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FAREWELL TO RAY HARRYHAUSEN

Posted in 1950s Sci-Fi Films, 2013, 60s Movies, Giant Monsters, LL Soares Reviews, Michael Arruda Reviews, Mythology, Obituaries and Appreciations, Special Effects with tags argonauts, Harryhausen, sinbad, special effects, stop-motion, ymir on May 14, 2013 by knifefighter

(The following tribute to Ray Harryhausen is appearing both on my blog and here at CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT.—Michael Arruda)

A Tribute to RAY HARRYHAUSEN
By Michael Arruda

Special effects master Ray Harryhausen with some of his creations.

Ray Harryhausen, the greatest stop-motion animator in the history of motion pictures, passed away on Tuesday, May 7, 2013. He was 92.

I had the pleasure of meeting Harryhausen at a convention in the late 1990s, and the thing I remember most about the experience—besides the fact that he was a classy guy and that he brought many of his miniature creature models with him—was Harryhausen’s love for telling stories. It wasn’t just about the special effects with Harryhausen. It was about the story. It was important for him that his creatures lived in a world that seemed real yet magical at the same time. On the movies that Harryhausen worked, much time was spent hammering out background stories, imaginative settings, and exciting conflicts.

Harryhausen’s genius wasn’t only that he was a master of stop-motion animation effects, but that the creatures he created using these effects lived and breathed in stories that were as memorable as the creatures themselves. Of course, it helped that he was a master animator. His movie creations are like no others. He gave them sculpted bodies, facial expressions and incredible movement, bringing them to life long before CGI technology.

To watch a movie with special effects by Ray Harryhausen is to enter another world.

From MIGHTY JOE YOUNG (1949), the first major movie he worked on, under the direction of his teacher and mentor, King Kong creator Willis O’Brien, to CLASH OF THE TITANS (1981), Ray Harryhausen’s movie magic has no equal. O’Brien may have created the most memorable stop-motion effects ever in KING KONG (1933), but by sheer volume alone, Harryhausen is king. He dominated the special effects scene from the 1950s through the 1970s, and during these decades, no one else came close to achieving the consistency and quality of stop-motion animation effects. Simply put, he was the best at it.

Harryhausen working on the model for MIGHT JOE YOUNG (1949)

And the argument can be made that in a couple of his films his animation rivals O’Brien’s work in KING KONG, in films like THE 7^TH VOYAGE OF SINBAD (1958) (arguably his best), and JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS (1962). The sword fight between Jason and his men and the army of skeletons in JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS is one of the most exciting and ambitious stop-motion effects sequences ever put on film.

Here’s a partial look at Harryhausen’s movies:

—MIGHTY JOE YOUNG (1949)—Other than Kong, Joe is the most remarkable giant ape in the movies. The fiery climax, in which Joe rescues children from burning building, is must-see cinema!

—THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS (1953) —rivals GODZILLA, KING OF THE MONSTERS! (1956) as one of the scariest prehistoric-beasts-on-the-loose movies ever. Memorable conclusion involving Coney Island roller coaster. That’s Lee Van Cleef as the marksman at the end taking aim at the monster.

—IT CAME FROM BENEATH THE SEA (1955)

—EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS (1956) —Ray Harryhausen destroys Washington D.C.! See his alien spaceships attack the nation’s capital!

—20 MILLION MILES TO EARTH (1957) —Attack of the Ymir! Yep, that extraordinary monster from Venus is one of my favorite Ray Harryhausen creations. The Ymir was unnamed in the movie, and only picked up the name “Ymir” later from fans.

—THE 7^TH VOYAGE OF SINBAD (1958) —My pick for the best Ray Harryhausen movie of all time. It contains his finest special effects, one of his most memorable creations, the Cyclops, it’s briskly directed by Nathan Juran, has a phenomenal villainous performance by Torin Thatcher as Sokurah, the magician, and a rousing music score by Bernard Herrmann.

The Cyclops from THE 7TH VOYAGE OF SINBAD (1958)

—MYSTERIOUS ISLAND (1961) —That animated crab is the real thing! Harryhausen used a real crab in the giant crab sequence, animating it like one of his models.

-JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS (1963) —My second favorite Ray Harryhausen movie. The sword fight with the skeletons is spectacular!

-FIRST MEN IN THE MOON (1964) —I’ve always loved this story by HG Wells, and Harryhausen’s effects here don’t disappoint.

—ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. (1966) —Harryhausen joins the Hammer Films family and animates dinosaurs that chase scantily clad Raquel Welch in this Hammer prehistoric adventure.

—THE VALLEY OF GWANGI (1969) —in the subgenre of horror westerns, this film ranks among the best.

—THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD (1974) —Harryhausen’s follow-up to THE 7^TH VOYAGE OF SINBAD is nearly as good and contains some of Harryhausen’s best special effects, including a great sword fight between Sinbad and the goddess Kali.

Sinbad vs Kali. One of the best scenes in 1974′s THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD.

—SINBAD AND THE EYE OF THE TIGER (1977) —Released the same year as STAR WARS (1977) it was criticized for having outdated special effects. Suddenly, Ray Harryhausen’s stop-motion animation was passé.

—CLASH OF THE TITANS (1981) —Harryhausen’s last feature, one of my least favorites, yet still features some fine moments, including a very creepy Medusa sequence.

In my family, we all know who Ray Harryhausen is, but it pains me that Ray Harryhausen is not a household name. He should be.

For me, there are few moviemakers who have been as influential as Ray Harryhausen. The movies he’s worked on have been some of the most imaginative innovative creative films I have ever seen. They are the real deal. Movies that captivate fascinate and entertain.

To watch a Ray Harryhausen movie is to arouse your imagination.

Ray Harryhausen, the master of stop-motion animation, maker of movie monsters and fantasy worlds, of movies that will live in imaginations for years to come, thank you for sharing your genius with the world.

You will be missed.

*****

RAY HARRYHAUSEN: SOME AFTERTHOUGHTS
By L.L. Soares

Harryhausen was one of the best. CGI may have made his style of effects seem outdated and quaint, but it wouldn’t exist without his pioneering stop-motion process. Back when it took incredible amounts of time and effort to create even a few minutes of film, Harryhausen had incredible reserves of patience and talent.

The cool thing about Ray Harryhausen was not that he just did effects, but that most of the movies he worked on REVOLVED AROUND his effects. How often did that happen, where the special effects guy was the dominant figure in movies? And not just flimsy plots to keep the action going, but decent storylines, that made his creations shine.

Michael has touched upon some of the highlights. I’d like to give my personal take on these as well.

—THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS (1953) —I remember seeing this one as a kid and being blown away by it. Harryhausen’s dinosaur on the loose was remarkable and effective, especially to a child’s eyes. And this one featured a rare collaboration between the two Rays – Harryhausen and Bradbury – as the movie was based on Bradbury’s story, “The Foghorn.”

—IT CAME FROM BENEATH THE SEA (1955) —This was one of my favorites, involving a gigantic octopus that rose from the ocean depths to cause havoc on the surface world of humans. The way the octopus moved was uncanny, and convincing. A really underrated entry in the 1950s “giant animals” genre.

The giant octopus from IT CAME FROM BENEATH THE SEA (1955)

—EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS (1956) —Sure, it might look a little dated now, but it also is immediately recognizable as the work of Harryhausen. I still think that ten minutes of this movie is more visually interesting than all of the similarly themed INDEPENDENCE DAY(1996)

—20 MILLION MILES TO EARTH (1957) – My favorite Harryhausen film. I loved the story that this movie told, as well as the monster at its heart. The Ymir was a vaguely humanoid, prehistoric-looking creature from the planet Venus. In this one, Harryhausen made us care about the monster, and believe in him. The scene where the confused Ymir fights an escape elephant remains a classic.

The “Ymir,” one of Harryhausen’s best creatures, from 20 MILLION MILES TO EARTH (1957)

—THE 7^TH VOYAGE OF SINBAD (1958) —I remember seeing stills from this one in issues of FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND magazine, and hoped I’d finally get to see it for real. Back when I was a kid, a lot of these movies showed up on television, but you never knew where or when. It wasn’t like video and Netflix where you just call it up and watch it. It was a crapshoot. I remember watching this movie on a Saturday afternoon on a tiny black and white television, with fuzzy reception, and being astounded by it. The amazing Cyclops became one of my favorite fantasy movie creatures, as well as the two-headed giant bird, the Roc.

—JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS (1963) —Like Michael, this is my second favorite Ray Harryhausen movie, too. It didn’t have the heart of a creature like the Ymir, but it featured some of Ray’s most iconic effects. The sword fight with the skeletons might just be Harryhausen’s most memorable scene ever. I bet this one influenced a whole generation who would grow up to give us the computer effects that replaced it. But this movie had to come first.

The unforgettable battle with the skeletons from JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS (1963)

—ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. (1966) —Sure it makes no sense historically; dinosaurs and cavemen never existed at the same time—but this one is a classic, and was a pretty big hit at the time. The cool-looking dinosaurs almost diverted my attention away from the curves of star Raquel Welch. Almost.

—THE VALLEY OF GWANGI (1969) – Long before COWBOYS AND ALIENS (2011), there was this classic “Cowboys and Dinosaurs” film. Cowboys lassoing a Tyrannosaurus Rex never looked so good.

—THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD (1974) —I think I liked the story of this one even more than THE 7^TH VOYAGE OF SINBAD. Not only did it feature such amazing creatures as the flying homunculus and the living ship’s figurehead, as well as the amazing Centaur and the Griffin (their fight is legendary), but it also starred such genre legends as the beautiful Caroline Munro and, arguably the best Dr. Who ever, Tom Baker, as the villain. The sword fight between multi-armed Kali and Sinbad is my favorite scene though, and is almost as iconic as the skeleton sword fight in JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS.

—SINBAD AND THE EYE OF THE TIGER (1977) —Starring John Wayne’s son Patrick as Sinbad and another former Dr. Who, Patrick Troughton. It also features such Harryhausen creatures as the Troglodyte (a giant, fur-covered caveman with a horn on his head), a sabre-toothed tiger and a giant walrus. The Troglodyte model Harryhausen used for this one was used again (with slight changes) as Calibos in Harryhausen’s last feature, CLASH OF THE TITANS (1981).

Harryhausen was one of a kind. And as Michael said, he will definitely be missed by fans of science fiction and fantasy cinema.

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Bills’ Bizarre Bijou visits the COMMON LAW WIFE (1963)

Posted in "So Bad They're Good" Movies, 2013, 60s Movies, B-Movies, Bill's Bizarre Bijou, Campy Movies, Drive-in Movies, Exploitation Films, Hillbillies, Just Plain Fun, Revenge!, Romance, Swamp Movies, William Carl Articles with tags Anabelle Weenik, Common Law Wife, drive-in movies, Eric Sayers, exploitation films, Larry Buchanan, Libby Hall, Max W. Anderson on April 25, 2013 by knifefighter

Bill’s Bizarre Bijou

by William D. Carl

This week’s feature presentation:

COMMON LAW WIFE (1963)

Welcome to Bill’s Bizarre Bijou, where you’ll discover the strangest films ever made. If there are alien women with too much eye-shadow and miniskirts, if papier-mâché monsters are involved, if your local drive-in insisted this be the last show in their dusk till dawn extravaganza, or if it’s just plain unclassifiable – then I’ve seen it and probably loved it. Now, I’m here to share these little gems with you, so you too can stare in disbelief at your television with your mouth dangling open. Trust me, with these flicks, you won’t believe your eyes.

In the wild, wild world of exploitation films, bits and pieces of one movie can often make a ‘guest appearance’ in another film, spliced into the new film as padding for the running time, or as a way to save on the budget. Most of the time, this created annoying sequences that have nothing to do with the movie you’re viewing at your local drive-in, distractions to the main plot. Other times, the footage was inserted so well a casual viewer never noticed he’d been duped. A lot of film buffs, such as me and you, my fans in the dark, take great pleasure in noticing such scenes and shouting out, “Hey, that was stolen from INVASION OF THE STAR CREATURES!” It’s a fine, old exploitation tradition, and we at the Bijou salute the filmmakers who managed to pull it off.

