course taking it out to sea so no one is killed. The show is filled with conflict, both on the sub and the island and back home. Has there been a coup? Who can be trusted? Loyalties and alliances constantly shift and dangers come from within and from without (including the islanders themselves). I don’t know where the show is going, but it’s very, very engaging, and that’s what I want more than ever. Homework? Not this one.

Scott Speedman, Robert Patrick and Andre Braugher in LAST RESORT.

****

ARROW (The CW, Wednesdays at 8pm EST)

Another pleasant surprise, although the trailer had sold me. Many think this is a SMALLVILLE (2001-2011) version of the Green Arrow, and it’s easy to understand why. SMALLVILLE had its own version of the Green Arrow. He was also an incarnation of GA where Oliver Queen is shipwrecked and develops his archery skills to survive until he is rescued. But that Oliver was embroiled in SMALLVILLE’s brand of soap opera teen angst, which often took precedence over the action. This version of the Green Arrow is much grittier. Here, Oliver is a shallow playboy who convinces his girlfriend’s sister to go with him on a pleasure cruise on his father’s yacht. The yacht goes down, and only Oliver, his father and another man survive. Knowing they only have limited rations and Oliver is no fighter, his father gives him a journal outlining the corruption in Starling City before killing the other man and taking his own life. Oliver is helped on the island by a Chinese sort of Robinson Crusoe and undergoes a profound change. Upon returning, he pretends to be the shallow billionaire playboy, but by night he dons the Lincoln green and goes after the people on the list… And this Green Arrow kills! Finally, a superhero with lethal skills going the distance. (I’m lookin’ at you, Wolverine!) Mind you, I wouldn’t want to see Superman or Batman killing people, but Queen as a murderous vigilante brings a whole new level to the story. Stephen Amell is quite good as Oliver, and his girlfriend is an attorney named… Dinah Lance. Black Canary, anyone? Hmm, maybe – she already mentioned to Oliver that she regretted wearing fishnets to a Halloween party… Green Arrow and Black Canary? Yes, please!

****

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (The CW, Thursdays at 9pm EST)

I know as a galactic pilot and critic I should take one for the team (that being you Earthers), but I just couldn’t bring myself to watch this. I could barely make it through the promos, and this did seem like a SMALLVILLE-ified version of the series made famous in 1987-1990 with Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton. I guess partially because the “beauty” in this case is Kristin Kreuk, who played Lana Lang in SMALLVILLE. If you love the show, let me know. Otherwise, let’s pretend it’s not even on and move on…

****

MOCKINGBIRD LANE (Aired on NBC on October 26, 2012 – Unsold Pilot)

Another show I looked forward to because I loved THE MUNSTERS (1964-1966) as a kid and this was Bryan Fuller’s take… Fuller created DEAD LIKE ME (2003-2004), which is still one of my all-time favorite series. I knew this would be a grittier take on Herman and his family, because I had read that Eddie “wolfs out” and kills several members of his Scout troop. (Hmm, another show made attractive by murder… Paging Dr. Freud!) Anyway, I didn’t want to read anything else, and that was both a blessing and a curse. This is actually a version of the Munsters where they have been liberally mixed with THE ADDAMS FAMILY (1964-1966) – these Munsters look perfectly human, but also know they are special. There is a nice sight gag when we first meet Herman – standing in the shadows, a hanging lamp behind him alters his silhouette into the block-headed and bolted Monster we all know and love. Herman is played by Jerry O’Connell, who was a lot of fun in SLIDERS (1995-2000) and seemed more famous in later years for marrying Rebecca Romijn (“Mystique” in X-MEN 2000), but he is quite good here. His Herman only has one piece of “original” equipment, his heart, which is giving out. He is afraid a new heart will change him. Lily is played by the wonderful Portia de Rossi, so damn funny in BETTER OFF TED (2009-2010), and her first appearance is right out of Ray Bradbury, as spiders spin a gown on her shapely form. Grandpa? Eddie Izzard. Man, I’d tune in just to watch Izzard alone. His grandpa looks like Eddie, but can morph into a bat-winged demon (part gargoyle, part Nosferatu) to feed. The pilot was sly and well written, and underneath was the running thread of love and family unity… and people… people who feed on people, being the luckiest people in the world. I was ready to make MOCKINGBIRD LANE part of my week, but sadly, this is an unsold pilot, aired to recoup some network bucks… Sad, because the writing, acting and production values were all top-notch, including the cameo by Spot at the end, which was just killer. Oh, well…

****

The short-lived series ANIMAL PRACTICE

ANIMAL PRACTICE (NBC, Wednesdays at 8pm EST – Canceled)

A word about this show, which has already been cancelled while dreck like the NBC sitcom WHITNEY survives like some malignant virus. ANIMAL PRACTICE concerned a vet who didn’t like people and his best friend, Dr. Rizzo, a small capuchin monkey in her own lab coat. Tyler Labine was also in the show (if you haven’t seen him and Alan Tudyk in TUCKER AND DALE vs EVIL, 2010, you’re missing a true gem), and it was pretty off-the-wall. Not a show that would be deemed a classic (not yet), but damn, that monkey made me laugh – every… stinking… episode. TV needs more monkeyshines, less Whitney.

****

Final Note: My favorite shows currently are THE WALKING DEAD (AMC, Sunday nights at 10pm EST), SONS OF ANARCHY (FX Channel, Tuesdays at 10pm EST) and BOARDWALK EMPIRE (HBO, Sundays at 9pm EST ). All are just terrific, and each is well written, acted and produced – well worth your time. I also have high hopes for the SyFy series DEFIANCE, coming in the near future.

OUTPOST… out.

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The Remote Outpost Looks At THE INVADERS (1967 – 1968)

Posted in 2012, 60s Television, Aliens, Classic TV Shows, Fugitives, Mark Onspaugh Columns, Remote Outpost, Science Fiction, TV Shows, UFOs with tags Alien Invaders, Classic Television, Quinn Martin, Remote Outpost, Roy Thinnes, Science Fiction TV, The Invaders on August 15, 2012 by knifefighter

THE REMOTE OUTPOST…. Written by Mark Onspaugh
This week we look at: THE INVADERS, in color! Tonight’s episode: Pinkies of Doom!

You find yourself on a barren and desolate world, light years from anything or anyone you know… Without much food or water, your oxygen running low, you strike out for the distant mountains… After days of torturous climbing, you see an oasis below. An installation of quonset huts bedecked with hundreds of television antennae. Congratulations, Traveler, you’ve reached… THE REMOTE OUTPOST.

****

While we’re waiting for the next crop of science fiction and horror series to debut on network and cable, I thought we’d stroll through the musty and parasite-infested archives of the Outpost. N… O… P… Q. Hmm… Quark, Quasar, Quigley – ah, QM.

Back in the 60s and 70s, one of the more successful television producers was Quinn Martin (1922-1987). Martin was born in New York, but raised in Los Angeles. He attended Fairfax High and then UC Berkeley, but quit and got an editing job with MGM. (His father was also a film editor—always good to have connections!)

Martin rose up the production ladder and would eventually executive produce a number of television classics: THE UNTOUCHABLES (1959-1960), The Fugitive (1963-1967), Twelve O’Clock High (1964-1967), The F.B.I. (1965-1974), Cannon (1971-1976), The Streets of San Francisco (1972-1977) and Barnaby Jones (1973-1978). QM also produced the Burt Reynolds series DAN AUGUST (1970-1971) and the short-lived (8 episodes) TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED (1977). One of Martin’s few forays into cinema would be the memorable THE MEPHISTO WALTZ (1971), where Alan Alda (of all people) makes a deal with the Devil and lives to regret it. (Note to self: cancel deal meeting with Beezlebub.)

Quinn Martin Productions were known for having a lavish guest star budget and high production values. Another trademark was that each show would feature a title sequence, then a narrator would intone “With guest stars…” and “Tonight’s episode: ‘Pardon My Murder!’” (Actually, that’s a joke from MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 [1988-1999], but it certainly captures the flavor of QM titles.) Episodes were divided into acts and ended with an epilog. It all helped to establish the QM brand, and no other series looked or sounded like QM productions.

This whole period was a golden age for character actors, as there were many anthology series and dramas needing guest stars to round out the cast. Familiar faces like Ed Asner, Suzanne Pleshette, William Windom, Michael Rennie, Susan Oliver, Harold Gould and John Larch (among many, many others) would make the rounds, often appearing on two different QM shows simultaneously. A good character actor could often work nearly year-round in those days.

Quinn Martin produced one of my favorite science fiction shows, THE INVADERS which ran on ABC from January 10, 1967 to March 26, 1968. ABC was the last network to adopt color programming, so the network would run bumpers that would say, “Next, The Invaders… In color!”

