Archive for Natalie Portman

THOR

Posted in 2011, 3-D, Blockbusters, Cinema Knife Fights, Marvel Comics, Mythological Creatures, Superheroes with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 9, 2011 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: THOR (2011)
By Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

(THE SCENE: A vast bridge made of multi-colored stones. MICHAEL ARRUDA and LL SOARES are walking across it, chatting, when they come across a large man in golden armor resting his hands on the hilt of a giant sword)

LS: Who the hell are you?

HEIMDALL: I am Heimdall, guardian of the Rainbow Bridge. I protect the way into the ancient city of Asgard, home of the Norse Gods.

LS: Oh that’s nice. You know where we can get a drink around here?

MA: Yeah, we’ve developed quite a thirst. We’ve been walking a long time now.

HEIMDALL: You appear to be two creatures from the human world of Midgard. You are not allowed to pass any further.

LS: Oh come on, man. We just saw the movie THOR, and we thought we’d check out Asgard. It looks like a great place to go on vacation.

MA: Yeah, it looks like fun. Do you have any amusement parks here?

HEIMDALL: Turn back, foolish humans. I knowest not how thou hast reached this place, but it is meant for the gods alone. Not for the likes of thee.

LS: What a friggin snob.

MA (to LS): I told you we should have gone to Transylvania.

HEIMDALL: Go back. Thou shalt go no further.

LS: Hey, what’s that? Looks like a bunch of unruly frost giants!

HEIMDALL (looks around): What? Where?

(LS and MA run past)

HEIMDALL: Huh? Where did those mortals go?

(LS and MA are suddenly in downtown Asgard, a city made of gold and jewels)

LS: So here we are, in the heart of the legendary city of Asgard, so we can do our review of the new superhero flick, THOR, in style.

THOR—if you didn’t know already—is the latest in the long line of superhero movies based on characters from Marvel Comics. This includes a multitude of heroes, from Spider-Man and the Hulk, to the Fantastic Four, Daredevil and Elektra. To, of course, the X-Men and Iron Man. Hey, that’s a lot!

MA: To say that Marvel has been on a roll would be an understatement. Not only have there been a lot of these movies over the last decade, but they’ve been high in quality. It’s no accident these movies have done well. They’re made well.

LS: Back when I was a wee lad reading the actual comic books, the most you could hope for was the occasional TV-movie, or television shows like THE INCREDIBLE HULK with Bill Bixby. And, of course, some cartoons. But it was a rare event indeed for there to be an actual theatrical film based on Marvel Comics. And when it did happen, it was something low-budget and pretty awful.

For a long time, DC Comics held the key to big-budget superhero films based on their characters, like Superman and Batman. But Marvel has finally caught up.

In a few months, we’ll be seeing CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER, another classic Marvel character. And next year is the much-anticipated superhero team movie, THE AVENGERS, which will feature everyone from Iron Man and Thor, to Captain America and the Hulk.

MA: As long as they keep churning out quality products, I’ll continue to look forward to these movies.

LS: The latest release from Paramount and Marvel Studios is the story of THOR, the mighty Norse God of Thunder, who also happens to be a superhero.

THOR begins in the middle of the action. Scientist Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) is studying anomalies of weather, and is pursuing a strange disturbance in the atmosphere with her team: Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgard) —who I thought at first was her father, but who I guess is her mentor—and her assistant, Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings). They are following a strange tornado in a range rover, when they find a man in the center of it.

We then jump back in time to how he got there.

MA: Yet another movie that begins with a flashback. This is really becoming the trend these days, and I don’t like it. I wish these movies would start AT THE BEGINNING!

LS: I find it annoying too.

We then jump back to the city of Asgard – pretty much a world of its own – populated by gods from Norse mythology. The city is ruled by the one-eyed Odin the All-Father (Anthony Hopkins)— the king of the gods—and at first we see him telling his two young sons the story of how Odin and the warriors of Asgard were able to save the planet of Midgard (Earth) from the wrath of invading Frost Giants, and send them back to their own world. The war lasted for many years, and there is an uneasy truce between them. Odin’s two boys, Thor and Loki, are clearly in awe of their dad and both are being groomed to be his possible successor.

MA: Anthony Hopkins looks like he walked off the set of THE WOLFMAN (2010), put on some royal clothing, and entered Asgard.

LS: We then jump to when they are grown men. Thor (Chris Hemsworth), the cocky, charismatic God of Thunder, is about to be named the new king. His younger brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston), watches from the sidelines. The ceremony is interrupted by a breach in the city’s security. Frost Giants were somehow able to get into the city and attempt to steal back the glowing casket that holds their power (a trophy the Asgardians brought back from their long war). The giants are thwarted by the Destroyer – a kind of living robot who is installed in the great hall to protect the casket – but Thor is still outraged that the giants were able to get past the security boundaries at all, and he wants to go to the Frost Giants’ world to punish them for their arrogance.

Odin forbids it. The threat was taken care of, and he is not eager to start another war. He says that Thor is not ready to become king, that his decisions are too rash, and the day’s ceremony is postponed indefinitely.

Thor sneaks off to the Frost Giants’ world anyway, and is joined by his close friends: the warrior woman Lady Sif (Jaimie Alexander), and the Warriors Three, which are made up of the dashing swordsman Fandral (Josh Dallas), the Mongol warrior Hogun (Tadanobu Asano) and the mountainous Volstagg (Ray Stevenson). Loki tags along as well. They get there by being transported via a gigantic sphere-like contraption that works similarly to the transporter bridge on STAR TREK.

