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Suburban Grindhouse Memories: DEATHSTALKER (1984)

Posted in "So Bad They're Good" Movies, 2012, Bad Acting, Barbarian Movies, Grindhouse, Nick Cato Reviews, Suburban Grindhouse Memories, Sword & Sorcery, VIOLENCE!, Warriors with tags , , , , , on January 26, 2012 by knifefighter

SUBURBAN GRINDHOUSE MEMORIES PRESENTS:
DEATHSTALKER: Conan…Without Class!
By Nick Cato

I spent most of the time during the second half of my sophomore year in high school daydreaming about movies.  While horror preoccupied 90% of my mind, other exploitation films took about 8%, and the final 2% was dedicated to all things CONAN.  From the early Marvel comics to the 1982 Ah-Nuld film version, I was always a big fan of the sword & sorcery genre.  And while the success of CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982) spawned several rip-offs, none were as memorable as the 1984 schlock-fest DEATHSTALKER, which happened to be released as I trudged through the tenth grade.

Picture—if you will—a group of fifteen year-old male teenagers managing to get into an R-rated action film with no problem.  Now picture—if you will—that same group of ecstatic fifteen year-old teenagers giggling with glee as the sword & sorcery epic unreeling before them turned out to feature some of the worst acting, fakest-looking creatures, and massive amounts of jiggling boobs this side of a PORKY’S film.  Even one-time sex symbol Barbi Benton appears as a princess, although she was better off taking another cruise on THE LOVE BOAT than accepting whatever peanuts she was offered for her forgettable role here.

Besides the gratuitous boobs and brutal fight sequences, what truly made DEATHSTALKER such a joy to watch was the title character himself.  Deathstalker was played by stuntman/actor Rick Hill, and is far less noble a warrior than Conan: he’s a conscience-less murderer and rapist, taking any woman who even looks at him as he walks by with his bulging biceps.  And in what tries to pass for a plot, a king asks Deathstalker to try and redeem himself by rescuing his kidnapped princess daughter from a tattoo-headed tyrant.  Like any social misfit, Deathstalker basically tells the king where to go, then proceeds to eat (yes, EAT) half of the king’s poor dog!  At this point, you either buckled your seatbelt and prepared to enjoy the trash that followed, or you left the theater and spared your brain any further damage.

I stayed.

There was mumbling around the theater wondering  just why this king asked a known, savage rapist to rescue his daughter, and why he even cared if the guy redeemed himself.  But such are the mysteries of rip-off, grindhouse cinema.

In one scene that drove the audience wild, a brawl goes down where one burly man (with his gigantic mallet) smashes his opponent into a bloody pancake.  Popcorn flew around the (now defunct) Fox Twin Theatre in appreciation, and at one point I started to hope some of the older guys in attendance didn’t get any ideas after the film, out in the parking lot.

Between more bouncing boobs and heads getting lobbed off, there was talk of Deathstalker also having to find three objects that were allegedly part of the world’s creation (I remember one being a sword, which he finds, but can’t recall what the other two were…and you probably wouldn’t, either).  Deathstalker eventually rescues the princess (who actually looks like an old sea hag) and takes the sword of creation from the clutches of Munkar, the aforementioned tattoo-headed tyrant (and MAN did his head-tattoo look fake!).  Just WHY Deathstalker went ahead and did what the king asked —after saying he wasn’t interested—is anyone’s guess.

The remainder of DEATHSTALKER features our anti-hero joining a tournament where warriors battle other warriors to the death—sort-of like a sword & sorcery tribute to the Bruce Lee classic ENTER THE DRAGON (1973).  Here the blood flows deeper than your standard slasher film, as arms, legs, and heads fly, bodies are impaled; all the while Munkar looks on with a smirk, thinking everyone who stands in his way will eventually kill themselves off, leaving him to rule the world.  MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

But as fate would have it, Deathstalker manages to kill the final opponent, a goofy-looking pig-faced warrior beast, and eventually destroys Munkar and the mystical objects of creation.

Unlike CONAN THE BARBARIAN, or better rip-offs such as THE BEASTMASTER (1982), DEATHSTALKER’s sloppy script and countless plot holes will cause even the most jaded fan of grindhouse cinema to shake their head in disbelief.  But, if you’re looking for a real GUY/party flick, full of hot babes, endless bloodshed, and acting so bad you can’t help but yell back at the screen (even if you’re watching it at home), DEATHSTALKER is a prime example of a so-bad-it’s-amazing film.  Most mind-boggling: this cinematic abortion was followed by three sequels, with Rick Hill returning in the title role for the fourth installment.  None were half as good (or bad) as the original.

Deathstalker (Rick Hill) battles a pig-faced beast during the exciting conclusion of DEATHSTALKER (1984)

© Copyright 2012 by Nick Cato

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NICK CATO’S TOP 3 1970S GRINDHOUSE FLICKS REDISCOVERED IN 2011

Posted in 1970s Movies, 2011, Best Of Lists, Campy Movies, Fun Stuff!, Gangsters!, Grindhouse, Killers, Nick Cato Reviews, Suburban Grindhouse Memories with tags , , , , , , , on January 12, 2012 by knifefighter

SUBURBAN GRINDHOUSE MEMORIES Presents:
NICK CATO’S TOP 3 1970S GRINDHOUSE FILMS REDISCOVERED IN 2011
By Nick Cato

3) ANOTHER SON OF SAM (1977).  If you enjoy inept filmmaking, horrendous 70s fashions, plot-holes galore, and a GENUINE grindhouse experience, pay attention: Harvey, who was sexually abused by his mother as a child, escapes a mental institution and goes on a shooting rampage at a park before taking hostages in a college dorm.  A SWAT team and local cops eventually apprehend him.  As a show of total CLASSLESSNESS, this film was released in 1977, BEFORE there was any other fictional film about the Son of Sam, and (I’m assuming) while Berkowitz was still at large.  If you like trashy, pointless films full of unintentional laughs, ANOTHER SON OF SAM is pure gold.  All others, turn and run away as fast as you can.

2) In my never-ending quest to see every obscure low-budget 70s film, I came across (no pun intended) a 1972 sex comedy titled THE GODDAUGHTER, which—among other things—just might be a precursor to the current crop of adult films that parody popular movies (not to mention “Nunsploitation” films).    While nowhere near as entertaining as last summer’s re-discovered 1981 Mafia flick GONE WITH THE POPE, THE GODDAUGHTER is an interesting piece of grindhouse trash for mob film completists with little-to-no conscience (some brief and ugly hardcore scenes guarantee this one will never be shown on Comedy Central).