A departure from QM’s police procedurals, many thought THE INVADERS was a riff on THE FUGITIVE. However, Larry Cohen, the series’ creator, drew his inspiration from the films INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956), INVADERS FROM MARS (1953), and from the Alfred Hitchcock trope of “the wrong man.” The hero of the series was David Vincent, an architect who becomes lost and stops to sleep on a deserted road. That night, he sees a UFO land. When he returns the next day with the sheriff, all traces of the UFO and its visitors are gone.

This would be a central thread in most episodes: David Vincent would try to warn people of an Invader scheme, but no one would believe him. The Invaders themselves were aided by the fact that they looked human (unless undergoing “regeneration”) and they vaporized when dying, leaving just a pile of ash. They also had little discs that, when placed on a human, would cause death by cerebral hemorrhage. The Invaders did not bleed, did not feel pain, rarely exhibited emotion and had a mutated little finger that could not bend. Often only David Vincent would notice such clues, and he was often considered dangerous and/or crazy.

David Vincent was played by Roy Thinnes, a handsome young actor who had done well in soaps and was part of QM’s rotating troupe of guest stars on previous series. As with David Janssen in THE FUGITIVE and Bill Bixby in THE INCREDIBLE HULK (1978-1982), he had sufficient charisma to carry the show. As I mentioned, Quinn Martin did not skimp on budgets for his productions, not on effects or guest stars, which may explain why his shows had a richer look than those of Irwin Allen or even the original STAR TREK. Quinn Martin also strove for realism, nothing too far out like Space Cowboys or a Nazi planet.

The iconic theme was by Dominic Frontiere, who did the amazing theme for THE OUTER LIMITS (1963-1965). THE INVADERS also had a dynamite voice-over lead-in, which is one of my most favorites, following THE TWILIGHT ZONE (1959-1964), THE OUTER LIMITS and STAR TREK (1966-1969):

First, you hear Hank Simms, who announced all of Quinn Martin’s series – series name, stars, guest stars and title:

“The Invaders – a Quinn Martin Production! Starring Roy Thinnes as architect David Vincent.”

Then, a gravelly bass voice takes over (my research shows this is supposed to be William Woodson who also did CHALLENGE OF THE SUPER FRIENDS in 1978, but it sure sounds to me like William Conrad, who starred in the QM series CANNON, but was also the voice of Marshall Matt Dillon on radio):

“The Invaders, alien beings from a dying planet. Their destination: the Earth. Their purpose: to make it their world. David Vincent has seen them. For him, it began one lost night on a lonely country road, looking for shortcut that he never found. It began with a closed, deserted diner, and a man too long without sleep to continue his journey. It began with the landing of a craft from another galaxy. Now, David Vincent knows that The Invaders are here, that they have taken human form. Somehow, he must convince a disbelieving world that the nightmare has already begun!”

(Check out THE INVADERS opening credits for yourself, here)

After that, Hank Simms would tell you who was guest starring and the name of the episode. THE INVADERS had great episode titles like “Beachhead,” “The Experiment,” “Doomsday Minus One” and “Quantity: Unknown.”

Wooo-eee! I’ll tell you, friends, if you were a kid who loved science fiction liked me, this show grabbed you from the get-go. Sure, the effects are primitive by today’s standards, but were top-notch for television of the day. And writerly contrivances like disappearing alien corpses and mutated pinkies just added to the nightmarish and surreal predicament in which David Vincent found himself. It made you wonder what you would do under similar circumstances, and made you regard some adults with suspicion… Just why does my British aunt keep her pinky up at tea time?

For his part, show runner Larry Cohen did much to infuse The Invaders with layers, making it a metaphor for the Red Scare and the dehumanizing influence of mindless conformity. He had similar thoughts for BRANDED (1965-1966), the Chuck Connors (western) series he had created as an allegory of Hollywood’s blacklist. An interesting note is that we never learned much about the aliens, only that they came from “a dying world.” We never learned what that world was called or what they called themselves, nothing about their culture or beliefs. There seem to be only two episodes where we got the briefest glimpse of their true shapes, amorphous blobs in solution (which makes our water-rich planet ideal).

Sadly, THE INVADERS only lasted two seasons, and I am not certain why it was canceled. However, the series did take a turn in the second season, where certain people (“The Believers”) begin to trust David Vincent and worked to help eradicate the aliens. For me, this was far less satisfying than a single man alone against terrible odds, and I began to lose interest. I imagine others did, too. It’s like a “will they or won’t they” couple in a sitcom… As long as Sam is pursuing Diane, or Jack and Sawyer are pursuing Kate, there is a natural tension, one that gives the series some weight. Once a couple marries or becomes exclusive, that tension is gone. Also, a lone wolf or fugitive in the series is like a secret friend—someone only we understand and appreciate… Once they become accepted, they are no longer alone (but we are). REMOTE OUTPOST—we don’t just analyze television!

Larry Cohen went on to do low-budget horror faves like IT’S ALIVE (1974) and Q: THE WINGED SERPENT (1982). An Invaders mini-series with Scott Bakula was attempted in 1995, with Roy Thinnes reprising his role as David Vincent, handing off the torch, as it were. It was not picked up for a series… I guess those alien bastards won this round…

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Remote Outpost: THE SCIENCE FICTION TV SHOWS OF IRWIN ALLEN! – PART 2

Posted in 2012, 60s Television, Aliens, GIANTS!, Irwin Allen, Mark Onspaugh Columns, Remote Outpost, Time Travel with tags Deanna Lund, gary conway, Irwin Allen, James Darren, Land of the Giants, Remote Outpost, Robert Colbert, Time Travel, Time Tunnel, White Bissel on June 12, 2012 by knifefighter

Remote Outpost by Mark Onspaugh
This week: A VOYAGE OF THE LOST IN THE TIME OF GIANTS
PART 2 OF 2

Hello from the Outpost, located on a small planetoid that is actually a dead generation starship which is hurtling out toward the edge of the galaxy… And we’re all out of Poptarts™ and peanut butter……And now back to the science fiction shows of Irwin Allen!

Our third entry from Irwin Allen was my favorite show of his, THE TIME TUNNEL. Ironically, it is also his least successful, lasting only one season from September 9, 1966 to April 7, 1967. The Time Tunnel is a secret government installation under the Arizona desert, code named Project Tic-Toc. The only way inside was via a large secret panel in the desert floor; when it opened, a car could descend into the complex. The Tic-Toc base was a futuristic series of complexes 800 floors deep and employing over 36,000 people (“12 thousand people in each of those complexes”). Its design was inspired by the complex of the Krell in FORBIDDEN PLANET.

In the pilot, a senator tours the facility and concludes it is a waste of money—he is going to shut it down. To prevent this, headstrong young physicist Anthony “Tony” Newman, dressed in slacks and a swingin’ green turtleneck, powers up the giant device all alone and plunges in—and lands on the deck of the Titanic. (Ironic horn sound effect here). Tony tries to convince the Captain that the ship is doomed, and is thrown in the brig. Dr. Doug Philips is outfitted with a suit from the period and sent after Tony. He is successfully placed on the Titanic, armed with a newspaper that shows the Titanic sank (Remember, the DVD with Leo and Kate hadn’t been invented, yet). The Captain (Michael Rennie of THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL 1951) throws the newspaper away, and throws Doug in the brig as well.

Tony and Doug do manage to escape and help evacuate the sinking ship—just when it seems like our heroes will perish, the crack team of scientists at the Time Tunnel pluck them from the icy waters and send them tumbling through psychedelic corridors of time, to land in the next historically-vital time and place. They never land somewhere insignificant or devoid of people; they never run into anyone that doesn’t speak English; and their clothes were always clean and fresh (Doug’s even update to a more modern look). And, since Irwin Allen was at the helm, they run into their share of aliens. Allen seemed especially fond of spray painting people silver and putting them in a spacesuit or metallic garb – voila, alien!

THE TIME TUNNEL starred James Darren as Tony and Robert Colbert as Doug. James Darren was a handsome fellow who was in a lot of GIDGET movies before becoming lost in time… He later found himself working as a cop on a series called T.J. HOOKER (1982-1986), opposite some unknown named William Shatner. Robert Colbert (no relation to Stephen) was a workman-like actor who appeared in films like MACABRE (1958) and guest-starred on about a zillion series.

