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THE WORST MOVIES OF 2012 by Michael Arruda

MICHAEL ARRUDA’S PICKS FOR THE WORST MOVIES OF 2012
By Michael Arruda

Here’s my list for the Worst 10 Movies for 2012.

The most amazing thing about this list is that TWILIGHT: BREAKING DAWN PART II isn’t on it! That means I saw some pretty bad movies this year.

That being said, the list below if full of stinkers, and I have to say that it was difficult ranking them because they were all bad. All 11 of the following movies could easily have made it to the top of the list, the Worst Movie of the Year. In fact, they all should share that distinction.

First, before we get to the top 10, an Honorable Mention: SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN – Kristen Stewart as Snow White? Nuff said! A complete waste of time and talent. The only saving grace is the dwarves keep their shirts on.

Now for the 10 WORST MOVIES OF THE YEAR:

10. THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN – Andrew Garfield as Spidey ain’t so amazing! I know this one did well, and audiences liked it, but for me, it just never climbed out of the shadow of the superior Sam Raimi – Tobey Maguire Spidey movies. And no J. Jonah Jameson!

9. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4 – Young Kathryn Newton does a nice job in the lead, but all for not, as this one’s a drag. Plays more like PARANORMAL INACTIVITY. Weakest film of the series. Maybe it’s time we put this series to bed.

8. SILENT HILL: REVELATION 3D– Yet another in the growing line of movies that thinks it’s a movie but is really an extended video game. There’s no script to speak of. All visuals, no story. In other words, a video game disguising itself as a movie. While I did enjoy the visuals in this one, the movie as a whole is horrible and includes some embarrassingly poor acting performances by people who should know better, like Sean Bean for instance, who has an accent in some scenes but loses it in others.

7. DARK SHADOWS – Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins. Need I say anything more? A complete mess.

6. THE APPARITION – Ashley Greene from the TWILIGHT movies makes a nice lead, but this incredibly weak horror movie is so bad it’s not scary. Plus the cardinal sin is committed of showing the final scene from the film in the movie’s trailers. It has a muddled story that smells of last minute rewrites.

5. UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING –Rretire this series already! No script, no story, no decent dialogue, no fun. Folks, we have to stop paying money to see these video-game movie wannabes to send Hollywood a message: movies are about stories, not images. Even Kate Beckinsale in tight black clothing can’t save this one.

4. PROJECT X – I hated this comedy. I love raunchy comedies like the next guy, but this one has at its core a couple of very unlikable characters who belong in a detention hall, not in front of a camera. This wild tale of a high school party gone awry is so devoid of creativity, it makes AMERICA’S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS seem like high art by comparison.

3. SILENT HOUSE – Elizabeth Olsen looks frightened and screams a lot. Dull, unimaginative horror movie with a lame twist at the end you can see coming a mile away. Keep miles away from this stinker. Its title describes the theater audience watching this one.

2. BATTLESHIP – hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! A complete joke of a movie. No relation whatsoever to the popular board game. The most amazing thing about this movie is how bad it is. Think about it: it’s a story which pits battleships against alien spaceships. How bad can it be? Worse. Taylor Kitsch has the distinction of being in both one of the worst movies of the year (this one) and one of the best (Oliver Stone’s SAVAGES). For that matter, Liam Neeson shares that distinction, as he was in THE GREY as well in 2012, but lucky for Neeson, he’s only in this bomb for about five minutes. He’s obviously just collecting a paycheck here. Awful, awful, movie.

1. RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION – how bad is this movie? Let’s put it in perspective: in terms of video games masquerading as movies, it’s worse than both UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING (less of a story) and SILENT HILL: REVELATION 3D (less impressive visuals). Did I say it has no story? Watching this movie is like picking up a book and reading a section of a chapter from a random page where you don’t bother to read the beginning or the end. RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION is so bad it’s even more boring than the TWILIGHT movies. It has perhaps one of the most annoying and lamest villains Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts) you’ll ever find in a movie. He makes Loki seem like The Joker. And as good as Milla Jovovich looks kicking bad guys’ butts, her shtick only goes so far, for me, about ten minutes. Repeat after me: END THIS SERIES NOW!!! Worst movie of the year.

