ray stevenson |

Archive for ray stevenson

G.I. JOE: RETALIATION (2013)

Posted in 2013, 3-D, Action Movies, All-Star Casts, Based on a Toy, Bruce Willis Films, Cinema Knife Fights, Criminal Masterminds, Kung Fu!, Michael Arruda Reviews with tags Action Movies, adrianne palicki, bruce willis, Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson, G.I. Joe, Jonathan Pryce, Ray Park, ray stevenson, Retaliation on April 2, 2013 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: G. I. JOE: RETALIATION (2013)
By Michael Arruda

(THE SCENE: A toy store. MICHAEL ARRUDA is in the Action Figure aisle checking out some vintage G. I. Joe action figures.)

MICHAEL ARRUDA: These toys bring back memories. (Holds up an action figure with fuzzy hair.) Here’s one of my favorites: G. I. Joe with life-like hair and Kung Fu grip. I don’t know why these toys were so cool—there’s not much to distinguish them from other action figures—but when I was a kid, they were the best. I think it was all the accessories that came with them.

Anyway, welcome to CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT. Today I’m reviewing G.I JOE: RETALIATION (2013), so there’s a reason I’m visiting this vintage toy store today. See, this film was produced in association with Hasbro toys, and it plays that way. Like other toy tie-ins (such as last year’s BATTLESHIP) G. I. JOE just doesn’t cut it as a movie. It has about as much depth and conflict as one of these toys.

G. I. JOE TOY: Hey, I have depth and conflict!

MA: Wow! It talks! I don’t remember the G. I. JOE toys talking when I was a kid, but anyway, glad to have you here with me. I could use the company, since L.L. SOARES is off on another assignment.

And you’re right. You toys can have depth and conflict, when a kid is playing with you, using his or her imagination, and today’s movie could have had depth and conflict too, if it cared at all about telling a genuine story, which it obviously doesn’t.

G.I. JOE: So, you didn’t like the latest movie about me?

MA: Well, it’s not really about you, per se.

G.I. JOE RETALIATION is a sequel to G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF THE COBRA (2009) which clearly was one of the worst movies I saw that year, yet supposedly it made a ton of money, and the events in RETALIATION follow the events in COBRA. Unfortunately, while there are fleeting references to characters and events from the previous movie, the assumption seems to be that the audience is so familiar with these characters and events that we know them well and, as such, we care for these folks already. Sorry to say, that’s the wrong assumption.

G. I. JOE RETALIATION opens with the “Joes” defending the freedom of America by travelling to Pakistan to secure a nuclear bomb that’s about to fall into enemy hands. The unit is led by young hot shot, Duke (Channing Tatum), who when he’s not saving the world, trades humorous barbs with his best buddy, veteran soldier Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson).

This all changes when the Joes are ambushed, and only Roadblock and two young soldiers Flint (D.J. Cotrona) and Jaye (Adrianne Palicki) survive. It turns out that the ambush was ordered by the President of the United States (Jonathan Pryce) who doesn’t seem to be himself lately. That’s because the real president has been kidnapped, and in his place is the Joes’ arch enemy Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), who conveniently and inexplicably has the power to shapeshift, so he looks exactly like the president.

Zartan’s dastardly plan involves ridding the world of nuclear weapons so he can have complete control over it.

(The door to the toy store opens and in pops Adam West as Batman)

BATMAN: That EVIL CRIMINAL!

MA: Holy Hasbro, Batman! What are you doing here?

BATMAN: What any good citizen should be doing on a Saturday. Shopping for toys for Gotham’s underprivileged children. I see you are busy reviewing a movie. I’ll come back another time.

MA: Don’t leave on my account. I can review a movie while you’re here shopping.

BATMAN: Thank you, citizen. (BATMAN exits into another room of the store.)

MA: Back to G.I. JOE. Roadblock decides his little unit needs help, and so he turns to the retired General Joe Colton (Bruce Willis) for assistance. Together, they come up with a plan to take down the evil Zartan and rescue the president, before Zartan can succeed with his plan to take over the world.

BATMAN (from other room): Has he no shame?

MA: Meanwhile, there’s also a subplot involving Asian rivals Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) who battle it out under the watchful supervision of the wise Blind Master (RZA).

And thrown in for good measure, there’s also the crazy and evil Firefly (Ray Stevenson) who gets to cause all kinds of mayhem in support of his boss Zartan.

Since this is a G.I. JOE movie, there’s no surprise which side wins here.

G.I. JOE: RETALIATION is a sad excuse for a movie that unfortunately is part of the growing trend of movies that look good but have no story. Visually, these movies are striking, slick and polished, but they’re ruined by poor writing, done in by weak dialogue, tired overused plot elements, and a clear lack of clarity when it comes to storytelling. In short, the writing sucks.

See, we’ve reached the point where movies can be so impressive based on visuals alone that, for some filmmakers, the art of storytelling is secondary and oftentimes nonexistent. G.I JOE: RETALIATION is one such movie.