Back at the lab, always reliable Whit Bissell was Lt. General Heywood Kirk, John Zaremba was Dr. Raymond Swain and the lovely Lee Merriwether was Dr. Ann MacGregor. Whit Bissell is best remembered for turning Michael Landon into a Lettermen-jacketed lycanthrope in I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF (1957), but he was also Dr. Frankenstein in the same year’s I WAS A TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN —clearly, a bad influence on teens. Whit also appeared in THE TIME MACHINE (1960) and SOYLENT GREEN (1973). John Zaremba appeared in EARTH VS THE FLYING SAUCERS (1956) and 20 MILLION MILES TO EARTH (1957). Lee Merriwether was Catwoman in the BATMAN movie of 1966 (she was neither as sexy as Julie Newmar or Eartha Kitt on the subsequent TV series). She, like the others, did a ton of TV, but I seemed to confuse her with Mariette Hartley, who seduced Mr. Spock in “All Our Yesterdays”. Sorry, Lee.

Dr. Ann was in love with Doug, but tried to hide her feelings—though very skilled at her job, various men usually pushed her out of the way with impatience to “get the job done.” THE TIME TUNNEL relied on the notion that “the past is immutable and cannot be altered,” a notion that most of us geeks deny. Every week, Dick Tufeld (who voiced the Robot in LOST IN SPACE) would intone: “Two American scientists are lost in the swirling maze of past and future ages, during the first experiments of America’s greatest and most secret project, the Time Tunnel. Tony Newman and Doug Phillips now tumble helplessly toward a new fantastic adventure, somewhere along the infinite corridors of time.” Not so infinite, THE TIME TUNNEL only lasted thirty episodes, and the finale put Doug and Tony back on the Titanic… How’s that for a nice one finger salute to the loyal audience?

****

Irwin Allen’s final excursion into 60s sci-fi was LAND OF THE GIANTS, a series that ran two seasons from September 22, 1968 to March 22, 1970. LAND OF THE GIANTS takes place in the “futuristic” year 1983. Passengers are flying from L.A. to London on the sub-orbital vehicle The Spindrift. The Spindrift passes through a strange cloud and the group crashes on what is either a parallel Earth or an unknown planet in our own solar system (this is never definitively stated and the science is even sloppier than other Allen productions). Anyway, everything on this unknown planet is twelve times larger than our heroes are used to. (If this were a roast on Comedy Central, now would be the time you’d send your kids out of the room.) Apparently, other Earth ships have crashed here before, and the Giants (as our heroes call them) are on the lookout for “little people.” It seems our technology is ahead of theirs, yet the Giants seemed to have mastered cloning and teleportation… Huh?

Our heroes consisted of Captain Steve Burton, Co-Pilot Dan Erickson, Stewardess Heather Young, surly engineer Mark Wilson, pretty Valerie Ames Scott, young boy Barry Lockridge (and his dog Chipper) and the somewhat mysterious and villainous Commander Fitzhugh (a bank robber on the lam). Allen really tried to appeal to all markets with this one—all the men except Fitzhugh were handsome, Valerie wore low-cut tops and mini-skirts (a bit impractical for jungle life and adventurin’) and the relationship between young Barry and Fitzhugh was pretty much identical to Will and Dr. Smith on LOST IN SPACE.

Gary Conway was Captain Steve, and he was the pimply monster in I WAS A TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN, mentioned above. He also appeared in HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER (1958). Co-Pilot Dan was played by Don Marshall, who was Boma in “The Galileo Seven” on STAR TREK TOS (the officer who mouths off constantly to stoic Mr. Spock) and was a doctor in THE THING WITH TWO HEADS (1972), where the head of rich bigot Ray Milland is sewn onto the already-headed body of death row inmate Rosie Grier – why this never became a sitcom, I don’t know. The rest of the cast had many series credits, as actors in Irwin Allen series tend to do, but I would be remiss to all my knife-fightin’ pals if I did not give you a most amazing credit for actress Deanna Lund, who played pretty Valerie Ames Scott. In 1989 Lund would have a role in the movie ELVES, which has this synopsis on IMDB:

“A young woman discovers that she is the focus of an evil Nazi experiment involving selective breeding and summoned elves, an attempt to create a race of supermen. She and two of her friends are trapped in a department store with an elf, and only Dan Haggerty, as the renegade loose-cannon Santa Claus, can save them.” Wow. And again, wow.

(NOTE: By the way, they apparently took a lot of “cheesecake” photos of Deanna Lund with a model of the ship, but nothing of the men—sorry, girls! As far as I can tell—ah, the pains of research—they didn’t do this for any of Irwin Allen’s other shows…)

Beyond the premise that the planet was filled with super-sized people, pets, appliances and breakfast foods, the writers didn’t delve very deeply in the culture, history or politics of the place. The society of the Giants was totalitarian but not very oppressive or militaristic, and most episodes concerned the castaways trying to get home, someone getting caught that had to be rescued, or the Captain preventing them all getting home because the method in question would also allow the Giants access to our world.

The budget per episode was $250,000, which was a record at the time. John “Johnny” Williams wrote the score, which I think may be his worst work—it’s not at all memorable (I could recall the other themes without playing them). The show was cancelled after 51 episodes, and ended without a cliffhanger or the castaways returning home. Despite the presence of Deanna Lund, I grew bored with the series and after just two or three episodes I looked for better fare… I’m sure you did, too. (Looking at the schedule for Sunday nights in 1968, I probably just waited for The FBI, followed by The Smothers Brothers…)

Outpost… out.

****

(Static… garbled swearing… feedback) Just a second! Before we lose contact again, I wanted to comment on a modern-day series, AWAKE, the Jason Isaacs series that was cancelled after one season.

(SPOILER ALERT) As you know, the series concerned a police detective who survived a terrible car accident and lives two realities—in one, his wife survived and his son died. In the other, his wife is gone and his son lived. He goes to sleep in one reality and wakes up in the other. He has a different partner in each, and a different therapist, each trying to tell him the other world is but a dream. Often, insights gained in one help him with a different case in the other. I loved this show—it was creative, well-written and had some wonderful actors. My wife (the lovely Tobey Crockett) had the theory that Detective Michael Britten was in a coma—I loved that—and someday he would wake to find both his wife and son alive… Perhaps the conspiracy behind the accident (involving heroin and other cops, including his Captain) would be real, and he would have solved the whole thing while unconscious… beautiful.

So what was the conclusion? IT WAS ALL A DREAM!… Both realities were dreams within a dream that he had in one night – he woke to find his wife and son alive, no accident, and presumably no conspiracy. Show creator Kyle Killen said he always considered one of the realities a dream, but hadn’t decided which one when the cancel order came on down. Now, I am a forgiving, easygoing feller – I liked the conclusion of LOST while others wanted to hunt down everyone from the creators to the caterers… But this… A dream, really? Ack—at least give us a dream while the guy is on a ship to Mars, ala the American version of LIFE ON MARS (2006-2007). I expected more from you, Kyle, who gave us LONE STAR (2010) and who is supposed to reboot Daredevil… A dream—SHEESH!

Outpost… out. (This time for real)

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Remote Outpost: THE SCIENCE FICTION TV SHOWS OF IRWIN ALLEN! – PART 1

Posted in 2012, 60s Television, Aliens, Classic TV Shows, Irwin Allen, Mark Onspaugh Columns, Remote Outpost with tags Bottom of the Sea, Guy Williams, Irwin Allen, Jonathan Harris, Lost in Space, Remote Outpost, Richard Basehart, Voyage on June 5, 2012 by knifefighter

Remote Outpost by Mark Onspaugh
This week: A VOYAGE OF THE LOST IN THE TIME OF GIANTS
PART 1 of 2

Today I wanted to talk about the science fiction of Irwin Allen. Allen never created a franchise to rival STAR TREK or STAR WARS, but his own name became a recognizable brand in the 60s and 70s. He is responsible for two of the most iconic disaster movies in the history of cinema, THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE (1972) and THE TOWERING INFERNO (1974)—both loaded with stars and special effects. But before turning his attention to upside-down ocean liners and mega-skyscrapers aflame, Irwin Allen was ruling the small screen with family-oriented sci-fi adventures that were filled with great props, good actors, silly concepts, riotous color and little or no concern for the laws of physics, chemistry, biology—hell, any of the sciences that makes up science fiction.

The first and most successful of these shows was VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA. It ran from September 14, 1964 to March 31, 1968. At 110 episodes, it was the decade’s longest running science fiction program with continuing characters.

The series was about a futuristic atomic submarine, the SSRN SEAVIEW, which was based at the Nelson Institute of Marine Research (NIMR) in Santa Barbara, California. When not patrolling the world’s oceans, the sub was moored some 500 feet below NIMR in a secret submarine base carved out of solid rock. The Seaview was officially designed for undersea marine research, but its secret mission was to defend the Earth from all terrestrial (mad scientists, dictators, Amway salesmen) and extraterrestrial threats in the then-future of the 1980s.

