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In The Spooklight: THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN!

Posted in 1950s Sci-Fi Films, 2011, B-Movies, Drive-in Movies, Giant Monsters, In the Spooklight, Michael Arruda Reviews, Mutants! with tags , , , , , , , on June 10, 2011 by knifefighter

This column on THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN originally ran in the HORROR WRITERS ASSOCIATION (HWA) NEWSLETTER way back in 2003.  I’ve selected it tonight to serve as a companion piece to L.L’s review of THE CYCLOPS which appeared on this site a few weeks back.  Both are Bert I. Gordon films about giant bald men.  I wonder if there’s a story behind this. —Michael Arruda

IN THE SPOOKLIGHT: THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN (1957)
By Michael Arruda

When one thinks of THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN, the 1957 science fiction horror film about a plutonium explosion gone wrong, one generally dismisses it as just another radiation-causes-giant-monster flick from the 1950s.  One certainly doesn’t compare it to the excellent thought provoking THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN (also made in 1957), which contains a remarkable script by Richard Matheson. And rightly so.  THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN is in a class by itself.

However, THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN is more than just a giant monster movie.  Director Bert I. Gordon, who also did the film’s special effects, co-wrote an intelligent script with Mark Hanna that really examined the horror of what it was like for a man to wake up one day and find that he had become a 60-foot giant.

Sure, the final third of the film shelves intelligence for the more traditional monster-battles-the-army finale, and can’t compare to Richard Matheson’s philosophical conclusion to THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN, but it still manages to work, somehow.  It’s fun, and the film’s switch to camp is almost a welcome relief from the seriousness that preceded it.

THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN tells the story of Glen Manning (Glen Langan, in a terrific performance), an army colonel who is accidentally exposed to a deadly plutonium bomb blast.  When Manning awakens after the explosion, he finds that he has grown to almost 18 feet tall.  Eventually, he reaches a height of 60 feet.

Bert I. Gordon’s script really delves into what it’s like for Manning to go through this ordeal, and it’s clearly the best part of the movie.  Actor Glen Langan also has a field day with the dialogue.  We feel his pain as well as laugh when he pokes fun at himself.  For example, when he jokes about his wardrobe, his expandable shorts, “Army ingenuity,” he says.

The best line, though, and my favorite from the movie, comes when Manning’s loyal girlfriend (Cathy Downs) encourages him not to give up.  His response, “What sin could a man commit in a single lifetime to bring this upon himself?”  That says it all.

Pay attention to these scenes of anguish and you can actually forget you are watching a 1950s science fiction film called THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN.  The script is far and away above where you’d expect it to be.

The special effects are OK.  Seen better.  Seen worse.  The most memorable effect is when the two scientists who are trying to cure Manning attempt to inject him with an antidote by jabbing him in the leg with a giant needle.  Manning pulls the humongous syringe from his leg, and then hurls it down at the vulnerable scientists, impaling one of them through the chest.  It’s quick, but you see it go right through the guy!  Pretty gruesome for 1957!

In the mood for some colossal fun?  Check out THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN.  He’ll grow on you.

—END—

© Copyright 2003 by Michael Arruda

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2010: MOBY DICK

Posted in 2011, Action Movies, Animals Attack, DVD Review, Garbage, Giant Monsters, Michael Arruda Reviews, Pickin' the Carcass, Remakes with tags , , , , , , on May 25, 2011 by knifefighter

PICKIN’ THE CARCASS:  2010:  MOBY DICK (2010)
By Michael Arruda

With a title like 2010:  MOBY DICK, I knew this one was going to be bad.  The only question was:  how bad?

Why watch a movie like this in the first place?  Well, while MOBY DICK, the famous American novel by Herman Melville, has never been one of my favorites, it does tell an entertaining story, one that strangely has yet to be captured effectively on film.  The 1956 version directed by John Huston and starring Gregory Peck, isn’t bad, but as a movie version of a classic literary novel, it fails to leave its mark as a classic film.  It’s worth watching mostly for Peck’s powerful performance as the maniacal Captain Ahab.  It lacks pacing and as a result it isn’t a very suspenseful movie, despite its subject matter.  JAWS, it ain’t!

The 1998 version starring Patrick Stewart isn’t bad either, but it’s a TV movie, and it just isn’t on the same level as a theatrical release.

So, when I heard there was a new version of MOBY DICK, one that updated the tale to modern times, I was intrigued, and that’s why I decided to watch this one.

2010: MOBY DICK, now available on DVD and streaming video, opens in 1969 with a young seaman, Ahab, on an American submarine that is attacked by an extremely fake looking CGI whale.  What’s a whale doing attacking a submarine, you ask?  Well, the Moby Dick in this version isn’t just an ordinary whale.  He’s a super prehistoric whale, which means he’s bigger and badder than the white whale in Melville’s novel.  He’s the Godzilla of white whales.   Now, before you get all excited and think, this sounds interesting, let me clarify for you the level of special effects in this one:  they’re LAND OF THE LOST  material—not the movie, but the old Saturday morning TV show.   They’re embarrassingly bad.

Seaman Ahab loses his leg to Moby Dick, and it’s actually a pretty gruesome scene, about the only effective scene in the movie.  It’s also about five seconds long, which means that’s as good as it gets.

The action then switches to present day where we meet Dr. Michelle Herman (Renee O’Connor).  She fills in for the Ishmael character in the novel, and we know this because her first line in the movie is the first line of the novel, but rather than “Call me Ishmael,” she says “Call me Michelle.”  Yup, it’s pretty lame.

Michelle studies whales, of course, and she’s recruited by the now Captain Ahab (Barry Bostwick) aboard his submarine “The Pequod” to help him hunt Moby Dick.  About the only thing this movie gets right are the names of the characters and the name of the ship, “The Pequod.”  It also mentions the Essex, the real life ship that was sunk by a whale and served as Herman Melville’s source material and inspiration for his writing MOBY DICK.  In this flick, the Essex is also a submarine.

And that’s pretty much the story.  Captain Ahab and his crew chase down Moby Dick, and if you’ve read the novel, you know what happens, and you know there’s only one survivor, the narrator of the story, in this case, Michelle.

The acting, directing, and writing in this one are all absolutely horrible.

Barry Bostwick—yes, that Barry Bostwick, Brad from THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW (1975), now an old man who looks more like Robert Frost than Captain Ahab—lacks the intensity and drive to be a believable Captain Ahab.  When he delivers his lines of hatred aimed at Moby Dick, he sounds like an old man barking at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn.  He’s miffed, but he’s not passionate.

Renee O’Connor (Gabrielle from XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS ~ editor’s note) is just plain awful as Dr. Michelle Herman.  She doesn’t come off as believable at all, and of course it doesn’t help that she has to speak some pretty horrible dialogue.  The rest of the cast aren’t any more memorable than a cast of cardboard cutouts, except for Derrick Scott as Pip, who wins the award for the most annoying character in the movie.

One of the weakest parts of 2010: MOBY DICK is the incredibly bad action scenes, completely mishandled by director Trey Stokes.  There are far too many close-up shots of the actors reacting to things— presumably destructive things— that Moby Dick is doing, yet we never see these things as they occur off camera.  For example, one scene actually has the white monster attacking a cruise ship, but the only way we see this is through the reaction shot of one passenger on the ship.  We never see the actual attack.  Now, I’m sure this means the film didn’t have much of a budget, but if you’re a director, you’ve got to do a better job at building suspense with what you have.  I mean, if you can’t make the scene work, don’t include it.

