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THE SLIME CITY GRINDHOUSE COLLECTION

Posted in 2009, Campy Movies, Cinema Knife Fights, Horror DVDs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2010 by knifefighter

(Note: this one is for Greg Lamberson, writer/director and the guy who was our editor over at FEAR ZONE for two years. Greg directed the movie SLIME CITY, and a few others, that were released in a box set called THE SLIME CITY GRINDHOUSE COLLECTION. We reviewed it for Cinema Knife Fight. The review of the box set is below.

Funnily enough, Greg’s brand new movie, a sequel to SLIME CITY called SLIME CITY MASSACRE, had it’s world premiere screening last night. Hope it was a big success, Greg ~ LLS)

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: SLIME CITY GRINDHOUSE COLLECTION
OR
“MICHAEL AND LL GO TO SLIME CITY”
by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

CHAPTER 1

(FADE IN: MICHAEL ARRUDA and LL SOARES stand outside an old-looking brownstone in a bad section of town. They are greeted by LIZZIE, an old woman who owns the building)

LIZZIE: Hello boys, you must be here for the room.

MA: Room?

LIZZIE: I put an ad in the paper. Didn’t you see it?

LS: No, we don’t want to live here, you old bag.  We’re here to review Gregory Lamberson’s SLIME CITY GRINDHOUSE COLLECTION.  (To audience) This one is actually going to involve some travel, but it’s mostly a walking tour. First stop, the house from SLIME CITY! (To LIZZIE).  How about setting us up with some of that Himalayan yogurt? I’m famished.

LIZZIE: Well, this isn’t a restaurant, boys, but I’m always excited to hear that someone is a fan of my father Zachery’s recipe. Follow me.

(They go down into the basement. Shelves line the walls, full of old-fashioned Tupperware containers of various colored gelatins and bottles of green wine)

LIZZIE: Just sit down at that table, boys.

(She gets them some containers)

LS: And bring some of that wine to wash it down with, too.

MA:  You’re not seriously going to eat that stuff, are you?

LS:  Hell, yeah!

LIZZIE: Here you go. I’ll be upstairs if you need anything else. It’s time for my soaps.

LS: Yeah, yeah. Don’t get your dentures in an uproar. We’ll be fine down here.

LIZZIE (goes upstairs): Okay. Have fun.  Why don’t you read my father’s book, FLESH CONTROL?

MA (looks blankly at bright green yogurt):  It’s so— colorful.

(LS already eating blue yogurt, and taking gulps of green wine):  This stuff is delicious!

MA (sniffs yogurt cautiously):   Smells pretty good.

LS:  It tastes even better!  Are you going to eat yours?

MA (quickly slides green containers across table towards LL): Be my guest.  And while you gorge yourself, I’ll start our review of SLIME CITY.

LS:  Hey, I thought I was starting this one?

MA:  Aren’t you eating?

LS:  I can do two things at once.  SLIME CITY was director Greg Lamberson’s first film back in 1988. And it’s a good example of the micro-budget horror movies that were so plentiful in the 80s. It was the time of the VHS boom, when mom and pop video stores were on every corner, and this new form of entertainment needed more and more product.  So horror films that were quickly and cheaply made were attractive to distributors. (Stops.  Groans)

MA:  What is it?

LS:  I think I ate too fast.  Take over for me for a minute.  (Face dripping with slime, LS stumbles in search of a bathroom).

MA:  Not a problem.  In SLIME CITY, a young artist named Alex (Robert Sabin) takes a new apartment in New York City.  He wants his girlfriend Lori (Mary Huner) to move in with him, and while she’s thinking about it, he meets his neighbors, a strange young couple who invite him over for dinner, which turns out to be a brightly colored slime concoction that he agrees to eat.

Soon after consuming the colorful yogurt, Alex discovers a strange slime covering his body.  Things go from bad to worse, as Alex eventually becomes a slime-covered murderous monster.  The proceedings lead to a bloody slime-filled showdown between Alex and Lori, an ending that is not for the squeamish. (LL returns).  Speaking of which.

LS (face is bright yellow and covered in slime):  I’m good.

MA:  You look like crap.

LS: Gimme more of that yogurt!

You know, despite its tiny budget and its flaws, I like this movie a lot. It’s goofy fun. Yogurt that turns you into a monster who has to kill in order to revert back to normal? Devil cults trying to take possession of renters’ bodies? People dripping gooey slime? Women doing crazy dances for no reason?   And with the low-budget effects, a lot of the scenes are unintentionally funny. Or maybe not so unintentional. Even though the film is mostly serious, there are enough one-liners and gags peppered throughout to give the movie a decent sense of humor.

But what about poor LIZZIE? In the movie, we hardly see her except for a big scene toward the end where she tells her father’s story to a horrified Alex in the basement. I wanted more LIZZIE, and I wanted more about her father’s cult.

Robert Sabin is very likable and an effective lead. Huner actually does a decent job playing two roles: Alex’s good  girlfriend Lori and Nicole, the slutty punk chick who lives across the hall (a black wig differentiates them).

There’s even a nosy cop snooping around. Although why he’s always hiding in stairwells and alleyways is kind of strange. And if he’s so sure Alex is the killer, why doesn’t he just arrest him?

MA: I think he would need some evidence to do that.  Just because a guy has a fridge full of fluorescent yogurt doesn’t make him a murderer.

LS: The gore effects are pretty funny. There’s one scene where Alex’s stomach is cut open and his innards drop to the floor. Instead of looking like intestines, they look like fruits and vegetables! He picks them up and stuffs them back in, and I was on the floor laughing. And don’t ask why Alex has a mouth in his stomach in other scenes. It’s never really explained. But I bet it has something to do with FLESH CONTROL, the book Zachary the cult leader wrote. Did I mention the spirit of Zachary is trying to take over Alex’s body?

The big finale is gruesome in a funny way, and the main reason why this movie has a cult following. It will definitely stick with you. All in all, this movie impressed me for the work of someone who had never directed a movie before and who had hardly any money. If you’re a fan of Troma films, and stuff like BASKETCASE and STREET TRASH, chances are you’ll really enjoy this movie.

MA:  Well, I’m not a fan of those movies, and so I didn’t really enjoy SLIME CITY.  That being said, I will say it’s clearly apparent that Gregory Lamberson knows how to shoot a movie.  I was very impressed by the way he crafted a lot of the scenes.  I also enjoyed the various nods to classic horror, especially the nod to Claude Rains in THE INVISIBLE MAN (1933).  The bandages Alex wears over his face to hide his slimy appearance are clearly reminiscent of the bandages Rains wore in THE INVISIBLE MAN.

LS:  A character even calls him the Invisible Man at one point.

MA: Yes, that’s right.   And I agree with you about the two leads.  Robert Sabin is very likable, and I was very impressed with Huner’s dual performance as both the goodie-goodie girlfriend and the dark, vampy neighbor.  But this wasn’t enough for me to recommend this film.

To me, the problem here isn’t the low budget.  With what he had, Lamberson did a masterful job at the helm.  The problem is the excessive bloody violence, even in a film like this, where the effects obviously look so fake.  See, when the fruit falls out of his gut and you’re on the floor laughing, I’m shaking my head wishing this had been taken more seriously.  I might have cared.

LS: How can you really think this movie was “excessively violent?” And where’s your sense of humor?

MA:  Um, in one scene alone, we have a guy’s stomach sliced open and his guts fall out, and then his head’s chopped off.  Now, before I say anything more, I will readily admit that I’m not the target audience for this movie.  It’s an exploitation film, and that’s why it is what it is.  I have no problem with this.  What I’m saying is, for others like me who are not in that small target audience, there’s nothing to lift this movie above the level of a low-budget exploitation horror movie.  If that’s your bag, you’ll love it.  If not, skip it.

(To LL)  Wipe your face. You’re dripping all over the place.

(Suddenly SLIMER from GHOSTBUSTERS pops up)

SLIMER: Boo!

MA: A ghost! This place is haunted! Will the horrors never cease?

LS: Aaargh! We’ve been slimed.

(Both jump up and run up the stairs. LIZZIE watches them run away from her apartment window, scratching her head).

***

CHAPTER 2

(LS and MA find themselves at a party in a Brooklyn apartment.  LS is no longer covered in slime.  A beautiful woman walks by them.)

MA (to woman):  How’re you doing?

(Woman smiles and flashes fangs at him).

LS (to MA): Stop flirting, will you?

MA (gulps):  Sure.

LS:  We’re at this party to review the next movie in the collection, UNDYING LOVE (1991). It was originally released on video with the title NEW YORK VAMPIRE. This time Robert Sabin has a smaller role as a photographer, and the lead is played by Tommy Sweeney, another interesting actor who has appeared in Lamberson’s films. Sweeney has an almost perpetual sneer, and is the perfect bad boy.

(VAMPIRE Woman takes MA aside and hands him a glass of wine.  They chat in the background)

LS: In UNDYING LOVE, Sweeney plays Scott Kelly, a guy who recently tried to commit suicide. His gloomy demeanor attracts Carmilla (the very striking Julie Lynch), a model who is also a vampire.

MA (excusing himself from the VAMPIRE Woman):  Yes, Julie Lynch is very striking! (Returns to chatting with VAMPIRE Woman).

LS:  She wants to make Scott one of the undead, but her master, Evan (Andrew Lee Barrett) isn’t as sold on the idea. Will Scott become a vampire? Will Evan try to stop the transformation from happening? And what will happen to Scott’s girlfriend Leslie (Mary Huner) who saved him from his initial suicide attempt?

There’s even another old guy cop snooping around. This time he’s looking for the vampires who killed his partner 20 years before. The trail leads him to Carmilla and Evan.

I thought UNDYING LOVE was more subdued than SLIME CITY, but also a more mature work. The characters seem more fleshed out this time around. And there’s not as much of that “bloody violence” you hate so much, Michael.

So what did you think of the movie?

(VAMPIRE Woman attempts to bite MA on the neck.)

LS:  Hey, stop that!  (Pulls out hammer and stake and chases VAMPIRE Woman away.)

MA:  Gee, thanks!  Not that I would have minded a little hickey action, but thanks all the same.

LS:  Don’t mention it, and I mean, don’t mention it! I have a reputation to keep up, you know. I’m supposed to be a bad-ass cinema knife fighter!  I’m not a hero or a  role model….

MA:  You’re no actor, either.