VOYAGE starred Richard Basehart as Admiral Nelson (designer of the SSRN Seaview) and David Hedison as Captain Crane. Basehart and Hedison did an amazing amount of television, and there never seemed to be a period where they were not working. Basehart was Ishmael in John Huston’s MOBY DICK (1956, script by Ray Bradbury) and was the Narrator on KNIGHT RIDER (1982-1986). Hedison, of course, was the eponymous character in THE FLY (1958) and also played Felix Leiter in LIVE AND LET DIE (1973) and LICENCE TO KILL (1989).

Based on his movie of the same name (released in 1961 with Walter Pigeon, he of FORBIDDEN PLANET, 1956), Irwin Allen recycled sets, props and models, something he was famous for. Later, when he had more than one series running, alien costumes from one show would show up a week later on another series with just a minor paint job.

Allen also was famous for the “Irwin Allen rock-and-roll,” —the camera was rocked as the on-screen cast rushed from side to side on the set, simulating the ship being tossed around. This would later be seen a lot on our next entry, as well. With an iconic theme (by Paul Sawtell), cool props like the flying sub, monsters and sea creatures, kids like me tuned in faithfully every week—how about you?

****

Irwin Allen’s second foray into 60s science fiction television was LOST IN SPACE. Based on the Swiss Family Robinson story (but not related to an earlier Gold Key Comic of the same name), this program ran on CBS for three seasons, with 83 episodes airing between September 15, 1965, and March 6, 1968. LOST IN SPACE was filmed in black & white the first season and then in riotous color thereafter. Its well known theme was by a composer named John Williams (billed as “Johnny Williams”)—I wondered what happened to that guy?

The pilot was much advertised and I watched it eagerly. It was far more serious than the series ended up: The year is 1997 and the Earth is overpopulated. The brave Robinsons are space-faring colonists headed for a planet revolving around Alpha Centauri. Since the journey will take some time, they’ll remain in suspended animation. Villainous Dr. Smith is an enemy agent who sabotages the ship so that the Robinsons will die and their mission will be a failure. When his people fail to extract him from the doomed ship, Smith has no choice but to wake the Robinsons to save his own skin. Had the tone and writing of the series continued in this vein, it might have rivaled the original STAR TREK (1966-1969) in popularity. But, no.

LOST IN SPACE didn’t really look much at the foibles of mankind or the consequences of bigotry, racism, war and greed like TREK. Its stories seemed more inspired by taking notions popular with kids and sticking the word “space” in as a qualifier: thus, Space Pirates! Space Cowboys! Space Orphans! Space Delinquents! Space Circus! Space Gangsters! Throw in occasional episodes about murderous, humanoid vegetables and you’ve got a series.

LOST IN SPACE starred many familiar faces and a robot second only to Robbie (FORBIDDEN PLANET) in look and personality. (Coincidence? Perhaps not, as both Robbie and the LIS Robot were designed by Bob Stewart.) Guy Williams (Doctor John Robinson) was TV’s Zorro on both the series ZORRO (1957-1961) and on WALT DISNEY’S WONDERFUL WORLD OF COLOR (1957-1962), and Sinbad in CAPTAIN SINBAD (1963). June Lockhart, (Doctor Maureen Robinson), was an iconic TV mom in LASSIE (1958-1964) and would leave outer space for PETTICOAT JUNCTION (1968-1970). Billy Mumy (Will Robinson) may be best known as creepy but powerful Anthony on the TWILIGHT ZONE (1961-1963) episode “It’s a Good Life” and the kid taking calls on a toy telephone from his dead gramma (eek) in the episode “Long Distance Call.” Mumy would return to space in BABYLON 5 (1994-1998). Angela Cartwright (Penny Robinson) was the epitome of a TV daughter on THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW (1957-1964). Rounding out the cast were Mark Goddard as handsome pilot Major Don West, Marta Kristen as blonde beauty Judy Robinson, Dick Tufeld as the voice of the Robot, and Jonathan Harris as Dr. Smith.

As with other TV series (such as HAPPY DAYS’ Fonzie), villainous Dr. Smith was intended to be a limited or peripheral character, but took over the show. Jonathan Harris, a stage and screen actor, turned Smith from a cold and calculating villain to a whiny, lazy, selfish, greedy hypochondriac who was by turns sarcastic or petulant. Children adored him, especially when he was dressing down the Robot, referring to him as a “bumbling booby” or a “cumbersome clod,” among many, many other insults. Smith became pivotal to most episodes, which more and more focused on young Will, the Robot and Dr. Smith’s ill-conceived plots or alliances with treacherous aliens.

This focus (and ever-growing campiness) proved unpopular with adults and teens, leaving children the main audience, and children do not buy advertisers’ products. Its skyrocketing budget was cut—Paramount had lost a lot of money with CLEOPATRA (1963) and was trimming everywhere—and this caused Irwin Allen to storm out of negotiations for a fourth season, hastening its cancellation. Had it survived, it is doubtful stars June Lockhart or Guy Williams would have returned, as both were unhappy with the direction of the show and their diminishing roles in it. Oh, the pain, the pain!

(FINAL NOTE: It seems to me a strange notion to start a colony with one family plus one male – pilot Don West – but this was a family show and the writers obviously knew what the characters didn’t, that the mission was doomed and the idea of a colony would be abandoned in the search for home—back to good old overcrowded, polluted and doomed Earth.)

(TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK….SAME BAT TIME….SAME BAT CHANNEL)

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Remote Outpost looks back at the original DARK SHADOWS

Posted in 1960s Horror, 1970s Movies, 2012, Based on TV Show, Classic TV Shows, Ghosts!, Mark Onspaugh Columns, Remote Outpost, Supernatural, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches with tags Barnabas Collins, Dan Curtis, Dark Shadows, David Selby, Jonathan Frid, Remote Outpost, Soap Opera on May 15, 2012 by knifefighter

REMOTE OUTPOST – OUT OF MY DEPP WITH DARK SHADOWS
Written by Mark Onspaugh

Welcome to Collinwood.

“You can’t watch everything.” – either Marshall McCluhan or George Orwell

The above quote, which is most certainly apocryphal, was especially true in the 1960s, when the only small screen was the television and there were no DVD’s, videotapes, bootlegs or endless carping by fans on websites.

I missed the original DARK SHADOWS (1966 – 1971), partially because I was in school and partially because I was oh-so-serious when it came to monsters, especially vampires and werewolves. (Little did I know that twinkly vampires and basketball-playing werewolves were just down the road, so to speak.) Shows weren’t endlessly promoted and marketed, because there was so little competition for certain shows, what with only three major networks and no cable. Since I had no close friends who watched DS, I figured it was stuff meant more for my Mom, like ONE LIFE TO LIVE (1968 – 2012) and ALL MY CHILDREN (1970 – 2011) (two shows that had long lifespans before recently being canceled by ABC~editor).

DARK SHADOWS was the brainchild of Dan Curtis, who would later bring us such tasty fare as TRILOGY OF TERROR (1975), BURNT OFFERINGS (1976) and DEAD OF NIGHT (1977). Curtis based the show on a dream he had about a mysterious woman on a train. His TV track record was such that he was able to pitch that premise and sell it to ABC.

Initially, the show was about this young woman, named Victoria Winters, an orphan who becomes stranded in Collinsport, Maine, and ends up working for Elizabeth Collins Stoddard and her brother Roger Collins. The show had no supernatural elements, at first. In fact, I was surprised to learn that Barnabas Collins did not appear for the first year of the series. The series was labeled “slow,“ “a bore,” and “confusing” (actors would play multiple characters and also reappear in parallel timelines and flashbacks) by some critics.

The turning point came six months into the series, when ghosts were introduced. Because the series appeared at a time when kids were getting home from school and moms were off making dinner (4pm Eastern), teens claimed it as their own, and it began dominating its timeslot, leading to cancellation of the original MATCH GAME and the variety show ART LINKLETTER’S HOUSE PARTY (both fare aimed at older viewers like Gramma, and your annoying Aunt Beatrice with the mustache and cheese breath).

The original cast of DARK SHADOWS.

Con-men come to Collinswood to search for the family jewels, and inadvertently release Barnabas Collins from imprisonment in a mausoleum. Once Barnabas was introduced, the show would, in its five year run, also feature ghosts, werewolves, witches, warlocks, zombies, monsters, time travel and a parallel universe. (I missed a lot, it would seem!)

DARK SHADOWS had some notable cast members, all except Frid playing numerous roles of contemporary characters, ghosts, doppelgangers and ancestors.