On the Frost Giants’ world, Thor and his friends almost start a full-blown war, until Odin appears and stops it. He takes his son and his friends back to Asgard, where he decries Thor’s arrogance and banishes him to the world of humans.

Soon afterwards, Odin falls into a long coma called “The Odin Sleep” which seems close to death, and Loki becomes the new King of Asgard. While up to this point, Loki has seemed to be a good guy, in awe of his brother Thor, it is revealed that, upon becoming king, he is not so good after all, and has an agenda of his own. When he finds out the truth of his birth (a story that didn’t make complete sense to me), it makes him even more determined to tear the world of Asgard apart.

MA: You’re sure going into lots of detail here. Maybe you should just let the folks watch the movie.

LS: I actually dreaded reviewing this one because the story is so complex, and involves so many characters, that it’s hard to give a concise synopsis.

MA: Try this on for size: Thor annoys his dad and gets banished to Earth. There you go. Let’s move on now.

LS: When Thor is banished to Earth, he is stripped of his powers and reduced to little more than a human himself. And his ascension to earth is the tornado that Jane Foster sees in the beginning of the movie. In the middle of the storm, her vehicle hits Thor, and she’s afraid she’s hurt an innocent bystander. It is later on that she realizes that Thor was the actual heart of the storm.

Meanwhile, Thor’s sacred weapon, his hammer Mjolnir, has also hurtled to earth. When it is lodged in a stone (much like Excalibur and the King Arthur legend), crowds of bystanders try to pull it out. But no mortal man can move the hammer. Only Thor can, when and if he redeems himself. The rest of the tale involves Thor trying to do just that. Redeem himself and regain his powers and the throne of Asgard. But he has a long way to go. Meanwhile, Loki has started unleashing much chaos on Asgard.

At one point, Sif and the Warriors Three arrive on earth to help Thor. And Loki sends the Destroyer down to kill him. Meanwhile, the clandestine government agency S.H.I.E.L.D, which fans of the IRON MAN movies will be familiar with, are on the scene, under the jurisdiction of Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg, also from the IRON MAN movies). S.H.I.E.L.D. – a kind of special ops CIA-type organization – is trying to determine what the hammer is, and what is the source of its power (energy readings of the weapon are off the map).

Throw in an brief appearance by archer Clint Barton (Jeremy Renner), who long-time Marvel fans know better as the future Avenger, Hawkeye, and you’ve got yet another piece of the puzzle leading up to 2012’s big event movie, THE AVENGERS.

MA: Which after this synopsis is tomorrow!

Seriously, that was a very detailed and informative synopsis. You’re obviously a long-time fan of the comic books, so what did you think of the THOR movie? Did it live up to your expectations?

LS: Like most adaptations, there are both good and bad elements to the movie. But I had a good time overall.

MA: I did, too.

LS: First off, it’s got some very talented people involved, from director Kenneth Branagh, who made his name in adapting Shakespeare plays to the big screen, like HENRY V (1989) and HAMLET (1996).

The acting is pretty good too, from Anthony Hopkins to Natalie Portman, and solid actors like Idris Elba, Ray Stevenson and Stellen Skarsgard in smaller roles. But I guess the big question is, how does Chris Hemsworth work out as Thor? Is he able to bring the character to life? I think he does a good job.

In the comics, the character was much more serious, but Hemsworth seems so absorbed in playing Thor, that the times when we get laughs from his behavior in this strange new world actually seem pretty genuine. And not only can he act, of course, but Hemsworth looks the part, being extremely well-muscled for the job.

MA: Yes, I enjoyed Hemsworth as Thor too. I thought he both looked and sounded like Thor, and I especially enjoyed his scenes where he’s getting used to our life on Earth.

(Another armored warrior approaches them. This one is BALDER THE BRAVE)

BALDER: Halt! What art thou humans doing here in Asgard?

LS: BALDER! I have to admit, I was very disappointed you didn’t make it into the movie. Sorry to hear it, chap.

BALDER (lowers head): Yes, they cut me out of the script completely. I guess there were already too many characters.

(BALDER lifts his head again, and finds the two humans are gone)

BALDER: Where didst those rascals go now?

(We suddenly find ourselves in the royal throne room of Asgard)

LS: Where was I? Oh yes, Anthony Hopkins brings his regal bearing once again to the role of a fatherly monarch.

MA: I thought Hopkins just mailed it in here. There really wasn’t much for him to do with this role. I enjoyed him much more in THE RITE (2011) which we saw earlier this year.

LS: Yeah, I guess you’re right. He could have played this role in his sleep – which is ironic, since for a big part of the movie he is asleep.

I also missed some of the fun language from the comics. Thor and the Asgardians speak in flowery ways here, but long gone are the “thees” and “thous” of the old Stan Lee/Jack Kirby comics. And I never got to hear Thor say the immortal line “I Say Thee Nay!”

MA: Yeah, I’m real sad about that (rolls his eyes).

LS: Tom Middleton, the other crucial role here, is okay as Loki. Early on, I didn’t care for him, much. He seemed to be too earnest and actually a good guy – it would have been nice if he’s show potential for evil earlier—but once his darker side finally did come out, he turned out to be an okay villain.

MA: Yeah, if you’re watching SCOOBY DOO! I thought Loki was one of the weakest characters in the movie. I didn’t like him as a villain at all, and that’s major knock I have against the movie, that it doesn’t have much of a villain. I wasn’t that impressed with Middleton’s performance. I thought he made Loki rather wimpy.