It looks great, it has above average action sequences, it boasts a talented cast, but if you’ve seen the RESIDENT EVIL movies, the TWILIGHT series, or films like BATTLESHIP, you know what to expect from G.I. JOE. All fluff and no substance, shallow cardboard characters, deplorable dialogue, and boredom the likes of which moviegoers should never be subjected to. It’s cruel and unusual punishment.

There’s no reason in the world why this couldn’t be an excellent movie. Look at its cast, for instance. Now, I’m not a big fan of Dwayne Johnson, but the guy does have an agreeable screen persona. He should be a likeable lead. But he’s lost here, directionless, reduced to being nothing more than a walking talking toy.

G.I. JOE: I think I’ve just been insulted.

MA: Bruce Willis is stuck in a thankless supporting role, and he’s done this thing so many times before (heck, in this year alone he’s done it a bunch of times!) he might as well be asleep. He offers nothing new or refreshing to his role here.

I love Jonathan Pryce, and he once again makes for a decent villain, this time as the President of the United States, but he’s mired saying such clichéd lines he sounds like he belongs in an AUSTIN POWERS movie. And if you can believe Jonathan Pryce as President of the United States, you’re a better man than me.

Current hunk and heartthrob Channing Tatum is barely in this one at all, meeting his demise early on in the film. Even so, you still have Byung-hun Lee from I SAW THE DEVIL (2010), Ray Stevenson—who, in spite of the dreadful script, still manages to entertain as Firefly—and RZA.

D.J. Cotrona is fine and believable as Flint, and Adrianne Palicki is very good as Jaye. It also doesn’t hurt that she’s an absolute knockout.

But the script here by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick is horrible. Before we even get to the story, we have to get by the names of the characters—Roadblock, Storm Shadow, Firefly, Duke, Snake Eyes, Blind Master. They sound like X-Men rejects.

The actual story is ludicrous. Zartan’s plot for world domination is about as believable as Caesar Romero as the Joker. It also suffers from a lack of details. For example, Zartan shapeshifts to look exactly like the President of the United States. How? That would be a pertinent piece of information to relay to the audience, don’t you think? To be fair, it is mentioned in one brief scene, but blink and you miss it. I guess the thinking is, who cares about such details when the movie looks so good. Well, I care because I want to enjoy the movie. It’s like saying Superman got his powers from another planet, and then leaving it at that. What planet? How did he get these powers? What’s his story?

I found myself asking that question throughout this movie. What’s his story? What’s her story? What’s this movie about? The answers weren’t provided.

Now, Reese and Wernick wrote the screenplay for ZOMBIELAND (2009). There’s no comparison between these two movies. ZOMBIELAND was creative and edgy, while G.I. JOE: RETALIATION is mind-numbing and childish.

It’s rated PG-13, yet clearly plays like a PG movie. When I saw it, the theater was filled with young kids, many of them under 10. That’s about the right age level for this movie.

Director Jon M. Chu has made a very good-looking movie, but a movie without a story just isn’t good enough. Sure, there are some neat action sequences, especially a really cool mountaintop chase scene. But if I don’t care about these characters, if I don’t know why the hell they’re doing what they’re doing, the end result is it’s like I’m watching a really cool video game. It’s not a movie.

And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, G.I. JOE is in 3D. I chose not to see it in 3D, and I doubt 3D effects would have made this movie any better. It stunk quite nicely in 2D, thank you very much.

G.I. JOE: RETALIATION was a complete waste of my time. Admittedly, it’s a slick looking production, and it’s teeming with talented actors, but the story is so horribly boring I was ready to leave the theater midway through the film.

I give it one and a half knives.

You’d be better off purchasing one of these vintage G. I. Joe toys and setting it up on a shelf in your den. In fact, looking at one of these toys for two hours might provide more mental stimulation than watching G.I. JOE: RETALIATION. At least your imagination would be free to engage.

G.I. JOE: Thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment.

MA: You’re welcome.

G.I. JOE: Hey, do you think I can get a part in the next G.I. JOE movie?

MA: The next G.I. JOE movie? Don’t make me ill.

Okay, folks, that’s it for now. L.L. Soares will be back next week, and he and I will be here with a review of another new movie.

—END—

Michael Arruda gives G.I. JOE: RETALIATION ~one and a half knives!

THE BOOK OF ELI

Posted in 2010, Cinema Knife Fights, Post-Apocalypse Movies with tags a boy and his dog, book of eli, cannibals, denzel washington, gary oldman, mila kunis, movie, post-apocalypse, ray stevenson, the road on January 18, 2010 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT : THE BOOK OF ELI (2009)
by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

(FADE IN)

(The Scene: a dusty western town. There are some people walking around, but it’s pretty sparse. MICHAEL ARRUDA and LL SOARES stand in front of a saloon, dusting off their clothes)

MA: It sure is dirty around here.

LS: That’s the apocalypse for you.

MA: I know. Isn’t it awful? (Unbuttons top button of his shirt and sprays his underarms with a bottle of blue window cleaner.)

LS: There are so many post-apocalyptic movies lately. How many ways can you watch the world end?

MA: That’s a good point, and I was thinking about that while watching the movie. What is it these days with these movies? Do people really think it’s all going to tank in 2012? Is that why moviemakers are making so many of these flicks now, because they think it’s on people’s minds? Is this a subgenre that’s making lots of money right now? I don’t get it.