(LS pops MA over the head with the hammer):  After you’re through seeing stars, tell us your opinion of the movie.

MA:  The movie, yeah, the movie.  You’re right, UNDYING LOVE is more subdued than SLIME CITY.  I enjoyed the two leads very much, and Julie Lynch as Carmilla was by far my favorite part of the movie.  I enjoyed the movie that much more whenever she was on screen.  But I didn’t buy the cop subplot, and thought it was rather weak.

I also thought the pacing for this one was off a bit, as it seemed slow and plodding.  Also, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such sloppy vampires in a movie before.  They spilled more blood than they drank.  They need to buy some napkins.

LS: Yeah, I always wonder about vampire movies where victims are left in a pool of blood. Would an alcoholic leave a glass with some booze still in it? No. And a vampire probably wouldn’t leave without drinking every drop of blood.

MA: I thought UNDYING LOVE was okay, but again, it’s aimed at a small target audience.  I think most fans of mainstream horror will be unimpressed.

LS:  Hell, I thought it was pretty good. And I’m a big fan of Sweeney. I wish he’d been in more movies.  I’m all for doing something different with vampires, but I have to admit, it is kind of a bummer that you can kill them with knives and guns in this movie. That’s the only thing I didn’t like.

MA:  Consider yourself lucky.

***

CHAPTER 3

(LS and MA are in a sparsely-furnished condo.  There are several locks on the door)

LS:  Lamberson’s third film is called NAKED FEAR (1999), although I’m not really sure how the title fits.

MA:  Especially with the opening shots of New York City adult video stores and peep shows, I thought that’s where this film was headed, but strangely, the movie has nothing to do with this.

LS:  It is an interesting movie though. This one is even more character-driven than UNDYING LOVE, and, aside from some bloody murders, is almost a drama. There are a lot of things I like about this movie. It’s the first time Robert Sabin and Tommy Sweeney are co-leads in the same film – Lamberson’s two best actors. It almost reminds me of those old classics where Karloff and Lugosi teamed up.

MA (nearly chokes to death):  Whoa!  That’s a major stretch, wouldn’t you say?  Sabin and Sweeney are not even on the same level as Freddie and Jason, let alone two of the most iconic and talented horror actors ever to grace the screen, Karloff and Lugosi.

LS: I said “almost.” It’s like Lamberson’s version of Karloff and Lugosi.

MA: Their pairing is more like George Zucco teamed with J. Carrol Naish.  No, I take that back.  Zucco and Naish are better.  I think I’ll go with John Agar and Richard Carlson, or maybe Ed Wood and Tor Johnson.

LS:  Are you through?

MA:  I could go on.

LS:  Shut up.  I’m getting back to the movie.

This time around, Sabin plays Camden, an agoraphobic whose parents were killed by a mugger outside their apartment. As a result, poor Cam hasn’t left the apartment in 10 years! He has everything delivered to him, and lives off the inheritance his parents left him. His lawyer and his only friend (Terry Spivey) tries to get Camden to see a shrink, but he won’t have any part of it. Instead, he is trying to heal himself. First, he puts an ad in the paper asking for a roommate. This is how Randy (Tommy Sweeney) moves in. Despite his surly aura and sneer, Camden likes Randy right away, for some odd reason. Secondly, Camden forms a relationship over the phone with Julie (Peggy Crown), a girl he “meets” on a party line. Slowly, it looks like Camden might actually be moving toward a more healthy mindset.

But Randy really came to case the place for his buddy (Nelson Wakefield) so they could rob Camden. When Randy changes his mind and kills his partner instead, when the guy comes to burglarize the place, it’s just the first of many murders Randy involves Camden in. Suddenly, Camden is thrust into a lot more human interaction than he bargained for!

Despite the fact that NAKED FEAR is the only one of Lamberson’s movies that was shot on High Def Video (his previous movies were shot on film), it actually looks pretty good. A lot of movies shot on video annoy me – they just look “off” – but this one looks better than most, and the video quality doesn’t distract the viewer from the movie. I also thought Sabin and Sweeney gave great performances in this one. They really play off each other well.  And their characters are pretty three-dimensional for a low-budget horror flick.

The only problem I had with NAKED FEAR was a segment near the end where a bunch of previous scenes are shown, almost like a montage, and rather than being flashbacks, they just seem like filler to pad out the running time. But that’s a minor complaint. Otherwise, I thought it was the best of Lamberson’s three early films.

What did you think?

MA:  Well, it certainly was the most subdued of the three, and I liked the idea of building a story around a character suffering from agoraphobia, but that being said, this one just didn’t work for me.  I didn’t find it believable, and since it was supposed to be a believable story, not a tale about slime monsters and glowing yogurt for example, the fact that I didn’t buy into it really did this one in for me.

I found the whole “searching for a roommate” process extremely phony and forced.  Here we have a guy like Camden, who hasn’t left his apartment in ten years, who’s messed up because he witnessed the death of his parents, and he decides to search for a roommate on his own?  Not buying it.  First of all, I didn’t even buy the notion that a guy like Camden would even want a roommate.  Why, all of a sudden a change of heart?  He says it’s because he’s lonely.  Did he just get lonely all of a sudden?  There should have been a more compelling reason.

Then, when Randy shows up, you can’t get a guy who looks any creepier and more suspicious.  But a smiling Camden accepts him right away!  Where are his references?  It’s bizarre enough even for a well-adjusted apartment dweller to accept Randy so quickly, but we’re talking about an agoraphobic, frightened person like Camden.  I just didn’t buy it.

I also found the way he meets Julie over the phone and their subsequent relationship just as phony.  This movie just didn’t ring true for me, and for this reason alone, I thought it weak and uninspiring.

I also did not like the High Def Video.  Movies shot on video always make me feel like I’m watching a soap opera.  The video here was no exception.  Movies look much better on film than video.

LS: I’ve seen a lot of shot-on-video movies, and like I said, it can be pretty distracting. For some reason I didn’t think it was that bad in NAKED FEAR. I’m not really sure why. Maybe because it was High-Def?

MA: And I didn’t find the characters three-dimensional at all.  Camden, for example, is way under-developed.  He’s agoraphobic.  He’s afraid to leave his apartment.  Yet, he’s never forced into a situation where he has to leave.  Where’s the conflict?  Much more suspense could have been generated if to stop Randy, Camden had to go outside, but alas, the action pretty much takes place inside the apartment.

LS: Well, if you want to nitpick…. To get rid of Randy, all Camden had to do was get the locks changed when Randy left for awhile. And then he could just call the cops and report the murders.

And I will say that when Camden finally does leave the apartment, it seems a bit too easy. You’d think it would be a real struggle after ten years of isolation.

MA: Then, there’s Randy.  We learn he’s the way he is because his parents treated him badly, but the question I have is, just what kind of person is he?  Murderer?  Psychopath?  Why does he even choose to betray his partner and stay with Camden in the first place? If I knew more about him, I might have been interested in his story.  He comes off as just a weird bad guy.

We also learn that Randy’s claustrophobic.  Yet, in a key scene where he’s in a closet, that fear isn’t exploited at all.

LS: Really? I thought the scene was well done. And the flaws didn’t bother me enough to ruin my enjoyment of the film at all.

MA: Well, as a result, I can’t recommend NAKED FEAR either.

LS: Man, you don’t like anything!

***

CHAPTER 4

(LS and MA are driving in a two-door Cutlass Supreme.)

LS: Which bring us to the last of the films in this box set, JOHNNY GRUESOME. Actually, GRUESOME is more of a music video than a movie. Set to the music of Giasone Italiano (who does a great job with the tunes, especially the song “Gruesome”), Lamberson uses the music video format to tell a condensed version of his novel JOHNNY GRUESOME, about a bad boy teenager who comes back from the dead to get revenge on everyone who ever crossed him. This one even has Erin Brown (Misty Mundae!) as Johnny’s girlfriend.

It works for what it is, and the songs are great – they really stuck in my head –  but it’s more of a trailer for a movie than an actual movie.

What did you think, Michael?

MA:  This is getting painful for me.  I was disappointed.  I mean, it’ s not bad, but after having read the novel, I would have preferred to see a feature length version of the story rather than a music video, but for what it is, it’s not bad.

LS: Yeah, I would have preferred a feature film as well. But you take what you can get.

MA: Though to be honest, I was very disappointed with Johnny’s make-up.  He wasn’t all that gruesome.  The book is much, much better.  Which brings me to a point I want to make, and that is, Greg Lamberson can write, just read his novels and you’ll know, but sadly, writing isn’t considered a priority when making movies, I guess.  It’s too bad.  Most really good movies usually have terrific scripts.  And if any of these films had had scripts equal to the level of writing in his novels, I think I would have liked them better.

LS: Y’know, I grew up on low-budget horror flicks, and I must have watched hundreds of them during the VHS days. So I guess I have a kind of affection for this kind of stuff. If nothing else, I’m a bit more forgiving of these kinds of movies if I feel the filmmaker tried to be ambitious. I don’t think these are great movies, but I do think they’re a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed watching all of them.

MA:  I grew up watching Hammer Films, so that might explain the difference in our tastes. Strong atmosphere, great acting, and great production values, that’s what I like.  Not that I can’t enjoy a different kind of horror movie, because I can, but that’s where I’m coming from.

LS: Which means you have no appreciation of “campy” humor.  That’s kind of sad.

MA: Not really.

LS: The DVD box set also includes director’s commentaries of the films, “behind-the-scenes” shorts, and even an interview with Robert Sabin and Mary Huner in celebration of SLIME CITY’s 20th Anniversary.

MA:  The interview with Sabin and Huner was my favorite of the specials on the DVDs.  It was fun to hear them speak about SLIME CITY all these years later.

LS:  Greg recently got done filming a sequel to SLIME CITY, called SLIME CITY MASSACRE. And while I enjoyed these films, I’m really curious to see how much his style has changed over the years – this is his first feature film since 1999, after all.

MA:  And while I didn’t enjoy these movies, I’m always looking forward to new horror, and so I’m also looking forward to SLIME CITY MASSACRE, though if I had to wager a guess, I’d say you probably will end up liking it more than me, but that’s okay.  Different strokes for different folks.

LS:  Can I ask you a question?

MA:  Sure.

LS:  You dislike so many of the movies we review.  Why do you even like horror?

MA:  Well, it’s a long story.  When I was a young boy, I was locked in a closet for hours on end—.