LS: Like I said, he was okay, but not terrific. In the comics, Loki is a much more formidable foe. Where Thor is pure brute strength, Loki is one of the most powerful sorcerers in the universe. He is certainly a force to be reckoned with, in the comics. Here—not so much. But even in the comics, Loki always had his weasely side. Although there is a cool fight on the rainbow bridge between the brothers toward the end that’s not too bad. I also didn’t care much for the “secret” of Loki’s birth. I thought it was kind of lame.

The growing romance between Thor and Jane Foster is also a key component of the movie. Natalie Portman seems like an odd choice for a superhero flick, especially when she has been in much more arty fair lately, like last year’s BLACK SWAN, but she was also in the fantasy/comedy YOUR HIGHNESS last month, so she isn’t opposed to being in more mainstream movies.

MA: And don’t forget she was in the three STAR WARS movies, EPISODES I, II, and III as Padme, Anakin Skywalker’s wife and Luke Skywalker’s mom.

LS: She’s good in THOR, but she isn’t given very much to do here, except look at Thor with googly eyes. It’s definitely not one of her better roles.

And while I love Ray Stevenson (he even played another Marvel character – The Punisher – to great effect in 2009’s PUNISHER WAR ZONE), I thought he was a kind of a weak Volstagg. Not that it was his fault at all. His acting was fine. But in the comics, Volstagg is a gigantic, obese glutton of a man (and a hilarious story-teller, where he is always the hero in his stories). Whoever did the work on Stevenson’s costume and make-up did a shoddy job. He looks like Volstagg after a year on Jenny Craig, when he should be mammoth in size. And he could have been given a few more chances to make us laugh.

MA: I thought Natalie Portman did a fine job as Jane Foster, and I can say the same for Stellan Skarsgard who played her mentor Erik Selvig, and Kat Dennings who played their young intern Darcy. Now, none of them delivered what you would call Oscar caliber performances, but they were by far my favorite characters in the movie, and whenever they were on screen, I liked the film that much better. And a lot of this is because of their strong performances. So, I have to give them credit.

LS: I actually found Kat Dennings’ character to be rather irritating as the movie went on. And Portman and Skarsgard –two Oscar-caliber actors –are given pretty one-dimensional roles here. So I don’t agree that the earthbound characters are the best thing in the movie.

MA: Well, they’re a heck of a lot more fun than whiny Low Key— I mean, Loki.

I also enjoyed Idris Elba, who we’ve seen in several horror movies in the past few years, even though he was unrecognizable as Heimdall. It’s still a cool character, and he did a good job with him.

LS: Yeah, Elba is pretty much always reliable, and he’s very good here.

(Another large, armored WARRIOR enters the throne room)

WARRIOR: How darest thou humans enter the throne room of the mighty Odin! Prepare to die!

LS: We’re sorry, mister. We didn’t know this room was off limits.

MA: Yeah, it’s our first time here.  We sure could use a brochure or a map.  Would you happen to have one handy?

WARRIOR: There is no excuse for such arrogance!

LS: Hey, isn’t that Ulik and his trolls invading the streets of Asgard?

WARRIOR: What! (runs outside) Where are those dastardly trolls?

(LS and MA rush past him unnoticed)

LS: THOR was available in three different versions in theaters. In regular 2D, in 3D, and in IMAX. I saw the 3D version, which meant an extra $5.00 for glasses.

MA: I saw the 3D version as well.

LS: While the 3D effects did seem pretty good when the movie began, after a while, I pretty much stopped noticing. I’m not sure if it was because I just got used to the 3D, or if it was just poorly used here, and I only became aware of it again a few times during fight scenes. Overall, I thought it was a waste of money, and would have been just as happy to see the 2D version.

MA: I agree. To me, the 3D effects were most noticeable during the Asgard scenes. When the story took place on earth, I hardly noticed the 3D at all.

LS: And of course, as Marvel movie fans already know, you need to stick around until the very end – after all the credits – to see a “secret” scene that appears at the very end. Not surprisingly, this scene involves another appearance by Samuel L. Jackson as S.H.I.E.L.D. leader Nick Fury, and more clues about the upcoming AVENGERS movie.

So what did you think of THOR, Michael?

MA: I found THOR likeable enough. I mean, I certainly enjoyed watching it, but I thought it was an uneven film, and this lack of consistency prevented it from reaching the next level.

I thought the scenes on earth worked best. They were humorous, and I liked the pacing to these scenes. I enjoyed the characters—Natalie Portman’s scientist and her mentor and intern—a lot, and it was fun seeing Thor interact with the real world.

The scenes in Asgard, while visually impressive, lacked punch. They reminded me somewhat of the opening scenes on Krypton way back in SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE (1979), only those scenes happened at the beginning of the movie, while these Asgard scenes continue throughout the whole movie. There’s nothing really wrong with these Asgard scenes, but compared to the scenes on Earth, they’re rather flat and nowhere near as fun. It’s almost like two different movies.

The story’s likable enough. I like Thor’s story, and I think screenwriter Ashley Miller did a good job telling it, but again, the earth scenes are so much better. The dialogue is quick and witty, while on Asgard things are just more mundane.

The jumping back and forth between Earth and Asgard didn’t really work for me. I would have preferred an opening scene on Asgard, and then that would be it. I would have enjoyed seeing the rest of the story take place on earth.

LS: I don’t think it was as bad as all that. Asgard is a very important aspect of Thor’s story and belongs here.