Also, Moby Dick varies in size.  In some scenes, he’s big enough to attack a cruise ship, and in others, when he’s near people, he appears much smaller.  The action scenes, or lack thereof, are just plain awful, which absolutely kills this movie, since there are so many of them.  The scenes in this one make the action scenes in old GODZILLA movies seem as if they were directed by James Cameron.

The screenplay by Paul Bales gets the names right, but that’s it.  The dialogue is laughable.

The special effects are horrible as well.  Moby Dick looks like the SyFy special.  The close-ups of the whale’s eye are effective, but that’s hardly enough.  At one point, Moby Dick actually leaps over an island.  Gee, I didn’t know whales could fly!

While I like the idea of updating MOBY DICK, this film doesn’t do justice or give the proper respect to the source material.  It’s a horrible movie, and it’s not even fun in the sense that it’s so bad it’s good.  It’s just bad.  It makes the previous two versions seem like CITIZEN KANE and CASABLANCA.

Like Captain Ahab, it deserves to sink to the ocean depths, never to be heard from again.

—END—

© Copyright 2011 by Michael Arruda

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Transmissions to Earth: THE CYCLOPS!

Posted in 1950s Sci-Fi Films, 2011, B-Movies, Classic Films, Deformed Freaks!, Giant Monsters, LL Soares Reviews, Monsters, Mutants!, Trasmissions to Earth with tags , , , , , , , , on May 19, 2011 by knifefighter

TRANSMISSIONS TO EARTH: THE CYCLOPS (1957)
DVD Review by L.L. Soares

Bert I. Gordon might be one of the most underrated filmmakers of the 1950s and 60s. Okay, maybe underrated is the wrong word. There’s a reason why he isn’t in higher esteem. A lot of his movies were pretty bad. But just about all of them were entertaining!

There’s a reason why Bert’s initials spell the word BIG. He was the king of the GIANTS. His classic giant insect movie, THE BEGINNING OF THE END (1957), was about giant grasshoppers decimating the nation with their need to feed. Also in 1957, Gordon made probably his most well-known film, THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN, about a soldier who is trapped in a bomb testing and the radioactivity turns him into a giant, and slowly drives him insane. That one even spawned a sequel, WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST (1958). There were also giant spiders (EARTH VS. THE SPIDER, from 1958), giant teenagers who take over a small town (VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS from 1965), giant ants (EMPIRE OF THE ANTS from 1977) and giant rats (FOOD OF THE GODS, from 1976). He even made a movie about people who were miniaturized to the size of dolls for a change of pace (1958’s ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE).

THE CYCLOPS (1957) is one of his earlier films, and it also features a giant. A disfigured giant man with one eye!

The story begins in Mexico, where Susan Winter (Gloria Talbott) is trying to get permission to take a plane into some mountains where her fiancée Bruce Barton crash landed three years before. The governor of the area says no, but she and her three man crew go there regardless (then why ask for permission?). The crew includes Russ Bradford (James Craig) a bacteriologist who was also a close friend of Bruce’s (and who is secretly in love with Susan), pilot Lee Brand (Tom Drake), who sure seems to drink a lot for someone who’s responsible for getting them around safely, and Marty Melville (legendary actor Lon Chaney Jr.) who helped finance the expedition and who has ulterior motives of his own – he is sure that there is a mother load of uranium in those mountains, and he plans to make a lot of money from it.

Right off the bat, there are a lot of questions, but the pure illogic of these kinds of movies is half the fun. First, off, why did Susan wait three years to finally search for Bruce? If Marty Melville is some rich guy looking to cash in on uranium, then why does he dress in overalls and look like a car mechanic? Why is Lon Chaney Jr., who was once a leading man in Universal horror films of the 1940s (he was the original THE WOLF MAN in 1941, after all), reduced to playing a supporting role here?

Also, their behavior doesn’t seem logical. While they are flying over the mountains, Marty gets impatient and punches Lee out, and tries to take over the controls of the plane, almost crashing and killing them all. Russ restrains him from behind and Lee wakes up in time to land them safely, but once they get out, nobody seems especially mad at Marty for risking their lives. At another point, Susan wanders off on her own. She screams and goes missing, and the men go looking for her, but not once do they call out her name. The first time someone sees one of the “animals” that lives in the area, it’s Russ who sees a giant lizard approach him from behind a hill. When he calls the others, they arrive and there is no lizard to be seen and Russ says he must have imagined it. (A gigantic lizard! You’d think you could tell if you imagined such a thing).

If you haven’t noticed, THE CYCLOPS doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Once the group starts seeing more and more giant animals, Russ comes up with a theory that all of the radioactivity in the area has affected the pituitary glands of the wildlife so that they don’t stop growing (of course this is bad science—in reality, they’d probably all just die off). There’s lots of bad effects of giant lizards and snakes and mice superimposed on the screen. None of it looks convincing.

Oh, remember I mentioned a scene where Susan screams and disappears? Turns out she saw the king of this desolate place, the Cyclops himself (Duncan Parkin), who is an odd-looking fellow indeed. Aside from being a 40 foot giant, he has skin growing over one side of his face (thus the reason why he’s a cyclops), exposed skull-like teeth on one side, and his one eye is big and bulging. Aside from the awful face, he looks like a normal giant man in a loincloth. He is incoherent and can only speak gibberish, but the team tries to communicate with him. He seems to have a special reaction to Susan, but it takes her a helluva long time to realize that this creature might just be her long-lost Bruce (and I just bet that grunting and groaning he does translates into “Why did you wait three years to come find me?”). But in the end, their attempts to reason with the giant are useless. He’s just too far gone.

Ultimately, Marty gets killed (not a big loss) and the rest have to get back to their plane and get out of there before the Cyclops kills them or the radiation eventually affects their cells enough so that they start growing too.

THE CYCLOPS is not one of Bert I. Gordon’s better films, but for some reason, I always found it very difficult to find. This was one of those movies I’d see stills of in issues of “Famous Monsters of Filmland” magazine as a kid, but I never saw the movie on video during the VHS days, and it took a long time before it was available on DVD (the version I recently found was put out by Warner Brothers)

After years of wanting to see this one, I have to admit, it fell far short of my expectations, which is too bad. But if you like movies with silly scripts, horrible special effects and hardly any scares, this one is for you. Actually, if you’re a fan of “so bad they’re good” films, you really might enjoy this one. I did.

© Copyright 2011 by L.L. Soares

DVD from Warner Brothers Studios
THE CYCLOPS (1957)
66 minutes
Directed, Written and Produced by Bert I. Gordon
Starring: Gloria Talbott, James Craig, Lon Chaney Jr. and Tom Drake
Not Rated

"The Cyclops" is quite a formidable foe in Bert I. Gordon's 1957 film.

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MEGAPIRANHA!

Posted in 2011, Animals Attack, Giant Monsters, Monsters, Mutants!, Pickin' the Carcass, SyFy Channel Movies with tags , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2011 by knifefighter

PICKIN’ THE CARCASS: MEGAPIRANHA (2010)
By Michael Arruda


It’s just not a good time to be a piranha.

After PIRANHA 3D (2010) topped my list as the worst theatrical horror release of 2010, here comes MEGAPIRANHA (2010) courtesy of the SyFy Channel which, by all accounts, is—even worse. How can you get lower than zero? We’re into negative numbers, I guess.