LS:  You, too?  Wasn’t that the best place to play as a kid?  And how about the crawl space underneath the house, with the worms and the rats?  Wasn’t that the best?

(LS and MA drive the two-door Cutlass Supreme into sunset.)

—END—

(Originally published on Fear Zone on 8/4/2009)

© Copyright 2009 by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

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BEST MOVIES OF 2008

Posted in 2008, Best Of Lists, Cinema Knife Fights, Special Columns with tags , , , , , , , on January 16, 2010 by knifefighter

(NOTE: Right now, Michael and I are working on our review of THE BOOK OF ELI. In the meantime, since people love lists, I thought I’d go back in time a little and post this “Best Of” column we did for 2008.  I’d meant to post it last night. And the BOOK OF ELI review goes up Monday morning. Have a good weekend! ~ LLS)

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: THE BEST OF 2008
by Michael Arruda and L. L. Soares

(THE SCENE: Orchestral music swells as MICHAEL ARRUDA and LL SOARES are dressed in tuxedos and seated inside a mad scientist’s laboratory, complete with bubbling test tubes, colorful beakers, flashing lights, and electronic sounds. They each hold a glass of champagne and a “Happy New Year” banner hangs behind them)

MA (lifting glass):  Happy New Year, everyone!

LS:  Yes, Happy New Year!

MA:  Welcome to a special edition of Cinema Knife Fight, where LL and I each choose our top 5 horror releases for 2008. The rules to this thing are simple. We reviewed a bunch of movies this year, and LL and I each had to come up with our top 5 favorites of the year. We’ll give you our 5, and of course, we’ll, eh hem, “comment” on each other’s selections. By luck of the draw, I go first, so, weighing in at #5 is—.

LS (interrupting):  Don’t forget the hardware, you goober.

MA:  Oh yes. As you can see, we’re here in the laboratory of one of our mad scientist friends, and he’s been generous enough to donate for our use today a time/place machine/device that we can use to travel to various locations to give you our top 5 picks in the settings which they so horrendously deserve. (He removes a small device from his pocket the size of a flash drive). Here we go!

Weighing in at #5, my pick for the 5th best horror theatrical release of 2008-  (MA presses a button on the time/place remote, and suddenly MA and LS find themselves on a dance floor at a high school prom) – PROM NIGHT!

(to LS):  Do you mind if I lead?

LS (moves to strike MA):  Get out of here!

(They retreat from the dance floor to a punch bowl area underneath disco lights, with Bee Gees music playing in background)

MA (to LS):  Now, I know you hated PROM NIGHT, but let me tell you why it’s one of my favorite horror films of the year. First of all, I went into the theater with zero expectations, other than I expected to hate PROM NIGHT, but I was surprised by a production that took itself very seriously. It’s a remake of a 1980s slasher flick with Jamie Lee Curtis, and it tells a rather unimaginative story about an obsessed teacher out to abduct/kill a high school student on the night of her prom. It had every reason to be awful, but it wasn’t.

Director Nelson McCormick shot the movie with clear professionalism, crafting scenes that looked good, and getting top performances from his actors. This was a movie that did not come across as cheap or poorly executed. I enjoyed the performances of all the young leads, especially Brittany Snow in the lead role. My favorite performance though, and in fact my favorite part of the whole movie, was Idris Elba as police detective Winn. He delivered an impassioned performance that was by far the best part of this movie.

PROM NIGHT was not an A+ horror film by any means, and actually played more like a crime drama than a horror flick, but it was well-acted and directed, and for me, provided solid entertainment and a few suspenseful thrills to boot.

LS: I would comment on this film, but I hated just about every detail of it: from acting to directing to the script. This movie wouldn’t even make my top 30 films of 2008, and I saw exactly 29 films in movie theaters last year.

(LS takes the device from MA and presses the button, taking them atop an Aztec pyramid in the middle of a jungle)

My number 5 choice for 2008 was THE RUINS. I was surprised how effective this movie was, despite its simplicity. The plot involves a group of young tourists (including Jena Malone and Laura Ramsey) who find themselves trapped on an ancient pyramid in Aztec country by some homicidal natives. Of course, the locals are the least of the kids’ troubles. The real menace is a form of sentient plant life that burrows under your skin and devours you whole. The best scene in this movie for me was when one of the kids drops down into a pit to find a missing cell phone. At the moment when we realize that the ringing is not a phone at all, but a flower imitating the sound, a chill runs down your spine. Just a really enjoyable horror flick.

Of course, while my review of THE RUINS was under the Cinema Knife Fight banner, it was one of the films I reviewed alone. I don’t know if you have any comments for it, unless you happened to catch it on DVD.

MA:  As a matter of fact, I did catch it on DVD, since I had read your review, and you had really liked it. While I enjoyed THE RUINS, it didn’t make my top 5 list. It was certainly creative and scary, but I found it too much of a downer to be thoroughly enjoyed.

(LS presses the button on the time device again, taking them outside a house in the 1960s. Screams are coming from a basement window)

LS : My number four film of 2008 was a tie between two films that didn’t get theatrical releases, except maybe on the festival circuit, and they’re both based on Jack Ketchum novels. THE GIRL NEXT DOOR and RED. These two low-budget adaptations made their source material proud with good acting, solid scripts, and focused direction. GIRL NEXT DOOR might edge RED out slightly for me, but both films have a lot to recommend them. They both also deserved a proper theatrical release.

GIRL NEXT DOOR is the tale of Meg (Blythe Auffarth), a girl who (along with her younger sister) is put in the care of psychotic woman named Ruth Chandler (Blanche Baker) when their parents can’t care for them. Ruth proceeds to put the girls through hell on earth, especially Meg, who she ties up in her cellar and lets her kids (and the entire neighborhood) torture mercilessly. Based on a true story, THE GIRL NEXT DOOR is both well done and hard to watch at the same time.

RED is the tale of Avery Ludlow, a man whose old dog is killed by a group of vicious kids in rural Maine. When he tries to get justice for the meaningless death of his best friend, it’s a long road to satisfaction; one that ratchets the violence up more and more as it goes on. Brian Cox is especially terrific as Avery.

At one time Ketchum’s work might have been considered unfilmable (especially THE GIRL NEXT DOOR)  but this has since been proven wrong. Between these two films and THE LOST, films based on Jack Ketchum’s novels so far have been above-average and powerful. Let’s hope that Mr. K continues to have such good luck with movie versions of his books.

MA:  I didn’t see RED, and while I liked THE GIRL NEXT DOOR, I didn’t include it on my list since it wasn’t a theatrical release. I will say that what I liked most about THE GIRL NEXT DOOR was that it took a deplorable topic and presented it in an honest authentic way. This was a film that could have been exploitative, but it’s not. It succeeds in what it sets out to do, which is to disturb, but for the right reasons. THE GIRL NEXT DOOR is not a pornographic horror film- it’s a sad, adult drama.

May I have the time machine device please? (LS hands MA the device). Thanks. Okay, time for my #4. (presses buttons on miniature time machine gizmo and receives an electric shock.)  (screams in pain).

LS (laughing):  I couldn’t help myself. Here’s the real one.

MA:  I should have seen that one coming.

(MA presses buttons, and he and LS find themselves in a dark alleyway in front of dumpster with sticker that reads “Please do not dump human remains here.”)

LS:  I remember this place.

MA:  Yep, we were just here recently. My pick for the 4th best movie of 2008 is PUNISHER WAR ZONE. This is yet another movie that I had zero expectations for. In fact, I expected to hate it. Even though I like action movies, I figured this one would be all gore and no substance. I was pleasantly mistaken.

The film was gory, incredibly so, with heads sliced off and human organs eaten by a crazy baddie in the movie, but this tale of unstoppable vigilante Frank Castle (played with unremitting tenacity by Ray Stevenson) hell-bent on killing any and all gangsters in his way, was made even better by director Lexi Alexander who filmed some extremely slick action sequences, and by screenwriters Nick Santora, Art Marcum, and Matt Holloway, who pulled off a neat trick by mixing both realistic and comic book characters with believable results.

PUNISHER WAR ZONE is an adult, R-rated action/horror film in every sense of the words, and with a dash of intelligence sprinkled in, it’s one of the best of the year.

LS: PUNISHER WAR ZONE was actually number 3 on my list, so I liked it a bit more than you did. While our fearless leader disagreed with our glowing review of this film, it remains one of my favorite viewing experiences in 2008. I don’t know how “believable” it was, but with its over-the-top violence and unrelenting pace, PWZ was a live-action cartoon for adults, that never lets up. And, as a long-time fan of the character, it was nice to finally see a movie version that didn’t try to soft-pedal Frank Castle and make him some kind of mainstream superhero type. The Punisher is not a superhero. This isn’t IRON MAN. It worked hard to earn its R rating, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

MA:  My pick for #3 is HELLBOY II:  THE GOLDEN ARMY. The reason this movie scored so high on my list was the character of Hellboy (played by Ron Perlman). I love this guy, and the way Perlman plays him. I wish he had his own TV series. (presses button on remote, and MA and LS are suddenly inside Hellboy’s room, which is full of TV sets playing various classic horror movies and empty cans of Tecate beer). We are inside Hellboy’s room at the Bureau for Paranormal Research, and as you can see by the surroundings, he’s a cool guy.

In HELLBOY II:  THE GOLDEN ARMY, crime fighters Hellboy (Ron Perlman), Abe Sapien (Doug Jones) and Hellboy’s pyrokinetic girlfriend Liz (Selma Blair) take on an underworld prince name Nuada (Luke Goss) who sees it as his destiny to awaken a golden army and conquer the human race. Most of the action in this movie takes place in this underground kingdom.

HELLBOY II is high fantasy, and as directed by Guillermo del Toro, it’s OK, but what lifts this film to #3 status is Hellboy, Hellboy, Hellboy. He’s the reason to see this film, and he’s the reason this film works so well. When he’s on screen, the movie is a hoot, and when he’s not, it’s average.

I think there’s still a Hellboy classic waiting to be made. HELLBOY II:  THE GOLDEN ARMY isn’t it, but the character as played by Ron Perlman is a star, and he carries this film all the way.

LS: I liked HELLBOY 2 a lot, but not enough for it to make my Top 5. It would make the Number 9 spot on my Top 10, though. And I agree that Ron Perlman was terrific as the lead character. I also love director Guillermo del Toro’s visual style and terrific imagination.