—END—

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THE BEST MOVIES OF 2012 by Michael Arruda

Posted in 2012, 2013, Best Of Lists, Michael Arruda Reviews with tags Argo, Best Movies of 2012, Hunger Games, Lincoln, michael arruda on January 1, 2013 by knifefighter

MICHAEL ARRUDA’S PICKS FOR THE BEST MOVIES OF 2012
By Michael Arruda

Here’s my list for the Top 10 Movies for 2012:

First, some honorable mentions of movies that didn’t make my Top 10 but were very good all the same.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES – The conclusion to Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy. Very dark, perhaps too dark and depressing to make my Top 10 list.

CABIN IN THE WOODS – The genre film that probably generated the most buzz this year. I loved it, but didn’t find it scary enough to make my Top 10.

THE EXPENDABLES 2 – This EXPENDABLES sequel is better than the original, and with Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis, Statham, Chuck Norris, and Jean Claude Van Damme all on the screen together at the same time, you can’t help but feel explosive about this one. A blast, literally.

JACK REACHER – Surprisingly good mystery thriller with Tom Cruise in top form as ex- military cop out to clear the name of his wrongly accused friend— er, pardon me, the guy’s not his friend.

DREDD- Most people didn’t like this one, but I thought Karl Urban was excellent as Dredd, and the film itself compelling and entertaining.

Now onto the actual Top 10 list:

MY TOP 10 MOVIES OF 2012:

10. THE GREY – Liam Neeson just keeps getting better and better with age, and this satisfying thriller of men vs. wolves kept me glued to the screen throughout.

9. ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER – probably the most pleasant surprise for me in 2012. I expected a campy over-the-top mess, a la VAN HELSING (2004), but what I got was a serious, attractive horror period piece that reminded me an awful lot of the Hammer Films of old. Highly recommended.

8. SKYFALL – Crowned “the King of all Bond movies” before it ever hit U.S. theaters, the hype became this one’s worst enemy. Not the best Bond movie, not by a long shot, but still a highly enjoyable Bond thriller, and Daniel Craig continues to impress as James Bond.

7. THE HUNGER GAMES – another surprise for me. I didn’t expect to like this one, but the serious way in which it treated its subject, kids who have to fight to the death in a weird futuristic society, plus an outstanding cast, including Jennifer Lawrence, Stanley Tucci, and Woody Harrelson, make this a winner.

6. CHRONICLE – in spite of its forgettable title, this superior science fiction thriller tells the tale of a group of teenagers who find an alien object which gives them telekinetic powers, and the dark path they follow afterwards. A cheery superhero story, this ain’t! Effectively uses the gimmick of being filmed entirely by cameras in the movie, some belonging to the characters while others are from the characters’ surroundings, like security cameras and pedestrians’ cell phones.

5. DJANGO UNCHAINED – another excellent Quentin Tarantino movie. This one features the director’s signature touches- attention to detail, stylish scenes, excellent cast, and eclectic music score- plus a fine performance by Jamie Foxx in the lead, and even better performances by Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Samuel L. Jackson in supporting roles. A must-see movie from beginning to end.

4. ARGO – probably the best subtle film of the year. This unusual tale of the U.S. government funding a fake movie in order to fool Iranian officials in a plot to free six American diplomats who escaped from the U.S. Embassy in Iran before the 56 American hostages were taken in 1979, is based on a true story. Knockout script by Chris Terrio, superb direction by Ben Affleck, and two great supporting performances by John Goodman and Alan Arkin make this one a winner. The suspense builds to an incredibly tense conclusion, probably the most suspenseful final third of a movie I’ve seen in years, all of it without bloodshed or violence. Superior filmmaking at its best.