In 1960, Larry Buchanan, the infamous director of such sublimely awful fare as THE NAKED WITCH (1961), ZONTAR, THING FROM VENUS (1966), MARS NEEDS WOMEN (1967), and THE LOCH NESS HORROR (1981) started shooting a hicksloitation epic called SWAMP ROSE. Starring Lacey Kelley (NUDE ON THE MOON – 1961, THE DEAD ONE – 1961), the unfinished film dealt with a moonshiner obsessed with a woman of easy virtue. This footage was purchased by M.A. Ripps, who wanted to make it into a hit drive-in feature, as he so famously transformed the movie BAYOU into POOR WHITE TRASH (1957). New director Eric Sayers used many Buchanan regulars: (Anabelle Weenik (going by Anne MacAdams) of CREATURE OF DESTRUCTION (1967), A BULLET FOR PRETTY BOY (1970), DON’T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT (1973); Max W. Anderson of HIGH YELLOW (1965), IN THE YEAR 2889 – (1967); and THE NAKED WITCH herself Libby Hall (as Libby Booth)). Sayers shot a whole new storyline with these actors, including an unbilled woman to take Lacey Kelley’s role (and they don’t look much alike) using only bits and pieces of Larry Buchanan’s SWAMP ROSE. There is a scene with Lacey Kelley walking down the street, her boom-boppa-boom stride mocked by a little girl, some scenes in a park, and a chase between a crazed hillbilly moonshiner attacking Lacey that make up most of the old footage. Everything else is newly shot with actors from other movies. Confused yet? You won’t be once you watch COMMON LAW WIFE (1963), Sayers’ adults-only white-trash melodrama set in Texas. It’s easily one of the greatest exploitation films from the period. Other than a few film stock mis-matches and a character that switches actresses several times, you’d never know this was once two films edited into one trashy grindhouse gem.

But what about the story of COMMON LAW WIFE?

The film opens on a typical night at the Raineys’ rather tacky abode. Old man Shug is playing darts in his bathrobe before drinking the biggest damn glass of wine in existence. When his live-in mistress, Linda, tells him he’s not supposed to drink, he throws five darts at her head, embedding them into the wicker chair behind her. He asks, “Do you want me to put one right between your eyes?” Turns out, she’s lived with him for five years, and it’s taken a toll on her beauty. He wants her to get out so his niece Jonelle (“Call me Baby Doll”) can come live with him. “What’s she got?’ she shrieks. Shug answers, “My attention right now, which you haven’t.” Linda, shocked says, “Why she’s your own blood niece! That’s incest!” He replies, “Words don’t mean much to me. I’ve already sent for Baby Doll. Go pack your things.”

In New Orleans, we are introduced to Jonelle, a gorgeous stripper in a nightclub who resembles Traci Lords. She packs her dresses and heads for rural Texas to stay with her uncle (Eww). Turns out, Jonelle’s sister, Brenda, is married to the Sheriff, Jodi, who was having flings with both sisters during high school. Jodi’s more than a little interested in rekindling his torrid affair with Jonelle, while good wife Brenda stays at home.

Shug and Jonelle, what a cute couple! (Ewwww)

Meanwhile, Linda consults a lawyer and discovers she’s lived long enough with Mr. Shug Rainey to be his common-law wife. Mrs. Rainey buys herself a wedding ring and informs Shug that she is his legal wife, and if he wants his niece serving him in his house (Eww), he has to divorce her and pay alimony or give her the house. Secretly, though I have no idea why, she loves the old dude.

Jonelle kick-starts her affair with Jodi (what a nice sisterly thing to do), but she throws a hissy fit after he says he doesn’t want to help her murder Shug for the old man’s money. In spite, she gets up and starts stripping and dancing in front of what looks like several farmers and their wives who are either shocked or bemused. She leaves with another old beau, Bull, who takes her out to the swamp to see his moonshine still. Ah, romance in Texas! When he gets fresh, she runs away through the swamp. This whole part is Larry Buchanan’s, and it’s a bit rougher and grittier than the newer footage.