Well since PUNISHER WAR ZONE was my Number 3 pick, I’ll go on to my Number 2 film of 2008, which happens to be another movie I reviewed alone for Fear Zone. This time, it’s Dario Argento’s film MOTHER OF TEARS.

(He takes device from MA and pushes the button, setting off a cartoon explosion and a cloud of dust. When the dust clears, there’s a hole in the floor where LS had been standing).

MA:  Payback time.

(LS climbs out of hole and brushes himself off. He looks into hole and waves.)

MA:  Know someone down there?

LS:  I have friends in low places. Now, where was I?

MA:  MOTHER OF TEARS.

LS:  Oh yeah. (presses button on the device and they find themselves in a cavernous room where a crowd of witches are shouting)

LS (yells to be heard over the crowd): MOTHER OF TEARS is a movie that has caused much heated discussion in the horror community. I haven’t had to defend a movie this much since the original HOSTEL came out. A lot of Argento’s fans were disappointed with this one. After a 28-year wait for him to finally conclude his “Three Mothers” trilogy, a lot of people were waiting for something as intense and powerful as the classic SUSPIRIA. But MOTHER OF TEARS is the exact opposite. It’s wild, campy fun, and at times almost plays more like a comedy than a horror movie. It’s Dario at his most playful, and while the film does have its shortcomings, it actually rises above its flaws in pure entertainment value. And it doesn’t skimp on the gore.

MOTHER is the tale of Sarah Mandy (Asia Argento), a woman who finds out she is the last line of defense when Mater Lachrymarum (Moran Atias), the demonic Mother of Tears, is released upon the world.

This is easily the most fun at the movies I’ve had all year, and I left the theater with a goofy grin on my face. While it was different from the classic Argento films we’d grown up on, it was still better than most of his films of the last decade. I continue to stand by this one.

MA:  I didn’t see MOTHER OF TEARS, so I can’t comment on it. I did like SUSPIRIA though.

Would you mind handing me the time machine remote?  Thanks. (inspects device closely). Okay, my pick for #2, is QUARANTINE. We’re supposed to travel to a darkened apartment building. Maybe we could just stay here.

LS:  Press the button, you wimp!

MA:  Okay, here goes. (presses button. They suddenly find themselves inside a room with a pole and a female stripper—-)  Oops. Wrong button.

LS:  What film is this?

MA:  I don’t know. Nothing we reviewed this year.

LS:  It looks like ZOMBIE STRIPPERS. Isn’t that Jenna Jameson?

MA:  I don’t know, but we can’t stay. (Quickly presses buttons and they transfer to dark hotel lobby.)  This is more like it. I chose QUARANTINE as my #2 because it was one of the scarier films I sat through this year. I remember feeling mighty uncomfortable as I watched it.

QUARANTINE is the story of television reporter Angela Vidal (Jennifer Carpenter) who, along with her cameraman Scott (Steve Harris), spends a night filming a Los Angeles fire department in action. They accompany the fire department on a routine call to an apartment building to treat an ill woman. The call turns out to be anything but routine.

Angela, the firemen, the police on the scene, and the building’s residents suddenly find themselves quarantined, surrounded by government officials who will even use force to keep anyone from leaving the building. Inside the building, the occupants are plagued by a super-intense strain of rabies, which turns its victims into murderous zombie-like creatures.

The thrills in this movie were effective and intense. And while I was very disappointed with the ending, or to be more specific, with the fact that the trailers for this film actually did the bone-headed thing of giving away the ending, it didn’t ruin the movie for me. To be specific, the film worked, even though I knew in advance how it was going to end.

If you like to be scared, and if you’re at all afraid of the dark, then QUARANTINE is the movie for you.

LS: I liked QUARANTINE a lot, too. It’s non-stop from beginning to end, and Jennifer Carpenter is terrific as the reporter on the scene. Unfortunately, QUARANTINE would be Number 6 on my list, just missing the Top 5.

MA:  Well, the time has come. We’ve reached Number One. Drum roll please.

(Drum roll plays)

My pick for the #1 horror movie of 2008, you’ve got to go back to the beginning, back to January, with the release of CLOVERFIELD. (Presses button. They are suddenly on NYC streets. People are running and screaming, “Oh my God!  Oh my God!”). (turns to LS):  Stop that!

LS (grimacing and making scary faces, foaming at the mouth, etc.)  Sorry. I can’t help myself. I just like to work a crowd.

MA:  Anyway, my pick for the best of the year is no doubt J.J. Abrams’ CLOVERFIELD. Far and above the most entertaining yet scary film of the year, this tale of a giant monster loose in New York City works both as a modern day giant monster movie and an allegory for the events of 9/11.

The acting, the directing, the writing, were all superior. Some people had difficulty with the hand-held camera work, but not me. I thought this worked incredibly well, and when an unseen narrator can be one of the most entertaining characters in a movie full of visual thrills, that’s saying a lot.

The story, for those of you who haven’t seen it, is about a small group of friends who are having a going away party for their friend Rob (Michael Shahl-David) who is leaving to work in Japan. His best friend Hud (T.J. Miller)— I said this in our original review, and I’ll repeat it here- Hud is probably the funniest and most likable character I’ve ever NOT seen in a movie, since he’s behind the camera nearly the whole film—-is filming the party when the lights go out and suddenly all hell breaks loose as a giant “thing” attacks the city. Hud continues filming and what follows is CLOVERFIELD.

My favorite part of CLOVERFIELD is that it does two opposite things well. On the one hand, it’s one of the best giant monster movies ever made, and on the other hand, it doesn’t play like a giant monster movie, which so often come off as goofy. CLOVERFIELD is anything but goofy. It’s a hard-hitting, intelligent, very likeable adult tale that is also downright frightening. Hands down, it’s the best horror movie of the year. If you see one horror movie from 2008, make it CLOVERFIELD.

LS: CLOVERFIELD was a lot of fun, and it was a clever idea to give us a giant monster movie from the point of view of the poor people whose city is getting trampled. I loved this movie, too, and I agree it’s one of the year’s best horror movies. But it would only make it to Number 8 on my Top 10 list.

It’s funny that your choice for the top film was one of the first movies we reviewed in 2008. My choice for Number 1 is actually the last movie I reviewed last year for Fear Zone, and it’s another one I reviewed alone, LET THE RIGHT ONE IN.

(LS clicks the time device and they stand in the snow outside a housing complex)

This Swedish vampire film is the story of  Eli (Lina Leandersson), an ancient bloodsucker trapped in the body of a 12-year old girl. Atmospheric and quiet, with sudden bursts of bloody violence, LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is all about alienation, loss, and the need to connect with at least one other person who understands you, as Eli makes friends with a bullied and friendless boy named Oskar (Kare Hedebrant). The emotions in this one are dead on, and the acting is superb, even though the two main characters are children. Easily the most impressive, unexpected, and intense movie I’ve seen this year. I loved it.

MA:  Sounds good. Well, that about wraps things up. Real quick, before we go, what’s your pick for the worst film of the year? Mine was the kids “horror” movie IGOR. Hard to believe that a kids’ movie could be yawn-fest boring, but this one was. How about you?

LS: There were lots of awful movies in 2008. IGOR would make my list, but I thought your beloved PROM NIGHT was much worse.

The absolute worst film we had to review in 2008, though, had to be X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE. Not only because the movie itself was dismal, with a script that would have been below-average for the TV series, but because it took iconic characters from a once-great television show and pretty much sucked out any remaining good will we might have had for them, leaving us with an empty husk. Nothing else we saw in 2008 came close to this turkey.

MA:  I don’t know. I think I could sit through X-FILES with less pain than having to hear those songs from IGOR again! Well, that’s it for 2008. Time to move forward. It’s a new year!

LS: Let’s hope it’s a good year for horror films.

(MA reaches over to shake LS’ hand. There is a huge electric shock followed by a total blackout.)

LS voice:  Gotcha!

MA voice:  Now you went and done it!  I can’t see the buttons on this thing to get us out of this place.

LS voice:  Hit any button.

MA voice:  Okay.

(MA and LS suddenly find themselves in a movie theater).

MA (smiling): How about that?

LS:  Nice work. Now pass the popcorn.

—END—

(Originally published on Fear Zone on 1/2/2009)

© Copyright 2009 by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

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BEST MOVIES OF THE DECADE – LL’S LIST

Posted in 2010, Best Of Lists, LL Soares Reviews, Special Columns with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 14, 2010 by knifefighter

BEST HORROR MOVIES OF THE DECADE 2000-2009
by L.L. Soares

(NOTE: The thing about “Best of the Decade” lists is that you’re always going to miss something. Ten years is a long time. But I did my best trying to cobble together a list of what I thought were the best movies of the 00’s. One movie I regret I couldn’t put on the list was Takashi Miike’s AUDITION. I thought it was within the time frame, but it came out in 1999, and just missed making it onto this list. ~LLS)


10. WOLF CREEK (2005)

One of the bleakest serial killer movies to show in theaters in a long time. This one actually opened on Christmas Day as part of a very dark publicity stunt. Set in the Australian outback, this one features a Crocodile Dundee-type guy named Mick Taylor (John Jarratt) whose hobby is killing tourists. Vicious stuff. Directed with real atmosphere by Greg McLean.

9. MAY (2002)

A very strange girl who has trouble making friends decides to “make” her own. Featuring an unforgettable performance by Angela Bettis as May, and a great supporting performance by the underrated Anna Faris. Director Lucky McKee gave us a really quirky, enjoyable film.

8. MOTHER OF TEARS (2008)

Another movie I’ve gotten a lot of grief for defending. Director Dario Argento’s last installment in his “Three Mothers” trilogy is one of the most fun movies I saw all decade. Most people were hoping for a serious, dark masterpiece like his first film in the series, SUSPIRIA (1977), which many people consider his best film. But MOTHER OF TEARS takes off in a totally different direction, and at times is absurd and downright campy. Dario’s daughter Asia stars as a woman who was born to fight the evil Mother of Tears, a powerful witch bent on world domination. Don’t take it too seriously, and you’ll have a good time.

7. THE MIST (2007)

Frank Darabont’s mostly faithful adaptation of Stephen King’s beloved novella adds a very dark ending that took major balls. A movie that has actually grown on me more over time. A weird mist covers a Maine town and brings lots of monsters along with it. A supermarket full of people fight to survive hell on earth. With a strong lead performance by Thomas Jane.