1) THE GODFATHER AND THE LADY (1975).  The lunatics at Something Weird Video claim this had never been released, all the more amazing as it stars the legendary Jane Russell (who appears in her FINAL film role before doing a couple of TV shows in the 80s), as well as six (count ‘em, SIX) former boxing champions as hit men, including Rocky Graziano, Jake La Motta, and Willie Pep.  It’s a goofy comedy, featuring an opening brawl with sound effects right out of a Warner Brothers cartoon, atrocious acting, and a scam-the-inheritance plot that makes one wonder what episode of Scooby Doo they tried to rip off.  Lots of cornball fun.

© Copyright 2011 by Nick Cato

(All titles are available through Something Weird Video).

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Suburban Grindhouse Memories: CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS (1982)

Posted in 1980s Horror, 2011, Action Movies, Cannibals, Grindhouse, Italian Horror, Nick Cato Reviews, Suburban Grindhouse Memories with tags , , , , , , on December 15, 2011 by knifefighter

SUBURBAN GRINDHOUSE MEMORIES
CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS (1982)
Support Your Local Veterans!
By Nick Cato

Besides an overabundance of slasher films, the early 80s was also a hotbed of DAWN OF THE DEAD and ZOMBIE rip-offs, and if you lived in the right places, these (mainly) euro-schlock offerings seemed to be released every week.

Although zombie-mania is mainstream today, in 1982 it was still cool to be a zombie geek.  And upon seeing the above ad in my local newspaper for something called CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS, my geekdom hit an all-time high.  Here was a film I hadn’t read a thing about in any horror magazine or fanzine, and it starred John Saxon, an actor I had been a fan of since his stint as a robot opposite Lee Majors on the TV show THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN (1974-76 episodes).

Thankfully one of my buddies’ older brothers smuggled us into the Fox Twin Theatre, another defunct twin here on Staten Island that’s now the site of a multiplex.  For a Saturday afternoon, CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS was packed…but by the halfway point the theater had all but emptied.  The fools should have stuck out the slow middle…

I should point out—before I go any further—that I eventually discovered this film was a HEAVILY edited version of a 1980 Italian production released in Europe as CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE, and eventually released on VHS in America, still edited, as INVASION OF THE FLESH HUNTERS (got all that?).  As far as I know, this is the first Italian cannibal film to be shot almost entirely in Atlanta.  I forced myself to watch (okay—SCAN) through Image Entertainment’s uncut DVD version (under the title CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE) back around 2002, and am happy to report that the “uncut” version didn’t enhance or change my opinion of the film.  In fact, anyone seeking a gory cannibal/zombie outing can do themselves a favor and look elsewhere.

BUT: the film still has its moments.

Saxon locates a couple of P.O.W.’s in Vietnam.  To survive, the men resorted to cannibalism, and as Saxon tries to help one soldier out of a prisoner pit, he has a nice chunk taken out of his arm!  The theater DID go nuts over this opening sequence, which quickly ended and brought us back to modern-day Atlanta.  Giovanni Lombardo Radice (who would soon get a power drill through his head in Fulci’s THE GATES OF HELL (1983) ) plays one of Saxon’s ‘Nam buddies—and for some reason they’re both living in Atlanta.  When Saxon refuses to go out with him for a drink (apparently he’s still haunted by being bitten in ‘Nam), Radice heads to a local movie theater where instead of focusing on the feature, he watches some pervert lick his girlfriend’s body.  Radice has a flashback and decides to bite the poor girl’s neck, which causes the place to panic.  He’s chased by a bunch of crazed theater patrons, and a sorry-looking biker gang, into a thrift shop, where he’s eventually apprehended and sent to the hospital for observation.  DURING this fiasco, John Saxon is at home with a babysitter, who keeps giving him flashbacks every time she flirts by showing a little leg.  Knowing his wife is being unfaithful, Saxon gives in and goes down on her without literally eating anything, temporarily sating his cannibalistic urges with some playful nibbling.

At this point in the film, it became clear CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS wasn’t a zombie film, and while it moves well up to this point, the mid-section becomes quite tedious.  Patron after patron began to leave the theater, but my friends and I were confident something titled CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS simply HAD to have a pay off.

It does and it doesn’t.

The action slowly picks back up when Radice and the other rescued P.O.W. escape from a hospital along with a nurse they’ve bitten.  They run into the aforementioned biker gang right outside the hospital and a mini-brawl breaks out.  The trio goes on to infect unlucky citizens with their cannibal virus, and eventually meet up with their former captain, John Saxon.

The rest of the film turns into a violent action flick, complete with a nifty chase sequence through Atlanta’s sewers and a flamethrower battle at the finale.  The gore scenes cut out of this theatrical release (provided by ZOMBIE (1979) and THE BEYOND (1981)-alumni Gianetto De Rossi), which I finally saw on the DVD, include a gruesome close-up of Radice’s stomach after he gets a hole blown in it, a doctor having his tongue bitten off, and some sloppy mechanic having his leg sliced up like cold cuts at a deli.

I have no idea if director Antonio Margheriti was trying to make some kind of non-subtle point regarding the returning Vietnam vet as being the “real” monster, or if he just set out to make some cash by combining APOCALYPSE NOW and DAWN OF THE DEAD (both 1979).  What I came away with was a satisfying exploitation experience, despite the (then) lack of gore, which was made up for with uncomfortable sex scenes, plenty of action (despite the slow middle), and some of the worst left-over disco music ever to appear in a cannibal film (and THAT’S saying something).  I’ve read that John Saxon has publicly denounced the film, and co-star Radice has said Saxon seemed “out there” while the film was being shot.  Either way, CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS is must viewing for Saxon completists and lovers of so-bad-they’re-good grindhouse classics.  All others, stick to RAMBO…

© Copyright 2011 by Nick Cato

John Saxon discovers P.O.W.s just before getting bit in CANNIBALS IN THE STREETS!