She runs all the way back to her sister’s house (the actress changes here), but Brenda has figured out what’s happening between her husband and Jonelle. She tosses her sister out of her house, but not before Jonelle steals the booze. With nowhere to go, Jonelle hunts down Bull and they return to the swamp (wait, wait, didn’t he try to rape her the previous night? Ah, romance in Texas!)

The original Jonelle.

Jodi goes after her (the heel!) and tracks her to Bull’s house, where a gunfight erupts over Jonelle. He abducts her to his home, where the cold facts about their past relationship come to light. Brenda catches them together and holds them at gunpoint!

Will Jonelle get one over on Linda? Who will get old man Shug Rainey’s money when he dies? What about the cyanide-laced bottle of whiskey? Will we ever get to see a full print of SWAMP ROSE? Probably not, but this common-law version is a real hoot!

COMMON LAW WIFE is filled with great, hateful dialogue delivered in authentic, delightful accents. It was Grace Nolan’s only writing credit, and I wish there’d been a lot more. Some choice cuts of the nasty, mean-spirited dialog include:

“I was a stray cat lookin’ for a home, and I took it however I could.”

“Folks around here might think the circus has come to town.” “They might be right!”

“From now on, this is my house. And I don’t want any tramps hangin’ around it!”

“The only way I’ll see any of that old man’s body is over his stinkin’ dead body.”

“You couldn’t hit a bull with a bass fiddle. Let alone that cap gun.”

“I met a couple of strangers in town today, and they claimed they didn’t know you. You want their names so you can bat a thousand?”

“You’ve put on weight. City food must be good.”

“A girl can learn a lot of lessons in the dark.”

Vengeance, thy name is Linda!

The black and white photography is crisp and full of noir shadows. The music is great jazz, heavy on the sax and trumpet, but the composer is unbilled. Who knows where that great score came from? The acting is campy and over-the-top, as it should be in a swamp melodrama like this one. And the ending is brutal and shocking in a way few films of that era ever were. COMMON LAW WIFE may be confusing sometimes, what with actresses switching and film stock not matching, but it’s loads of fun. It’s like Douglas Sirk on tainted moonshine.

I give COMMON LAW WIFE three and a half revolving actresses out of four.

CRITERION AFTER DARK: THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY (1961)

Posted in Art Movies, Classic Films, Foreign Films, Madness, Family Secrets, Garrett Cook Articles, Criterion After Dark, 60s Movies, Enigmatic Films, Lovecraftian Horror, 2013 with tags Madness, Criterion Collection, Lovecraft, Through a Glass Darkly, Ingmar Bergman, Robert W. Chambers, King in Yellow, Elder Gods, Incest, Harriet Andersson on April 24, 2013 by knifefighter

CRITERION AFTER DARK
THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY: ELDER GODS WHERE YOU LEAST EXPECT THEM
By Garrett Cook

It’s been forever since I’ve written one of these columns. People and cities and ideas and lives change and mine did in several big ways in the last year. I missed writing for Cinema Knife Fight, and now I’m gonna do it again. I thought maybe I would start by finding a weird, shocking, filthy, perverse Criterion film. Something that would blow your mind and take you to the very edge of perception. And I did. Did I ever.

Cronenberg? Bunuel? Malle? Nope. Asian horror? Nope. Some kind of Swedish erotic art film? A little warmer. Imagine if Tennessee Williams and H.P. Lovecraft collaborated on a family drama set on an isolated island, a place tinged with madness, with the stench of malevolent cosmology hanging in the air. And there’s sin and sexual dysfunction and a sinister play with a dark truth at its core. So let’s add a little Robert “The King in Yellow” Chambers to the mix. Moody black and white cosmic horror. Yeah, that’s the stuff. So, who pray tell is the twisted mind behind this?

The man whose work inspired Wes Craven’s THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972) and who had a knight in plague-stricken medieval Europe confront the grim reaper himself. A true master of the horror genre. Who knows terror like…Ingmar Bergman? That can’t be right. But it is. Bergman is the genius behind THE VIRGIN SPRING (1960), which was later remade (reimagined?) as THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, and pitted a knight in a chess game against death in THE SEVENTH SEAL (1957). His film THE MAGICIAN (1958) had all of the elements of one of Val Lewton’s classics of psychological horror: from a man terrorized by doubts in his psyche to a murder that may or may not have been in the province of the supernatural. THE MAGICIAN is, as well as being a period piece and an excellent story about the power of art, a masterpiece of quiet horror.