6. GINGER SNAPS (2000)

The best werewolf movie of the decade told the story of two Goth sisters, Brigitte (Emily Perkins) and Ginger (Katherine Isabelle) who live on the dark side for real when Ginger gets bitten by a werewolf. Brigitte tries to find a cure, as things go from bad to worse, and high school will never be the same. Smart and well-acted, this little movie, directed by John Fawcett, made a big splash at the time. It also spawned two interesting sequels (one was actually a prequel).

5. HOSTEL PART II (2007)

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten more flack for a movie choice than I did when I praised Eli Roth’s HOSTEL movies. But I really enjoyed them. These are the ones (along with the inferior SAW movies) that started the whole controversy over what is now called “torture porn.” The first movie, from 2005, about backpacking American kids who travel around Europe and end up as fodder for a secret society that pays to kill humans, was an interesting surprise. But it’s HOSTEL PART II that is the superior movie – and is also a very dark comedy – especially the plotline about two average-seeming guys (Roger Bart and Richard Burgi) who aren’t victims, but who give us a peek at the kinds of people who would actually pay money for the experience of killing someone.

4. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008)

Easily the best vampire movie of the decade, LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is a Swedish film about Oskar (Kare Hedebrant), a pale, skinny kid who doesn’t have any friends and gets picked on regularly by bullies. It doesn’t help that his parents have just split up. Enter his new neighbor, Eli (Lina Leandersson), a strange girl who only comes out at night and doesn’t go to school.  Oh yeah, and she’s a vampire, and she has even darker secrets than that. But Oskar is willing to overlook it all for the sake of finally having a friend. If you’re a fan of the TWILIGHT films, this is probably not going to appeal to you. It’s quite dark, and often moving. Director Tomas Alfredson gave us a true classic in 2008.

3. INSIDE (2007)

This one, along with MARTYRS, shows that France has been turning out some of the best horror movies of the decade. Directed by Alexandre Bustillo & Julian Maury, INSIDE takes place over the course of one long, agonizing night, as a pregnant woman named Sarah (Alysson Paradis), all alone in her house, is repeatedly attacked by a psychotic woman (Beatrice Dalle) who wants her baby. Calling this movie intense is an understatement.

2. THE DEVIL’S REJECTS (2005)

I liked Rob Zombie’s debut movie, HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES (2003), a lot, but it was flawed. What the hell, it was his first time directing. But then in 2005, he came out with this sequel and it blew me away. He turned everything up several notches in the story of a psycho family (Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, and Sheri Moon Zombie) that goes on a killing spree while a sheriff (William Forsythe), who is just as insane, tracks them down. It was a non-stop thrill ride in the spirit of the old grindhouse flicks of the 1970s. I loved every second of it. While I’ve been disappointed with his stuff since (his HALLOWEEN movies), DEVIL’S REJECTS proves Rob Z has the talent. I just hope he makes something this good again.

And..Number 1


MARTYRS (2009)

This was also my pick for the best movie of 2009, but somehow it topped this list to. The movie’s imagery just stays with me. It’s the disturbing story of a girl who is kidnapped as a child, escapes, ends up in an orphanage, and seeks revenge once she turns 18.  Her name is Lucie (played by Mylene Jampanoi).  The girl she meets at the orphanage who sticks by her no matter what is Anna (Morjana Alaoui). What unfolds is a tale of revenge and madness, and then the movie goes in a completely different direction you weren’t expecting. The last part is very hard to sit through. But that’s why I loved it.

Director Pascal Laugier actually apologizes for making the film in the introduction on the DVD. But he has nothing to apologize for.

***

TARANTINO FILMS

Love him or hate him, I think Quentin Tarantino is in a category by himself. And he turned out three of the best movies of his career in the 00’s (* and one fun experiment).

KILL BILL VOLUME 1 (2003)

KILL BILL VOLUME 2 (2004)

GRINDHOUSE (2007) * in collaboration with Robert Rodriguez

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (2009)

***

HONORABLE MENTIONS (Horror and Non-Horror Films)
Some other movies I enjoyed a lot last decade:

PUNISHER WAR ZONE (2008) dir. Lexi Alexander

WATCHMEN (2009) dir. Zack Snyder

CLOVERFIELD (2008) dir. Matt Reeves

SIN CITY (2005) dir. Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller

ANTICHRIST (2009) dir. Lars von Trier

JACK KETCHUM’S THE GIRL NEXT DOOR (2007) dir. Gregory Wilson

IRREVERSIBLE (2002) dir. Gaspar Noe

ICHI THE KILLER (2001) dir. Takashi Miike

DEVIL’S BACKBONE (2001) dir. Guillermo del Toro

HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES (2003) dir. Rob Zombie

PAN’S LABYRINTH (2006) dir. Guillermo del Toro

HEADER (2006) dir. Archibald Flancranstin

TOKYO GORE POLICE (2009) dir. Yoshihiro Nishimura

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BEST MOVIES OF THE DECADE – MICHAEL’S LIST

Posted in 2010, Best Of Lists, Michael Arruda Reviews, Special Columns with tags , , , , , on January 13, 2010 by knifefighter

Michael Arruda’s THE BEST OF THE DECADE:  2000-2009

Many of the genre movies I watched over the past 10 years were not horror, but rather a variation of science fiction/fantasy/action. Thus, I have comprised three lists:  My Top 5 “Non-horror” Genre Films of the Decade, My Top 10 Horror Movies of the Decade, and finally, a brief list of Honorable Mentions. Let’s get started:

***

TOP 5 NON-HORROR GENRE FILMS OF 2000-2009

5. WATCHMEN (2009)

My CKF partner L.L. Soares calls this the best superhero movie ever made. I find it flawed with some uneven pacing, but the parts that work rock. This is an exceptional movie, a superhero tale for adults that does not disappoint.

4. AVATAR (2009)

More an event than a movie, the 3-D effects are spectacular. It made me wish all movies were filmed in 3-D. Its story is hardly original, but director James Cameron pushes all the right buttons with this one, and then some.

3. STAR WARS III:  REVENGE OF THE SITH (2005)

The best of the second round of STAR WARS movies, and a worthy rival of the original three, this extremely dark tale completes the story of Darth Vader’s origins, giving new meaning and depth to the original STAR WARS movies.

2. THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY (2001, 2002, 2003)

These three movies by writer/director Peter Jackson taken as a whole were such a tremendous cinematic experience, that I felt I had literally entered the mystical world of hobbits and wizards. Among the most engrossing, exciting, and entertaining movie experiences ever.

1. THE DARK KNIGHT (2008)

This is the best superhero movie ever made. A nonstop chaotic tale driven by Heath Ledger’s insane performance as The Joker, this one transcends the genre. It’s one of the best movies of the decade, period. It will be long remembered as a classic of the cinema for years to come.

*****

TOP 10 HORROR FILMS OF 2000-2009

10. THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (2009)

I did not want this brutal tale of parental revenge on my Top 10 List, but I can’t deny that of the many horror movies I saw over the decade, this one is one of the best. It’s a hard- hitting adult tale of grueling survival, and it packs a real punch. The crowded audience I saw it with at the theater was one of the more frightened, uncomfortable audiences I’d been a part of in years.

9. GODZILLA, MOTHRA, KING GHIDORAH (2001)

Known as GMK, this is by far the most entertaining Godzilla movie ever made, and with the possible exception of the original back in 1954, it’s the best movie in the series. Not a kids’ movie like so many of the others, this very adult take on everybody’s favorite giant monster is a keeper: a Godzilla movie that even non-fans will enjoy.

8. JEEPERS CREEPERS (2001)

This is one creepy movie, with a terrific new menace known as The Creeper. Very scary, the film is also memorable for its bold, unconventional ending.

7. FRANKENSTEIN (2004)

Obviously, this story has been filmed so many times it’s not funny, but this faithful adaptation of Mary Shelley’s enduring tale is surprisingly effective. Blessed with solid performances and a memorable monster (played by Luke Goss), this one’s a must see, even for those of us who have seen countless versions of this story.

6. ALIEN VS. PREDATOR:  REQUIEM (2007)

I can’t believe this movie made my list, but chock it up to “monster movie guilty pleasure.”  This film features two classic creatures in mortal combat, is set in small town U.S.A., has compelling characters, and is scary to boot. Can’t beat that!  Much better than the first ALIEN VS. PREDATOR (2004).

5. ZOMBIELAND (2009)

Yes, there have been far too many zombie movies this decade, but ZOMBIELAND was one of the best. Full of playful humor, the film works so well because it’s character- driven, and so the humor doesn’t grow old. Very funny.

4. SHAUN OF THE DEAD (2004)

It’s only fitting that in the decade of the zombie movie two zombie movies made it to my Top Ten List. Even funnier than ZOMBIELAND, SHAUN OF THE DEAD boasts humor worthy of Monty Python. If you see only one zombie movie from this past decade, you might want to make it this one.

3. ORPHAN (2009)

The best horror film from 2009 is a well-crafted adult tale where everyone in the movie acts the way they should act. No dumb solo treks down dark corridors in this one. Sure, it’s another “evil child” story, but it’s presented with near flawless precision by everyone involved. Well worth the price of admission.

2. 30 DAYS OF NIGHT (2007)

The scariest vampire movie in a long time. A hard hitting violent tale of vampires descending upon an Alaskan town where the sun has set for 30 days, and the townspeople’s desperate fight for survival. Not for the squeamish. Based on the comic by Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith.

1. CLOVERFIELD (2008)

I love monster movies. Trouble is, the good ones are so few and far between. Not so here. CLOVERFIELD, a tale of a giant monster rampaging through New York City, is not only a fun giant monster movie, it’s unnerving and scary. For a monster movie to succeed in actually scaring a modern day audience is a tremendous accomplishment. The story is told through the eyes of one of the characters holding a hand-held video camera, as everything we see is through the lens of the camera. The fact that the characters in this movie are so enjoyable is a testament to the fine storytelling traits on display here. It also works on the allegorical level, referring to the tragic events of 9/11. Arguably, the scariest and most intense giant monster movie ever made.