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Suburban Grindhouse Memories: LOVELY BUT DEADLY (1981)

Posted in 2011, Action Movies, Campy Movies, Crime Films, Grindhouse, Kung Fu!, Nick Cato Reviews, Suburban Grindhouse Memories with tags , , , , , on September 22, 2011 by knifefighter

SUBURBAN GRINDHOUSE MEMORIES
Kung-Fu Cheerleaders JUST SAY NO!
By Nick Cato

1981 was not only a good time for slasher flicks…it seemed every week there was some kind of DEATH WISH rip-off or kung fu movie being released (at least here in New York City). Enter LOVELY BUT DEADLY, a film with an amazing exploitation poster (see above) and to my delight, a PG rating (I was only thirteen at the time, and Staten Island’s (now defunct) Fox Twin Theater wasn’t crazy about letting under-age kids into R-rated films). So, knowing I’d be able to get in without offering some older teenagers popcorn if they bought my ticket (for whatever reason I attended this one solo), I headed to a Saturday afternoon showing.

The trashy goodness beings with an oddly-filmed beach party and a 007-sounding rock soundtrack during the opening credits, then we’re introduced to beautiful star Lucinda Dooling, who previously had a tiny role in the 1979 comedy classic 1941, then later appeared on a few TV shows, most notably on a 1983 episode of THREE’S COMPANY. In LOVELY BUT DEADLY, she plays Mary Ann Lovette, but her friends (and enemies) call her Lovely (get it? Get it??). The aforementioned opening beach party is the type that only seems to happen in low-budget films. One guy (who had been smoking more weed than Cheech & Chong in all of their films combined) finds his way to the ocean and ends up drowning. It turns out the dude is Lovely’s brother…and before you can say “BOO!” Lovely decides to make every drug dealer in her high school pay.

The first murder is the best in the film. Lovely accepts an offer to hang out at some video stud’s apartment (which looks more like a local cable TV station after being ransacked) and she learns his nickname is Captain Magic, a dealer who even has his own special brand of pot on the market (known as ‘Elephant’). Using her sexy left-over 70s red jumpsuit to seduce him, Lovely manages to pin the Captain’s hands behind his back as she dumps his entire stock of dope down his throat. Come on folks…PG-rated cinema doesn’t get more exciting than this!

The film then slows a bit as Lovely befriends some dorky dude who she takes home to meet her parents and aunt. The audience began yelling things such as “What the F…?” when this guy drives Lovely’s parents to the airport only a few minutes after meeting them. We’re never told why. And this isn’t the only head-scratching, out-of-place sequence in the film.

The next thing you know Lovely is sucking face with some guy in a rock band for what seems like twenty minutes (of course making out means they’re now boyfriend and girlfriend). Then the film abruptly cuts to two guys coming into Lovely’s high school: apparently word somehow got out that there’s an anti-drug vigilante at large. She manages to take care of them in one of the most unconvincing fight sequences I’ve ever had the pleasure of sitting through in a cinema (added laughs come from another one of Lovely’s dorky male friends who takes a beating from the two thugs before she straightens them out).

The HANDS DOWN best sequence involves a cheerleader who goes after Lovely for hitting on her drug-dealer boyfriend. As soon as the cat fight begins, the cheerleader’s buddies show up to help pummel Lovely. BUT…Lovely’s friends from karate class happen to arrive in the nick of time for an all-out, horrendously choreographed locker room throw-down that had the mainly male crowd at the Fox Twin shouting in teenage delight (and surprisingly there’s a quick flash of boobies that somehow made it past the 1981 MPAA censor board). I remember this because I am a guy.

As if this wasn’t enough, Lovely is later invited to a massive party at the cheerleader’s boyfriend’s pad, where she makes out with him before stealing some of his stash THEN having another fight with the cheerleader, this time using food as their weapons (keep in mind ANIMAL HOUSE (1978) was still fresh in every movie producer’s mind at this time). Before long an old drug dealer named Honest Charley shows up and eventually invites Lovely to visit his mansion. MISTAKE! Charley finds out Lovely has been killing all his drug dealers and he keeps her captive by a boat yard (why he doesn’t just whack her is anyone’s guess).

In one unforgettable sequence, Honest Charley has his two goons murder the cheerleader’s boyfriend, thinking he was trying to take over his drug business. They stuff him into a cardboard refrigerator box and cook him to death by inserting a steam hose through a hole in the side. Why this film didn’t win an Oscar for Best Screenplay is a tragedy of the highest sorts.

In the spectacular mess of an ending, Lovely escapes when one of Charley’s goons tries to do the horizontal mambo with her. She steals a boat that quickly runs out of gas but for some reason the guys chasing her collide and die. An epic dock-battle ensues as soon as Lovely makes it back to land. She faces Charley and his gang of thugs with her posse of kung-fu high school girls (who again show up in the nick of time). While I’m making this sound much more epic than it actually looks on screen, you have to give director David Sheldon credit for not letting the film’s budget influence his ambition.

The crowd groaned during the post-conclusion when Lovely learns her musician boyfriend had been supporting the school drug dealers to help get his band established. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

Along the ride there are appearances from a who’s who of cult movie and TV personalities, including SEINFELD’s Richard Herd, John Randolph from SERPICO (1973), Pamela Jean Bryant from H.O.T.S. (1979), Irwin Keyes from THE WARRIORS (1979), Mary Beth McDonough from MORTUARY (1983) and Wendell Wright from THE HOWLING (1981), just to name a few.

Some have called LOVELY BUT DEADLY a remake of the 1973 Pam Grier classic COFFY, and although it’s similar it’s nowhere near as good. But if you like cheesy fight sequences, hysterical dialogue, and cute babes kicking the crud out of each other, you may just enjoy this forgotten action offering.

I know I did.

© Copyright 2011 by Nick Cato

Lovely (Lucinda Dooling) being threatened by cheerleader (Pamela Jean Bryant) before an epic catfight in LOVELY BUT DEADLY (1981)


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Suburban Grindhouse Memories: LADY TERMINATOR!

Posted in 2011, 80s Horror, Action Movies, Cult Movies, Cyborgs, Exploitation Films, Grindhouse, Hot Chick Movies, Nick Cato Reviews, Suburban Grindhouse Memories with tags , , , , , on September 8, 2011 by knifefighter

SUBURBAN GRINDHOUSE MEMORIES
“She Mates . . . Then She TERMINATES!“
By Nick Cato


June, 1989. I see an ad in the NY Daily News for what promises to be a real wild one. I venture out of the safety of my suburban neighborhood (alone) and hit the still-sleazy pre-Guiliani Times Square for what would be my final visit to the famed area before it was cleansed a few years later. Getting off the train around 36th Street, I see a HUGE billboard poster for LADY TERMINATOR, and attempted to peel it off. No luck. I was offered weed and other substances at least five times during my eight-block trek uptown to the theater. One guy claimed to have switchblades. I kept walking, keeping my eyes straight ahead, hoping I made it to the theater in one piece.