First of all, I already know what you’re thinking: why in the world would you bother with an original SyFy movie? Good question, and I don’t really have a good answer, except that this one starred Barry Williams from “The Brady Bunch!” I know, that’s really not such a good reason. My only other defense is that I’m a sucker for giant monster movies, and so I continue the elusive search for a good giant monster movie. After watching MEGAPIRANHA on DVD, the search goes on.

The movie opens in Venezuela with a boatload of people meeting their gruesome deaths at the teeth of vicious piranha in a scene that is about as dull and unexciting as a death scene featuring hungry piranha can be. Turns out that one of the victims was a U.S. ambassador, and the reports coming out of Venezuela are that the ambassador was assassinated.

Enter Secretary of State Bob Grady (Barry Williams) (who knew that Greg Brady would grow up to become Secretary of State!) who vows to get to the bottom of this mystery. He sends in military man Jason Fitch (Paul Logan) to find out just exactly what happened in Venezuela. Fitch looks like he was kicked out of Sylvester Stallone’s THE EXPENDABLES for being too nice!

Fitch hooks up with beautiful scientist Sarah Monroe (former pop star Tiffany) and they promptly fall in love (gee, that’s believable!). Monroe informs Fitch that she and her buddy scientists had been in the process of experimenting with genetic mutations in order to help the food supply for the world’s hungry— ah, such noble scientists— when they accidentally created a genetically mutated piranha— ah, such careless scientists. Not to worry, Sarah and her buddies destroyed the monster piranha, or so they thought. Turns out their deadly creations are on the loose and doubling in size ever few hours. Not only that, but they’re heading for Florida— mega piranhas’ destination of choice for Spring Break— unless Sarah and Fitch can stop them.

And it won’t be easy, because there’s a disgruntled South American Colonel (David Labiosa) who’s out to stop our heroes at every turn, because it seems, that’s what disgruntled South American colonels do.

What I want to know is, if the scientists were working on improving the food supply, what the heck were they doing experimenting on piranhas? I mean, who the hell eats piranhas? — ah, stupid, stupid scientists.

So, that’s the plot. The piranhas get bigger and keep attacking people, Fitch and Sarah invent ways to stop the piranhas from reaching Florida, ways that continually fail because the piranhas do reach Florida, and the evil colonel and his soldiers invent ways to stop Fitch and Sarah, ways that also continually fail, as Fitch and Sarah also make it to Florida.

From start to finish, MEGAPIRANHA is a mega mess.

The acting is horrible. Paul Logan as Jason Fitch looks like he should be playing a spoof of his character. He looks like he signed up to star in SCARY MOVIE 23 or something, as if he’s waiting for the script to be funny. As Sarah Monroe, Tiffany is pretty much awful.

Then there’s Barry Williams, Greg Brady himself, as the Secretary of State. Williams isn’t half bad, and he’s actually one of the better actors in the movie. Too bad I don’t believe he’s Secretary of State. That I never bought. Had he been some businessman interested in purchasing giant piranha, yeah, that I could have believed, but Secretary of State? Nope.

And his performance as the Secretary of State isn’t helped by the fact that nearly every time we see him, he’s alone. He’s talking to Fitch on his cell phone in his car; he’s alone. He’s walking along the street talking to Fitch on his cell phone; he’s alone. He’s the friggin Secretary of State! Where’s his entourage? Security personnel? Aides? The press?

That’s really the biggest problem with MEGAPIRANHA. It’s not believable in the least. Sure, I suppose you could argue that a movie about giant piranhas is not supposed to be believable, but it’s no secret, that the best horror films, regardless of their plot, are the ones that make the audience believe in what’s going on. To do that, you need convincing acting, which this movie doesn’t have, good writing, and creative directing, two other things this movie doesn’t have.

MEGAPIRANHA was written and directed by Eric Forsberg, so he gets to take the heat for both the lousy script and weak direction. The screenplay is plain awful, sorry to say. The dialogue is phony and the story just as bad.

Direction? Not very much. There’s not a memorable scene to be found, and the pacing is horrible. It just moves from one scene to another without any sense of dramatic build-up. I thought I was watching a bunch of commercials strewn together. I wasn’t drawn into this story at all.

I hate to be so critical, but in this business I have to call it like I see it, and in this one, I didn’t see much. Maybe Forsberg needs to do more rewrites before he films his next movie.

The CGI special effects are as fake-looking as you would expect in a SyFy movie. I’ve seen better visuals on my screen saver.

Skip MEGAPIRANHA. There’s nothing of value here.

About the only thing this flick is good for is fish bait.

—END—

© Copyright 2011 by Michael Arruda

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SKYLINE

Posted in 2010, Aliens, Apocalyptic Films, Cinema Knife Fights, Giant Monsters with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 15, 2010 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: SKYLINE
by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

FADE IN

(MICHAEL ARRUDA wakes up to find his bedroom flooded with light. He covers his eyes and goes out to the kitchen, where L.L. SOARES is helping himself to a large sandwich. The refrigerator door is open)

MA: What are you doing here?

LS: I woke up hungry.

MA: Then why not make a sandwich at YOUR house?

LS: I was out of mayo.

MA: What happened to your eyes?

(LS’s face looks burned, especially around the eyes)

LS: Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you. Don’t look out the window. If you look into the light, you’re doomed.

MA: Thanks for the warning.

LS: Actually I was hoping you’d play dumb, ignore my warning, and look out the window anyway.

MA: Maybe later. Right now, since you got me up, it’s probably a good time to review the movie SKYLINE.

LS (takes a bite of his sandwich): Good idea. Hmmm. Do you have any pickles?

MA: No. It’s your turn to start the review.

LS: Oh, okay.

(There’s a knock at the door)

MA: I’ll get it.

(MA opens to door to reveal the weird dwarf woman from the movie POLTERGIEST)

MA: Hello? What are you doing here? Don’t tell me someone is remaking POLTERGEIST now?

DWARF WOMAN: Go into the light. All are welcome.

MA: You’re in the wrong movie, sweetheart. SKYLINE tells us not to go into the light. Why don’t you go home?

DWARF WOMAN: I’d rather come in and talk about—.

(LS comes over the kicks the woman out in the hall and closes the door)

DWARF WOMAN (out in hallway): OUCH!

LS (to MA): Isn’t this your cue to complain about my abrasiveness?

MA: No. I’m no fan of POLTERGEIST, nor of that character.

LS: Are we finally seeing your dark side?

(Darth Vader-like breathing sounds come from outside the door.)

MA (to door): Sorry, no one’s home right now! (to LS) Let’s start that review.

LS: Right.

This week, our movie is SKYLINE (2010). It begins with people waking up on a particularly strange morning where loud noises are coming from outside, and bright light has the power to hypnotize you if you look straight into it. Then, we suddenly jump back 15 hours to see Jarrod (Eric Balfour) and his girlfriend Elaine (Scottie Thompson) on a plane, going to Los Angeles from the East Coast. They’re going to visit Jarrod’s old friend Terry (Donald Faison), who has since become a wealthy rapper. After a night of partying, they will all find themselves in a morning-after nightmare.

MA: Yep, it’s the dreaded flashback routine all over again. There’s nothing that ruins the natural flow of a story more than suddenly seeing the words superimposed on the screen, “15 hours earlier.” Why can’t we just start 15 hours earlier? Or skip the earlier part and stay with the dramatic action which opens the movie? I don’t get it. And I don’t like it.

LS: In this case, it’s clear they did it to give us a teaser before the name of the film came onscreen. Then, once they grabbed us, they went back to the backstory.