MA:  Then they should have done a better job writing these scenes.  Thor and his Asgard buddies are about as lively as a bunch of Jedi Knights huddled around Yoda, while the Earth scenes have spunk.

LS:  I actually liked most of the scenes in Asgard. While I like Portman, I didn’t think Jane Foster was all that compelling a character. So I’m glad it didn’t take place exclusively on Earth.

MA: I wasn’t that impressed by Kenneth Branagh’s direction, either. While the film looked good, I thought it was short on impressive action. I thought the best action sequence was the fight between Thor and the Destroyer, which I found exciting and well-staged. But the rest of the action I thought was average at best.

And while the scenes in Asgard do look good, it’s difficult to come out and state unequivocally that these scenes are “stunning” because as good as they look—and the city and the bridge do look terrific— they still look like CGI animation, and it’s just not the same as looking at a remarkable set built for a movie like this. It’s just not the same.

Still, I thought THOR was fun. It was lively, energetic, and colorful. It’s also fun to watch these Marvel movies as they make their way towards the inevitable AVENGERS film coming out next year.

So, I liked THOR, but it didn’t blow me away. I give it two and a half knives.

LS: I thought it was a good superhero film, at least as good as the IRON MAN movies, and a worthy addition to the Marvel pantheon….

MA: I liked the first IRON MAN better.

LS: …..but I didn’t love it. I thought it was overstuffed at times and would have appreciated more gravitas. I expected something dramatic and powerful from Kenneth Branagh, but this was pretty much his version of a fluff piece.

I give it three knives.

MA: I almost gave it three knives, but I also found the ending and the climactic battle between Thor and Loki lacking. Had it been stronger, I would have rated this one higher.

So, that about wraps things up. Now, what?

LS: Let’s go there! (Points to a restaurant sign that reads, VOLSTAGG’S ALL U CAN EAT BUFFET) I’ve worked up an appetite.

MA: Sounds good. All right, folks, we’ll see you next time with a review of another new movie.

LS: I can’t wait to down a case of that Asgard Ale!

—END—

© Copyright 2011 by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

Michael Arruda gives THOR - 2 and a half knives


LL Soares gives THOR - 3 knives


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YOUR HIGHNESS

Posted in 2011, Cinema Knife Fights, Comedies, Fantasy Films, Magic, Monsters, Wizards with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 12, 2011 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: YOUR HIGHNESS (2011)
By L.L. Soares

(THE SCENE: a medieval castle. L.L. SOARES is dressed in period clothing, wandering about the place)

LS: So I was waiting for Michael to show up and accidentally fell into his hot tub time machine, and now I’m here, in this place. I wonder if I’ll ever get back to my own time.

(A mechanical BIRD flies in through a window and lands on LS’s shoulder)

BIRD: Movie review! Movie review!

LS: Do you bring word from Mr. Arruda about our review this day?

BIRD: Nope. He’s reviewing another movie called HANNA. You’re on your own for this one.

LS: Is that so! That dastardly villain tricked me!

BIRD: You were tricked. HA HA.

LS: Well, since I’m trapped here, I might as well review the new Danny McBride comedy, YOUR HIGHNESS. Especially since it features a host of fantasy elements like dragons and minotaurs.

BIRD: Yep, get to the review already.

LS: Okay. Well, I’ve been a fan of comedian Danny McBride for a while now. I first noticed him in the supporting role as Red in PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (2008), which made me seek out his first movie in a leading role, THE FOOT FIST WAY (2006), a small indie film where he played an obnoxious jerk of a karate instructor. FOOT FIST made the film festival circuit for a bit and was McBride’s ticket to bigger things. He also had a stand-out role as the pyrotechnics guy in TROPIC THUNDER (2009). Unfortunately, he’s also appeared in some clunkers like 2009’s LAND OF THE LOST.

For those who’ve been following his career, McBride’s best role thus far has been on the HBO series EASTBOUND AND DOWN, where he plays Kenny Powers, a former baseball star who was fired for steroid use and is trying to make a comeback. Kenny is a complete jerk (see a pattern here?) but despite all of his offensive behavior, there’s something strangely likable about him. EASTBOUND AND DOWN is a terrific show, but can someone make such an unpleasant type of character work in a big budget Hollywood film?

BIRD: Tell us already!

LS:  Well, yes and no. YOUR HIGHNESS is the first leading role for McBride in a movie that was made for a big studio, and it’s an uneven affair. McBride plays Prince Thadeous, a pompous ass and  a coward, who stayed home while his heroic brother Fabious (James Franco) was out defending the kingdom and slaying monsters. When Fabious returns from a recent quest where he slew a monstrous Cyclops (he’s brought the severed head back as a souveneir), Thadeous is enraged to be back in his much-loved brother’s shadow. And not only is Fabious back, he has brought a girl with him, Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel) who had been a prisoner in the Cyclops’s tower. Fabious declares that they will be married and that he wants Thadeous to be his best man. But Thadeous would much rather sneak out and get stoned with bogmen and his constant companion, his court jester Courtney (Rasmus Hardiker).

Thadeous’s mettle, however, is put to the test, when Fabious’s wedding is interrupted by the wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux), the master of the Cyclops and the imprisoner of Belladonna, who demands his virgin back (he has planned to use her in an upcoming ritual). Fabious and his men attempt to protect her, but no one has a chance against Leezar’s magic, especially when three witches come to his aid (one of which is his mother), and Belladonna is whisked away to Leezar’s tower.