MAN, do I miss the old NYC.

LADY TERMINATOR played solo, a rarity for a Times Square feature at that time. I attended an afternoon showing, and the place had at least a dozen people in attendance…yet I was thrilled about ten minutes into the film when screams and comments were flying as loudly as any midnight screening of ROCKY HORROR could hope for.

Check out the plot of this Indonesian import: An anthropology student named Tania Wilson (played by the beautiful Barbara Ann Constable in her ONLY credited role) becomes possessed by some ancient queen—while exploring her underwater lair. In a surreal/dream-like sequence, Tania finds herself swimming one second then tied to a huge bed the next. An eel-like creature wiggles up the sheets and into her vagina, causing her to become possessed. She soon emerges on shore (stark naked) and interrupts a lame drinking party where she wastes a couple of losers. After taking one of their leather jackets (yeah, this follows THE TERMINATOR (1984) quite closely at this point), she begins an all-out attack that’d make Hurricane Irene green with envy. While it’s never clear why this ancient sea witch is bent on revenge, the audience (and I) really didn’t care. Tania (aka the LADY TERMINATOR) goes TOTALLY BALISTIC, creating a body count ten miles high via machine guns and a couple of brutal sex scenes (Remember the tag line: “She mates…then she TERMINATES!” One blurb that lives up to its promise).

Why this woman is turned into a cyborg-type revenge creature by an ANCIENT sea witch is anyone’s guess, but that’s not even a quarter of a quarter of the flaws in this insanely ridiculous action romp. And when Tania starts her killing spree, you’ll either overlook these flaws, ride with it and have the greatest time of your trash film life, or shut the DVD off and continue to be a dullard (This film is actually playing in NYC at a rare screening in a couple of weeks—I’m freaking out that I can’t attend— hence the inspiration for this week’s column).

What put the crowd into a screaming frenzy were several repeated scenes, especially one of Tania spraying a group of military men with machine gun fire: that had to be shown at least five times. I’m guessing this saved the film crew from having to shoot from different angles? Either way, this is the type of thing that makes “so-bad-they’re-good” movies memorable.

I’m a big fan of the original TERMINATOR. BUT, I can sit through LADY TERMINATOR a thousand more times without being bored, as it contains more car chases, explosions, gore, violence, nudity and sheer insanity than a dozen low budget rip-offs combined. (It should be noted that star Barbara Ann Constable is also credited as doing the make-up for the film, too).

The most amazing aspect of LADY TERMINATOR is it’s ability to entertain to the CORE, despite a plot that’s all over the place (or not even there, depending on who you talk to), dialogue that’s beyond inept, and question after question after question and confusion on top of confusion. SOMEHOW this pile of Indonesian trash WORKS. It’s a true miracle of low-budget filmmaking that I’ve been contemplating for the past twenty-two years, made worse by my second viewing via a VHS screening in the early 90s.

I think I’m finally ready to seek this out on DVD…although when I do it’ll be hard not to toss it in the DVD player for weekly viewings.

LADY TERMINATOR was one of the greatest exploitation films I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing on the big screen with my fellow Noo Yawk trash hounds at the near-end of the GENUINE grindhouse era.

I think I’m gonna go cry now…

© Copyright 2011 by Nick Cato

LADY TERMINATOR (Barbara Ann Constable) begins her body count that makes the original TERMINATOR look like an episode of SESAME STREET!

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Bill’s Bizarre Bijou: SHADOWS IN AN EMPTY ROOM (1976)

Posted in 1970s Movies, 2011, Action Movies, Bill's Bizarre Bijou, Cop Movies, Crime Films, Drive-in Movies, Exploitation Films, Grindhouse, William Carl Articles with tags , , , , , , on September 1, 2011 by knifefighter

Bill’s Bizarre Bijou

By William D. Carl

This Week’s Feature Presentation:

SHADOWS IN AN EMPTY ROOM (1976)


Welcome to Bill’s Bizarre Bijou, where you’ll discover the strangest films ever made. If there are alien women with too much eye-shadow and miniskirts, if papier-mâché monsters are involved, if your local drive-in insisted this be the last show in their dusk till dawn extravaganza, or if it’s just plain unclassifiable – then I’ve seen it and probably loved it. Now, I’m here to share these little gems with you so you too can stare in disbelief at your television with your mouth dangling open. Trust me, with these flicks, you won’t believe your eyes.

Today’s presentation is SHADOWS IN AN EMPTY ROOM (1976) aka BLAZING MAGNUM, aka .44 SPECIAL, aka TOUGH TONY SAITTA, an unknown piece of Canucksploitation from our neighbors to the north with a helping hand from Italian director Alberto de Martino (under the nom-de-plume Martin Herbert). Now, our friend Alberto’s been making movies since the early 1960s, such as THE BLANCHEVILLE MONSTER (1963), the execrable THE PUMAMAN (1980), BLOOD LINK (1982), and the dreadful MIAMI GOLEM (1985), so I wasn’t expecting much. I am delighted to report I was totally wrong, and SHADOWS IN AN EMPTY ROOM is one hell of a great ride in almost every way.

Stuart Whitman (of KNOTS LANDING, MURDER SHE WROTE, and THE FBI fame) stars as tough cop Tony Saitta, who promptly after the credits stops the getaway of a bunch of crooks by destroying half of a city and showcasing some truly amazing slo-mo stunt-work. His sister, Louise, (Carole Laure- SWEET MOVIE -1974, GET OUT YOUR HANDKERCHIEFS-1978) calls from Montreal with an emergency, but he’s too busy chasing bad guys to take the call. His partner is played by exploitation veteran John Saxon (BLOOD BEACH, BEYOND EVIL, BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS – all 1982, a typical year for the busy Saxon). Martin Landau, Oscar winner for ED WOOD (1994) but also star of exploitation classics ALONE IN THE DARK (1982) and WITHOUT WARNING (1980), plays a doctor and professor with ties to the sister and a wife with psychological issues.