LS: You’d think the Cold War was back. It’s the 1950s all over again!

UNSEEN NARRATOR: Duck and cover!

(There is a sudden explosion and a mushroom cloud in the distance)

MA (Watches cloud): Very pretty. Anyway, why don’t you get us started about today’s movie?

LS: This time around, we’re reviewing the new Denzel Washington movie, THE BOOK OF ELI. As you might remember from our “January Preview” column, I wasn’t too thrilled about the trailer for this one. It reminded me too much of another recent film, THE ROAD. And, while you can’t always judge a movie by its trailer, this time around, it pretty much lived down to my expectations.

THE ROAD, which came out late last year, starring Viggo Mortensen, was based on Cormac McCarthy’s best-selling novel. It’s the story of a man and his young son, traveling along a main road after the world has come to an end. They’re seeking warmer climates, and the man has made it his mission to protect the boy with his life.

In THE BOOK OF ELI, it’s a very similar storyline, except, instead of protecting a child with his life, Denzel Washington’s character, Eli, is protecting a mysterious book with his life.

(A humanoid ALIEN with a large head pops up)

ALIEN: It’s a cookbook!

LS: Wrong movie (shoos the ALIEN away)

Okay, so Denzel’s character is a post-apocalyptic warrior, traveling alone, trying to stay alive in a world gone mad. He comes across desperate feral people, who might just want to eat him (also very much like THE ROAD), but he’s more than capable of taking care of himself. Between his lightning-fast reflexes, his guns, and his big old knife, he seems to be able to make mincemeat of whole gangs of vicious men pretty easily. It’s basically Denzel as a cross between a samurai and the Terminator.

In fact, comparing him to the Japanese samurai character ZATOICHI (who appeared in a whole series of movies) is pretty apt.

MA: Zatoichi? Sounds like a squash.

LS: If you don’t know who he is, you should look it up.

MA (flipping through pages of a book): I will fight to protect this information……Maybe.

LS: When he comes upon a town in the middle of nowhere, it’s very reminiscent of a town from the Old West – which brings us to yet another influence. Eli doesn’t say his name until late in the movie, and for awhile, he plays it like the Man With No Name, that iconic figure Clint Eastwood portrayed in those old Sergio Leone spaghetti westerns.

As far as Eli is concerned, he’s just passing through. But once the town’s boss man, Carnegie (Gary Oldman) finds out that he can read, and that he has a book with him, things get complicated. Carnegie has been having his thugs scour the surrounding area for a certain book for a while now, killing other survivors without a second thought. When Carnegie hears about Eli’s special book, he’s sure it’s what he’s been looking for.

But Eli is not going to just give it up. He’s on a quest. And this town is not his destiny.

So there you have the basic conflict of the movie. Oldman wants the book. Denzel has no intention of letting him have it. Oldman has a gang of murderous henchmen on his side, led by Redridge (Ray Stevenson from PUNISHER WAR ZONE). Denzel has his wits and his weapons. Who’s going to win?

There are also a couple of women in the mix. Jennifer Beals plays Claudia, who at first appears to be Carnegie’s lover, but who is actually more like his prisoner. She’s beautiful, but blind, and he controls her through her daughter Solara (Mila Kunis), who works in the local saloon (she’s the one who fills up Eli’s canteen with water when he first comes to town).

When Solara is sent to Eli’s room to seduce him (he refuses, since he is celibate, but instead they talk all night, and emotionally he ends up seducing her in a way), this begins a friendship that leads to her eventually becoming his traveling companion and his helper in his quest.

Denzel is pretty much a solid actor in whatever he’s in. And he is believable here as a character who is harder than nails when he needs to be, but he also has that vulnerable side women love so much. While he does what he can, it’s a pretty limited role that doesn’t give him a lot to play with.

MA: Yes, Denzel Washington is one of those actors who I believe could star in pretty much any movie and make it worth seeing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him deliver a poor performance. I’d pretty much see him in anything at this point, and I guess I’m not alone, as I was just reading an article recently that named him as one of the country’s most popular actors.

Anyway, regarding the movie THE BOOK OF ELI, which I also found to be a mixed bag, he’s by far the best part of the film and the only part that makes it worth seeing.

LS: There are a lot of good British actors in the cast, as well. Like Gary Oldman (Sid Vicious himself from SID AND NANCY (1986), although most people these days would know him as Commissioner Gordon from the recent Christopher Nolan BATMAN movies) plays the main bad guy, and I’ve thought Ray Stevenson was great since his performances on HBO’s ROME and in the very enjoyable PUNISHER WAR ZONE. There’s even a fun scene with Michael Gambon (a really gifted actor who starred in the original BBC version of THE SINGING DETECTIVE (1986) and Peter Greenaway’s classic, THE COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE AND HER LOVER (1989), but who is probably best known now as Dumbledore in those HARRY POTTER flicks) who, along with Frances de la Tour, play a couple named George and Martha who take Eli and Solara in, but they don’t necessarily have the best of intentions. You see their hands shake a lot – and in this movie, that means they eat human meat.