***

HONORABLE MENTIONS (in alphabetical order):

DOG SOLDIERS (2002)

EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS (2002)

HELLBOY (1 & 2) (2004 & 2008)

KING KONG (2006)

SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE (2000)

THE STEPFATHER (2009)

—END—

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BEST MOVIES OF 2009

Posted in 2010, Best Of Lists, Cinema Knife Fights, Special Columns with tags , , , , , , , , on January 1, 2010 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: THE BEST OF 2009
by Michael Arruda and L. L. Soares

(MICHAEL ARRUDA and L.L. SOARES are dressed as astronauts and stand before a huge rocket ship. They wave to cameras and friends as they embark on a trip into outer space)

MA: Goodbye everyone! Don’t forget to write.

LS:  They have mailmen in outer space?

MA: It’s the wireless age, my friend.

LS:  I didn’t bring my laptop.

MA:  Just use the ship’s computers.  This is 2010. We don’t need no stinkin’ envelopes!  But before we go, we have to give the readers a rundown of our favorite movies of 2009.

GIRL in an evening gown steps forward and hands them a bunch of envelopes)

LS: You were saying about envelopes?

MA (Impersonating Groucho Marx, with a mustache and a cigar): You take the envelopes, I’ll take the girl! (Flirts with her.  She smiles and walks away).

LS: Well one movie I really loved this year wasn’t horror or science-fiction. It was Quentin Tarantino’s INGLORIOUS BASTERDS. And while I can’t list it here, I thought I’d mention it anyway, because it was so damn good.

MA: You raise an interesting point. We review a lot of movies during the year, and although most are horror movies, some are not. For example, we also review science- fiction and fantasy films for CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT, and so I’m not against including movies that aren’t strictly horror on our list.

LS: Okay, okay. Stop being so understanding. Moving right along— we’ll do the same thing we did last year. Michael and I will each come up with our top 5 films of the year, and then we’ll comment on each other’s selections.

This was actually a hard one, choosing just five.

MA: Not so hard for me. The majority of movies we reviewed this year I didn’t recommend, so there weren’t that many I wanted to include on this list

LS: Well, my #5 pick for best movie of the year (rips open an envelope with a big “5” on it) was ZOMBIELAND, starring Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg. This is a big surprise for me, because I thought I was sick of zombie movies. I guess I wasn’t. ZOMBIELAND puts a fresh spin on the apocalyptic zombie plotline. The movie has great characters (especially Harrelson and Eisenberg as “Columbus” and “Tallahassee”), lots of sly humor, and moves at a really good pace. It even has a terrific guest appearance by Bill Murray (a spoiler we didn’t reveal in our original review). I just had a lot of fun with this one.

(LS opens the glass visor of his helmet to eat a Twinkie)

MA: I liked ZOMBIELAND a lot too, even more than you, I think. It made my list as well, so I’ll reserve comment on this one until later.

(WOODY HARRELSON pops up as “Tallahassee”)

WOODY: Well, HOT DOG!

LS: I thought you’d like that.

MA: Okay, now it’s my turn!

(Rips open an envelope) Coming in at #5 on my list is WATCHMEN. This is one of those movies that falls into the category of not being a horror movie. It’s an action movie about superheroes, but I feel comfortable including it on this list because it’s dark, and hands down, it’s simply better than a lot of the horror movies I saw this year.

LS: We reviewed it for Cinema Knife Fight, so of course it counts.

MA: In our original review, I called it a movie about masked heroes rather than a superhero movie, a comment you scoffed at…

LS: Because you’re an idiot!

MA:  Okay, well then, let’s just call every movie about people fighting crime a superhero movie.  They didn’t have any superpowers!  What superpowers did they have?  Except for Doctor Manhattan they didn’t have any!  They just wore masks.

LS:  Batman didn’t have any superpowers.

MA:  Batman was a friggin genius detective.  Look, I made a statement and I’m sticking by it.  (Looks out at crowd.  They’re all wearing masks and waving).  Don’t rub it in.

Anyway, my point was it was different than your traditional superhero movie. It was a drama about people wearing masks who fight crime, and it reminded me more of a movie like THE SEVEN SAMURAI (1954) than say IRON MAN. This observation isn’t a knock on the film. In fact, it was one of the reasons I liked it so much.

I also liked its offbeat narrative style, where it jumped back and forth through time to tell its story, and while I didn’t like all the hero characters, my two favorite by far were Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) and the Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan). Though at times I felt the film suffered from poor pacing and dragged somewhat, I really enjoyed this movie and thought it was fun to watch a very adult take on the superhero— er, masked hero— genre.

(RORSCACH pops up behind them)

RORSCACH: I’m not trapped in this column with you. You’re trapped in this column with ME!

LS: Yeah, yeah. Hey, I liked it a lot, too, which is no surprise considering I am a big fan of the original graphic novel by writer Alan Moore and artist Dave Gibbons. The movie stays pretty faithful to the source material. Just like when I read the comics, Rorschach is my favorite character, too, and I loved every scene he was in. I’m also a big fan of Doctor Manhattan – the only character with actual super powers in the movie. Everyone else is a costumed crime fighter, but only Doc is the one with the real “abilities beyond those of mortal men.”

MA (Rips open envelope): My pick for #4 was the remake of THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT. This one really surprised me, because I fully expected to hate it. I did not like the original Wes Craven version back in 1972, so why would I like this one?  Well, I liked this one because it wasn’t as raw and raunchy as the original.

I found myself really caring for the characters, and I felt genuine suspense during the second half of this movie, worrying about what would happen to the girl’s parents if they were found out by the criminals. Sure, some of the scenes went over the top in this one (microwave, anyone?), but for the most part THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT was a hard-hitting adult tale of terror that really delivered the goods in terms of scaring its audience. I saw it in a packed theater, and it had been a long time since I had experienced an audience this frightened by a movie. There were some genuine group screams and gasps, and for a movie to do that to an audience, that’s saying something.

This was a film that really could have been exploitative, but an intelligent screenplay and smart direction kept it from going that route.  Rather than being a simple tale of vicious revenge, THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT evolves into a story of horrifying survival.

LS:  While the remake of LAST HOUSE didn’t make my Top 5 list, it would be my choice for the Best Remake of the Year. Unlike you, I’m a big fan of the gritty original and didn’t think they could pull it off, but the remake is more like a crime thriller than an over-the-top revenge film, and it works really well as a completely separate movie, rather than a by-the-numbers remake. But I still say the original film is a genuine classic.

For my next choice (rips open an envelope with a “4” on it), my #4 movie of the year is a tie between DISTRICT 9 and WATCHMEN.

MA: A tie? Gotta pick one.

LS:  Okay, how about this one? (holds out one finger and tries to poke MA in the eye, but he pulls down the visor on his helmet just in time)

MA: Nyah, nyah!

LS: Oh, a wise guy! Well, I told you it was tough to just choose five movies.

DISTRICT 9 was my favorite science-fiction movie of the year. The story of aliens who are stranded in a shantytown in South Africa works on a lot of levels, from social commentary to a just plain fun alien creatures movie. I thought the way the aliens looked was really inspired (they certainly weren’t cute) and I found the storyline to be exciting and, overall, pretty intelligent (although there are some holes in logic).

(An ALIEN from DISTRICT 9 stumbles past them, chugging a can of cat food)

MA:  I liked DISTRICT 9 a lot too, and it came in at #6 on my list, just missing the Top 5. I think you liked it more than I did. I found it a bit too depressing for my taste. Now, it’s not that I can’t enjoy a depressing movie, because I certainly can, but as DISTRICT 9 turned to melodrama during its second half, I thought it would have worked better had it not been so grim early on.

LS:  I liked it just fine.

The other half of my choice for #4 is WATCHMEN, easily one of my all-time favorite superhero films. The original graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons is a monumental classic in mainstream comics, and the movie doesn’t screw around with it too much. Moore’s storyline tried to consider what it would really be like if costumed heroes were part of our everyday lives, and the movie is often pretty dark. I really enjoyed this one.

MA:  And since I picked it as my #5, I enjoyed it as well.

LS: Is it my turn again?

MA: Yep.

LS: (Rips open another envelope with a big “3” on it) My # 3 movie of the year would be the roller-coaster ride which is TOKYO GORE POLICE

MA (Barfs into his astronaut helmet):  Excuse me. I’ll be right back. Just the mere mention of that movie (Barfs again).

LS: While you had a problem with the gore, I thought it was a completely over-the-top cartoon come to life. It’s so bizarre and so frenetic that I don’t know how anyone could take it seriously or be offended by it. The story of a special ops team that fights creatures that have mutated in extreme ways (we’re talking severe body modification here) is a lot of fun and features a terrific performance by Eihi Shiina as the main policewoman, Ruka. I wanted to see this movie since I first heard the title months before, and it totally lived up to my expectations.

MA (Returns with a new helmet):  It’s not so much that I took it seriously or was offended by it, but I didn’t get it. Why do I want to spend 90 minutes of my time watching silly senseless gore?  I didn’t find it exciting, and I didn’t find it funny. Compared to the humor in ZOMBIELAND, for example, a movie that was gory and funny, it didn’t come close.  So, I didn’t like it at all.

LS: I thought it was a lot of fun.

MA: And, right on cue (Rips open another envelope), my #3 pick was in fact ZOMBIELAND. Like you, I was surprised I liked this one, because I’ve had it up to here with zombie movies as well, but it was a good movie.

(WOODY HARRELSON pops up again)

WOODY: Well, HOT DOG!

MA: I thought the humor in this one really worked, and I laughed an awful lot. The main reason this one worked so well was that the humor wasn’t relegated to the zombies. There was more to the humor here than shooting zombies in the head. The characters in this film were well-defined and purdy darn funny.

I thought this movie had a sense of playfulness about it that kept the humor fresh and the story lively. If you see one zombie movie this year, make it ZOMBIELAND.

LS:  Well, we agree on this one.

MA  (Rips  open another envelope):  My # 2 movie of the year would be ORPHAN, and since my #1 pick technically isn’t a horror film, ORPHAN even though it comes in at #2, is probably my pick for the best horror film of the year.

I really liked this one. I thought it had an outstanding cast, which included Vera Farmiga, Peter Sarsgaard, CCH Pounder, Aryana Engineer, Jimmy Bennett, and in the lead, as the little devil child herself, Isabelle Fuhrman. But what I liked best about ORPHAN was the screenplay by David Johnson. Johnson wrote an intelligent tale in which people act the way they’re supposed to act. As a result, in spite of being a horror movie, ORPHAN is a pretty realistic tale, even with its twist ending.