Fabious goes on a journey to save his bride to be, and King Tallious (Charles Dance) demands that Thadeous join Fabious on his quest. “It’s high time you became a man.”

What unfolds of course, is the familiar Hollywood tale of redemption, which McBride molds into his own image, with mixed results. We are basically treated to a parody of those medieval quest movies where there are ogres, dragons, and wizards. Here, they’re all played for laughs, including a perverted Yoda-like character called the White Wizard (Fabious goes to him for advice, but the muppet-like wizard’s motives are a bit disturbing), a five headed dragon, a minotaur, and a female warrior out for revenge, played by Natalie Portman, who is quite ravishing in this role. Too bad she’s not onscreen all that much.

Early on in the quest, Fabious’s men betray him (it turns out they’ve been working for Leezar). Led by Damien  Lewis (probably best known for his role in HBO’s BAND OF BROTHERS, but also check him out in the DVD of the canceled show LIFE, which was actually pretty great, and the indie movie KEANE (2004)) as Boremont, the soldiers attempt to enslave Fabious and bring him to their master, but he gets away, and it’s Fabious, Thadeous and Courtney on their own to find an enchanted sword made from a unicorn’s horn and saving Belladonna from her prison.

BIRD: Don’t forget me.

LS: Oh yeah, Fabious has a pet bird in the movie, but he’s a mechanical creature. A steampunk anachronism of sorts, which was obviously a tip of the hat to the original CLASH OF THE TITANS (1981), which featured a robotic owl.

(BIRD begins to sing)

LS: Oh be quiet, you foul fowl. I am doing a review here.

BIRD: Get bent!  (the BIRD takes off, taking a poo as it goes. LS wipes at an oil stain on his shirt)

LS (shaking his fist at the sky) You mechanical menace!

Um, excuse me.

Overall, the movie is funny, but there are few real laugh-out-loud moments  I’m not sure how well McBride’s obnoxious jerk character translates into a fantasy scenario, but he does have his moments. McBride is a really funny guy and I don’t think this movie was as good of a showcase of his talents as it could have been.

James Franco is excellent as Fabious, the heroic and dimwitted brother to Thadeous. He’s so nice and so selfless in his motives that it’s hard not to like him. Even Thadeous can’t help but envy him.

(A DRAGON sticks his head into a window)

DRAGON: Yeah, Franco is always good. Unless he’s hosting the Oscars.

LS: Portman, as the warrior Isabel (she’s like Xena’s cousin!), is great in her scenes, and what a nice butt we get to see in a bathing-in-the-river scene. And Rasmus Hardiker is terrific as Courtney. In fact, the entire cast is quite good here. I just wish the script could have been a bit funnier.

Director David Gordon Green started out making small, intense films like GEORGE WASHINGTON (2000) and UNDERTOW (2004), which were both effective, independent dramas. Then he somehow got in with the “wrong crowd” and became a big-budget comedy director. The difference in the movie styles is unsettling. Green’s comic output has included PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (which also starred Franco and had McBride in a big supporting role) and episodes of EASTBOUND AND DOWN (McBride’s television series), and while he is a skillful director, his comedy work is pretty quirky and not necessarily mainstream (but that’s not necessarily a bad thing – it just won’t appeal to everyone). This works in something like EASTBOUND, where the boundaries are not so tight, and there’s freer reign to let McBride be as unlikable as he wants. In the context of a commercial Hollywood movie, which has its own set of rules, things are a little more restricted, and the jokes don’t always work.

Perhaps it’s the fantasy element of the movie that makes everything seem a little off its rhythm. The special effects are fine, and there are some interesting scenes, including a bizarre run-in with Amazon warriors in the forest, led by a strange, child-like king (despite his large physical size) who creates monsters by submerging his hand into a pot of what looked like porridge, and having it coming out the other end as a beast rising from the ground (a quite elaborate, and fascinating concept). The scene with the minotaur is also pretty good, including a scene where the monster bears an erection and tries to molest poor Courtney (Thadeous severs the appendage after they defeat the monster, and wears it around his neck).  And a scene where a traitorous footman named Julie (Toby Jones) is stripped—revealing a very strange secret—is quite funny.

Overall, I liked YOUR HIGHNESS. There was enough good acting and good direction to keep me interested. And certain scenes were pretty funny. I just wish there were more laughs throughout the film.

I give it two and a half knives. Check it out at a matinee or wait til it comes to Netflix. Either way, you’re better off renting EASTBOUND AND DOWN instead.

(BIRD flies back)

BIRD: Time to go back. Time to go back.

LS: What are you talking about?

(BIRD raises a wing toward a sign that reads “This Way to Get Back to the Future.“)

LS: Splendid. I can go home now!

BIRD: I’m a good bird. I’m a good bird.

LS: Oh shut up!

© Copyright 2011 by L.L. Soares

L.L. Soares gives YOUR HIGHNESS – 2 and a half knives!

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BLACK SWAN

Posted in 2010, Art Movies, Cinema Knife Fights, LL Soares Reviews, Madness, Psychos with tags , , , , , , , on December 6, 2010 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: BLACK SWAN
By L.L. Soares

(The scene is a dressing room in an abandoned ballet theater. Sitting in front of a mirror that is surrounded by globe lights we see L.L. SOARES, applying white make-up to his face. Suddenly, in the glass before him, appears MICHAEL ARRUDA)

LS: What are you doing there?

MA: Checking up on you. I wasn’t able to review BLACK SWAN. It wasn’t playing anywhere near me.