Even Malcolm McDowell (A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, CALIGULA, and he played Dr. Loomis in Rob Zombie’s recent HALLOWEEN films) shows up toward the end as a white-haired old librarian.

Beals, a good actress, does what she can with the thankless role of a constant victim. Kunis is the wild card. I couldn’t tell if she was good here or not. She’s very wide-eyed and has charisma onscreen; at times she almost reminded me of a young Angelina Jolie. At the same time, she seemed way too clean and normal for this movie. The world has come to an end. Everyone is filthy and struggling to survive. She just looks too well-fed and too normal for the world around her.While I liked her, I found her character distracting, because she just didn’t seem like she belonged in this movie.

MA: I completely agree. I thought the cast was terrific. Gary Oldman is another actor I almost always enjoy, and he’s excellent in this movie as well, though at times I detected he was doing a Jack Nicholson impersonation. I thought Ray Stevenson provided strong support as the major henchman in the movie, and he gave the guy a human element often missing in these kinds of roles. I liked Beals, and unlike you, I thought Mila Kunis was strong throughout. I thought she looked just fine, and then some! Her acting was pretty good too! Actually, her acting was very good.

And Malcolm McDowell, in spite of going for the Albert Einstein look, was more enjoyable here in his few minutes onscreen than in either of the two new HALLOWEEN movies.

(MICHAEL MYERS pops up behind them. Lifts knife above LS’s head.)

LS: It wasn’t me. He’s the guy knocking your new movies (points to MA).

(MYERS lifts knife over MA’s head.)

MA (Opens arms in a sympathetic gesture and speaks with a British accent): Michael, Michael, what are you doing? Put the knife down.

(Addresses audience) I’m sorry. Couldn’t help myself. I’m just doing my Malcolm McDowell Dr. Loomis impersonation.

(Back to MYERS) Seriously, Michael, don’t take it personally. It’s just business. I loved your original movies, and if you make another one that’s better than the last two, I’ll be the first to congratulate you. Thanks for being on the show. Here’s a gift card from Kitchens & Things so you can go pick out some new kitchen cutlery. (MYERS exits).

LS: I thought the soundtrack by Atticus Ross was pretty good. Most of it is a percussive, synthesizer-driven theme that recurs throughout the movie, and is very effective. I also thought the cinematography by Don Burgess was pretty good, and features some long, painterly panning shots – including one that opens the movie.

What I didn’t like that much was the story.

(Fireworks explode overhead, multi-colored lights flash all around, loud bells and whistles roar, and MA is wearing a tacky jacket and top hat, decked out like a carnival master.)

LS: What the hell?

MA: You’ve won the jackpot my friend: THE BOOK OF ELI has no story. (Hands LS a stuffed Teddy Bear with fangs.) Bring it home to the kiddies.

LS: Gee, thanks.

MA: Watch out. It bites.

LS: Sweet!

MA (Back in his regularly clothes): Yes, I agree, by far, the weakest part of THE BOOK OF ELI was the story. You’d think in a movie where the major plot point involved a book, the screenplay would be somewhat more literate! I was hugely disappointed with the story.

LS: First off, there’s not much original about it. Aside from being obviously influenced by THE ROAD, the use of oversized vehicles and an anarchic society is straight out of THE ROAD WARRIOR (1981).

MA: I’m glad you mentioned THE ROAD WARRIOR, because that was a movie that roared with excitement. THE BOOK OF ELI grunts, even growls, but it never roars.

LS: At least one of its influences is worn on its sleeve, though. When Denzel stays overnight in the town (He doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter), there’s a poster on the wall of A BOY AND HIS DOG (directed by L.Q. Jones in 1975), based on Harlan Ellison’s classic novella, which was the first time I ever saw this kind of post-apocalyptic, cannibal-filled wasteland that seems to be copied by every post-apocalypse film since.

(A MUTT walks over to them)

MUTT: Why thank you for the plug, Albert.

LS: Anytime, Blood.

(MUTT lifts his leg and pees on Michael’s pants leg)

MA: Hey! What the hell? I oughta— if you weren’t a dog—.

MUTT: If I weren’t a dog, I wouldn’t have peed on your leg.

MA (chews it over): Why, that’s true. (Removes his pants to reveal his tacky carnival pants underneath). I knew these would come in handy.

LS: When Denzel’s book is revealed, it’s not a surprise – you can figure out early on that it’s the Bible – and it’s just not believable that there would only be on copy left in the world. Denzel’s character chatters on about everyone burning the books after the apocalypse because some people blamed what happened on it. But that’s very hard to swallow. The Bible is the most printed book ever. There are billions of them, and suddenly they’re all gone and there’s only one left? This just seemed like a hokey premise to me. Once the book is revealed, the whole movie seems to skip a groove. And skip, and skip.

Oldman’s character wants to use the book to control the masses (Ah, the spirit of televangelists isn’t dead in the future!) Denzel’s character has a mission from God to bring it somewhere west where it will be revered and protected. He knows this because, as he explains, a voice inside him tells him so.