3. SAVAGES – Director Oliver Stone hits a homerun with this tale of pot growers and their shared girlfriend taking on a deadly Mexican drug cartel. This one had me hooked (no pun intended) from beginning to end, and features some terrific performances throughout, including Blake Lively, Taylor Kitsch, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as the three leads, as believable a ménage a trois as you’ll find in a movie, and Salma Hayek and Benicio del Toro as nasty villains. This one was a guilty pleasure, as I enjoyed it more than I should have. Almost ruined by its ending, but somehow, in spite of the bizarre twist, it still works.

2. THE AVENGERS – by far, the most fun I had at the movies this year, and probably my favorite movie of the year, even if I didn’t think it was the best. The best Marvel superhero movie yet, and considering some of the great movies they’ve churned out over the past decade, that’s saying a lot. Robert Downey Jr. returns to top form as Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man, and along with fellow superheroes Captain America, Thor, the Hulk, Black Widow, and Hawkeye, combine to make for the most entertaining superhero movie to date. They spend more time at each other’s throats than going after the villains, making them the perfect dysfunctional superhero family. Grand nearly flawless entertainment from beginning to end, with really the only drawback being its weak villain, Loki, who now has appeared in two superhero movies and has underwhelmed in both. Retire this supervillain wannabe already!

1. LINCOLN – what can I say? 2012 was the year of Lincoln, with two movies about Abraham Lincoln making my Top 10 List. This one is the best by far. My favorite Steven Spielberg film in years. Spectacular, flawless direction, in which Spielberg uses light and shadow to great effect, this one was the most satisfying visual movie of 2012. It also has the year’s best performance, Daniel Day-Lewis as Abraham Lincoln. I believed I was watching the real Lincoln on screen. Also features fine support by Sally Field and Tommy Lee Jones, and a script by Tony Kushner, based in part on the book “Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln” by Doris Kearns Goodwin, that tells the compelling story of Lincoln’s extraordinary efforts to get the 13^th Amendment passed to free the slaves. Hands down the best movie of the year. Not to be missed. And do yourself a favor and see it on the big screen.

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Quick Cuts Presents: HALLOWEEN FUN (PART 2)

Posted in 2011, Halloween, HOLIDAY CHEER, Quick Cuts, Zombies with tags Bill Hintzman, freaks, george romero, Happy Halloween, human centipede, michael arruda, Quick Cuts on October 30, 2011 by knifefighter

QUICK CUTS – Halloween Fun, Part 2
Wherein the Cinema Knife Fight staff has even more Halloween fun!
~Michael Arruda

This time, the question is:
Okay, CINEMA KNIFE FIGHTERS, what’s the scariest costume you can imagine showing up at your door?

*****

COLLEEN WANGLUND:

The scariest costume that could appear at my door would be the Cemetery Zombie (Bill Hintzman) from George Romero’s NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968). He scared the crap out of me when I first saw the movie and continues to scare the crap out of me.

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L.L. SOARES:

The scariest costume I can think of would involve a mask of Michael Arruda after he’s just watched the remake of PROM NIGHT (2008) for the 15th time.

We're thinking a Michael Arruda mask might be even scarier than this one!

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KELLY LAYMON:

A band of dwarves, pinheads, half bodies and Siamese twins dressed-to-the-nines and chanting, “Gooble gobben, gooble gobben, we accept her, one of us, one of us.” Plus, we all know I’d totally give in to their goblet of champagne.

"Gooble Gabban, Gooble Gaban, You are one of us!" (from 1932's FREAKS)

*****

MICHAEL ARRUDA:

Not that I want to promote this movie, but the scariest costume I can imagine at my door would be the CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT team dressed as THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE.

"Did someone say HUMAN CENTIPEDE?"