LS: That’s weird. I thought it was in wide release. It was playing at both an art-house theater near me, and the local Cineplex.

MA: Well, I couldn’t see it to review it. You’re going to have to do this one solo.

LS: Solo? That’s just like the plot in BLACK SWAN. Ballet director Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel) decides to do an innovative version of Swan Lake. Usually the white and black swans are played by different dancers. But he wants one dancer to do both. Just like you want me to do this Cinema Knife Fight alone.

MA: Whatever. I don’t have time to talk ballet with you. I have to go.

LS: Good riddance!

(MA’s reflection disappears from mirror and LS is again looking at his own reflection)

LS: That was weird.

Well, I better get to my review.

BLACK SWAN is the new movie by director Darren Aronofsky. He’s one of my favorites, having previously made such interesting films as PI (1998), THE FOUNTAIN (2006), THE WRESTLER (2008), and my favorite, REQUIEM FOR A DREAM (2000).

This time around, he turns his spotlight on the world of ballet. I have to admit, I know squat about ballet, but one thing about Aronofsky movies that’s so interesting is he often delves into working worlds a lot of us might not be familiar with. Whether it’s mathematicians (PI) or pro and semi-pro wrestling (THE WRESTLER). One thing I noticed about the ballet scenes in BLACK SWAN, whether practices or performances, was the sheer grueling toll it takes on the bodies of the dancers, especially their feet. It looks like there are a lot of broken toes that go with those pirouettes.

In fact, there are a lot of little scenes in BLACK SWAN that make you wince even though they don’t appear to be so bad. A toenail cracks in half. A fingernail is cut down too deeply. They don’t sound like much, but Aronofsky makes them work. He makes us FEEL them. And that’s because he’s a master of his craft.

Which brings us to the point that, while not a traditional horror film, BLACK SWAN has horrific elements that keep us on the edge of our seats throughout. I will get into some of these elements soon.

But on to the actual story. BLACK SWAN revolves around Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman) a dancer who has been in her company for a while, but who has never had the chance to glow as a star. It’s not from lack of trying. Nina works on her body and her dancing constantly, to the point of obsession, and she’s a perfectionist. So when she tries out for the role of White Swan in Swan Lake, she doesn’t fail to impress ballet boss Leroy, especially now that the company’s prima ballerina, Beth Mcintyre (Winona Ryder) suddenly decides to retire from the biz (seemingly against her will). Cassel is looking for a new star. A young, fresh face. And Nina is just what he’s looking for. Except for one thing. She’s a frigid little ice queen. Then again, it’s quite clear Mr. Leroy would love a chance to change Nina’s virgin ways.

As I mentioned earlier, in Cassel’s version of Swan Lake he wants the same dancer to play the white and black swans. But while Nina completely captures the delicacy and grace of the white swan, she’s too inhibited to totally give herself over to the seductive nature of the black swan. However, Cassel sticks to his guns and demands she master both sides of her personality.
The thing is, Nina has a very hard time getting in touch with her sexuality. Which brings us to our first horror film comparison.

NATALIE PORTMAN MEET CATHERINE DENEUVE

(The door opens and Natalie Portman enters, dressed as a white swan and a young Catherine  Deneuve enters)

LS: Hello, ladies. I just wanted you to get a chance to meet. One of the key themes of BLACK SWAN is Nina’s fear of her own sexuality. When lecherous Leroy (Cassel) suggests she touch herself when she goes home, as “homework,” it opens up floodgates previously locked up inside her. Why is this such a big deal to her? Partly because she has been locked in the role of a child, even though she is clearly in her 20s.

This mirrors Catherine Deneuve’s iconic performance in Roman Polanski’s film REPULSION (1965), where a repressed young woman’s fantasies lead her to madness and murder. Pretty much the same thing happens in BLACK SWAN, albeit in a different way.

Thank you, ladies.

(Portman and Deneueve dance their way out of the room)

Next up is the person who is forcing Nina to stay as a child. Her mother.

PIPER LAURIE MEET BARBARA HERSHEY

(LS opens the door again to allow Piper Laurie and Barbara Hershey to enter the room)

LS: In Brian DePalma’s 1976 movie, CARRIE, Sissy Spacek’s Carrie White is naïve and socially inept, mostly due to her treatment at the hands of her domineering, ultra-religious mother, Margaret (Piper Laurie).

Barbara Hershey’s Erica Sayers in BLACK SWAN is just as domineering, but instead of using religion to keep her daughter in line, she uses ambition and dance itself as weapons. A ballerina herself who was never allowed to live up to her promise, Erica wants her daughter Nina to succeed where she failed, at all costs. It doesn’t hurt that Nina is obsessive about her art. Erica encourages this obsession, and exacerbates it, making the girl eat sleep and live ballet. She is not allowed to have other relationships, she is not allowed to leave the house (except to go dance) and her room is full of the stuffed animals a child would have. Erica has done everything in her power to keep Nina a child, dependent on her love and acceptance.

Hershey was once a very pretty actress, but here, as Erica, she is extremely severe-looking. And the film hints at a more violent side, as when Erica gets Nina a celebration cake when Nina gets the role of the Swan Queen. When Nina says she’s too nervous to eat any, Erica immediately moves to hurl the cake into the garbage, until Nina begs her not to. This one scene speaks volumes about their relationship.

Thank you both.

(Laurie and Hershey leave the room)

And finally, I would like to introduce two more special guests.