The results toward the end (including a surprise twist about Eli), where the book finally gets to where it “belongs,” reminded me a bit of the ending of Francois Truffaut’s (and Ray Bradbury’s) FARENHEIT 451 (1966).

The very last scenes, though, seemed like an action-movie afterthought, especially Mila’s last scenes. And they really didn’t belong here. The ending should have been more powerful and less by the numbers.

The direction by the Hughes Brothers (who also gave us movies like DEAD PRESIDENTS and FROM HELL) is serviceable but unremarkable. The fight scenes are well done, but there’s nothing particularly poignant or awe-inspiring here.

Save your money and see THE ROAD, ROAD WARRIOR or A BOY AND HIS DOG instead. If you’re going to see a post-apocalyptic movie, at least see a good one.

MA: I agree, though because of the presence of Denzel Washington, I may have liked it more than you.

Without him in the movie, I think I’d be saying THE BOOK OF ELI features a strong cast led by Gary Oldman, but that none of these players could carry the movie, which would be true, since it’s a flawed film. Denzel Washington is strong enough to carry this movie, and he does.

You mentioned the Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns, and I think that’s an excellent comparison, because for a large part of this movie, that’s how it plays. Eastwood used to carry those films, and Denzel carries this one, but there’s one major difference, and that is, the stories in those westerns were a helluva lot better than the story in this movie. Not only that, but those films featured exciting endings. The climax here is a dud. I think it’s the worst part of the movie. The ending falls completely flat.

The fight sequences are first rate. The “Put that hand on me again, and you’re not going to get it back” scene which is shown in all the trailers, really worked for me, especially since a key scene of violence is excluded in the trailer. The fight in the bar, and the confrontation at the elderly couple’s house are also topnotch scenes. Sure, these scenes are filmed flawlessly, but they mostly work because of Denzel Washington’s performance. He has the neat gift of making the unbelievable believable. What he does in these scenes is completely impossible, yet I believed that he could do it.

However, in a post-apocalyptic story like this I expected something more memorable than just exciting fight scenes. There’s nothing in the way of superior stunts, like in THE ROAD WARRIOR, nothing that lifts the action above the fray and makes it special.

While I liked the look of the movie, it certainly didn’t blow me away. Basically, THE BOOK OF ELI presents unimpressive visuals that looked good. Roads and bridges look the way you might expect them to look after the apocalypse, but by the time we get to San Francisco, at the end of the movie, where we finally have a chance to see an impressive visual – what post-apocalyptic San Francisco might look like – the film falters. The city looks fake and disappointing.

Movies like AVATAR, DISTRICT 9, and WATCHMEN all had more impressive visual images in them than anything we see in THE BOOK OF ELI.

But by far the weakest part of the movie is its story. I never got the sense of why the book was so important. Denzel is going to fight to protect it, and Gary Oldman wants it so he can become more powerful, but so what? Nothing in the movie convinces me that the book is what they claim it to be. It’s all flat and uninspiring. I didn’t see THE ROAD, but a story about a man fighting to protect his son sounds a helluva lot more compelling than protecting a book.

Now, in terms of the book being The Bible, I get it, and I understand the importance of saving it, but the film doesn’t do a good job of getting this feeling across. I get it because I know what the Bible is, not because of what happens in the movie. Intellectually, I appreciated this story. I enjoyed following Eli’s journey west to fulfill his destiny because it was an admirable thing to do, but in a story like this, I don’t think “intellectually” is what the filmmakers were going for. I want to feel this emotionally. I want to be moved and feel that if Eli fails, it would be a horrible thing, but I never really felt that way. I wasn’t moved emotionally by this film, and I think it’s because the story was so dull. They might as well have been fighting over a pair of shoes.

LS: That’s a very good point.

MA: THE BOOK OF ELI seems like an excuse to feature Denzel Washington kicking butt. Now, it’s highly entertaining to watch Denzel Washington kick butt, but as a whole package, the film fails to impress.

Still, you gotta like Denzel, and I do. So, see it to see Denzel Washington. He carries this movie, and for that reason alone, I think it’s worth seeing.

LS: I like Denzel Washington, too, and he’s obviously the best thing in it. But I don’t recommend it. If you gotta see it, wait to rent the DVD. This is not a movie you need to pay a ticket price for.

(LS and MA realize that while they’ve been talking, a group of vicious-looking thugs have formed a circle around them)

LS: Looks like it’s time for Michael and me to kick some butt. See you next time!

(One of the thugs picks his nose.)

MA: Hey, you put that finger in there again, you’re not going to get it back.

—END—

2 Comments »

PUNISHER WAR ZONE!

Posted in 2008, Cinema Knife Fights, Comic Book Movies with tags 2008, frank castle, guns and ammo, jigsaw, kick-ass movies, marvel comics, movie, punisher, ray stevenson on January 8, 2010 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: PUNISHER WAR ZONE
By Michael Arruda & L. L. Soares

(The scene is a dark alleyway in a bad part of town. MICHAEL ARRUDA meets L.L. SOARES there at midnight next to a large green dumpster).

MA: So why did I have to meet you here?