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Quick Cuts: COWBOYS & ALIENS….AND… (Part 3 of 4)

Posted in 2011, Just Plain Fun, Michael Arruda Reviews, Quick Cuts with tags Cowboys & Aliens, michael arruda, Quick Cuts on September 4, 2011 by knifefighter

QUICK CUTS – COWBOYS & ALIENS……AND…..
Part 3 of 4
(“Quick Cuts” created by Michael Arruda)

With the recent release of COWBOYS & ALIENS (2011), a movie with a title that includes two seemingly unrelated groups, we here at Cinema Knife Fight decided to get creative.

We asked out panel to come up with some other seemingly unrelated groups, put them together to make a movie title, and then write a brief synopsis of the movie’s (or movies’) plot.

Here’s what they came up with:

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From MICHAEL ARRUDA:

ZITS AND ZOMBIES- Teenagers with severe acne face off against flesh eating zombies, complete with a zit-popping finale!

COUGARS AND WEREWOLVES- Divorced women hunt down young werewolf hunks for mates.

VAMPIRES AND VIRGINS – In this follow-up to the TWILIGHT series, teen male vampires date teen female virgins, promise not to have sex with them, and then whine and brood over making the promise.

MUMMIES AND DUMMIES- A ventriloquist’s dummy with a mind of its own resurrects Kharis the Mummy, and the two write and produce their own Broadway musical. Includes the songs “Mummies and Dummies,” “Tanna Leaves for Two,” “Bedtime for the Bannings,” and “Thanks for the Memories, George Zucco.”

DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS –Two seemingly opposing groups, in public, they hate each other’s guts and refuse to agree on even the most minute matters, but in private they enjoy ice cream socials and Poker Night every Friday, while hitting “Like” on each other’s Facebook’s posts incessantly.

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Quick Cuts: OVERRATED OR UNDERRATED? (Part 3 of 3)

Posted in 2011, Aliens, Giant Monsters, JJ Abrams, Michael Arruda Reviews, Overrated or Underrated?, Quick Cuts with tags cloverfield, E.T. The Extraterrestrial, jj abrams, michael arruda, Quick Cuts, steven spielberg on June 30, 2011 by knifefighter

QUICK CUTS: THE OVERRATED OR UNDERRATED GAME (ANSWER 3)
(Quick Cuts created by Michael Arruda)

With the recent release of SUPER 8, the new alien movie from director J.J. Abrams and producer Steven Spielberg, we’re going to play a game of “Overrated/Underrated.”

Are the following overrated or underrated?

1. Steven Spielberg
2. J.J. Abrams
3. ET, the Extraterrestrial
4. The Cloverfield Monster

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ANSWER # 3

MICHAEL ARRUDA answers:

1. Steven Spielberg

I’d have to say that Spielberg is actually Underrated.

I know, I give him a hard time on this Web site, and deservedly so, because his over-the-top sugary style irritates me. That being said, the man is a tremendous filmmaker, responsible for some of the most memorable movies ever made, JAWS (1975), RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981), JURASSIC PARK (1993) and SCHINDLER’S LIST (1993), to name just a few.

I’ve always thought critics have been unfairly harsh on him, and he often doesn’t get the credit he deserves, as if because he’s “Steven Spielberg” he’s held to a higher standard. For example, I really liked his WAR OF THE WORLDS (2005) remake, yet the film was largely panned by critics. Sure, it has its flaws, but it provided a lot of thrills and better than average entertainment.

So, because Spielberg doesn’t always get the credit he deserves, I say he’s underrated.

The multi-talented JJ Abrams

2. J.J. Abrams

Underrated.

Why? One word: LOST. Why isn’t this guy a household name yet?

A typical sappy moment with Spielberg's E.T.

3. ET, the Extraterrestrial

Overrated.

Everyone and their grandmother loved him in 1982, and they continue to love him today. Why? I’ve never understood the attraction. Is he sweet and cuddly? Nope. On the contrary, he’s hideous! I’ve always thought he should be living in a garbage can as Oscar the Grouch’s next door neighbor.