I found this one strong throughout. It tells a gripping story, and it’s frightening to boot. Definitely a must-see horror movie.

LS:  I liked ORPHAN, and I thought Isabelle Fuhrman was amazing as the devil child, but I didn’t like it enough to put it on my Top 5 list.

(The kid from ORPHAN throws at tomato at LS, splattering his helmet. MA gives her a thumbs up. She then fires a tomato at MA’s helmet as well, spattering him, too. LS gives her the finger).

LS (Rips open an envelope with a “2” on it): My #2  movie of the year is one we didn’t review together for Cinema Knife Fight, but which I was pretty much blown away by, Lars von Trier’s transgressive masterpiece, ANTICHRIST.

What I loved about this movie was that it was the exact opposite of an accessible, fun, mainstream film. It was extremely dark and depressing, it was disturbing, it was gory. It had terrific but terrifying performances by Willem DaFoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg as a couple grieving over the death of their young son. DaFoe’s character is a psychiatrist trying to heal his wife’s pain, and Gainsbourg plays a woman who is descending into complete madness. A lot of the imagery is quite extreme, and it’s not for the squeamish. But for me, this is exactly what a horror movie should be. It should get a visceral reaction out of you. It should haunt you long after the final credits have come onscreen.

MA:  Really?  I thought that’s what the Nightly News was for?  Seriously, that’s why I don’t like the same movies as you, because I get my visceral reactions from the sick stuff that really happens in the world. I don’t want to get it from the movies as well, but I understand your point. That being said, I didn’t see ANTICHRIST (what a surprise!) so I can’t comment on it.

LS: Yeah, we have very different philosophies as far as what horror movies should do. You think they should be entertaining, and offer some scares. I think the best ones are the movies that really leave a mark on us, long after we’ve left the movie theater. What’s the difference between that and the Nightly News? Well, for one thing, movies aren’t real, so no matter how rough they get, they’re really works of imagination. So nobody really gets hurt.

But I’ll admit, my choices for the top 2 movies (hell, my top 3!), are not for the squeamish and will certainly not appeal to everyone. In fact, it’s guaranteed that a lot of people will hate them. But I like movies that take risks.

But that’s what makes Cinema Knife Fight so interesting, isn’t it? That we have such different viewpoints?

Which brings me to my #1 pick for the best movie of 2009.

(LS rips open the final envelope in his hands. This one has a giant “1” on it)

It’s another one I saw without you, and it’s called MARTYRS.

Originally released in France in 2008, this movie didn’t get a proper theatrical release here and went straight to DVD (it was released here in April of 2009). But it is easily the most powerful movie I’ve seen this year. And, somehow, it’s even a lot more extreme than ANTICHRIST.

Another very disturbing film, MARTYRS begins with a girl who has been kidnapped and held captive in a warehouse. The girl, Lucie, escapes and ends up in an orphanage (which also seems to be a psychiatric center), where she rarely speaks and doesn’t trust anyone. She bonds with another girl at the facility, Anna, and the two become inseparable. When they come of age when they can leave the facility, Lucie (Mylene Jampanoi) and Anna (Morjana Alaoui) stick together. Lucie is obsessed with finding the people who abducted her as a child and exacting her revenge. Anna struggles to protect Lucie from herself.

When Lucie thinks she has found the people responsible, they look like just a normal family. Lucie starts doing awful things to them, and Anna finds herself caught in the middle. Are these people really to blame for what happened, or is Lucie now completely insane?

And this all happens in just the first 30 minutes of the film. As it continues, it goes off in wildly unexpected territory you’d never expect.

At times very difficult to watch, MARTYRS is once again the kind of visceral, squirm-inducing horror movie that I think defines the best of the genre.  And, just to note again, this movie is clearly not going to appeal to everyone. So check it out at your own risk.

MA (Rips open his last envelope): My #1 pick of the year is AVATAR. Now, I know AVATAR is NOT a horror movie, so what’s it doing at the top of my list?  Well, simply put, I view this list as the top genre films of the year, and this includes, in addition to horror, those science fiction/fantasy movies that horror audiences also flock to see.

LS: You don’t need to keep explaining that. People get it.

MA:  They do?

CROWD (shouting):  YES, WE GET IT!

MA: Okay, moving right along then.

First off, technically, with its impressive 3D effects, AVATAR is a marvel to behold. After seeing this movie, I wish every film were shot in 3D. It was such a pleasurable experience to see this 3D world unfold onscreen the way it does. It’s a visually stunning film, with amazing colors and bizarre, wild creatures running around. It definitely rises above movie status and becomes more of an experience.

The story of mankind exploiting the natives of a beautiful world is not original, but it still makes for compelling cinema, and director James Cameron seems to push all the right buttons with this one.

With its amazing, ferocious creatures and animals, it has more in common with KING KONG than say STAR WARS, even in its plot structure. In KING KONG, we exploit Skull Island and rip Kong away from his home, while here we’re exploiting the world of Pandora and trying to force the native peoples off their lands. I thought it was the best of the bunch in 2009.

LS: I liked AVATAR a lot, and it’s certainly one of my favorite movies we saw this year, but I had a hard time figuring out where it fits on my list. In a way, AVATAR is kind of in a category of its own. Sure, it was a spectacle of amazing visuals, due to top-notch CGI and top-of-the-line 3D effects, but I would put this in an Honorable Mention category, mainly because I’m not too sure what my reaction would have been if I hadn’t seen it in 3D, as it was meant to be seen. The story wasn’t all that original, and while the acting was mostly good, I think it would have lost a lot if it didn’t have all the added bells and whistles. I’m really not sure if it could stand up on its own without the technology. I’m sure I still would have enjoyed it, but it would have been very different than having the full experience.

Other movies I probably would have mentioned, if we went beyond a Top Five, include: WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE, Park Chan-wook’s THIRST, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, and Sam Raimi’s DRAG ME TO HELL. And probably CORALINE -  my favorite kids’ movie of the year –which was another interesting use of 3D effects to add depth and “dimension” to a story, rather than throwing things out at us. I thought CORALINE had a good story overall, too, which is no surprise, since it was based on a book by Neil Gaiman.

MA:  My honorable mentions would include DISTRICT 9, CORALINE, and a low budget film I reviewed for its DVD release, RED SANDS. While not a great movie, RED SANDS was lifted by its setting, the deserts of Afghanistan. It tells a rather compelling story of a group of American soldiers haunted by a mythological creature that hates humans. It has its share of flaws, but it’s better than a lot of the other low-budget features I watched this year.

And I can’t believe I’m going to mention another zombie movie, but the movie DANCE OF THE DEAD, a horror comedy about high school students and zombies, though nowhere near as good as ZOMBIELAND, was actually pretty funny.

LS; And just for the hell of it, for my choice of  “Character with Most Potential” – I’d have to go with Olas Wormius (Jeffrey Alan Pilars) from the otherwise awful remake of THE DUNWICH HORROR. I admit, this was a bad movie, but Pilars as Wormius was a real highlight. Wormius is supposed to be a three-thousand-year old wise man who the protagonist goes to for advice, but he looks like a 40-year old fat man who levitates off the floor and is surrounded by a naked harem. His scenes in DUNWICH are the only real highlights, and really left me wishing that the movie had been about him instead. I wanted to know more about this strange character, and I fear that is one mystery that will never be explored further.

(An OBESE MAN moves past them, levitating in the air)

OBESE MAN: Why thank you, kind sir. I am so glad you saw my jewel glistening in the heap of manure that was the new version of THE DUNWICH HORROR.

MA: If I had to pick a favorite character of the year, it would be young Esther (Isabelle Fuhrman) from ORPHAN. She’s the most frightening kid I’ve seen in a movie in quite a long time. Come to think of it, she was scarier than most of the adult characters I saw in the movies this past year.\

And of course, from WATCHMEN, there’s Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) and the Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan). I would pay to see another movie about just these two guys in a heartbeat.

LS: I didn’t say what was your favorite character. I asked what was the Character With Most Potential – one that didn’t get enough screen time and deserved a movie of their own.

MA: Look, you chose two movies for your #4 pick. I can do what I want.

LS: Fair enough.

And, real quick, before we go, what would be your pick of the worst film of the year? For me it was a very easy decision. Based on the awful storyline, and the obscene waste of millions of dollars, my choice would be the overlong and incredibly boring NEW MOON. What about you?

MA (chuckling):  I think my picks for worst of the year are probably films you really liked. Now, here’s a list I’d have trouble limiting to 5 picks, there were so many bad ones. But to keep things brief, let’s see, NEW MOON, for sure (by far the most boring film I saw this year), TOKYO GORE POLICE, THE DUNWICH HORROR, HALLOWEEN 2, THE FINAL DESTINATION, THE BOX, and there’s more, but I’ll mention only one last one, my pick for the absolute worst for 2009, a grade Z level movie called PLATOON OF THE DEAD. If I could incinerate just one movie this year, that would be the one.

LS: I guess that ends our BEST OF 2009 column. And now we are off into the vast expanse of outer space.

MA: How did we win this trip anyway? I don’t remember entering any contest to be a civilian in space.

LS: Me, either. It almost feels like someone is trying to get rid of us.

(ASSEMBLED PEOPLE YELL): Hurry up, get into the rocket!

MA: What’s the big hurry?

(CROWD shoves them into the rocket and shuts the door. Countdown begins)

MA: Well, I hope we get back in time for New Year’s. There are lots of new horror movies coming out in 2010.

(ROCKET roars and hurtles skyward)

UNSEEN NARRATOR:  What’s this?  Our Cinema Knife Fighters shot off into outer space?  Is there foul play afoot?  Is this some dire plot to rid the world of our friendly neighborhood movie critics?

Oh, the horror!  Could this be the end?

Tune in next time to find out. Same Cinema Knife Fight time, same Cinema Knife Fight channel. The worst is yet to come!

—END—


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Two Highlights of 2009: ANTICHRIST and WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

Posted in 2009, Art Movies, Extreme Movies, Kids Movies, LL Soares Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , on December 28, 2009 by knifefighter

(Since Michael and I are currently working on a BEST OF 2009 list of movies that most impressed us, I thought I’d post some solo reviews here of movies I enjoyed this year that didn’t appear in Cinema Knife Fight columns. The following are just two highlights of a good movie year.~LS)

ANTICHRIST

Lars von Trier is an acquired taste. Not everyone likes his films. Most of them, like BREAKING THE WAVES, DOGVILLE and DANCER IN THE DARK are actually pretty challenging for the viewer. Von Trier’s approach and subject matter is definitely the work of a true auteur, but he is no stranger to controversy. ANTICHRIST is no different.