LS: Because of the ambience! We’re reviewing the new Punisher movie after all!

(On the dumpster, there is a sticker that reads “Please do not dump human remains here.”)

MA: Oh yeah, speaking of which, what did you think of PUNISHER WAR ZONE?

LS: Excuse me a minute.

(LS whips out a revolver and takes a shot at a head peeking around the corner at them)

LS: Rats! Missed!

(Behind LS, a man stumbles away with blood spurting from his head in every direction)

MA: I don’t think you mi— never mind.

LS: Okay, well, PUNISHER WAR ZONE is actually the third movie featuring the Marvel Comics character Frank Castle, also known as the vigilante The Punisher. The first film, back in 1989 was called THE PUNISHER and starred Dolph Lundgren as Castle and Louis Gossett Jr. It was a B-level action movie that bore hardly any resemblance to the comic book character at all (Lundgren didn’t even wear the Punisher’s trademark skull logo on his chest, and that’s the only semblance of a “costume” the character has!) and it was pretty lame. I kind of don’t even consider the Lundgren version to be a real Punisher movie.

MA: You’re not alone. I remember when the Lundgren film came out, and what little hype there was at the time was all about Lundgren himself (fresh off his villainous boxer portrayal in ROCKY IV, he was being billed as the next action hero.) Nary a word was spoken about Marvel comics.

LS: Then in 2004, we got another movie called THE PUNISHER. This was one of those “reboots” where they tried to resurrect the franchise. It was a more expensive movie, more deserving of the character, and actor Thomas Jane was actually decent as Castle. They even had some scenes that were taken from Garth Ennis’s acclaimed run on the comic. But this version was pretty bad, too, mainly due to a weak script and the fact that the main villain (a generic mob boss named Howard Saint, played by John Travolta) totally sucked. A hero is only as interesting as his villains, and in the second version of THE PUNISHER, Thomas Jane really had nobody worthwhile to play off against, so the movie failed on a lot of levels, which was sad.

Now we get PUNISHER WAR ZONE, named after one of several spin-off comics from the original Punisher series. This time around, we get real characters from the comics (including Castle’s “sidekick” Micro (played by Wayne Knight here – Newman from SEINFELD!!)– who in the comics was a computer hacker, but who here is more of an arms supplier), as well as a bonafide comic book villain who has tangled with the Punisher several times, named Jigsaw (and no, he’s not the guy from SAW, this Jigsaw came way before that guy!)

A few things to note about PUNISHER WAR ZONE. The first thing is the casting. This time around, Frank Castle is played by Ray Stevenson. Some of you may remember him as the terrific Titus Pullo from HBO’s amazing series ROME. Stevenson is big and intimidating, and a very physical actor. He’s perfect for playing Frank Castle. And then we have Dominic West (who played Detective Jimmy McNulty on another great HBO series, THE WIRE), who is terrific as Jigsaw, a character who starts out as vain mobster Billy “the Beaut” Russoti, a guy who is so taken with himself he is always looking in the mirror. Billy gets chopped up in a glass recycling machine by the Punisher and somehow lives. His patchwork, Frankenstein-looking new self is hungry for the Punisher’s blood. When either Stevenson or West (or both) are onscreen, it’s like nobody else is even there. They’re that good.

MA: I thought Jigsaw’s make-up was one of the better aspects of the movie. His face is a complete mess, nauseating to look at it, (looks at LS) but enough about you.

(LS smiles sarcastically and whips out revolver. Fires at MA who dodges the bullet.)

LS (snapping fingers): Missed again! I need to put in some time at the firing range.

(There is a cry, and from above a body falls with a thud into the dumpster.)

LS: And Jigsaw’s not alone, he’s got a psycho brother named James, better known in mob circles as Loony Bin Jim (Doug Hutchinson), who isn’t above ripping out a man’s kidney and eating it right in front of him. Jigsaw springs his crazy brother from a mental hospital as part of his plan to get revenge on Castle for butchering his once-pretty face.

Excuse me.

(LS takes out an Uzi and sprays a gang of menacing types who enter the alleyway. Bodies fall everywhere).

MA (nodding his head in approval): You didn’t miss that time.

LS: The plot is pretty simple. Castle lives to kill gangsters. During one of his assaults on the crime families, Castle unknowingly kills an undercover FBI agent. When he finds out he killed one of the “good guys” he goes into a depression and decides to give up vigilantism. But, as we all know, that’s not going to happen, because Jigsaw wants Castle’s head on a platter, and he also wants to make the family of the undercover “rat” suffer. The dead cop’s widow is played by Julie Benz, who plays Rita on the Showtime series DEXTER, and who was also in another movie I recently reviewed for FearZone, SAW V.

The plot is just an excuse to move the movie forward, but really, this thing is nothing more than an ultraviolent cartoon. After two failed attempts to make the character “mainstream” and bring him to the big screen, this movie is one for the hardcore fans. It’s just an excuse for violence, gore and mayhem. And frankly. I enjoyed the hell out of it.

I was actually shocked at how much this movie earns its R rating. There are exploding heads, heads sliced off with knives, faces caved in by fists, blood-spurting bullet wounds, and lots of other wonderful effects, to show us just how much of an unrestrained killing machine Frank Castle can be.