TYLER DURDEN MEET LILLY

(Brad Pitt, dressed as Tyler Durden and Mila Kunis as Lilly enter the room)

LS: Please meet Tyler Durden, Brad Pitt’s character from FIGHT CLUB (1999), directed by David Fincher. Throughout FIGHT CLUB, Durden is the dark side of the Narrator character (Edward Norton). The Narrator both idolizes Durden and wants to be him. As fans of this film know, he gets his wish.

Fans of FIGHT CLUB will see parallels between it and BLACK SWAN in the new film’s later scenes. And it is this part of the film that didn’t completely work for me. It mostly did – I don’t think the movie fails in any sense – but there were a couple of scenes that seemed overly awkward and strained my suspension of disbelief just a little bit.

Durden’s equivalent in BLACK SWAN is Mila Kunis’s character, Lilly. While it’s clear that Lilly is a real person, there is a second Lilly’s whose existence is not so clear cut. When Lilly goes to Nina’s house to get her to go out for drinks with her, this isn’t just a friend coming over to hang out with. Lilly represents the dark side of Nina’s personality, the side that is struggling to be free. When Nina leaves the house with her, it is in direct disobedience to Erica, who demands she stay home. Lilly is a threat to Erica’s hold over her daughter. Lilly is also wild and uninhibited, urging Nina to open up and let out her wild side.

It makes perfect sense that Lilly is also the dancer who fully embodies the Black Swan and clearly would be the perfect choice for the role, if the White and Black Swans were played by different people. Since Leroy refuses to do this, he makes Lilly Nina’s understudy instead.

Even the acting styles of Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis are in sync with their characters. Portman seems to be working hard throughout BLACK SWAN, and yet Kunis seems to have an easy-going sensuality. The camera loves them both (especially Kunis, even though Portman is the better actress), but in different ways.

The most powerful scene between the two involves them going back to Nina’s room after nightclubbing and having passionate sex while Nina’s mother pounds on her bedroom door. It’s a very hot scene and Kunis brings a self-assured dominance to the proceedings. In fact, she’s quite good in this role. As are all of the supporting players.

You both may leave now.

(Tyler and Lilly leave the room)

These other characters are catalysts in Nina’s journey from child-like state to womanhood. There are other cinematic antecedents as well, from Michael Powell’s classic THE RED SHOES (1948), about a ballet dancer whose cursed shoes make her dance until she dies (there is a similar intensity in the way Nina obsesses over her art) and the body-morphing terrors of David Cronenberg (at one point, Nina appears to be actually transforming into a human swan as she dances – it’s a CGI effect that both looks unreal and yet works quite well).

Despite these similarities with other films, Aronofsky is not an imitator by any means. He makes all of these elements his own. And that is what makes BLACK SWAN so breathtakingly watchable. This is a director at the top of his craft. And while I don’t think it’s as good as REQUIEM FOR A DREAM, which I still feel is his masterpiece, I do think BLACK SWAN is a powerful film that is worth checking out on the big screen.

Portman is the center of this film, its heart, and she does a fine job of carrying the weight of this production on her firm shoulders. She truly shines in BLACK SWAN, even in the scenes where she is losing her mind.

And this completes my little performance. Come back next time, when my own white swan, Michael Arruda, returns to actually do his job and review a film with me.

In the meantime, I bid you adieu.

Oh, and as for BLACK SWAN, I give it four knives. Right through your heart.

-END-

© Copyright 2010 by L.L. Soares
L.L. Soares gives BLACK SWAN – four knives.

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CKF COMING ATTRACTIONS: DECEMBER 2010

Posted in 2010, Art Movies, Coming Attractions, Science Fiction, Westerns with tags , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2010 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT COMING ATTRACTIONS: DECEMBER 2010
by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

(The Scene:  a festive living room decorated to the hilt for the holidays. Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares are sitting in front of a fireplace, both dressed in red. Michael is wearing a red suit, and L.L. is wearing white clothes almost entirely covered in blood stains, some of them fresh. They both hold stockings full of goodies.)

LS:  You got anything in there for me?

MA:  Yeah. Coal.

LS:  Alright!  My favorite!

MA:  Nah, just kidding. I got some stuff in here for you. (Fishes around in stocking trying to pull something out.)  I can tell you what we don’t have this month. Horror movies!  Horror’s just not on the menu at the theaters this month, I’m afraid. Oh well. We’re going to be unconventional this month.

LS:  Enough yakking!  What do you have in there for me already?

MA:  Oh yeah. Well, first we have— (pulls out a giant black bat that flaps its wings furiously.)

LS:  What the hell is that?

MA:  It’s supposed to be a black swan, but we only have bats under contract.

LS:  Even better. I love bats!  Give me that. (Grabs bat from MA.)

MA:  Anyway, on the weekend of December 3, we’ll be reviewing BLACK SWAN starring Natalie Portman. Since this gift is for you, perhaps you’d like to tell about the movie?

LS:  Sure. I’m excited about this one because it’s directed by one of my favorite filmmakers, Darren Aronofsky, who previously gave us such powerful films as PI (1998) REQUIEM FOR A DREAM (2000), and most recently THE WRESTLER (2008). While BLACK SWAN takes place in the world of ballet and stars Portman, Vincent Cassel and Mila Kunis, it’s supposed to be pretty dark. And Aronofsky hasn’t let me down yet. Despite entering some dark psychological territory, this isn’t the usual kind of movie we review for Cinema Knife Fight, so it should be interesting.