By the time our anti-hero returns his sister’s call, she’s died mysteriously at a party, and he must fly to Montreal to identify the body. Before you can sing a verse of ‘Oh Canada’, Tony Saitta is investigating Louise’s death with the aid of Saxon and Louise’s blind friend Julie, played by Tisa Farrow, sister of Mia and recipient of a giant splinter to her eyeball in Lucio Fulci’s ZOMBIE (1979). Hmmm, Mia was blind in SEE NO EVIL (1971) and her sister is blind in this one. Coincidence? Only the producers know for sure.

Suspects begin popping up like litigators around an ambulance in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Ex-boyfriends, new boyfriends, her doctor, and more, and Stuart Whitman gets to slap around almost every one of them. Whitman and Saxon make a good buddy cop team, intensely interrogating possible killers, arguing, and actually creating interesting characters along the way. The acting is far better than is necessary for the material, and the mystery is all the stronger for it.

Another young woman who was at the same party as Louise has her head bashed in, before being fed to a rock crusher in a quarry. Only, it turns out the girl was actually a guy in drag. “Like something you’d find in a fruit market?” Whitman asks, raising a knowing eyebrow. Rummaging through sex shops for information about transvestites, Tony finds the address of a group of drag queens living together in catty bliss. Cut to the home of Cinderella and her evil stepsisters, three bitchy queens in full glamour drag. As soon as he starts his usually rough interrogation, the “girls” fight back. You ain’t seen anything till you’ve seen Stuart Whitman judo-kicked through a glass door by a silver lame’ clad drag queen! After they all beat the crap out of each other for at least five minutes, they call truce and we all find out who the murdered transvestite was.

Tony Saitta gets his butt kicked by a gang of drag queens in BLAZING MAGNUM (aka SHADOWS IN AN EMPTY ROOM)

Meanwhile, someone has started leaving traps for the blind girl in her apartment, and she almost plummets to her demise when she wanders into a room under construction with a huge hole in the wall, several stories above the street. Didn’t she feel the breeze? Didn’t she hear the birds?

All the suspects appear to be sleeping with each other, and many secrets begin coming to the foreground. Who knew Montreal was such a swinging town? Margie Cohn, wife of the college president, seems to be at the center of the web of lies, and since she’s played by the stunningly lovely Gayle Hunnicutt (THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE-1973) we would follow her and her fibs anywhere.

Subway brawls, midget informants, blackmail schemes, helicopter escapes, and one of the greatest car chases of all time. I’m serious! This is as good as, if not better than, the chase scenes from THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971), BULLIT (1968), or THE BOURNE IDENTITY (2002). The editing, the music, the sound effects, the stunts are all first-rate all the way for the full extent of seven and a half minutes. Yes, a motorcycle plows into the requisite pile of empty boxes, but one double jump is so impressive that it’s shown four times from four different camera angles. It culminates in both cars leaping over a moving train, getting attached, and then the chase continues through a rock quarry. Are there really this many rock quarries in Montreal? The stunts were coordinated and choreographed by Remy Julienne, who also devised the driving stunts for THE ITALIAN JOB (1969), FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981), and THE DA VINCI CODE (2006). It’s the centerpiece action scene in an action-filled flick, and it is an adventure lover’s dream come true. If you’d like to check it out, it’s on Youtube at www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-mGNk9lLuE .

There’s even a giallo scene in which a character is killed in the same room as the blind girl, who can’t see the killer or escape. When the murderer is revealed, it’s actually pretty shocking and involves a baby in a hospital nursery held at knife-point. This movie’s really got it all. I wonder if Quentin Tarantino’s ever seen it?

SHADOWS IN AN EMPTY ROOM isn’t a perfect film. The photography is as flat as a made-for-TV movie of the week, and the music is pretty much dated and sounds like leftovers from THE STREETS OF SAN FRANSISCO (1972 – 1977), and there are a few confusing spots in the script, but there’s an honest grittiness to the whole thing. The acting is pretty terrific, the action is unbelievably realistic and exciting – especially that car chase sequence – and the mystery is actually compelling. What a wonderful piece of entertainment! Why isn’t this thing well known? It deserves to be. It’s a million times better than any current summer action movie playing the multiplexes, and there isn’t a computer-generated stunt in the whole 100 glorious minutes. These are real people endangering themselves for your enjoyment. I raise a Guinness to them. Salute!

Don't mess with Stuart Whitman as Tony Saitta!

I saw this on a collection of DVDs called GRINDHOUSE EXPERIENCE 2 from Fortune 5 DVDs under the title, BLAZING MAGNUM. I believe this may be the only way to find this rare film, but it is well worth seeking out.

I give it four rock quarries out of four.

© Copyright 2011 by William D. Carl

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NIGHTMARE! Finally On DVD!

Posted in 1980s Horror, 2011, Drive-in Movies, DVD Review, Gore!, Grindhouse, Italian Horror, Nick Cato Reviews, Psychos, Slasher Movies, Suburban Grindhouse Memories, VIOLENCE! with tags , , , , , on August 11, 2011 by knifefighter

SUBURBAN GRINDHOUSE MEMORIES
FINALLY!  The Wait is OVER…
By Nick Cato

Most (if not all) of my faithful readers are sick and tired of hearing me go on about the 1981 slasher film NIGHTMARE (a.k.a. NIGHTMARES IN A DAMAGED BRAIN).  I’ve been telling people about it since 1982, when I first saw it on a double bill with MOTHER’S DAY (1980), and I’ve had countless family members and friends sit through my well-worn VHS copy over the years.  And yet despite the digital video uprising, a proper DVD had not been released in America (those with turbo-DVD players had the option to buy a British DVD that has been on the market for several years).  Enter CODE RED DVD, a specialty DVD company who release deluxe editions of rare and seldom-seen horror, action, and comedy films.  Since 2007, CODE RED had been promising a DVD of NIGHTMARE, and due to too many factors to discuss here, it was continually placed on their back burner.  We die-hard fans visited CODE RED’s blog nearly every day, awaiting word, and were occasionally teased with pictures and info of the coming DVD extras.

AT LONG LAST: on July 26th of this year, NIGHTMARE was finally released in a 2-disc package that has already become as controversial as the film itself (sorry about the plug, but for a full review of the film, see my chapter in the book BUTCHER KNIVES AND BODY COUNTS— to be released shortly from Dark Scribe Press).