Allegedly doctored photo of the Cloverfield Monster attacking New York. Is it real?

4. The Cloverfield Monster

Underrated.

The Cloverfield Monster is a terrific movie monster. I expected this creature to achieve icon status, to be up there with Godzilla and King Kong. Yet, there’s been hardly any buzz about this monster since the film left theaters in 2008. Cloverfield Monster, where are you?

—END—

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MONSTROUS QUESTION – CGI WORLDS (Answer # 2)

Posted in 2011, CGI, Michael Arruda Reviews, Monstrous Question with tags CGI, Lord of the Rings, michael arruda, monstrous question, Star Wars, Sucker Punch, watchmen on June 2, 2011 by knifefighter

MONSTROUS QUESTION
(Monstrous Questions provided by Michael Arruda, unless otherwise noted)

In this edition of MONSTROUS QUESTION, we asked, what’s the best CGI created world(s) you’ve seen in a movie(s) since 2000?

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MICHAEL ARRUDA answers:

Although I’m not a fan of CGI, it’s what we’ve got these days, and some movies have actually done a good job creating these CGI worlds.

Here are some of my favorites:

From this year, even though the film wasn’t so hot, I really enjoyed the visual dream worlds created in the silly alternate reality movie SUCKER PUNCH (2011). These outlandish lands were by far the best part of the movie.

I also enjoyed the medieval landscape created in SEASON OF THE WITCH (2011).

Going back a few years, I was impressed by the CGI interpretation of Kong’s Island in Peter Jackson’s KING KONG (2005.) I also enjoyed the nineteenth century European scenery in THE WOLFMAN (2010).

Interestingly enough, while I loved the 3D effects in AVATAR (2009) I wouldn’t list its Pandora moon world as among my favorite CGI creations.

My top 3 favorite CGI movie worlds aren’t from horror movies. Coming in at #3 would be the hellish world created by George Lucas for the climactic battle between Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi in STAR WARS: EPISODE III- REVENGE OF THE SITH (2005).

# 2 would be the dark but colorful superhero world from WATCHMEN (2009). While I can’t say that I love this movie, mostly due to its long length and mediocre pacing, I do love the visuals in this one. They’re spectacular.

At #1, I would have to agree with Dan Keohane and go with Peter Jackson’s LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy. Not only does middle earth look terrific, but it has the distinction, more so than any of the other movies I’ve mentioned here, of looking like a real place. It’s about as authentic as an imaginary land can get in a movie.

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QUICK CUTS: Haunted House Movies

Posted in 2011, Ghost Movies, Haunted Houses, Quick Cuts with tags Burnt Offerings, colleen wanglund, Haunted Houses, House By the Cemetery, ju-on, l.l. soares, michael arruda, nick cato, Quick Cuts, The Haunting, The House on Haunted Hill, The Legend of Hell House, The Orphanage, the uninvited on April 22, 2011 by knifefighter

QUICK CUTS: Best Haunted House Movies
With: Michael Arruda, Nick Cato, L.L. Soares and Colleen Wanglund

With the release of INSIDIOUS (2011), a new haunted house movie, we asked our panel of experts, what’s your favorite haunted house movie(s) of all time?

Here’s what they had to say:

NICK CATO:

1) THE HAUNTING (1963)–Arguably the BEST haunted house film of all time
2) THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE (1973)–scared me as a kid and still works today.
3) THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (1979)–both the film and Jay Anson’s novel work well in their own ways. The film has (what I believe to be) one of the creepiest soundtracks ever.

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Colleen Wanglund:

BURNT OFFERINGS (1976) is probably my favorite haunted house movie. It stars Karen Black, Oliver Reed and Bette Davis….what’s not to love? It’s just one of those really creepy movies where you find yourself trying to tell the characters not to do something that you know they’ll do anyway.