Anyway, overnight, strange blue fireballs have fallen from the sky. And large, menacing space ships hover in the skyline overhead, emitting bright light. Our protagonists try to figure out their best course of action. Should they stay in the building and try to avoid the strange monsters that occasionally look in from outside, or should they make a break for it?

It looks like the whole world has been taken over by these strange aliens.

MA: I guess. The characters say the whole world has been taken over, but we don’t actually see this. We see only what they see right outside their window. I for one wasn’t that impressed by what I was seeing outside that window.

LS: Never once does this movie explain what the aliens really are, or where they came from. All we need to know is that they’re dangerous, and they don’t think twice about killing us.

Aside from the big blue spaceships, there are also big, spidery things, as well as giant monsters who stomp around outside, smashing everything that gets in their way. There are several different kinds of monsters, but they all have a similar look to them. It’s also suggested that the various alien crafts, even the big spaceships, are also living creatures, made up of organic as well as machine parts.

SKYLINE just suddenly thrusts us into this situation and shows us the survivors panicking. They have no idea what is going on or how to protect themselves. The fact that all this happens without explanation actually works very well. We are thrust into the situation just as suddenly as the main characters are, and are as much in the dark as they are (despite the fact that the aliens like to shine bright lights on us).

At one point, we see hundreds, maybe thousands, of people being sucked up into a spaceship. What do they want with us?

MA: We were supposed to see this. I thought this was a poorly constructed scene with weak special effects. It looked like a cloud of dust to me.

LS: Yeah, you do have to look pretty closely to see the tiny people.

MA: Unimpressive.

(DARTH VADER knocks at the window.)

DARTH VADER: Unimpressive. Most unimpressive.

LS: I dunno, I liked SKYLINE. I like its pace and its adrenaline, and the actors were pretty good, too. I saw a lot of familiar faces from television here, including Balfour who has appeared in several shows over the years (including 24 and SIX FEET UNDER), Donald Faison (who many of you might recognize as Dr. Turk from the long running hospital sitcom SCRUBS) and David Zayas (who most recently has been on the Showtime series DEXTER, as Sgt. Angel Batista). I thought the characters were believable, for the most part – even if they weren’t always likable – and helped keep the movie moving at a brisk pace.

SKYLINE was directed by the Brothers Strause (Colin and Greg), who also gave us ALIENS VS PREDATORS: REQUIEM, which we actually gave a good review here at Cinema Knife Fight. I liked SKYLINE, too. I didn’t love it, but it’s dumb fun.

I really had no idea what to expect. When I saw the first trailer for SKYLINE a month or two back, it just looked like a straight-ahead alien invasion movie. Then, as the release date got closer, they released a second trailer a few weeks ago that revealed the movie also had giant monsters in it (bringing to mind CLOVERFIELD). Suddenly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to like this one or not. Would they be throwing in everything but the kitchen sink?

What we actually get, however, is an interesting variation on the whole WAR OF THE WORLDS scenario.

I liked SKYLINE and was pleasantly surprised by it. I give it two and a half knives. I guess I’d recommend seeing it at a matinee. If you’re interested, it’s better to see it on a big screen, but don’t pay for a full price ticket if you don’t have to.

What did you think of it, Michael?

MA: I was disappointed with SKYLINE. Seeing it back to back with MONSTERS, two movies about monstrous alien life forms arriving on earth, I didn’t like either film, but for different reasons.

The knock I gave MONSTERS was that there weren’t many monsters in it. Here, in SKYLINE, there are plenty of monsters. However, I just wasn’t impressed by the way they looked. The monsters in MONSTERS actually looked better and came off as more realistic. They just weren’t in the movie all that much. The quality of the monsters in SKYLINE reminded me less of CLOVERFIELD and more of TRANSFORMERS. In short, I thought they were kind of fake-looking, and very obvious CGI creations. I didn’t find them scary at all.

(Tentacles suddenly crash through the window and surge toward them)

LS: The aliens are coming!

MA: Nope, it’s just that idiot Squiddly, from the old Hanna-Barbera cartoons.

SQUIDDLY: Hey, I thought you guys would be scared!

LS: Hi Squiddly, my man. I thought you were super scary.

SQUIDDLY: No you didn’t. You’re just trying to make me feel better.

LS: Yeah, you’re right. Now get your slimy butt out of here before I make some calamari!

SQUIDDLY: Yikes! (disappears from outside the window)

MA: Wow, he slid away fast.

LS: Threatening to cook them always works.

MA: I had bigger problems with SKYLINE than just its sub-par monsters and special effects, though.

LS: Oh yeah, back to the review.

MA: I’ll start with the story. This should have been a compelling story, but for some reason, it never grabbed me. First off, the events are pretty much contained to the inside of the apartment building. Now this in itself is not a bad thing. What’s bad is all this time inside the apartment is largely wasted.

For example, there’s a scene where Terry seeks out his neighbor, an elderly gentleman who won’t let go of his tiny dog, and they’re inside the man’s apartment when the aliens break in.  You hardly have time to worry about their safety when the old man is snatched away to his death.  It’s a wasted scene.

There are a lot of wasted scenes like this that don’t generate the suspense you expect them to.

We also don’t get to see what’s happening in the rest of the world. I wanted to see this invasion. Again, this in itself is not necessarily a bad thing, but if you’re going to choose this route, then the scenes inside the apartment have got to be intense, and they’re just not.

Also, I wondered where everyone was? Where have all the people gone? Now I know that the aliens are abducting humans, but so many so fast? Really? I mean, within minutes of the event happening, the characters turn on the TV and there’s nothing on air at all. We see a newscast set just there without any people. They were all abducted that fast? I just didn’t buy this.

LS: The movie is just told from the viewpoint of a handful of people. I thought that kept things interesting. But it definitely goes back to NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1969), where people were trapped in a house surrounded by monsters. Man, I can’t tell you how many movies have ripped that premise off. SKYLINE was just the latest variation on the theme.

MA: I also didn’t really like the characters in this one or the acting performances. I found Jarrod and his girlfriend to be very annoying. In fact, I’d go so far as to say each of the main characters in this film was annoying. They just weren’t likeable. I wanted to see the aliens abduct them so we could move on to some new characters.

I thought the performances were weak. I like Donald Faison a lot, and I loved him on SCRUBS, and he’s acceptable here, but his characters isn’t so swift for a guy who’s supposed to be an overachiever. He comes off like a guy who’s drinks way too much coffee, and his leadership skills don’t exactly help the group’s cause.

Eric Balfour, who I saw in RISE OF THE GARGOYLES (2009) a movie I reviewed last year, walks around this whole movie looking like he’s constipated. He was OK in the GARGOYLES movie, and he’s so-so here. His face seems to be stuck in a weird expression in this one, as if he constantly smells crap and doesn’t know where the smell is coming from.

LS: Yeah, you’re right. He did look kind of constipated. Poor guy.

MA: I wasn’t impressed with any of the actresses in this one either.

I was very disappointed with the direction by the Brothers Strause (Colin and Greg). This movie lacks anything resembling a memorable scene, which is amazing when you think of its subject matter. The closest the movie comes to such a scene is the first appearance of the huge alien ship in the sky, coming out of the clouds, but again, I thought the special effects here was no better than average.

The monsters failed to impress me throughout the movie. They looked too polished and nice, rather than horrific and deadly.

There’s little suspense. The characters are running around scared, and they’re being chased by monstrous aliens, but the chase is from one apartment to another, from a roof back down to an apartment, from a parking lot to a street and then back. I just didn’t find it that cinematic.