Before I get to the DVD review, newcomers should know that NIGHTMARE is a generic slasher film.  It’s low budget, features some less than stellar acting, and has a sequence or two of gabbing and walking around that the editors should’ve cut in half.  But what set NIGHTMARE apart from other “psycho-leaves-nuthouse-too-early” films is its grueling tone, its over-the-top splatter scenes (how this was released with an R rating is anyone’s guess), and an amazing performance by star Baird Stafford, who portrays George Tatum, a killer haunted by a vicious murder he committed at a young age.

NIGHTMARE instantly made the UK’s “Video Nasty” list, and there was much controversy over who was responsible for the disgusting special effects (there’s a few extras on this DVD that deal with the Tom Savini-issue…if you haven’t heard about this, Google it— or better yet, get the DVD).

Before I sat down to review this DVD, I read what some fans were saying about it and was surprised to see so much arguing.  Some praised the three (yep—three!) transfers of the film included here, while others claim CODE RED did a sloppy job with all of them.  I watched the entire film in its newest transfer (a 2011 telecine), which looked fine to me.  I then scanned through certain scenes on the 2008 high definition transfer and the 2005 “corrected telecine transfer approved by director Romano Scavolini.”  To be honest, there are differences, but I’m not one of those “VIDEO WATCHDOG” anal-retentive film inspectors who spends countless hours deciding if someone’s toe made it into a certain frame or not: to me they ALL look good, and I’m just happy to have this film preserved on a digital edition (hence, if YOU’RE an anal-retentive DVD freak, go check out the arguments happening on Amazon.com and various message boards.  Life’s too short for this nonsense, in my opinion).

The DVD itself is a lot of fun: the main menu boards feature moving scenes from the film (although I thought it was a bit too spoiler-ish to show the intense finale on one of these) and each board is easy to navigate (as far as I know there are no “Easter Eggs” here).  Among the extras is a VERY informative audio commentary with star Baird Stafford and make-up effects man Cleve Hall.  There’s a very nice “Making Of” feature with more from Stafford and Hall, as well as ex-distributor Tom Ward.  But perhaps the most sought-after extra here is an interview with special effects maestro Ed French,  who gives his side of the Tom Savini story (again, Google this if you’re interested).  It’s a bit short, but good.  There are also two NIGHTMARE trailers, one that I hadn’t seen before.

NOW, where CODE RED has annoyed some fans: While it’s true that we NIGHTMAREians have haunted Code Red to release this film for years, one of the main reasons (besides financial) was the inability to have a 90-minute interview with the director translated and/or subtitled.  Yet the interview is included here in Italian–I’m assuming CODE RED did this to break our chops (and after you see the sarcastic blurbs and synopsis they’ve placed on the front and back of the DVD case, you just might agree).  I’m guessing those who aren’t die-hard fans of the film might get pissed off over this…personally, I found it funny.  TRUE, I’d like to hear what Romano Scavolini has to say about his only horror film, I guess I’ll have to wait until I can convince my grandmother to come over and translate for me…

Was the wait for this DVD worth it?  For me, while someone could’ve released it without all the extras and I’d still be happy, having the aforementioned commentaries and especially the Making Of feature was WELL worth the wait.  And although I actually spoke to Tom Savini at a 1985 FANGORIA convention about his involvement with the film, it was nice to hear two other sides of the story (and all three basically mesh).

If you have a cast iron stomach and want to see a gore film that’s actually spooky at times, give NIGHTMARE a shot; aside from the first EVIL DEAD (1982), it’s the one horror film where the splatter actually ADDED to the chills and caused a disturbing atmosphere.  I also believe any serious horror film DVD collector should have this seldom-seen gem in their collection (while they still can).

Now let me see what grandma is up to…

© Copyright 2011 by Nick Cato

George Tatum (Baird Stafford) dons a creepy old man mask, then checks to see if anyone's home in NIGHTMARE (1981).

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Bill’s Bizarre Bijou: SCREAM OF THE BUTTERFLY (1965)

Posted in 2011, B-Movies, Bill's Bizarre Bijou, Drive-in Movies, DVD Review, Grindhouse, Strange Cinema with tags , , , , on August 10, 2011 by knifefighter

Bill’s Bizarre Bijou

William D. Carl

This Week’s Feature Presentation:

SCREAM OF THE BUTTERFLY (1965)

Welcome to Bill’s Bizarre Bijou, where you’ll discover the strangest films ever made.  If there are alien women with too much eye-shadow and miniskirts, if papier-mâché monsters are involved, if your local drive-in insisted this be the last show in their dusk till dawn extravaganza, or if it’s just plain unclassifiable—then I’ve seen it and probably loved it.   Now, I’m here to share these little gems with you so you too can stare in disbelief at your television with your mouth dangling open.  Trust me, with these flicks, you won’t believe your eyes.

This week we’re watching a wonderfully demented sex-noir from 1965, SCREAM OF THE BUTTERFLY.  Boy howdy, this one starts with a bang!  A blonde with a bouffant screams and practically spits at the camera, “Why I ever left Paul for you, I’ll never know.  You degenerate!  You’ll pay.”  A voice shouts, “I’m warning you Marla…”  The blonde moves into the driveway, where someone puts a car in gear and promptly runs her down.  Cue the credits running over footage from the film we’re about to witness and beautiful lush music.  Lush music suddenly transforms into wild jazz over footage of go-go dancers (this jarring shift in tone will be indicative of the movie we’re about to see).  Wonder of wonders, the director is also the choreographer – Eber Lobato, and the movie stars his wife Nelida Lobato.  And the cameraman was Ray Dennis Steckler, director of such ignominious features as THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES (1964), THE THRILL KILLERS (1964), and RAT PFINK A BOO BOO (1966)

Back to our sordid tale – a handsome Adonis is arrested by the coppers while an older man watches.  Marla is body-bagged and we are suddenly in a lawyer’s office and a whole new film stock.  They speak to Paul Williams, the husband not the star of PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE (1974).  “This case has everything.  A beautiful girl, a rich husband, a little punk who kills her with two witnesses, and still there is a chance for a real good defense.”  They speak about justice and how this “sort of thing” should be exposed so the public can see it all.  Cue flashbacks:

Boring schmuck and airplane magnate Paul Williams is seduced by statuesque Marla during a modeling session in front of one of his aircraft.  After a whirlwind romance, they’re married, but before the bouquet lands, Marla’s stepping out with the always shirtless, achingly handsome David (Nic Navarro, star of 1963’s HOOTENANY HOOT) .  What follows are several actually erotic love scenes on the beach, including a hot number with the pair rolling in the crashing surf during a thunderstorm, ala 1953’s FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (only Deborah Kerr never lost her bikini top!).  During their dalliances, an older man, Christian, keeps appearing to make snide comments, and when we cut back to the DA, we hear him explain that Christian is the case and the star witness.  Meanwhile, while chump of the year Paul plays golf and Christian lurks a bit, Marla frolics in a bubble bath and along the beach, tossing in just enough nudity to attain an ‘adults-only’ rating.