JU-ON (2000) written and directed by Takashi Shimizu is a great haunted house movie. Whoever comes into contact with the house (or the ghosts within) end up carrying the curse wherever they go and passes it on to whomever they meet. That’s pretty damn scary. Interestingly, this movie and its sequel were originally only released to DVD. Word of mouth made them huge in Japan.

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L.L. SOARES

I’d have to agree with Nick on this one. My all-time favorite haunted house flick has got to be THE HAUNTING (1963), the classic film based on Shirley Jackson’s THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE, which in turn is easily in my top five of best horror novels of all time.

By the way, THE HAUNTING was directed by Robert Wise, the director who also gave us the original THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (1951), THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN (1971) and STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE (1979). Strangely enough, he also directed the musicals WEST SIDE STORY (1965) and THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1961), in his long and varied career. I still think THE HAUNTING was his best film.

I’m also a big fan of THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE (1973), based on Richard Matheson’s novel and starring Roddy McDowell.

A couple of films no one mentioned that I also like a lot are:

THE ORPHANGE (2007)– a great Spanish film about a haunted orphanage (naturally), during the Spanish Civil War, directed by Juan Antonio Bayona.

HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY (1981) – Okay, I’m not sure if Dr. Freudstein counts as a ghost or as a member of the walking dead, but he does live in the basement and he does haunt the title house in this cult classic by the great Lucio Fulci.

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Michael Arruda:

THE UNINVITED (1944) – love the atmosphere, eerie, spooky, and a mysterious.

HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1958) – no one has more fun scaring people in a haunted house than Vincent Price!

Okay, folks, you’ve heard from us. How about you? What are your favorite haunted house movies of all time?

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CKF on BOSTON FREE RADIO!

Posted in 2011, Cinema Knife Fights, Interviews, On The Radio with tags Boston Free Radio, cinema knife fight, General Midi Show, interview, l.l. soares, michael arruda on April 19, 2011 by knifefighter

The Cinema Knife Fight guys, Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares, recently were the guests on the GENERAL MIDI SHOW on Boston Free Radio. In case you missed it live, here’s the link to the podcast version. The guys talk for over an hour about movies, books and music.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/16763792/General%20MIDI%20-%20CinemaKnifeFight.mp3

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QUICK CUTS: SCREAM 4

Posted in 2011, Psycho killer, Quick Cuts, Sequels, Slasher Movies with tags Craig Shaw Gardner, l.l. soares, michael arruda, Quick Cuts, Scream 4 on April 19, 2011 by knifefighter

QUICK CUTS: SCREAM 4
Featuring MICHAEL ARRUDA, L.L. SOARES, and CRAIG SHAW GARDNER

Okay, we’re going to play a game today on QUICK CUTS. It’s called “Best Part, Worst Part,” and in this game our panel has to answer two questions. They are:

-What’s the best part about there being a SCREAM 4?

-What’s the worst part about there being a SCREAM 4?

****

L.L. SOARES:

The best part of there being a SCREAM 4?

Seriously, I can’t think of one good thing to say.

The worst part of there being a SCREAM 4?

The fact that I have to go see it.

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CRAIG SHAW GARDNER:

Best part?

That it’s not SAW 7. Or SAW 12. Or SAW anything.

What’s the worst part about there being a SCREAM 4?

That Wes Craven seems to have his lost the mojo he had back when he actually made GOOD horror movies.

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MICHAEL ARRUDA:

-The best part about there being a SCREAM 4 is that it gives Wes Craven yet ANOTHER chance to redeem his career.

-The worst part about there being a SCREAM 4 is that if Craven succeeds and the film is a hit, there’ll be a SCREAM 5. Yikes!

(Note: these questions were asked before we actually saw SCREAM 4. So make your own conclusions as to whether we were right.)