The screenplay by Joshua Cordes and Liam O’Donnell was particularly weak. Things are left unexplained, and I know you thought this didn’t hurt the movie, but in a movie as weak as this, it didn’t help. The dialogue was plain and uninspiring. It’s bad when you start saying the lines before the characters do. You know the drill. Things like: “What were those things?” “I don’t know, but we gotta get out of here.” That sort of thing.

The characters Cordes and O’Donnell created were boring. Compare the folks in this film to the characters in CLOVERFIELD and you’ll notice right away a huge difference in the quality of writing. The characters in CLOVERFIELD were really fleshed out and came across as real people, and in spite of being terrified they were still humorous at times. The folks in SKYLINE aren’t fleshed out. They’re just going through the motions of being scared. I didn’t care about them at all.

LS: I agree with you that SKYLINE is not in CLOVERFIELD’s league, but I think you’re exaggerating some of your points. I let the movie suck me in and I wanted to find out what happened next. If you don’t think about it too, much, it’s a fun time.

MA: Well, I like to think when I’m watching a movie.

The ending to SKYLINE was absolutely silly. It was as if the writers decided to end the film this way to make up for the fact the ending might be too hopeless.

LS: I actually would have preferred a much bleaker ending. But it seemed like they decided to finally give us an explanation of what the aliens were doing with all those people they abducted. For what it is, I liked the ending. It worked for me.

MA:  I liked the explanation of what the aliens were doing.  I thought that part was actually cool.  I’m talking about what happened to Jarrod’s character.  I didn’t get that part at all.  What was that all about?  That’s the part I found silly.  He should have ended up like the rest of humankind.

Anyway, SKYLINE is a muddled mess, with little about it to recommend.

So, like MONSTERS before it, I give it 1 ½ knives.

LS: Oh well, we can’t agree on all of them. That’s two in a row that you were clueless about. I think you should avoid movies about alien monsters on earth.

MA: I think I should avoid BAD movies about alien monsters on earth. But unfortunately, we have to review them.

LS: Hey, can you take a look outside the window and see what’s going on?

MA: Yeah, sure— wait a minute.  You’re not going to trick me that easily! You look out the window! In fact, I’m going back to bed. Don’t forget to clean up after yourself before you leave.

LS: Awww, rats. I thought I’d be able to trick you.

(MA leaves the room, closes the door behind him.)

LS: Next time, buy some damn pickles!

(From behind the closed bedroom door shines a bright white light.)

LS:  I wish I could say I planned this, but I didn’t.  (calls through door)  Hey, don’t look at the light!

(Door opens and MA staggers out of room, disheveled and frightened.)

LS:  Are the aliens outside your window?

MA:  No, it’s that POLGERGEIST lady again.  She’s in my bed.

LS (grimaces): Oooh!  Now that’s a scary image.

MA:  You’re telling me!  I need to go for a walk.  Let’s go buy some pickles.

(They exit.)

FADE OUT

© Copyright 2010 by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

Michael Arruda gave SKYLINE – one and a half knives!

L.L. Soares gave SKYLINE - two and a half knives!

4 Comments »

MONSTERS

Posted in 2010, Aliens, Cinema Knife Fights, Giant Monsters, Monsters with tags , , , , , on November 8, 2010 by knifefighter

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: MONSTERS (2010)
by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

(The Scene:  a room decorated for a party, complete with balloons, party favors, a cake with candles, and monster-themed decorations.  The only thing missing are the guests, as MICHAEL ARRUDA sits alone.  L.L. SOARES enters the room.)

LS:  Where is everybody?

MA:  Have you ever thrown a party and nobody came?

LS:  Sure.

MA:  Figures.

Because that’s what I felt like as I watched MONSTERS (2010), a monster movie where the monsters forgot to show up!

We were supposed to review MONSTERS last weekend, but due to a VERY limited release, we weren’t able to.  Instead, we checked it out on cable OnDemand, where it’s now available for a small fee.

LS: I paid $6.99. That wasn’t that small a fee. It was just a few bucks less than the price of a movie ticket, except I had to watch it on my TV.

MA: It’s still cheaper than a movie ticket.

MONSTERS begins well, even though its premise is based on some far-fetched logic.  We learn immediately that six years ago, NASA discovered evidence that alien life existed in our solar system.  I’m pretty sure scientists have determined the odds of life existing on any of the other planets in our solar system are practically nil.  Alien life will have to come to us from much farther away.

LS: The movie also says it takes place today. Since there are no alien monsters on earth right now, that might be a giveaway that this isn’t exactly our reality.

MA: So much for believability.

Anyway, alien life has been discovered, and alien monsters have descended upon the earth.  U.S. and Mexican forces have been struggling to contain the giant monsters.  Why these creatures haven’t invaded Europe and Asia I don’t think is clearly explained.  The United States has even gone so far as to build a huge wall to secure its border.  Hmm.  Can someone say metaphor?

LS: Can someone say “no reading comprehension?” In the beginning of this movie, they explain exactly what happened. A space probe crash landed in Mexico near the U.S. border. The probe had some samples of alien life on it. When it crashed, the creatures started to breed on earth. It’s not so alien an idea, actually. That’s similar to the way some rats came over to America, stowing away aboard boats that came from Europe. These aliens MONSTERS are kind of like extraterrestrial rats. Except bigger, and with tentacles.

MA:  I think it’s time to move on to “listening comprehension.”  I said “clearly explained.”  A few brief lines in small print at the beginning of a movie hardly constitute a clear explanation.  Maybe if the movie had done a better job of keeping me awake I might have remembered those tiny words at the beginning.

LS:  And the reason why they didn’t invade Europe and Asia is because they didn’t friggin crash land in Europe and Asia, and American planes are dropping bombs on them to keep them contained in Mexico. But they’re multiplying rapidly, and they’ll probably make their way overseas eventually…

(There is a knock at the door.  LS opens door to find MACHETE holding two enormous shot guns.)

MACHETE:  Machete wants to find this big wall you mentioned!

LS:  Turn left, walk half a mile, take a right, and you can’t miss it.

MACHETE:  Thanks, amigo.

MA:  Don’t mention it.  Want to stay for some cake?

MACHETE:  Machete don’t eat cake. (Exits)

MA:  In the opening scene of the movie, one of the giant monsters attacks a military convoy.  It’s an effective scene, and it gets the movie off on the right foot.

LS: Yeah, I thought it was pretty good, too.

MA: Andrew Kaulder (Scoot McNairy), a photographer for an unnamed publication, who is in Central America to take pictures of people killed by the giant monsters, learns that he has been given the responsibility of getting his boss’s daughter Samantha “Sam” Wynden (Whitney Able) safely back to the U.S.  She’s returning home to get married, but she seems anything but excited about her fiancée.

LS: Yeah, she seems to have a major case of cold feet. She doesn’t even want to call her fiancée to tell him she’s okay, after planes bomb the hotel she was in—to kill off one of the big-ass monsters.

MA: Andrew accompanies Sam on the train ride back to the States, but when the tracks are damaged and the train is forced to turn back, Andrew decides they need to get off the train in order to continue onward.  They continue their trek on boats, trucks, with guides, soldiers, and on their own by foot.  Will they make it back to the U.S. without being eaten by the humongous alien creatures?  Does anyone care?  I have to admit, I started out caring and was into this movie at first, but as it went on and on without much of anything exciting happening, I began to lose interest until I reached the point where I truly did not care what happened to these people.

LS: I dunno, I liked Andrew and Sam. I cared what happened to them.