This isn’t von Trier’s first foray into horror. His early TV series, THE KINGDOM, (collected as two full-length films for American distribution), may have been his masterpiece. It’s layered, fascinating, and features some really great acting. It was also the source material for the Stephen King TV series KINGDOM HOSPITAL, which only seemed to hit its stride toward the end of its run, and never reached the level of quality found in von Trier’s original.

But where THE KINGDOM is perhaps von Trier’s most accessible work, ANTICHRIST is not an easy ride. This time around, von Trier gives us some of his most shocking and violent imagery, and it’s far from clear and straightforward. But it is, in several ways, even more successful as a horror film.

It is broken into several chapters, and begins with a strange, slow-motion sequence where a couple (Willem DaFoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg) make love, while their child gets up out of his crib, walks around the house, and eventually falls from an open window.

The couple suffer from great grief after the death, as any parents would, but where DaFoe’s character seems to be able to go on with his life, his wife can’t let go. She has become emotionally crippled by depression and can’t leave their apartment. Her doctor also prescribes lots of medications.

DaFoe’s character is a therapist and tells her he wants her to stop taking all the medications, and he’ll help her get through this using therapy. She agrees. Part of the therapy involves the two of them going to a cabin in the woods where they used to vacation when they were younger. The forest is called Eden.

Once they get there, things seem to be improving, and she seems on the verge of a breakthrough. But this is deceiving. Instead, she slips into violent insanity, harming both her husband and herself. There are some pretty rough scenes involving stuff like genital mutilation (it seems that, since they were having sex when the boy fell, their very sexuality needs to be punished – and it’s pretty graphic). There’s also something about ancient witches who used to live in the forest, and there are animals who talk, in particular a fox who tells DaFoe that “Chaos reigns.”

Not everything in ANTICHRIST is clear and easily figured out. There are some aspects that will have you scratching your head. But there are also images that will haunt you long afterwards. This movie is not for the squeamish, but it does venture into territory we don’t often see in movies. It’s a powerful, transgressive film, and one of von Trier’s best works.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

This is a movie I’d been waiting to see for a long time. Supposedly, when it was first finished, Spike Jonze’s adaptation of the classic Maurice Sendak children’s book, WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE, was deemed too dark by test audiences. There were rumors it might not get released. But the more I heard about it, the more I wanted to see it.

Now that it’s finally been released, I can understand the criticism. WILD THINGS is not your typical kids’ movie by any stretch. In fact, it could be argued, it’s not a kids’ movie at all. It just happens to have a kid as its main character, but the themes it explores are quite deep.

Sendak’s original book was fairly simple and involved the wolf-costume wearing Max feeling lonely and going to an island full of oversized monsters. It was about stuff like rebellion and loneliness.

But if the movie was completely faithful, it wouldn’t have lasted half an hour. So there’s a backstory now, and the monsters are much more developed, and have an awful lot to say.

Max (Max Records) is a lonely, hyperactive kid (some would say a brat) who doesn’t seem to have any friends. But he does have boundless energy. His single mom (Katherine Keener) supports him and his older sister, Claire. When Max surprises Claire’s friends by chucking snowballs at them, they chase him down to his snow fort and destroy it, leaving him crying in the ice. Then, when he goes home, his mother is enjoying time with her new boyfriend (Mark Ruffalo). Max feels neglected and angry and makes a scene. He then runs out of the house.

This is where reality becomes fantasy. Max runs down to the shoreline where he finds a boat. After sailing across a vast sea, he comes upon the island of the monsters.  The monsters are huge and destructive. They seem a lot like big kids. In fact, they seem a lot like Max. At first, they want to eat Max, but he tricks them into sparing his life by telling them he’s really a king.

The monsters believe him and make him their king – because they yearn for guidance, just like Max probably yearns for a father. He has them do fun things like fight wars and sleep piled up on top of each other. But eventually, the novelty wears off, and the monsters are restless again.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE is about growing up. Not just for Max, but for the strange beasts he rules over as well. The monsters are complex, fascinating characters in their own right, especially Carol (voiced by James Gandolfini), who loves to destroy things – a habit that often alienates him from those he loves best. Another monster, K.W.(Lauren Ambrose) is the object of Carol’s affection, but she leaves the group several times, looking for something more. Max does what he can to bring Carol and K.W.together. But there’s only so much he can do.

He gets the creatures to join together to build the ultimate fort, where they can all live together. But the monsters’ restless nature eventually ruins things, and Max gets to watch his own behavior mirrored in the others, and he grows in the process.

WILD THINGS will make you think and feel. It’s so much more than a children’s movie. It’s a solid achievement from a director who also gave us such recent classics as BEING JOHN MALKOVICH and ADAPTATION. Instead of collaborating with screenwriter extraordinaire Charles Kaufman this time around, though, Jonze co-wrote the screenplay for WILD THINGS with novelist David Eggers. It’s very satisfying and quite adult, especially in the tone of the film. These monsters explore issues of identity and mortality in their own strange way, and it’s a really interesting film.

© Copyright 2009 by L.L. Soares

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DECEMBER MOVIES

Posted in 2009, Cinema Knife Fights, Coming Attractions with tags , , , on December 10, 2009 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: NEW MOVIE PREVIEW/DECEMBER 2009
by Michael Arruda and L. L. Soares

(MICHAEL ARRUDA and L.L.SOARES are seated inside an elegant theater dressed in tuxedos, and sipping champagne.)

MA:  Isn’t this cool?  Our very own premiere party!

LS:  I’ve been to better.

MA:  I don’t know. I’m impressed.

LS (shrugs):  You don’t get out much, do you?

MA:  What do you mean?  They let me out of my cage every we— I mean, I go out every weekend.

(Notices LS’s beverage. It’s red):  What’s that you’re drinking?

LS:  Blood.

MA:  Figures. They give us free champagne, and you pass on it and drink blood instead.

LS:  I didn’t pass. I already drank the champagne. Now I’m drinking blood. It’s good stuff. Type O.

MA:  Whatever floats your boat. (Addresses audience)  Anyway, we’re here tonight to give you a preview of movies that we’ll be reviewing in December.

LS:  It’s not a big month for horror movies – which is our usual fare. But there are a couple of genre movies we’ll be reviewing.

MA: The big one, coming out on December 18, is AVATAR, and I have to say I’m really looking forward to this one. The trailer looks great, and it’s by James Cameron, who of course brought us THE TERMINATOR (1984) and ALIENS (1986). Haven’t heard much from him lately, not since his Oscar winning epic TITANIC in 1997, so I have high expectations for AVATAR. You?

LS:  I’m going to reserve judgment until we see it. The trailer looks good, but the CGI aliens don’t look as amazing as the hype would have us believe. Then again, it may improve a lot in 3-D. Do you think you’ll be able to see this one in 3-D, or is New Hampshire still in the Stone Age?

MA:  New Hampshire’s not in the Stone Age, even though it is known as the Granite State. From what I’ve read, a large number of theaters nationwide aren’t equipped to show the new 3-D movies , which require new technology. So it’s not just here in New Hampshire!  That being said, my local theater does have signs announcing prices for 3-D movies, so I’m hoping that this means 3-D is on its way!

(The TERMINATOR shows up and hands them press kits)

MA:  Gee, thanks!  Our very own press kits!

LS: Aren’t you supposed to be governing California?

TERMINATOR:  I’ll be back.

LS:  I think it’s time you came up with an original line.

(MA& LS go through press kits, finding models of AVATAR creatures, a miniature ALIEN, and a Leonardo DiCaprio doll, which LS tosses over his shoulder).

MA:  Don’t throw that too far. We’ll be seeing him again in SHUTTER ISLAND next year.

LS: Gee, I can’t wait (grimaces). And finally, at the end of the month, we get to see THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS. This is interesting for two reasons. First of all, it’s directed by Terry Gilliam, whose work I usually enjoy a lot, and it’s the last role Heath Ledger had before he died. You know, the Joker from THE DARK KNIGHT (2008). Supposedly he died in the middle of filming PARNASSUS, but they were able to work around this by having another actor take over his role for half the film. I’m curious to see how this works out.

MA:  Yes, I like Terry Gilliam’s work as well. I have fond memories of TIME BANDITS (1981) and BRAZIL (1985).

LS: BRAZIL was terrific. I’ve been a fan of Gilliam’s since the Monty Python days, when he did the animation and sometimes appeared in skits. I’m also a big fan of his Hunter S. Thompson flick FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS (1998) and I really liked his last movie, TIDELAND (2005), a lot. He’s definitely one of the more interesting directors around today.

(THE JOKER walks by with a tray)

JOKER: Hors d’ourves, gentlemen?

LS: No thanks.

MA (reaches out): Sure!  I’m hungry. Some of us here didn’t fill up on liquids! (Frowns at LS).

LS (Slaps his hand away): We’re fine, really.

(JOKER walks away.)

MA: What?  It’s okay for you to have extra drinks, but I can’t have any food?

LS:  I was doing you a favor. It’s the Joker. That stuff is probably poisoned.

MA:   You’re going soft. In the old days, you’d be the one serving the poison.

LS:  That’s not it at all. This is my show. If there’s anyone who’s going to serve poison around here, it’s going to be me. More champagne?  (Offers MA the bottle).

MA:  Yeah, right. I’ll pass.

LS: Suit yourself. (Swigs from bottle, then tosses it at MA’s head, who ducks out of the way.)  That’s it for December movies.

MA:  At least for movies we’re covering with Cinema Knife Fight reviews. We’re sure to have some new solo reviews throughout December as well.

LS:  And don’t forget, coming this January, our lists for the Top Movies of 2009.

(Car driven by the TERMINATOR crashes through the theater wall, sending MA and LS running for cover).

MA:  Well, since our party here has been crashed, (groaning from off camera) it’s time for us to go. We’ll see you the weekend of December 18th, with our review of AVATAR.

LS:  And look for us in the meantime right here at the “official” Cinema Knife Fight Web site, as we’ll have other special treats coming up as well.

MA:  Until next time—.(They run away as the TERMINATOR and the JOKER chase them)

—END—

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