—END—

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December MONSTROUS QUESTION – Answer # 5

Posted in 2010, Michael Arruda Reviews, Monstrous Question of the Month, Nightmares with tags Kharis, lon chaney jr., michael arruda, Monstrous Question of the Month, Nightmares, the wolfman on December 22, 2010 by knifefighter

THE MONSTROUS QUESTION OF THE MONTH – DECEMBER 2010
(This month’s question comes courtesy of Dan Keohane)

DECEMBER QUESTION:

Has any horror film actually given you nightmares? Name the movie, and if you remember any of the dream, describe the nightmare.

Which is scarier, the film or the dream?

AND NOW OUR FINAL ANSWER FROM MICHAEL ARRUDA:

I can’t say that any horror film has actually given me a nightmare, at least not as an adult, anyway.

The closest experience for me would be when I watched THE EXORCIST (1973) for the first time. I watched it alone, late at night, uncut on HBO, when I was in high school. When the movie ended, around 1:00 am, and it was time for me to go to bed, I couldn’t get the image of Linda Blair’s hideous face out of my head. In fact, as I lay in bed, every time I closed my eyes, I saw her face. Hell, even when I had my eyes open I saw her face— choose any dark corner in the room, and I’d see her there staring at me with that scarred face, demonic eyes, and thick rolling tongue.

Needless to say, it took me forever to fall asleep that night.

It was a very disturbing and scary experience for me, so much so that I still remember it clearly to this day.

That was the closest I ever came to actually having a movie give me a nightmare.

Some runners up include HALLOWEEN (1978), which I saw at the movies when I was 15, (somehow I eluded the Rated R police). After this one, I couldn’t get the movie’s music out of my head the rest of the night, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

I saw JAWS (1975) at the movies when I was 11, and needless to say I was traumatized for the rest of the summer and was afraid to go swimming.

Interestingly enough, none of the horror movies I’ve seen as an adult have come close to giving me nightmares. Yet, I remember lots of instances as a child when movies bothered me. I suppose this is more a reflection of the fact that it’s easier to be frightened as a child than it is as an adult, rather than that today’s movies aren’t as scary. I think they are. They just don’t bother me as much, because as an adult I recognize that a movie is a movie. It isn’t real.

For the record, the king of scares in my childhood was— and this comes as a surprise to me— Lon Chaney, Jr.! His Wolf Man and Kharis the Mummy (afraid of Kharis? This seems laughable now, but back when I was a kid it was no laughing matter!) frightened the heck out of me when I was a kid. Karloff’s Frankenstein’s monster didn’t, Lugosi’s Dracula didn’t, Lee’s Dracula didn’t, and Peter Cushing’s Baron Frankenstein didn’t. Lon Chaney Jr. did.

Many a night when I was a kid I couldn’t fall asleep, because I was afraid that Kharis would creep into my bedroom and strangle me with his huge bandaged hand. I also used to picture the Wolf Man leaping around outside my window, darting in and out of the moonlight, and if I ever found myself walking outside at night, I’d fear the Wolf Man would be lurking in some dark corner waiting to leap out at me and rip my throat out.

So, no nightmares for me, but lots of sleepless nights, disturbing images, and uncontrollable fears.

Thanks, Lon, for the memories!

Happy sleeping everyone!

~Michael Arruda

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Archive for michael arruda

THE WORST MOVIES OF 2012 by Michael Arruda

THE BEST MOVIES OF 2012 by Michael Arruda

Quick Cuts Presents: HALLOWEEN FUN (PART 2)

Quick Cuts: COWBOYS & ALIENS….AND… (Part 3 of 4)

Quick Cuts: OVERRATED OR UNDERRATED? (Part 3 of 3)

MONSTROUS QUESTION – CGI WORLDS (Answer # 2)

QUICK CUTS: Haunted House Movies

CKF on BOSTON FREE RADIO!

QUICK CUTS: SCREAM 4

December MONSTROUS QUESTION – Answer # 5

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