Jonathan Frid, of course, played Barnabas Collins. Frid died just this year, which is sad and ironic, as the movie version has just debuted. Surely as iconic to television vampires as Lugosi was to movie vampires, Frid was a Canadian actor who did little beyond the DARK SHADOWS franchise. As far as I can see, he did two other films, THE DEVIL’S DAUGHTER (with Shelley Winters in 1973) and SEIZURE(1974). Of Barnabas, he said, “I love to play horror for horror’s sake. Inner horror… I mean, I never thought I created fear with the fang business of ‘ Barnabas.’ I always felt foolish doing that part of it. The horror part I like was ‘the lie’.”

Jonathan Frid, the original Barnabas Collins.

Joan Bennett (Elizabeth Stoddard Collins and several other Collins women) had a long and varied career in film and television, doing such diversely different projects as GIDGET GETS MARRIED (1972) and SUSPIRIA (1977). (Note to self: remake of Suspiria with Gidget?)

David Selby (Quentin Collins, everyone’s favorite werewolf) did a lot of TV and found some happiness in nighttime soaps like FLAMINGO ROAD (1981-1982) and FALCON CREST (1982-1990). He was also in a movie based on a New York Post headline, HEADLESS BODY IN A TOPLESS BAR (1995).

David Selby as Quentin Collins. He needed a bit of a haircut when the full moon arose.

Grayson Hall (Dr. Julia Hoffman) also did a lot of TV work including NIGHT GALLERY (1970) and the TV movie GARGOYLES (1972).

During the run of the series, Curtis directed two features with many members of the television cast: HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS (1970) and NIGHT OF DARK SHADOWS (1971). HOUSE follows the arc of Barnabas pursuing a woman he believes is his reincarnated love, Josette, while NIGHT involves a family moving into a house filled with ghosts of witches who are not at rest.

In 1971, it became illegal to advertise cigarettes on television. This huge loss of revenue led to a large purge among the networks, replacing some soaps (like DARK SHADOWS) with the much-cheaper-to-produce game shows. DS was particularly vulnerable because its main demographic—teens—were not the purchasers of food and household goods, the main advertisers on daytime television. Also, the early 70’s (say it ain’t so!) saw a decline in interest in shows dealing with horror or science fiction.

Because of its rather abrupt cancellation, several plotlines were left unresolved, though the shows producers tried to compensate for this with a one minute voice-over at the end of the final episode that tied everything up with a (fairly) neat bow.

The original run of 1,225 shows never ran fully in syndication until on the Sci Fi (now SyFy) channel from 1992 to 2003 (which I also missed—I hang my head in shame).

Barnabas and the love of his life, Josette.

Besides its melding of the soap opera and monster/horror genres, DARK SHADOWS was believed to be a live production. This was because the rigorous shooting schedule often demanded one take of most scenes, so errors in dialog or continuity (wobbling sets, stagehands in the background) were left in. Fans delighted that they were seeing a “live” production, and the producers played into this belief by having a clock in an episode precisely coordinated with the clocks in one time zone—viewers of that time zone thought they were seeing events as they happened.

In 1991, the show was revived on NBC with a much more lavish budget. Ben Cross played Barnabas, and Joanna Going was Victoria Winters. Cross would later appear in movies like EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING (2004) and STAR TREK (2009). Also appearing in the revival were veterans like Roy Thinnes (THE INVADERS 1967-1968) and Barbara Steele (BLACK SUNDAY, 1960, CASTLE OF BLOOD, 1964, and SHE BEAST 1966). The coverage of the Gulf War led to the show being preempted many times, and it could never recover its footing. It was cancelled after running just three months. Plans to revive this version with this cast led to a pilot being written by Dan Curtis and Barbara Steele, but it never went forward. Another pilot with a new cast was shot in 2004 but was never picked up.

DARK SHADOWS also spawned a line of novels, a newspaper comic strip, comic books, audio plays, coloring books, View-Master reels, two board games, a jigsaw puzzle and trading cards.

DARK SHADOWS is often credited with introducing the concept of a “compassionate vampire” to a wide audience—a vampire who is troubled by his hideous appetites and longs for a cure.

DARK SHADOWS (the original series) is now available on DVD – ain’t technology wonderful?

*****

EDITOR’S NOTE:

As I mentioned briefly in the CKF review of the new DARK SHADOWS movie, I’ve been a fan of the original TV show since its initial run. Mark asked me to add some of my thoughts here, since he didn’t see DS in its first incarnation.

I remember coming home from school, eager to see the newest chapter of the Collins family (from the start, I was obsessed with all things horror and “monsters”). This must have been toward the end of the show’s run, in the early 70s, since I would have been around 7 or 8 years old. The fact that so many episodes are still so vivid in my mind is a testament to its effect on me.

Storylines I particularly remember involved Barnabas and Victoria Winters/Josette; Quentin Collins’s struggle to overcome being a werewolf (I don’t know if I’m sad or happy that the character of Quentin was left out of Tim Burton’s DARK SHADOWS movie); a FRANKENSTEIN-like storyline where a monster was being made from parts of dead people in a lab beneath a graveyard crypt; and the time-jumping episodes set in the past, where one particular Collins ancestor was involved in experiments much like the ones performed by a certain Dr. Jekyll.

Quentin and Barnabas Collins clash in a scene from the original DARK SHADOWS TV series.

For some reason, everyone of my generation who watched the show remembers it with great fondness, and I’m sure that Burton didn’t give much thought to the original show’s fans when we made his recent film version. He probably just saw the concept as something he could recreate in his own “special” way, disregarding the fact that the show still has a loyal following.

The fact that the “real” Barnabas Collins, Jonathan Frid, died recently, just makes the new movie (which I think is awful) seem all the more tragic. Ahhh, what it could have been in the right hands!

~L.L. Soares

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Remote Outpost Takes Us on a Journey Down THE RIVER!

Posted in "So Bad They're Good" Movies, 2012, Bruce Campbell, Mark Onspaugh Columns, Remote Outpost, Supernatural, SyFy Channel Movies, Television with tags Alcatraz, Alien Apocalypse, bruce campbell, Oren Peli, Paranormal Activity, Remote Outpost, Renee O'Connor, SyFy Channel Movies, The River on March 7, 2012 by knifefighter

REMOTE OUTPOST
Up THE RIVER without a you-know-what…
By Mark Onspaugh

Rivers make swell metaphors. Whether one is journeying through the life of Samuel Clemens (aka Mark Twain) in Life on the Mississippi (1883) or into hearts of darkness and minds of madness with Colonel Kurtz in APOCALYPSE NOW (1979), a river can provide all sorts of archetypes and enough nifty symbols for Carl Jung and John Campbell to go mano-a-mano, with Terrence Malick refereeing, and Freud and Fellini cheering them on.

THE RIVER is an ABC mid-season replacement series starring Bruce Greenwood (of NOWHERE MAN, 1995-96, BELOW, 2002, JOHN FROM CINCINNATI, 2007 and STAR TREK 2009). Greenwood is Dr. Emmet Cole, the much-beloved host and star of the nature series “The Undiscovered Country.” America and much of the world has grown up with the series, armchair crew members as Cole journeys across the globe with his wife Tess (Leslie Hope of 24, 2001-2002 and FAUX BABY 2008) and his son Lincoln (Joe Anderson of THE RUINS, 2008, THE CRAZIES, 2010 and THE GREY, 2012). The Coles are the perfect family, traveling to exotic places and teaching their audience about nature and ecology. The show seems very much modeled on the late Steve Irwin’s CROCODILE HUNTER (1997-2004), although silverbacks like me will recall the 60s travelogue series, THREE PASSPORTS TO ADVENTURE, with the Linker family (Hal, Halla and son David). Dr. Cole’s signature line is “There’s magic out there!”

Now son Lincoln Cole is all grown up and in med school, both worshipping his father and hating him for making their lives a televised fishbowl. His father disappeared some six months ago in the Amazon and is presumed dead, but suddenly a signal is received from a rescue beacon. An expedition to find Cole and his ship, The Magus, is put together by Tess and Emmet’s producer and friend Clark Quietly (Paul Blackthorne from one of my past favorites: THE DRESDEN FILES, 2007-2008, and THE GATES, 2010). Also aboard are son Lincoln; lovely Lena Landry, daughter of a missing cameraman (Eloise Mumford from CRASH, 2008 and LONE STAR, 2010); mechanic Emilio Valenzuela (Daniel Zacapa of SE7EN, 1995, FALLEN ANGELS , 2006 and FLASHFORWARD, 2009); his daughter Jahel (Paulina Gaitan), cameraman AJ Poulain (Shaun Parkes of the 2006 season of DR. WHO and the short-lived show, NO ORDINARY FAMILY, 2011) and Captain Kurt Brynildson (Thomas Kretschmann, who was previously in RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE, 2004, KING KONG, 2005, GRIMM LOVE, 2006 and FLASHFORWARD, 2009), whose job it is to protect everyone.