And so is THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY (1961).

THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY is one of those movies that defines in people’s mind what an art film is, or what a drama is. It looks on the surface to just be a story about a disintegrating family. The setup is not particularly horrific: a novelist takes his son, his daughter and her husband on vacation. His daughter is schizophrenic. She finds out his novel is about her and gets upset. Why is this of interest to a column on horror culture and filth in the Criterion Collection?

Because as I said, there are traces of cosmic horror and weird fiction here that are hard to ignore, but enjoyable to savor, as they seem to be in the wrong place. Near the beginning of the film, the son puts on a play starring the daughter, involving a knight’s strange relationship with a ghost. It’s cool that it calls back to the questing knight facing death in THE SEVENTH SEAL, but fans of vintage weird fiction might see another connection, another great “Death and the Maiden” play, embedded in a narrative: Robert W. Chambers’ The King in Yellow centers around an ominous play where the heroine’s sad song freezes the heart of the viewer. This play hints at love and death interweaving on a cosmic level, and at there being something deeply wrong in this family and on this island. The King in Yellow terrorizes you with evil in the walls of a metanarrative, and THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY does the same. Something is wrong with this play. Something is wrong with reality. Something is loose in the theater.

Karin comes to a realization in Bergman's THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY.

Karin (Harriet Andersson) comes to a realization in Ingmar Bergman’s THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY.

Although her father feels Karin is incurable, Karin’s husband is trying to remain optimistic. He does not believe her condition will have to eat away her life. And it doesn’t seem to, until Karin finds her father’s manuscript. In her father’s manuscript, the heroine is an incurable schizophrenic, in her father’s manuscript, Karin his hopeless. When Karin reads this, she is naturally upset, but it seems to go beyond that and once again into the realm of weird fiction and magic. The fictional Karin is sick, so the real Karin becomes sick. The fictional Karin is too crazy to heal, so the real one must be as well. It works like a voodoo doll and warps the world like the sinister play in Chambers’ story. It has even, in some ways, turned into a grimoire like the Necronomicon from Lovecraft’s books.

Karin begins describing her hallucinations about people behind the walls watching her, judging her. She seems to have a strange sixth sense that she’s not just the protagonist of a novel, but that of a movie as well. She seems to see the framework and that there’s no difference between life and art and reality and fantasy. She faces the realization of the protagonist of Lovecraft’s story Pickman’s Model, who discovers that the hideous paintings of his friend Pickman were modeled after a photograph from life. So the movie returns to the Pickman’s Model/King in Yellow delusion, the stuff that Lucio Fulci’s A CAT IN THE BRAIN (1990) and John Carpenter’s IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS (1994) deal with, along with Stephen King’s THE DARK HALF (made into a film by George Romero in 1993). The reality-warping power of madness shines in Karin’s dialogue, because Bergman has isolated the movie from the rest of reality. On this little island, all we have are people’s opinions on Karin’s madness, and Karin’s madness itself. Like Shakespeare’s power to conjure images, Karin’s makes things happen in your head, turning words into imagery, and therefore turning her words into reality.

Karin succumbs not just to insanity, but to her worst urges, performing an act of incest. Her behavior has gone from simply crazy to truly aberrant, committing on of the worst sins imaginable. This is a pretty sordid world Bergman has created, one without hope or moral high ground or a chance to gain rectitude, a world ruled over by a force that is less than benevolent. Without a single tentacle, we have the feelings Lovecraft sought to convey of smallness, depravity, insanity and isolation. And the feeling that Karin’s visions are right. There are people outside the screen watching and judging her and waiting for her to fall apart on both sides of these realities. And she is under the power of a man behind a camera who is frankly not going to be very nice to her.