And like I said, Dominic West is actually pretty terrific as Jigsaw. Where Stevenson’s Castle is all dark, brooding seriousness as he calmly goes around firing off his seemingly unlimited arsenal of weapons, Jigsaw is almost like a character from another movie. You’d think someone whose face was turned into ground beef might be intense and more than a little scary, but despite his repulsive visage, Jigsaw actually seems kind of funny. Like one of those quirky Dick Tracy villains. In fact, in a lot of ways, PUNISHER WAR ZONE reminded me of DICK TRACY (1990) on crystal meth.

Excuse me.

(More baddies enter the alleyway. LS pulls out a rocket launcher and blasts them to kingdom come)

LS (to MA): I’m really surprised you’re letting me talk so long.

MA: You’re doing such a wonderful job, why would I want to interrupt? Besides, you’ve been a fan of the character for a long time – and you know a lot about him.

Not to mention, you’ve got guns.

LS: What’s that supposed to mean? That I’d shoot you if you interrupted me?

MA: I don’t know, you wrote that line! (laughs).

LS: Good one. Back to the movie.

Other characters include Dash Mihok as a really dumb cop named Martin Soap -who was the only character who annoyed me at times—.

MA: Oh yes, Martin Soap. I found him very annoying and wouldn’t have minded if he hadn’t been in the film. His dopiness stood out in this movie like a severed thumb.

LS: And Colin Salmon as Paul Budiansky, an FBI agent and a friend of the undercover agent who got killed, and who is initially as hungry to capture Castle as Jigsaw is. Of course, eventually Budiansky comes around to the Punisher’s way of thinking.

Another big reason why this movie worked for me can be found in the Punisher’s origin story. In the comics, Vietnam veteran Frank Castle returns home from his tour of duty and reunites with his family. One day, while the Castle family is in the park having a picnic, his kids accidentally stumble upon a mob execution. They’re spotted and Castle’s kids and wife are murdered, and Castle is badly injured. But he lives. And from that point on, he only lives to kill the bastards who took his family away from him. This is easily one of the most cinematic origins in comics history.

MA: Right up there with young Bruce Wayne seeing his parents killed.

LS: In the 1989 Dolph Lundgren movie, Frank Castle is a cop who wants revenge on the bastards who killed his partner. In the 2004 movie, Frank is an undercover cop who wants revenge when mobsters kill his family at a reunion (after they find out he’s a cop). For some reason, both movies felt the need to alter Castle’s origin dramatically, and neither film improved on the basic, powerful, true origin. In fact, both films dilute his origin to the point of neutering the character.

The point is, Castle is not a cop. He does not work within the confines of the law. He is a soldier.

MA: Good point.

LS: In PUNISHER WAR ZONE, Frank gets to keep his real origin, although we see it only on flashbacks. This is not an origin film, like most “superhero” movies. In fact, when WAR ZONE opens, Frank has been killing mobsters for four years, and has not yet been apprehended. Secretly, the police like the fact that he cleans up the city in ways they’re not allowed to.

Excuse me.

(A chain-wielding gang of criminals enters the alleyway, hooting and hollering. LS reaches into his pocket and pulls out a Patriot Missile, which he fires at them, destroying half the neighborhood).

LS: Where was I?

The Punisher’s origins go back to the 1970s. He was originally introduced in the pages of THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN as a villain hired to take out Spidey. But he proved so popular that he took on a life of his own, and became one of Marvel’s most popular anti-heroes. Needless to say, where characters like Batman and Spider-Man have a moral code they stick by, which prevents them from taking a life, the Punisher’s code is a lot more twisted. Where a superhero like IRON MAN may appeal to FearZone fans, he’s not really a horror character. However, the Punisher, as a mass murderer, a serial killer, and a borderline psychotic, bring us into much darker territory.

As you can tell, I really dug this little flick, and found myself enjoying the ride a lot. There were other hardcore fans in the audience I saw it with, too, who laughed in the right spots, and enjoyed the blood-stained thrill ride that is PUNISHER WAR ZONE. And it’s funny that it took a female director, former stuntwoman and kickboxer Lexi Alexander, to finally do a Punisher movie right.

And if it’s not obvious yet, I’m one of those hardcore fans. Hell, the first tattoo I ever got was of the Punisher’s skull logo. Nice to finally have a movie that’s not an embarrassment.

Another aspect I really enjoyed about this movie was that while I was watching it, I knew Michael would despise PUNISHER WAR ZONE. I have to admit, that gave me a real chuckle.

So Michael, what did you think of it?

MA (chuckling): Well, the laugh is on you, because, believe it or not, I didn’t despise PUNISHER WAR ZONE. I wanted to, believe me, because I agree with you about the film earning its R rating. There was enough blood spilled in this one movie to make a vampire orgasm, and then some! I found myself shaking my head and asking “why do movie audiences need to see violence like this?” We don’t.

LS (looks puzzled): WE don’t? Speak for yourself, pilgrim.