The Magus is found, seemingly empty… But a locked room is found, and inside are bloodstains and a curious carved wood artifact, which is a sort of soul catcher. After accidentally freeing and contending with a malevolent poltergeist, Lincoln recreates the ceremony his father used to trap the entity… But who or what have they caught? Is it Emmet Cole? Lena’s father? Something wholly inhuman?

In the control room are dozens of tapes with hours and hours of footage to review. For the series the Magus has been outfitted with cameras in every room and a diligent cameraman documented everything else—things on shore, in the water, in the sky, etc. Many of the tapes are unlabeled, but Lena recalls Emmet contacting her about a nasty bug bite on his hand—they use the progress of the infection to put the latest tapes in chronological order. It’s a nifty bit of detective work, but also makes us wonder why Emmet was contacting Lena instead of his wife or his son who is in medical school.

As you have surmised, THE RIVER is very much a “found footage” sort of program, the sub-genre (usually of horror) first popularized by THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999). Sometimes we see film footage as the crew reviews tapes or the cameraman is at work, other times we are privy to what the camera is filming while everyone is asleep or occupied elsewhere. If this seems familiar, one of the creators of THE RIVER is Oren Peli, director and creator of the PARANORMAL ACTIVITY franchise (2007, 2010, 2011, 2012) and Michael R. Perry, a writer of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 (also a producer on MILLENNIUM, 1996-1999 and a writer on the DEAD ZONE TV series from 2002 to 2007). Some familiar gags from PARANORMAL ACTIVITY are seen in THE RIVER: shadowy presences, things amiss that are barely glimpsed (though a DVR offers some chance for review a movie does not) and a signature effect where the video counter moves forward very quickly, and we see something transpiring over long period in just seconds. (This was especially eerie in the first PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, where the sleepwalking wife stood over her husband for something like an hour as he slept.)

Oren Peli, director of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY is one of the creators of the new ABC show THE RIVER.

In the second episode, Jahel swallowed a dragonfly which was either Emmet Cole’s soul or astral body… He warned his family to turn back, but Tess took this as proof he is alive and in need of their help. We also learned that Emmet was/is searching for the “source of real magic” somewhere far upriver, and Captain Brynildson is working for some person or group back on land who does not want that source found.

(This “source” keeps reminding me of the “golden light in a cave” from LOST, that was apparently where baby Smoke Monsters come from.)

The third episode was especially eerie. The crew is going through the jungle and discovers an ancient cemetery of European settlers/missionaries from the 1700’s. A local legend has it that a child was lost from this group, and now her ghost plagues the natives in the area. To appease her, they hang dozens of dolls in a tree… Seeing lots of creepy dolls in the jungle is bad enough, but one is the teddy bear Lincoln threw into the Indian Ocean when he felt he had outgrown it… Years ago… In an ocean which is something like 10,000 miles away at the little ghost flies. Lincoln, perhaps feeling insecure, takes the bear, which ticks the ghost girl off… So said ghost (never seen) kidnaps Tess to be her new mommy. When returning the bear doesn’t work, Lincoln finds the grave of the child’s mother and reunites the two and his mother is returned unharmed. (Why a ghost who can make dolls fall out of a tree could not find her own mother’s grave is something for Peter Venkman to discuss in a panel with Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler and Winston Zeddmore.)

Jonas "The Hanging Man" from THE RIVER.

Each episode takes us further upriver, and presumably the laws of physics and normal, everyday life will begin to break down more and more. Each episode also presents the crew dealing with a local legend or curse. I especially liked “A Better Man”, where the cameraman from Emmet’s crew is found hanged in a tree – but still alive and delirious from malaria… Turns out this fellow, named Jonas, courted some bad juju by photographing a native funeral. He did this despite Emmet telling him such things were not to be filmed, and thus ended up stealing the soul of an elder… Branded a thief by The Powers That Be, he was then doomed to become The Hanged Man, ever suffering but never dying. The legend tied in nicely with a tarot deck Jahel carries, as well as a scary folk tale Captain Brynildson’s granny used to tell him. (It also riffs on the story of Jonah and the Whale, especially when the elements threaten to tear the ship apart if Jonas isn’t given up.) The final resolution is organic and makes sense… It also presents the possibility of a romantic triangle between Lena, Lincoln and Jonas.

Show creators Peli and Perry were initially going to make THE RIVER another low-budget horror film in the vein of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, but felt they had enough ideas for a series. Steven Spielberg agreed and is exec producing. The initial order was for eight episodes, and we will be halfway through this first string with the airing of “Peaches” this week.

This certainly is the year for the supernatural on television, and more shows are on the way. But two water-based shows in the past did not fare very well, SURFACE (2005-2006) and INVASION (2005-2006). True, those shows were both science fiction, but their respective storylines were fantastic enough to reach that gray and sparkly area where SF and fantasy collide (as they did so alarmingly in KRULL, 1983). Whether THE RIVER continues beyond its initial order depends a great deal on the cast of characters. So far, the most likeable character for my money is Dr. Emmet Cole, who is only seen in flashbacks and found footage (or as a dragonfly). All of the cast are good actors, and there is good writing and direction, but I haven’t felt compelled to watch—I am more curious than caring. I know I keep touting LOST, but I would add THE X-FILES and FRINGE, as TV shows where the characters and their chemistry are a real joy to witness. People who are fully fleshed out that you care about. Part of the joy of watching a series is having a favorite character, and we who love genre TV often have a list of standouts from shows going back to childhood. It isn’t enough to be mildly curious—I can wait and read a summary on Wikipedia or ask a diehard friend. These have to be people that have an integrity, a life beyond the dimensions of the screen. For me, THE RIVER is intriguing but not yet must-viewing. I’ll definitely stay for the full eight, but beyond that… there’d better be some real magic in there.

UPDATE: ALCATRAZ has almost lost me. Again I am curious, but even the awesome Jorge Garcia is not enough to make me want to tune in… I will probably give them one more episode (maybe two) and then I may make my escape.

Two new shows I very much enjoy are GRIMM (Silas Weir Mitchell as a reformed “blut bad” or Big Bad Wolf is hilarious—he was also the crazy inmate who escaped with the rest in the first season of PRISON BREAK, 2005-2009), and LOST GIRL, which is sort of “Succubus in the City” without being annoying… Well, it can be a little annoying, but it’s also clever and sexy. Both shows have inventive new riffs on fairy tales and legends. Grimm goes into BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER territory but makes it its own, and LOST GIRL is sassy and erotic – definitely a show that many women I know like… It may be a show you can share with your significant other.

This week’s GUILTY PLEASURE: we all have them, songs, stories and television we are embarrassed to share, often disavowing them or hiding those incriminating CD’s, books and DVD’s when friends or family come to call… Then again, such fare is great if it’s just you and some friends who love cinematic cheese to go with beer, pizza and other forms of contraband.

I recently watched ALIEN APOCALYPSE (2005), an original SyFy movie made when the cable network was still Sci-Fi. Besides the title, the film stars Bruce Campbell, who is known to all genre geeks as Ash in THE EVIL DEAD (1981) and its sequels. Bruce Campbell fighting aliens? I’m in.

This is a movie Campbell pitched to Sci-Fi with buddy Josh Becker, who wrote and directed this… um, film. Campbell and his fellow astronauts have been away for forty years, and return to find the Earth overrun with insect overlords who use remaining humans as slaves and (sometimes) gourmet treats—they are especially fond of biting off a live human’s head.

So, it’s basically PLANET OF THE APES (1968) with bugs, yes? Well… not quite. Our first sign of trouble (and a low budget) is that we never see the probe Campbell and pals return to Earth in… We see something like a meteor that crashes behind a mountain and explodes. Later, Bruce, his captain and two women astronauts are making their way toward the city. (By the way, Campbell’s character is named Ivan Hood, but I will just call him Bruce – he’s freakin’ Bruce Campbell, after all.) Bruce would seem to be the ship’s doctor, but he is actually an osteopath. Why an osteopath is sent on a forty-year mission gives us a clue that this movie will be tongue-in-cheek.