MA: The people in this movie talk about the monsters quite a bit, but the monsters themselves are conspicuously missing, which is a strange thing for a movie called MONSTERS!  The creatures always seem to be some place else, and our characters are careful not to travel to the place where the monsters are stomping around.  In real life, this is a great idea, but in a movie that is supposed to tell a story, it’s not a good idea to keep your main threat hidden away in the jungle somewhere.  There’s not much conflict or suspense if the alien beasts are miles away.

Can you imagine KING KONG doing the same thing?  Yeah, there’s this island with this big wall with some unknown giant creature behind the wall, but we’re not going anywhere near it.  We’ll hang out over here miles away on the safe side of the island and just talk about what the creature might look like…..I don’t think so.

(A giant Ape Face peeks in at them through the window)

KONG: Hiya guys, whatchoo doing?

LS: What does it look like, you big hairy ape? We’re reviewing a movie.

KONG: Can I help? Can I review a movie, too? Huh? Can I? Can I?

MA: Did you see MONSTERS?

KONG: No.

LS: Then how can you help review it? Take a hike, you numbskull.

(KONG narrows his eyes into a menacing glare.)

MA (to LS):  I wouldn’t insult Kong if I were you.  He’s been known to stomp and chew on people.

LS (to KONG):  No need to get all sensitive on me. Jeesh!  If you can’t handle the heat, you shouldn’t be on Cinema Knife Fight.

MA (to KONG):  Don’t feel so bad, Kong.  A movie like MONSTERS doesn’t even deserve to be in the same discussion with you.  You’re far superior.

LS (looking at MA): What a kiss-ass.

(KONG smiles, then walks away, shaking the earth with every step)

MA: By far, the lack of monsters is the biggest reason I didn’t like MONSTERS.  It’s not one of those movies where not seeing the monsters works to its advantage either, where there’s lots of suspenseful scenes and you’re only catching glimpses of the creature.  This isn’t JAWS (1975), where you don’t actually see the shark until way late in the movie but you don’t care because you’ve been scared to death already.  The monsters just aren’t around.  Period.  Little or no suspense is generated, which is too bad, because when we finally do see the creatures, they’re quite cool-looking.

LS: Are you done ranting? You can’t eat your cake and have it, too. Either there are no monsters in MONSTERS, or there are, and they’re cool-looking. Make up your mind! The truth is, you’re exaggerating when you say there are no monsters, because there obviously are.

MA:  Yes, I am exaggerating.  Monsters obviously appear in this movie, but I counted three scenes that had monsters in it.  Three scenes!  Oooh!!

LS:  We see one right at the beginning, we see glimpses of them during the film at key scenes, and then we see them a lot at the end. Maybe you were too busy covering your eyes with your hands to see them?

MA:  We see them a lot at the end?  Did we see the same movie?  There’s one scene at the end where we see the monsters, and it’s an extremely dull scene to boot!  Some climax!  And I don’t think we see enough glimpses of them throughout the movie.

This film has about as much suspense as a love story.  Even if the movie hadn’t been about monsters, it still would have been a dud.  Had the threat been a violent drug cartel or militant terrorists, the movie still wouldn’t have been exciting because the story never seems to engage its threat.  It plays more like a character study of the two main characters, Andrew and Sam.  The threats they’re running from remain well hidden in the background.

It’s not that Andrew and Sam aren’t likeable.  They are.  They’re just not interesting enough to carry an entire movie on their own.

LS: I disagree. I liked their story and was interested to see how they would finally get back home.

MA:  You must like movies on Lifetime then, too.

I liked the acting performances by the two leads.  I especially liked McNairy as Andrew.  He created a very likeable character.  Whitney Able was also very good as Samantha, though I wouldn’t say she stood out.

LS: I thought she was just as good as he was.

MA: If there’s one thing I really liked about MONSTERS, it would be its photography.  The film really takes advantage of its on-location filming in Central America.  It looks great.  I suppose director Gareth Edwards deserves credit for this.  Too bad he forgot he was making a monster movie.  Maybe it wasn’t his intention to make a monster movie.  Maybe he had higher goals in mind.  What he made was a mildly interesting love story about two people trying to get back home.  Yawn!

LS: The photography is great, as is the use of the locations. And I didn’t find it “mildly interesting” at all. I stuck with this movie from beginning to end, and enjoyed it.

MA:  That really surprises me.

LS:  The funny thing is, the trailers made it look like a cross between DISTRICT 9 and CLOVERFFIELD, but it really isn’t like either one. The aliens are not man-like at all, and aren’t restricted to a shanty-town. They don’t even have spaceships. And while they’re big and ugly, they don’t seem as aggressive and destructive as the monster in CLOVERFIELD. They’re just trying to live on this new world without getting killed.

MA:  I guess.  To be honest, I didn’t know what the hell the monsters were doing.  I don’t think the movie did a good job telling the monsters’ story at all.  It was too busy dwelling on whether the two leads would sleep together or not.

LS:  Instead of invaders with an agenda, we just have space creatures that are little more than wild animals, trying to survive in a new environment. I thought that was a refreshing idea.

MA:  Yawn!

(The CLOVERFIELD monster presses his huge face against the window)

CLOVERFIELD:  Hey guys, where’s the party? How come you didn’t invite me?

LS: I would have, but Arruda here was trying to make a point. Too bad it’s a dumb one.

MA: The truth is, Soares was so busy singing the praises of MONSTERS, he forgot to send out the invitations.

CLOVERFIELD: Gee, that stinks. I would have loved to celebrate something right now. It’s been kind of boring waiting for my sequel to come out.

LS: Well, it’s not a real party, guy. Sorry about that.

CLOVERFIELD: Darn! (He walks away, shaking the earth with each step)

LS: One thing MONSTERS does share with CLOVERFIELD is that it doesn’t give us a lot of close-up shots of the monsters themselves until the end. It’s funny how you complain about not seeing the monsters enough, and yet CLOVERFIELD showed even less of its monster, and that’s one of your all-time favorite movies.

MA:  That’s because CLOVERFIELD was thrilling throughout.  MONSTERS is a slow-moving character study with as much suspense as a laundry detergent commercial.  And while you might not have seen the CLOVERFIELD monster all that much, its presence was felt throughout the movie.

MONSTERS’ director, Gareth Edwards, also wrote the screenplay, and while he wrote some great dialogue, especially for Andrew, he failed at doing much when it came to the monsters. There’s just not much of a monster story here.

LS: So you keep saying.

MA: The lack of monsters here is made worse by the fact that the movie is called MONSTERS.  If you’re going to name your movie MONSTERS, you might want to put lots of monsters in it! Sure, there are a few scenes in which we see some monsters, but these scenes are hardly exciting or memorable.

LS: Do you ever actually listen to your reviews? First you say the monsters were cool-looking. Now you say they weren’t very memorable. First you say there are no monsters in MONSTERS, then you admit there are a few monsters in the movie. Sometimes you really sound like you’re babbling.

MA:  Let’s return to the “listening comprehension” thing.  I said the monsters are cool- looking, but the scenes they’re in aren’t that exciting.  I don’t find anything confusing about this statement.  And the whole “no monsters” thing is this:  the film is called MONSTERS, and so there’s a reasonable expectation that there will be lots of monsters in this movie.  If you pay money to see this movie, thinking you’re going to see lots of monsters, you’re going to be disappointed.  That’s my point.

MONSTERS is a flat movie that isn’t compelling at all, and as a monster movie, it’s a complete fail.  Other than some excellent photography and two likeable leads, there’s not much to see.  It should have been called NO MONSTERS.  I give it one and a half knives.