MA: I’m speaking for the general movie-going public. As you said, this movie will appeal most to hardcore fans like yourself. To the average viewer, the violence in this film is going to be too disturbing. Yet, there was a lot to like about this film, and I did indeed like it, which means perhaps that it’s better than even you gave it credit for.

I had not seen the previous two Punisher movies, but I was still looking forward to seeing this one since I enjoy action films like the next guy.

(Suddenly a crowd of construction workers drinking beer appear behind MA & LS, roaring “Guy movies!!!!” LS fires his Uzi up in the air, and they run away. Several more bodies and body parts fall into the dumpster.)

However, as you know, I don’t like over-the-top violence for no reason, so I had my reservations.

LS: In other words, you’re a wimp.

MA: No, I just have taste. Show me a mindless bloodbath, and I’m going to stop watching. Show me something more, and I’m in. PUNISHER WAR ZONE showed me something more. Yes, the violence was horrific, too horrific for my liking. Watching heads sliced off with knives and organs eaten by a crazy villain a la Hannibal Lecter is not my cup of tea. (Lifts mug to his lips and sees bubbling red blood inside. Frowns and moves to toss it.)

LS: Don’t throw it away! Let me have it. (Takes mug and drinks). Yummy!

MA: Yes, that’s much more to your liking. I’ll stick with green tea. (Sips new mug). Much better. Anyway, back to the Punisher. I didn’t like the violence at all, but the acting, direction, script, and overall feel of the film more than made up for the bloody violence.

My favorite part of this movie was the writing, which is a funny thing to say about a grisly horror-action flick, but I thought the script by Nick Santora, Art Marcum, and Matt Holloway was extremely well-written. My favorite part was that it did not cheat the audience. There were no cheap twists, which is hard to do with a story where the villain claims to have both the NYPD and the Feds in his pocket. There weren’t any of the cliché “Surprise! I’m really a bad guy!” scenes in the movie.

Like you, I really enjoyed the characters. I thought Ray Stevenson was terrific as Frank Castle. He was menacing, relentless, and unstoppable. He reminded me a bit of the Terminator, only darker. I didn’t find him as psychotic as you did, however, and I don’t think I’d describe him as a serial killer. I didn’t get the sense, based upon the way he was portrayed in this movie, anyway, that he enjoyed killing. He just seemed duty-bound to kill every mobster in his path.

Like you, I also really enjoyed Dominic West as Jigsaw, more than I want to admit, and you were right about him keeping his sense of humor. He was quite funny, in spite of being a monster. I thought Jigsaw’s make-up after his accident was sufficiently grotesque as well.

But, to me, the overall success of PUNISHER WAR ZONE belongs to director, Lexi Alexander. She films some really intense action sequences, even though I would have preferred them with less blood. She also gives this movie a slick polished looked which at times reminded me of SIN CITY.

LS: This isn’t a Stanley Kubrick or a Martin Scorsese movie. There’s no pretense here of making great art. It’s an uber-violent cartoon. And on that level, it works. It also doesn’t pull any punches. While Stevenson does protect Benz and win her over, and Benz’s young daughter actually looks up to Frank, these elements do not push the movie into sappy territory. There’s no need for some romantic storyline to make this more palatable to mainstream audiences. These scenes simply seek to humanize Frank a little between shooting sprees.

It’s not any more than it claims to be. And I enjoyed its gory goodness.

MA: Well, I’m happy for you and the 666 other fans who agree with you. For the rest of us, PUNISHER WAR ZONE is an extremely violent, bloody movie that is also extremely well made. It’s a fine example of what creative directing, excellent writing, and solid acting can do with material that in lesser hands could have been discarded in the gross-out-for-no-good-reason dumpster. I liked it, and I think our audience out there should go see it. Just be prepared for lots and lots of blood and gore.

LS (licks his lips): I’m really surprised you liked this one. But seriously, if you wish this movie had less blood and violence, then you’re kind of missing the whole point of why it exists in the first place.

MA: It exists to make money, but that’s beside the point. I like PUNISHER WAR ZONE just the way it is, but had it been less violent, I would have liked it more because it would have appealed to me more. It’s as simple as that.

LS: This movie isn’t for everyone, but if you like how we’ve described this flick, then you probably should go see it.

Excuse me.

(Large ogre-looking creatures in battle armor and muscular cyborgs roar into the alleyway. LS pulls out a nuclear warhead and fires it at them, setting off a huge mushroom cloud over their heads).

MA (looking at cloud): Not good.

LS: I’m gonna go see PUNISHER WAR ZONE again. What are you going to do now?

MA: Get tested for radiation poisoning maybe. This is definitely not good.

LS: What?

MA: You meat-head, you just detonated a nuclear warhead. You’ve attracted the attention of the world, and then some! Look! (points to sky).

(An immense spaceship hovers above them, filling the entire sky above their heads.)

LS: Bring it on, alien boy!

(To Be Continued Tomorrow with the Review of THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL.)

—END—

(First published on Fear Zone on 12/8/09)

Archive for ray stevenson

G.I. JOE: RETALIATION (2013)

THE BOOK OF ELI

PUNISHER WAR ZONE!

Pages

Follow “”