If that weren’t a tip-off, then the aliens’ mission is. The aliens – bipedal insects who are as big as people – are rendered with pretty good CGI, and have green, goopy blood. Why are they here? They want Earth’s wood, which they eat (along with humans). (Need a moment to stop giggling? Okay…) They traveled here in vast ships and command energy weapons and high-tech tanks, but they have humans harvesting their tasty lumber with equipment from the turn of the century. Humans spend a lot of time loading planks onto horse-drawn wagons, all the while gagged. I thought at first the aliens were sensitive to our voices, but no explanation for the gags is given… They are not high-tech gags, just cloth affairs that would not seem out of place in the Middle Ages. Also on the cheap is the alien headquarters, which is a (bad) CGI hive made of highly flammable wood and (one supposes) bug saliva… maybe some human lymph, what do I know?

Bruce learns the President and the entire Congress is hiding in the hills, and manages to escape from the work camp. He gathers a small army and finds the President, who is too disillusioned to fight. Bruce shames him verbally and then heads back to the camp where his fellow astronaut (and love interest) Kelly awaits.

Though the aliens command a vastly superior technology, they seem perpetually surprised when attacked, standing patiently as primitive bow and arrows pierce their exoskeletons and they fall like mandibled bowling pins. In case you were worried, the President and his aged cronies show up like the Calvary at the last minute, but later all agree that Bruce is the real hero—this is confirmed by the THE ROAD WARRIOR-esque narrator who lets us know that even a lantern-jawed osteopath can sometimes fill Charlton Heston’s shoes.

It’s beyond low budget and silly, but it’s still a hoot. Some say Bruce is channeling Ash here, but he seems to me more like Sam Axe, his great character from the current series BURN NOTICE. There’s a weariness to his character that was missing from Ash, and Ash would never have become an osteopath. Plus, he never says “boomstick” or “screw-heads” – not even once.

ALIEN APOCALYPSE is touted as the highest-rated premier of a Sci-Fi movie – I am not sure if the Debbie Gibson/Tiffany P.O.S. MEGA PYTHON VS GATOROID (2011) beat that, but I’d like to think that the record of “The Chin that Saved Hollywood” is secure. It’s available on DVD and is your duty to rent, in case those cursed xylophagic xenomorphs show up!

That’s all from the Outpost this week… Next time we may finally attend SATAN’S SCHOOL FOR GIRLS, perhaps comparing and contrasting the hellish campuses from 1978 with those of 2000…

Outpost… out.

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Remote Outpost: LOST AND FOUND

Posted in 2012, JJ Abrams, Mark Onspaugh Columns, Paranormal, Remote Outpost, Supernatural, TV Shows with tags Alcatraz, Anna Silk, jj abrams, Jorge Garcia, Lost Girl, Remote Outpost, Sam Neill on February 8, 2012 by knifefighter

REMOTE OUTPOST
LOST AND FOUND: ALCATRAZ AND LOST GIRL
Television Reviews by Mark Onspaugh

(NOTE: There are some SPOILERS ahead. It’s difficult to convey the mysteries and conundrums of these shows without giving away some of the material covered in the pilots—be properly warned, ye be.)

Ah, it’s like Christmas morning here at the Outpost… Two new genre shows debuted recently and we all got our chores done early – herded in the banths, milked the vermithrax and harvested venom from all thirteen gorgons. Then, we microwaved Orville Redenbacher (I don’t mean the popcorn, laddie) and brewed some Irish coffee and huddled around the ol’ viewscreen.

The shows in question are ALCATRAZ from J.J. Abrams and (his production company) Bad Robot, and LOST GIRL, from Showcase—now on the SyFy Channel (A note of warning – if you have friends that have been watching LOST GIRL online, they are into season 2 or 3, and they are FULL of spoilers!)

To be honest, I was very excited about ALCATRAZ and was going to leave LOST GIRL in the dust. However, the Council of Elders at Cinema Knife Fight sent two hulking bruisers to my home to convince me of the error of my ways. If you think it’s easy typing with two black eyes and one unbroken finger (left pinkie), you are mistaken. Pardon me, I have to lie down as another blackout descends…

# #

I’m back. Like I said, ALCATRAZ is from J.J. Abrams (ALIAS 2001-2006, LOST 2004-2010, FRINGE, which is still on the air, and the most recent STAR TREK movie (2009)), and Bryan Burk (ALIAS, LOST, FRINGE and STAR TREK). These are, by any yardstick, heavy-duty creds. I came into LOST late into the game (Season 3) and had to do a massive marathon viewing to get up to speed. I love FRINGE and I loved LOST—even the finale so many hated, which I felt took some chances and, while maybe not entirely successful, did explain some mysteries and give us closure. So Bad Robot and company have a lot of credit with me.

The pilot starts beautifully in 1963. Coming in over the water is a major cliché these days, but here the water looked eerie, threatening. A detail bringing over more prisoners for “The Rock” finds the entire facility deserted. Prisoners, guards, civilians and families (guards lived on the island with their families) are gone. The younger guard, we come to find, is Emerson Hauser, and will grow up to be Sam Neill. Now, Sam Neill has tons of genre cred – his eyes are a’twinkle with mischief and/or malevolence. He was Damian all growed up in OMEN III: THE FINAL CONFLICT (1981), Merlin in MERLIN’S APPRENTICE (2006), Dr. Alan Grant in the JURASSIC PARK franchise (1993, 2001) and Lovecraftian protagonist John Trent in John Carpenter’s eerie IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS (1994).

Emerson is the brains behind the program to collect all the Alcatraz missing as they return. There’s lots he not telling his two cohorts, not the least of which is he has a giant, state-of-the-art prison hidden underground in the middle of the woods where he transfers captured escapees—living and dead. The doctors who attended staff and prisoners before the disappearance are either not aging or are time-traveling from 1963 to the present… And, as seen in the pilot, at least one inmate had money and fake ID’s waiting his return…

Joining Emerson is a plucky cop, Detective Rebecca Madsen, played by Sarah Jones. I thought Sarah looked familiar—she played the daughter of Adam Arkin’s American Nazi character on the FX series, SONS OF ANARCHY. Rebecca’s cases come into conflict with Emerson’s secret agenda. In fact, she had a grandfather who was a guard on Alcatraz… Rebecca soon learns that isn’t the truth, nor is the old man dead… Hell, he’s not even old. In addition, “Gramps” is often seen in the infirmary when other inmates visit, and seems to know a lot more than he should about a lot of things.

If Emerson is our brains, and Rebecca our courage, the last part of the OZ formula is supplied by Dr. Diego Soto, played by Jorge Garcia, who was so wonderful as Hurley on LOST. Dr. Soto is the world’s expert on Alcatraz, and he got his hands on lots of documents and personal effects no one else ever did. He’s also a comic book geek who owns his own store. He’s not very brave, yet is willing to risk life and limb for Rebecca or an innocent.

Sam Neill, Sarah Jones and Jorge Garcia are the stars of ALCATRAZ, the new show from JJ Abrams.

The trouble with ALCATRAZ is two-fold—its “hook” is to feature a different inmate’s return each week, and dribble in some more details on the mysteries it has laid out. While the mysteries are interesting, the criminals may not always be, and this formula may grow tired very quickly—I noticed that the second hour of the pilot seem to move much more slowly than the first. It’s early, but it hasn’t become a show I have to watch. Unlike LOST, it’s not one I feel compelled to discuss with friends. In addition, even if LOST didn’t always give us buckets of mystery every episode, the characters and their situation were compelling enough—Sawyer hogging supplies to barter with, Hurley trying to be the peace-maker, Locke and his “noble savage” abilities, etc. ALCATRAZ depends heavily on its three main characters, and so far they just haven’t been very interesting… However, I do have faith in J.J. Abrams and Bad Robot, and figure that things will heat up very quickly… My wife has given them 5 episodes… Sometimes I will stubbornly stick with a show I had faith in, wanting it to redeem itself or go down in flames (X-FILES [1993-2002] and SMALLVILLE [2001-2011] are two examples). Whether ALCATRAZ becomes “must viewing,” a guilty pleasure, or something I escape, we shall see.

# #

Apparently someone passed out a memo to television and movie execs a few months back and declared fairy tales the genre flavor of the moment. Why else have two Snow White movies, mash-ups of Red Riding Hood, Beauty and the Beast and shows like GRIMM (which I like), ONCE UPON A TIME (which I gave up on), and now LOST GIRL?

SyFy apparently read enough talkbacks to see they were becoming synonymous with cheap, laughable movies about tornados that dump alligators on galas presided over by C-list actors and has-been pop stars from the 80’s. Taking their cue from HBO and Showtime, SyFy is going for more adult programming, meaning that after 10pm one may get more mature content in the form of language, nudity and gore.