LS: And I completely disagree. I liked the acting and the characters. I liked the suspense of wondering how they’re going to get out of Mexico, especially when they enter the “infected zone,” where the monsters are on the verge of their mating season. I thought it was interesting how the American fighter planes and soldiers attacked the monsters whenever they got too close to the border – to make sure they stayed put—and yet they didn’t seem too concerned about the fact that a big chunk of Mexico was “infected” (as long as the monsters stayed where they belonged).

Sure, there are metaphors here, but I think they work. MONSTERS was a lot better than I thought it would be, especially after missing a chance to see it on the big screen. This movie worked for me. I give it three knives.

MA:  I’m really surprised you liked this one.

(The entire building begins to shake and crumble)

MA: What’s going on out there?

LS (looks out the window): It looks like Kong and Cloverfield are dancing!

MA: We better get out of here before this skyscraper collapses.

LS: Damn monsters……

-END-

© Copyright 2010 by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares

Michael Arruda gave MONSTERS – One and a half knives!

L.L. Soares gave MONSTERS - Three knives!

3 Comments »

In The Spooklight: REPTILICUS!

Posted in 2010, Campy Movies, Dinosaurs, Giant Monsters, In the Spooklight, Michael Arruda Reviews with tags , , , on November 5, 2010 by knifefighter

Just saw MONSTERS this week, and we’ve got SKYLINE coming up soon, so I’ve got giant monsters on the mind.  This column first appeared in the HWA NEWSLETTER in November 2008, on the silly Danish film REPTILICUS from 1962.

—Michael Arruda, 11/4/10


IN THE SPOOKLIGHT: REPTILICUS (1962)
By Michael Arruda

It’s so bad it’s good.

There aren’t a lot of genres where this statement is true.  Horror films are one of them.

Sometimes the brain can recognize everything wrong with a movie, but the heart is somehow won over.

REPTILICUS (1962), that rarity of rarities, a giant monster movie not from Japan but from— Denmark?— for example, is a god-awful movie, weak every which way you slice it, but somehow, when all is said and done, and you’ve finished watching it, the flick is, dare I say it, charming?

Let’s examine this strange phenomenon.

For starters, REPTILICUS sports your standard giant monster movie plot.  The frozen tail of a giant prehistoric beast is unearthed and then accidentally thawed out by scientists.  The biological term regeneration is pressed to its limits as the entire creature regenerates from just its tail.  It then escapes from the laboratory and goes on a rampage, terrorizing Denmark.

The special effects are ridiculously poor.  The “fire” spit out by the giant reptile is obviously scratched into the film a la someone’s backyard film project.  And the monster itself is about as real looking as something you’d find in the discount toy aisle at Wal Mart.

Yet, somehow, this all works to the movie’s advantage.  The look of the title creature, Reptilicus, is unique.  Hey, I have to give credit where credit is due.  You just don’t see too many movie monsters looking like Reptilicus, and I suppose the look of the creature is part of the movie’s charm.

Reptilicus looks less like a dinosaur and more like a dragon—albeit a dragon with just a long neck and no body.  Where is the creature’s body?  It’s hardly ever seen, as most shots simply show the neck and head moving from behind buildings.  The monster is obviously a puppet, and looks like something created by the late Jim Henson’s evil twin.

And when we do see the body, it rolls along the ground like a giant wind-up toy.

And then there’s that wild sound that Reptilicus makes, like a car in serious need of transmission fluid.  The creature also sports wings, and rumor has it that in some prints it even flies!

The dialogue and the acting are so bad you’ll be laughing out loud.

In all seriousness, the movie does include a terrific stunt, as panicked bicyclists plunge from a drawbridge into the sea while fleeing from the rampaging puppet monster.  Supposedly, real bicyclists were paid to ride off the bridge into the water.

The movie also has a great over-the-top dramatic music score.

So, why is a movie like this worth the time of any serious horror writer?  The obvious reason is that it never hurts to see what NOT to do.  But I think a better reason is sometimes, you just have to let loose and have fun and watch something so bad it’s good.

What’s interesting here, is that REPTILICUS is a movie that obviously doesn’t work the way it was intended.  Director Sidney Pink didn’t set out to make a bad movie.  Still, REPTILICUS is a bad movie—a bad movie that works, just not in the way it was intended to work.  It works because in spite of it blatant flaws, it’s entertaining.

REPTILICUS is not a movie you’d want to study, but as a student of the horror genre, it is one you’d want to see, at least once.  This way you’ll understand why GODZILLA and KING KONG are part of our popular culture, while REPTILICUS is just a maniacal dragon puppet with wings.

—END—

© Copyright 2008 by Michael Arruda

2 Comments »

Monstrous Question of the Month Response #2—OCTOBER 2010

Posted in 2010, Classic Films, Giant Monsters, Monstrous Question of the Month with tags , , , , , on October 22, 2010 by knifefighter

THE MONSTROUS QUESTION OF THE MONTH – OCTOBER 2010
(Questions Provided by Michael Arruda)

THIS MONTH’S QUESTION:

You know how movie stations load up on horror movies on Halloween night?  If you were in charge of one of these channels, and if it was up to you to choose a triple feature of horror films showing on Halloween night, which three movies would you choose and why?

RESPONSE # 2 —MICHAEL ARRUDA:

There are so many movie marathons to choose from, for me to pick one in particular would really come down to my frame of mind on that day.  So, today I’m thinking big.  That’s right, big bad-ass monsters destroying everything in their sight, which means today my triple feature would be:

I’d lead off with the ultimate giant monster movie of all time, KING KONG (1933). It still amazes me how well this movie holds up today.  The scenes on Skull Island are as intense today as they were in 1933.  Incidentally, Skull Island is not named in the movie.  That’s right. No one in the film refers to the island as “Skull Island,” even though that’s how fans of the movie have come to know Kong’s home.

You’ve got a great cast with Fay Wray, Robert Armstrong, Bruce Cabot, Frank Reicher, and of course King Kong himself, who really comes off as a living, breathing creature, even though in reality he was an 18-inch animated model.  There’s a brilliant music score by Max Steiner, and direction that was ahead of its time by Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack.

The special effects remain remarkable.  Willis O’Brien and his crew were amazing.  If you ever get a chance to read accounts of how the special effects for KING KONG were done, do it.  You’ll be in for a treat.  It’s an amazing story.  My favorite anecdote is how the effect of Kong’s fur actually moving, such a minute detail, was all a mistake.  When the special effects team watched the early rushes of their work, they were horrified to see impressions from their hands appearing on Kong’s fur, a result of their using their hands to move the Kong model in the stop-motion technique.  They thought they were ruined, until someone came in, saw the film and said, “Hey, neat!  Kong’s fur moves!”  They realized then they were saved.

After KING KONG, I would move on to GODZILLA, KING OF THE MONSTERS! (1954). Japan’s first Godzilla movie is actually quite scary.  Godzilla’s rampage through Tokyo still gives me the chills.  The original Japanese version is superior to the American release with scenes of Raymond Burr inserted into the action, but even that version is excellent.

I would conclude with the best giant monster movie of the 21st century so far, CLOVERFIELD (2008). While this movie was far more effective on the big screen than at home on DVD, mostly because its frantic hand-held camerawork was easier to follow on the big screen, it’s still an exciting thrill ride.  Very few modern horror movies are about giant monsters.  Fewer still are actually scary.  CLOVERFIELD is very scary.  I can’t wait for the sequel.

That’s my triple feature.