FROM HERE TO ETERNITY...this ain't!

Back in the lawyer’s office, the arguments and hateful dialogue continue.  “Marla was a crummy little tramp.”  “I can bring in a creep from Los Angeles that’ll prove Jesus Christ was a manic depressive.  Great, we’ll get him the chair.”  They even refer to our heroine as “Miss Slutsy Wutsy.”

After more flashbacks involving a rocking band and several table dancing scenes, Marla cheats, Christian lurks, and the hotel lifeguard teaches Paul how to swim so he can surprise his wife later.  And boy is it a surprise!  Marla tries to kill Paul by taking him out in a boat and pushing him overboard.  Little did she realize, her schnook husband would end up saving her when she’s struck on the head by the capsized vessel.

And it all comes back to Christian Deval, played by the film’s writer Alan J, Smith.  A self-loathing homosexual entangled with several of the film’s characters, this flick predates THE BOYS IN THE BAND (1970) in more ways than one.  Viewed through the lens of the mid-sixties, the film has a very dated, yet advanced-for-the-time philosophy on bisexuality, homosexuality and mental illness.  Gays are both to be pitied and reviled, yet the film shows them in a somewhat sympathetic light.

SCREAM OF THE BUTTERFLY appears to be an unfinished movie by Eber Lobato, including all the flashback scenes.  The scenes in the lawyer’s office were directed by Howard Veit, and they complete the story, even if in a different kind of film stock.  But  both segments contain similar hateful dialogue, crisp black and white photography, and, with the exception of William Turner as Paul (a crummy actor in every scene), pretty good acting.  I especially like the conniving Nelida Lobato, whose every move is feral and seductive.  Originally a dancer and singer from Argentina, Nelida really pulls off the femme fatale role.  It’s too bad she never really acted again.  Then again, nearly everyone in the movie or behind the camera never worked again.  SCREAM OF THE BUTTERFLY has fallen into the pit of disappearing movies.

Love, lust...and a volleyball.

And it’s too bad, because the script is pretty terrific, full of wickedly sly innuendos and noir-ish winks.  See the following examples:

1.

“It’s open and shut.”

“So’s a mousetrap.  Doesn’t mean you catch a mouse every time it shuts.”

“But even if it misses, it makes a hell of a noise.”

2.

“So, she’s a tramp.  That’s no reason to kill her.”

3.

“When last we saw the Virgin Queen, she was making love to my client on the beach.”

4.

“Paul Williams was aware his wife was athletic.”

“I don’t think he was aware of the breadth of her definition of athletics.”

5.

“That punk’s nothing but a male whore.”

6.

“As a lover you’re a mockery, and as a man you’re a cripple!”

A terrifically devious and deviant film-noir, SCREAM OF THE BUTTERFLY is a fabulous little movie that could’ve been a minor hit,  but ended up an “adults-only”obscurity.  The bit of nudity and the sexually-oriented material kept it hidden.  Now, it should be rediscovered and given its due.  I give it three and a half sexually-confused volleyball players out of four.

You can get a copy of SCREAM OF THE BUTTERFLY from Something Weird Video in a download or as the second feature on a DVD with DAY OF THE NIGHTMARE (also from 1965).

© Copyright 2011 by William D. Carl

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Suburban Grindhouse Memories: INSEMINOID (1982)

Posted in 1980s Horror, 2011, Aliens, Drive-in Movies, Gore!, Grindhouse, Monsters, Nick Cato Reviews, Suburban Grindhouse Memories with tags , , , , on July 28, 2011 by knifefighter

SUBURBAN GRINDHOUSE MEMORIES
The Unborn Alien Avenger!
By Nick Cato

INSEMINOID? HORROR PLANET? Make up your minds already!

 

FANGORIA magazine had been running articles (and graphic stills) about an ALIEN-like gore-fest titled INSEMINOID.  Week after week, we gorehounds of the early 80s anticipated this potential gem’s release, and had all but given up when a film titled HORROR PLANET was unleashed in late 1982.  It turns out INSEMINOID had been re-titled (and as much as I LOVE the original title, perhaps HORROR PLANET was a bit more marketable?).  Either way, the (now defunct) Fox Twin Cinema was packed to the gills on opening night, with horny teenagers and underage patrons waiting for their long-awaited dose of otherworldly splatter.

It turns out the only similarity between this and ALIEN (1979) was in the alien impregnating someone.  In this case, a group of scientists are exploring the underworld of one of Jupiter’s moons (Why? I still have no idea—just go with it), when they happen to unleash a strange creature who forcefully does the intergalactic mambo with one of the prettier female scientists (hey—even monsters go for the hotties!).  Her pregnancy accelerates at an unearthly pace and her fellow explorers (in no certain terms) begin to look at her and her coming child as lab rats.  Unfortunately for these cosmonauts, whatever’s growing inside her is requiring human blood.  What follows is pure exploitation genius: Our pregnant heroine (Sandy, played by Judy Geeson—trust me, you’ve seen her in tons of TV shows) begins to protect herself and her unborn by slaughtering the rest of the cast, turning HORROR PLANET into one of the first intergalactic slasher movies I can think of.  And MAN does the sauce flow…

If you can overlook the horrendous acting and dialogue (if memory serves me, nearly every line was openly mocked at the screening I attended), HORROR PLANET is a decently made British flick with tons of brain-dead splatter fun in store for your viewing (or is that ‘spewing?’) pleasure: one guy’s stomach is blown apart with a laser gun as some poor woman is sliced to shreds with a pair of scissors, and another is eaten alive, in a genuinely savage scene of space-age cannibalism.  When Sandy finally gives birth, it turns out she was carrying twin humanoid creatures that come out of the womb with more goop and vomit-inducing green glop than even Linda Blair could’ve handled.  I haven’t seen the film since this fine evening around November of 1982, so I don’t know how much I’d enjoy this today…but at the time, I was in splatter/sleaze heaven.  And apparently, so was the crowd.  This is the first time I can remember the audience cheering during the kill sequences—a few years before this became the norm at FRIDAY THE 13th sequels (I believe FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 4 started this ritual—which—in my opinion—began to cheapen the feel and affect of most horror films).