LOST GIRL is, I believe, the vanguard of this new face on the “Y” channel (really, does anyone prefer “SyFy” to “SciFi” that capitalized on the fact that the latter contains “if”?). Our heroine is Bo, played by Anna Silk. Bo is a beautiful woman with a terrible secret – she is capable of seducing anyone with a mere touch and feeds off their life-force. She is, in fact, a succubus, one of the many species of Fae, or Faerie Folk. The Fae live in our world and may even hold jobs as cops or teachers or that peculiar goat-footed balloon salesman in the park. Somehow Bo has escaped the notice of the Fae until now. Her undoing is helping Kenzi, a pickpocket and thief played by Ksenia Solo. Bo sees Kenzi has been “rufied” and can’t help getting her out of a jam –plus the would-be rapist is a tasty snack. Enter two cops to the crime scene who are actually Fae: Dyson, a sort of werewolf or shape-shifter and Detective Hale, whose singing can make one forget or do his bidding. Dyson is played by Kris Holden-Reid (UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING, 2012) and Hale by K.C. Collins. Dyson has taken an interest in Bo, and seems impervious to her succubus energy-sucking, so romantic possibilities are in the offing…

The cast of the Syfy Channel series, LOST GIRL.

Rounding out the cast are Zoie Palmer (DEVIL, 2010) as Lauren, a human doctor who knows about the Fae and how to treat them (and who is noticeably attracted to Bo) and Richard Howland as Trick, a gnome or little Fae (leprechaun?) who runs the only Fae bar in town—a place that is neutral ground for Dark and Light. Trick is the character who seems most familiar with whatever prophecy involves Bo.

In the pilot, Bo was introduced to the Fae and found out they are divided into Dark and Light. She was set against two nasty creatures as a test, then, once she survived, told she must choose between Dark or Light. Bo chose neither, wanting instead to stay a part of humanity. This did not go over well with any of the Elder Fae, but also seems in keeping with a prophecy of a very powerful Fae either uniting or wiping out the whole Fae race.

Bo and her plucky human sidekick have taken up residence together, and have formed a sort of Fae X-FILES—they investigate strange and weird crimes with the intent of helping people, and Bo hopes to learn more about her Fae parents, who apparently abandoned her when she was a baby.

Anna Silk plays Bo in the new series, LOST GIRL.

LOST GIRL is a bit of a cross between BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1997-2003) and the aforementioned GRIMM, with plenty of wise-cracking and clever riffs on old tales and well-known characters from legend, folklore and fairy tales. It’s nice to have a female protagonist who is not only attractive but confident in her sexuality, and her flirting with Dyson is a nice spin on the old “beauty and the beast” trope. My wife loves this show, and several of our female friends love it, as well—both for the wisecracking Kenzi and the “dreamy” wolf Dyson. I’m more a fan of the Blut Bad (Big Bad Wolf) in GRIMM, but I was a big fan of BUFFY—it’s doubtful this will reach Joss Whedon inventiveness or greatness, but one can always hope…

# #

NEXT UP: Just started watching a terrific new miniseries from the BBC called THE FADES, and will be watching the premiere of THE RIVER, a new ABC series from Oren Peli (director of the 2007 hit movie, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY and AREA 51, now in post-production) and exec produced by Zack Estrin, who co-exec produced PRISON BREAK (2005-2009), another show I stayed with until the very end, long after it had left the twin cities of Rhyme and Reason far behind… But oh, those characters!

Well, gotta go—we’ve got mutants in the sand pit again, and no amount of D-Con or poisoned crackers keeps them at bay. They are hell on the lawn and my guests, leaving little tell-tale antennae sticking out the back of folks’ necks, and making them all cranky and anti-social and cannibalistic in the bargain.

See you next time. Outpost… out.

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REMOTE OUTPOST – 12 FOR 2012

Posted in 2011, Best Of Lists, Ghosts!, Mark Onspaugh Columns, Remote Outpost, Science Fiction, Television with tags Alcatraz, American Horror Story, Best of 2011, Boardwalk Empire, Grimm, Luck, Person of Interest, Prime Suspect, Remote Outpost, Television on January 11, 2012 by knifefighter

REMOTE OUTPOST… 12 FOR 2012
By Mark Onspaugh

Those who haven’t given up on me in disgust will remember I did a Fall preview back in September. Of the nine genre shows I previewed, I am only continuing to watch three… I guess 33.33% isn’t bad, but I am jonesing for some good science fiction on the order of STAR TREK, STARGATE: UNIVERSE or CAPRICA… I may get my wish on that one in January.

So here is a dozen faves that we all support here in the Remote Outpost:

TOP 3 GENRE SHOWS THAT PREMIERED THIS PAST FALL

PERSON OF INTEREST—the closest you will get to a live-action Batman series. The cast is amazing, especially the stars Jim Caviezel and Michael Emerson. You’ll never find them, but if your number comes up, they will find you.

AMERICAN HORROR STORY—who gave up on GLEE? We did, just couldn’t take it any more (it’s become like the parody on COMMUNITY). I didn’t think a horror show by the creators of that singing infestation would work, but it is compelling, scary and thought-provoking. The season ender was really amazing, and I hope we spend a lot more time in “The Murder House” with the Harmons and their not-so-friendly ghosts.

GRIMM—I lost interest in ONCE UPON A TIME, but GRIMM is like Buffy the Vampire Slayer was—fun. It may not be as smartly written (not everyone is Joss Whedon), but it is inventive and has its own compelling mythology. And Silas Weir Mitchell as a reformed “blut bad” (“Big Bad Wolf”) is hilarious.

TOP 1 NON-GENRE SHOW THAT PREMIERED THIS FALL

PRIME SUSPECT—I read someone didn’t find Maria Bello convincing as a tough, Irish New York cop—she is. The men in her department think she slept her way up to detectives. They’ve learned to respect her toughness and her instincts, but there is still plenty of resentment and conflict. Good stuff

TOP SITCOM THAT PREMIERED THIS FALL

NEW GIRL—we just couldn’t stomach WHITNEY, but NEW GIRL often makes me laugh out loud. I know a lot of you will find Zooey Deschanel annoying, but the writing for her roommates and her boyfriend (Justin Long) is funny… Not MODERN FAMILY or COMMUNITY funny, but worth a half hour of our time.

TOP PILOT THAT PREVIEWED BEFORE THE SERIES PREMIERE

LUCK—the new series from David Milch, who created and wrote the awesome DEADWOOD and JOHN FROM CINCINNATI. This one is centered around horse racing and stars Dustin Hoffman (you heard me) and Nick Nolte (you heard me). The show looks to be another Milch masterwork of Shakespearean drama with complex characters in a complicated world. Yes.

MOST EAGERLY AWAITED PREMIERE

ALCATRAZ—less than a month away for the new JJ Abrams show that is produced by LOST alumni. Sam Neill is our guide to the prison where, forty years ago, all the inmates disappeared… Now they are returning and wreaking havoc. I would be tempted to dismiss this as another THE 4400, but Abrams always turns things on their ear. I want another LOST-type show, don’t you? Yeah, even if you didn’t like the way it ended, you enjoyed the ride.

SHOW WITH THE BIGGEST JAW-DROPPING FINALE

BOARDWALK EMPIRE—this show continues to amaze. The attention to period detail, the drama of Prohibition leading to organized crime and the heroin trade… It’s superb. Steve Buscemi and company can’t return fast enough… If you watched the season ender you are, like us, saying “Damn! Now what?”

MOST EAGERLY AWAITED WINTER RETURN

JUSTIFIED—if you aren’t watching this show with Timothy Olyphant as a U.S. Marshall in Kentucky dealing with various outlaws and criminal types, you should be. I have a feeling the new season is going to deal with the “Dixie Mafia,” and methinks they are not stupid, inbred trailer trash. Justified presents an honest portrayal of mountain folk, good and bad. Plus, an amazing cast including Walton Goggins as best frenemy Boyd Crowder. Watch it, ya hear?

TOP SHOWS WE WANT TO RETURN

TRUE BLOOD—Alan Ball’s twisted and amazing version of Charlaine Harris’s “Sookie Stackhouse” novels. Great characters and tremendous mythology… And no twinkly vampires!

FRINGE—not many of you are watching this, but it fills that void left when THE X-FILES went south. Compelling and weird, and a hell of a lot of fun. If you haven’t ever watched, try the first season on DVD.

SONS OF ANARCHY—Hamlet on motorcycles. Kurt Sutter is another man who brings compelling drama to a world we may not be familiar with, but surely exists.

BONUS BAKER’S DOZEN ENTRY

BREAKING BAD—amazing. One season left to go in the disastrous decline of a chemisty teacher turned meth cook turned criminal mastermind… Lots of tension in this one, folks.

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Archive for Remote Outpost

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