Happy Halloween!

~Michael Arruda, October 2010

3 Comments »

In the Spooklight: GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO

Posted in 2009, Aliens, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, In the Spooklight with tags , , , , , , on August 13, 2010 by knifefighter

Since my fellow CINEMA KNIFE FIGHTER L.L. Soares and I will be reviewing SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD this weekend, my mind has wandered to movie battles I’d rather be seeing. I’ve chosen this column from 2009 for that reason, so here’s my “In the Spooklight” column on GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO (1966), featuring everyone’s favorite kick-ass giant monster, Godzilla, kicking more giant monster butt.  Enjoy the destruction!

—Michael Arruda, 8/13/2010

IN THE SPOOKLIGHT: GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO
by Michael Arruda

He’s the biggest, baddest monster on the planet.  Yet, just how seriously can we take Godzilla?  And how seriously can we take a film with the title:  GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO (1966)?

These days, we can take Godzilla very seriously.  For the last 20 years, the Godzilla movies have become increasingly more adult.  But, alas, this wasn’t always the case.

In the 1960s and 70s, Godzilla was reduced to a friendly super monster, battling “bad” monsters and saving the human race from all sorts of evils time and time again.  Many of these movies were downright silly, including today’s “In the Spooklight” feature, GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO (also known as MONSTER ZERO).

Can such a movie be anything more than fun for the kiddies on a rainy Saturday?

Let’s find out.

In GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO, beings from another planet seek Earth’s assistance in defeating the evil monster King Ghidrah.  The aliens request that we give them the monsters Godzilla and Rodan to help them destroy Ghidrah.

But these aliens wear funny dark goggles and never smile, sure signs that they shouldn’t be trusted, and they soon turn all three monsters against humankind.  Not to worry, the resourceful humans find a way to break the aliens’ hold on Godzilla and Rodan, setting the stage for a climactic battle between these monsters and Ghidrah.

GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO is one of the few Godzilla movies in the series to include an American actor, Nick Adams, whose scenes weren’t inserted later, a la Raymond Burr in the American release of the original GODZILLA, KING OF THE MONSTERS! (1954).  Nick Adams was actually in Japan and actually appeared in the Japanese version as well.  Adams also starred in the Japanese Frankenstein film, FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD (1965).  Adams is quite entertaining here as the token American tough guy.  Tragically, Adams died of an accidental prescription drug overdose in 1968 at the age of 36.  He was a fine actor who appeared in several genre films, including the Boris Karloff movie DIE MONSTER DIE! (1965).

The special effects in GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO are OK.  There’s been better in the series, and there’s been worse.

It’s also directed by the man who directed the original GODZILLA movie, Ishiro Honda.

But what about Godzilla?  How does the “big guy” fare in this flick?  Well, for starters, he could have used more screen time.  More Godzilla and fewer aliens would have been a good idea.  His fight scenes are entertaining enough, as he gets to share the “good guy” role here with flying buddy Rodan.

Still, there’s no getting around the fact that GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO is one silly movie.  So, why in the world would you watch this movie?  Why would I watch it?  Why did I watch it?  And heck— why am I writing about it?

Because Godzilla is a gigantic part of horror movie lore.  If you’re into horror movies, you just can’t ignore Godzilla, or at least you shouldn’t.

Plus, there’s no denying that there’s something fun about watching Godzilla kick some bad monster’s butt.  And hey, you’ve got to dig those mini toy tanks that teeter along those miniature roads in those miniature cities!

So, how seriously can we take Godzilla?  Well, in GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO, about as seriously as we take Scooby Doo and Shaggy throwing cheeseburgers with the works at some masked phantom.

But that’s okay.  Sometimes you have to kick back and be a kid again.

So grab yourself an ice cream soda and some candy and indulge in the battle for giant monster supremacy in GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO.

—END—

© Copyright 2009 by Michael Arruda


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In the Spooklight: THEM!

Posted in Classic Films, Giant Monsters, In the Spooklight, Michael Arruda Reviews with tags , , , , , , on May 14, 2010 by knifefighter

Welcome to another edition of my HWA column “In the Spooklight.”  This one’s on the classic 1954 giant ant movie, THEM! starring James Whitmore and Edmund Gwenn.  I originally wrote this one for the HWA NEWSLETTER in June 2005.  We ran it again in 2009, dedicated to the memory of James Whitmore, who passed away on February 6, 2009. Enjoy!  —Michael Arruda

IN THE SPOOKLIGHT: THEM!
by Michael Arruda

This! That! These! Those!

Them! (cue ominous music).

THEM! (1954) is the quintessential giant bug movie.  It’s the best of its lot from the 1950s, and ranks in the upper echelon of best horror movies ever made.

What makes THEM! stand out?  The biggest reason is it’s scary, it gets underneath your skin.  Now, while there are a good number of movies that also scare, that remain with you and give you the shivers long after you’ve seen them, films like THE EXORCIST (1973) and ALIEN (1979), there are precious few from our black and white past that can make the same claim.  THEM! is one of these (or is it, one of them?).

From the shrill sound the ants make, which once you’ve heard you never forget, to the host of creepy scenes throughout- the off camera killing of the police officer, the little girl sitting up in the ambulance when she hears the ants in the distance, and the taut scenes in the sewers of Los Angeles during the film’s suspenseful finale.   There is something very gritty about THEM! You expect either to see Robert DeNiro in front of the camera or John Frankenheimer behind it.

THEM! begins in the desert of New Mexico where a series of mysterious murders take place.  Police officer Ben Peterson (James Whitmore), FBI agent Robert Graham (James Arness), and father and daughter scientists Drs. Medford (Edmund Gwenn and Joan Weldon) investigate.  Edmund Gwenn (Santa Claus in the original MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET [1947]) is wonderfully entertaining and humorous as Dr. Medford, and his attempts at radio etiquette and subsequent banter with James Whitmore will leave you chuckling.  James Whitmore delivers a solid realistic performance as Ben Peterson, a police officer driven by his partner’s death to stop the ants.

Director Gordon Douglas sets up some terrific scenes, nail biting time.  The trip through the ant nest in the desert is one of these, as is the ending in the L.A. sewers.

The screenplay by Ted Sherdeman, based on a story by George Worthing Yates, is filled with realistic dialogue that isn’t dated, and also includes a good amount of humor.

THEM! also stands out because—-WARNING!  SPOILER ALERT!-– it’s that rarity of rarities, especially among 1950s horror/science fiction films, in that the hero dies.  You don’t see it coming, and you don’t forget it.

THEM! was originally slated to be shot in color and in 3-D, but because of budget restraints, was shot in black and white, which really is a blessing in disguise. The black and white photography plays right into the mood of the movie.

Now, the special effects obviously can’t compare to today’s standards, but you know what?  Somehow, the giant mechanical ants look genuine, certainly they’re scary!  A lot of the credit here goes to director Douglas who often relies on the unseen for scares, and you don’t see a whole lot of the ants until the end.  It’s the same card Steven Spielberg played so effectively in JAWS (1975).

If you’ve seen THEM! I’m sure you have a favorite moment, from the singing drunk, “Make me a sergeant charge the booze!” to the James Whitmore remark “He’s got a sweet tooth!” when asked why FBI agent James Arness is so interested in a large sugar theft.

THEM! is one of the all time greats, a true exercise in horror film making, as entertaining as it is scary.  See it this summer, and remember, when the bugs start to come out and spoil your picnic, it could be a lot worse!

—-END—

© Copyright 2005 by Michael Arruda

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