If you’re a scifi fan, you’ll probably laugh at the primitive special effects, especially the base of command center (which looks like it was constructed on a really cheap set—or in someone’s basement!), and as mentioned, this is more of a gore film than a serious ALIEN wanna-be.

HORROR PLANET is worth a DVD viewing (I believe it was finally released under the INSEMINOID title), if, for nothing else, to show you how much fun and in-your-face these early gore-epics could be.

One thing’s for sure: you won’t have half as much fun with any other low-budget space monster film released since (and there’s simply NO WAY this would receive an R rating today).

-END-

© Copyright 2011 by Nick Cato

Sandy (Judy Geeson) takes matters into her own mouth in HORROR PLANET.

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Transmissions to Earth: THREE ON A MEATHOOK (1973)

Posted in 1970s Movies, 2011, 70s Horror, Campy Movies, Cannibalism, Family Secrets, Gore!, Grindhouse, LL Soares Reviews, Low Budget Movies, Madness, Psychos, Trasmissions to Earth, Weird Movies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 29, 2011 by knifefighter

TRANSMISSIONS TO EARTH: THREE ON A MEATHOOK (1973)
By L.L. Soares

"No Admittance During the Last Ten Minutes of This Movie"

Poor Billy Townsend. He’s just a young guy who wants to find a girlfriend and have a normal life. But his Dad won’t let him.

There are low-budget films, but 1973’s THREE ON A MEATHOOK looks so low-budget at times that it looks like someone’s home movies. Despite this, it’s still able to tell a story (a quality not all horror movies today can boast) and I have to admit, it’s downright funny at times (although unintentionally so).

The movie begins like a hundred other horror movies from the 70s. Four girls go to an island for a fun weekend, and their car breaks down in the middle of the woods, and night is falling. A kid in a truck named Billy (James Pickett) happens by and tells them he can’t fix their car, but they’re welcome to come stay at his house overnight until the local garage opens up in the morning. A crack of thunder convinces the girls to take him up on his offer. Besides, he’s a cute young guy. What harm can there be in staying at his house?

When they get to Billy’s house, the boy’s father (Charles Kissinger) demands that he “get upstairs” where the man lectures his son about “You know what happens when you’re around girls!” And Billy denying it and saying it’s not true.

"Not for the Bloody Mary for Lunch Bunch!"

The girls settle into their rooms and Billy brings a blanket and a pillow out to the shed outside. And then, something awful happens. Someone kills all the girls! The sexy blonde, taking a bath, gets stabbed. The other three girls get blown away by a shotgun. The next morning, Pa yells at Billy about “Look what you done!” but Billy has no memory of doing anything. As far as he knows, he was out in the shed, sleeping peacefully. But he goes inside and sees the horrible ways the girls were murdered and he’s dumbfounded by it all.

“You go into town and get some supplies, go see a movie, and I’ll take care of things here,” Pa says, assuring poor Billy that everything is going to be all right.

Billy goes to town, where he sees THE GRADUATE (1967) and then goes to a bar where he sits alone and drinks a lot. Then we see over 10 minutes of a band called American Xpress playing cheesy 70s rock onstage with occasional quick flashes back to Billy drinking.

A waitress named Sherry (Sherry Steiner) takes pity on him and asks what’s bothering him. He won’t tell her, but it’s obvious he’s a troubled lad. When he drinks too much and almost gets hauled away to the drunk tank by the police, Sherry takes him back to her place instead. He wakes up naked and asks her if they “did it,” but she assures him they didn’t. They spend the rest of the day together, and Billy thinks he’s falling in love.

He tells her about his farm and Sherry asks if she can come visit him the following Sunday. “I’ve never been on a farm before.” Billy says yes and then goes back home.

Okay, here’s where the questions start. Billy just brought four girls home and they were killed horribly. And this girl he likes asks to come over a week later and he says “Yeah, okay!” What’s up with that? You’d think he would be terrified to bring any more girls home, especially ones he likes. Is this kid an idiot?

Pa Townshend isn’t too happy to hear there are more visitors coming, and he tries to talk Billy out of it, but Billy won’t hear of it. During the week, Billy does his chores, and sometimes Pa goes into a shed he has padlocked (Billy never goes in there). Pa also is a “good cook” according to Billy and makes some very tasty “veal” dish.

Sherry comes out to visit the following Sunday. She brings her friend Becky (Madelyn Buzzard) with her. The three of them play in the cornfield and when Sherry and Billy get some time alone, they really seem to be falling for each other. Of course, something horrible happens that night, and the “secret” of the Townsend farm is revealed.

Only someone with a single-digit I.Q. wouldn’t see where this one was going early on. It’s pretty clear who the killer is from the get-go. And his reason for killing is pretty goofy. The ending to this one will at least make you laugh out loud.

With really fake-looking gore effects and mostly bad acting (there are even a few instances where the screen just goes blank for no reason), THREE ON THE MEATHOOK has one of those great grindhouse titles that is better than the actual movie. This one was written and directed by William Girdler, who went on to make such camp classics as the demonic-possession flick, ABBY (1974), the JAWS-on-land horror rip-off GRIZZLY (1976) and the goofy movie version of Graham Masterton’s Native American spirit-possession story, THE MANITOU (1978), all of which are worthy of being reviewed for this column at some point. He even directed the great Pam Grier in 1975′s  SHEBA, BABY!

"Don't Lose Your Head!" An example of the cutting-edge effects in 1973's THREE ON A MEATHOOK!

THREE ON A MEATHOOK is one of those movies that is so bad, you’ll be glad you saw it. Now let’s have some of that meat Pa’s been cooking. I hear it’s very tasting stuff.

© Copyright 2011 by L.L. Soares

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