CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: QUICK CUTS
With Michael Arruda, Jenny Orosel, and Craig Shaw Gardner
MICHAEL ARRUDA: Hey, DARK SHADOWS opens this weekend, which begs the question, DARK SHADOWS as a comedy? What were you thinking, Tim Burton???
And that’s exactly what tonight’s QUICK CUTS is all about. We get to be Tim Burton at his pitch meeting.
Our panel tonight fills in the blank: Turning DARK SHADOWS into a comedy is a good idea because __________________________.
JENNY OROSEL: I’m not sure what the entire conversation was like, but I’m sure it included the phrase, “Puff, puff, pass, man. Puff, puff, pass.”
CRAIG SHAW GARDNER: DARK SHADOWS always had a certain “nudge nudge wink wink” aspect to it. It was very melodramatic, they flubbed lines, and the sets were cardboard.
But the real answer comes from the night-time reboot, when, every time Barnabas Collins needed to succumb to his inner vampire, he would cry: I CAN’T HELP MYSELF!
I think that says it all.
MICHAEL ARRUDA: Here’s my list of the Top 10 Reasons turning DARK SHADOWS into a comedy is a good idea:
10. Barnabas Collins has always reminded me of Jack Sparrow.
9. The Collins clan is such a fun-loving family.
8. After the TWILIGHT series, vampire fans need a good laugh.
7. Barnabas Collins has always reminded me of Willy Wonka.
6. Otherwise Tim Burton will turn it into an animated film on a double bill with FRANKENWEENIE.
5. Barnabas Collins has always reminded me of the Mad Hatter.
4. With THE AVENGERS playing, no one’s going to see it anyway.
3. Johnny Depp’s interpretation of Barnabas Collins will be creepier this way.
2. It worked for ED WOOD; heck Martin Landau even won an Oscar!
And the #1 reason turning DARK SHADOWS into a comedy is a good idea: it’s better than turning it into a musical!
Good night, everybody!