MA:  Winona Ryder is in it as well. It’ll be fun to see her again. Not that I was ever a big fan, but it’s more of a nostalgia thing. Her early appearances in movies like HEATHERS (1989) and BEETLE JUICE (1988) seem like yesterday.

LS: HEATHERS was actually a really good movie.

MA: So, do you have anything in there for me?

LS:  Here you go. (Pulls out a bust of William Shakespeare with fangs.)

MA:  It’s the bard with a bite. On December 10, we’ll be reviewing THE TEMPEST, a new film version of Shakespeare’s play starring Helen Mirren, Felicity Jones and Djimon Hounsou. I enjoyed Helen Mirren in the recent STATE OF PLAY (2009) also starring Russell Crowe and Ben Affleck, and in THE QUEEN (2006) before that.

LS: What’s the obsession with newer films? Helen Mirren has made hundreds of movies over the years. To me, she’ll always be Detective Jane Tennison from the top-notch PRIME SUSPECT series from the BBC. She starred in several of those.

Other great films she was in include the notorious “classic” CALIGULA (from 1979) and she played the wife in Peter Greenaway’s THE COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE AND HER LOVER (1989), one of my all-time favorite movies (and a disturbing one at that). Now those were great roles!

MA: And Djimon Hounsou delivered a powerhouse performance in BLOOD DIAMOND (2006) and so I’m looking forward to seeing him in this movie.

Shakespeare’s plays are always fun, and while I’m not as familiar with THE TEMPEST as I am with a lot of his other plays, I’m still looking forward to it. Should be fun.

LS:  THE TEMPEST is something a little different than we’re used to from Shakespeare. It’s one of his very few fantasy plays. And Mirren plays Prospera, who fans of the original play will recognize as a female version of the play’s sorcerer, Prospero. The fact that this movie is directed by Julie Taymor is also exciting. She made a very interesting post-modern version of another Shakespeare play, TITUS (based on Titus Andronicus) in 1999, with Anthony Hopkins. One of Shakespeare’s more violent plays.

MA (searching through stocking):  What else do we have in here for you?  Here you go. You’re very own TRON action figure!

LS (groans): Oh boy.. I hope that’s not as lame as I think it is!

MA:  I was not a fan of the first TRON (1982) movie, or of the video game. Back then, I wasn’t much of a fan of Jeff Bridges either. But he’s one of those actors who has grown stronger and better with age. I’d now have to list him as one of my favorite actors working today.

LS: TRON was interesting for its time. I guess it was pretty cutting edge in 1982, but it’s pretty dated now. Basically, it’s the story of a man who enters the world of a video game. Of course, with today’s technology, they should be able to do things the original film never dreamed was possible. TRON is, if anything, a cult classic now. I’m surprised Disney took such a big interest in reviving the franchise 28 years later. But maybe the effects have finally caught up with the concept. The movie will also be in 3D (of course!)

The trailer doesn’t really look all that amazing to me, but I’ll reserve judgment until I see TRON LEGACY. As for Jeff Bridges, I’ve been a fan of his for a very long time, at least since 70s classics like THE LAST PICTURE SHOW (1971), FAT CITY (1972) and THUNDERBOLD AND LIGHTFOOT (1974).

Not to mention John Carpenter’s STARMAN (1984), and films like THE FISHER KING (1991) FEARLESS (1993)

MA: Speaking of Jeff Bridges, we’ll be seeing him again a week later with the December 23 release of TRUE GRIT, a remake of the John Wayne movie TRUE GRIT from 1969, a film that earned Wayne his only Oscar. It’s actually based on a novel by Charles Portis.

LS:  Don’t forget your gift. (Hands MA a John Wayne figure.)  It talks. Press that button.

(MA presses button on toy figure’s chest.)

JOHN WAYNE FIGURE:  Howdy, Pilgrim. You’d better give this here movie a darned good review or else I’m going to kick your ass you mutha—.

MA (Shocked. Drops toy):  Whoa!  The Duke never spoke that way in the movies. Where did you get this toy?  Never mind. Anyway, I’m really looking forward to TRUE GRIT, mostly because it features a terrific cast, which includes Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, and Josh Brolin. And of course it’s directed by Joel and Ethan Coen. With the talents involved here, this one sounds like a winner.

LS: It’s nice to see Jeff Bridges working with the Coen Brothers again. He did the THE BIG LEBOWSKI with them in 1998. Maybe my favorite movie by the Coens and one of Bridges’s best roles.

As for the original version of TRUE GRIT, I loved that movie. It was easily one of my favorite John Wayne films. Not as good as THE SEARCHERS (1956) maybe, but pretty damn good.

MA:  And we’ll round out the year on the last weekend of December with a DVD review of an as of yet undetermined title, which means it’s going to be a surprise, so mums the word!

So, that wraps things up here.

LS:  Couldn’t have said it better myself.  Here’s another gift for you. (Throws a wad of crumpled wrapping paper at MA, who catches it.)

MA:  What’s this?

LS:  Trash.

MA:  What am I supposed to do with this?

LS:  Put it with the rest of your opinions, cuz that’s where they belong! (laughs).

MA:  Lame. Very lame. (to audience)  Happy Holidays, folks.

LS:  Bah, humbug!

MA:  We’ll see you throughout December with lots of reviews of lots of new movies. (presses button on JOHN WAYNE toy.)

JOHN WAYNE TOY:  You reach for that gun, Pilgrim, and it’ll be the last thing you ever reach for, you no good low-life slimy sonofabitch, you muther—.

MA:  Where did you get this?!

—END—.

© Copyright 2010 by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

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