As Karin finally cracks, she does so in fine Lovecraftian form, terrified by confronting the image of God. Creatures like Nyarlathotep and Cthulhu appear before the eyes of Lovecraft’s heroes to shatter their minds or prove that the minds of the hero have been shattered.

“God is a spider,” Karin says.

And while Bergman does not show the spider, we have now gotten the idea in our imagination that Karin has seen some dark god. Does it matter that she is crazy? Has this god driven her crazy? We can’t say definitively that Lovecraft’s protagonists have seen the Elder Gods, and we can’t say with any certainty that Karin doesn’t know something in this Swedish art-house gothic that shows no monster at all, THROUGH THE GLASS DARKLY has as much in common with Val Lewton’s deep psychological thrillers for RKO in the 40s, in fact sharing a lot of themes with CAT PEOPLE (1942), THE SEVENTH VICTIM (1943),. and other films of their ilk. And all leave you with the same horrendous impression that something is out there and that mad and malformed as the human mind can get, there is a grain of truth to all of the hallucinations and all of the cosmic horror.

The discriminating viewer is not just one who finds meaning in the depraved and the weird and the horrific, but also one who finds the depraved, the weird and the horrific in the things that academics and squares and stuffed shirts say are meaningful and THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY has that stuff in spades. So, if you like Lovecraft, Hitchcock or Lewton—or just an uncomfortable chill and a lump in your throat—Ingmar Bergman might be the scare you need.

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Transmissions to Earth: DJANGO (1966)

Posted in 2012, 60s Movies, Action Movies, Classic Films, Exploitation Films, Italian Cinema, Killers, LL Soares Reviews, Low Budget Movies, Spaghetti Westerns, Trasmissions to Earth, Westerns with tags Cowboys, Cult Movies, Django, Franco Nero, Italian Exploitation Films, Sergio Corbucci, Spaghetti Western on December 27, 2012 by knifefighter

Transmissions to Earth Presents:

DJANGO (1966)
Review by L.L. Soares

In honor of Quentin Tarantino’s new movie, DJANGO UNCHAINED, which opened on Christmas Day, I thought I would see the movie that inspired him – at least in part – the original 1966 spaghetti western called, simply, DJANGO, starring Franco Nero.

When we first see the titular anti-hero, Django is on a hill, dragging a coffin behind him with ropes. He looks down upon a group of Mexican bandits tying up a prostiute named Maria (Loredana Nusciak) and flogging her. Suddenly, a group of soldiers arrive, shooting the bandits and setting the woman free – or so we think. Instead, they form a cross from pieces of wood, intent on burning her for her sins. Django comes to her rescue and she is saved a second time.

Django drags around a coffin wherever he goes.

Going into town, they find it pretty much deserted, except for a whorehouse/saloon run by Nathaniel (Angel Alvarez). Their clientele includes the soldiers, led by Major Jackson (Eduardo Fajardo), and the Mexican bandits, led by General Hugo (Jose Bodalo), the exact two groups who had taken turns persecuting Maria earlier.

Django makes the whorehouse his office, dragging that coffin of his into the middle of the room, to the consternation of Nathaniel and his girls, who are terrified about how Major Jackson will respond. When we are introduced to the Major, he is using bandits as target practice (they’re forced to run up a hill and he shoots them in the back as they flee). Jackson takes some of his men into town to look at the stranger who shot some of his soldiers, which leads to Django revealing just what’s in that coffin of his. Let’s just say Major Jackson enters the saloon with an entourage and leaves all by himself.

Django has a special treat for his enemies in the coffin he drags around everywhere.

While Django and Nathaniel are digging graves for all the men Django has killed, the bandits show up again. It turns out that General Hugo knows Django from past skirmishes and they are old friends. Django reveals to the General why he came to town – to steal some gold from a military fort just inside the Mexican border. Hugo is game, and they follow Major Jackson back to the fort, where they attack (after hiding in the covered wagon Nathaniel normally uses to bring prostitutes to the soldiers) and abscond with a big bag of gold dust.

Afterwards, Hugo double-crosses Django, cheating him out of his cut of the gold in the name of “La Revolucion” Hugo is planning, to take over the Mexican government. He expects Django to make a sacrifice for the cause, but the mysterious stranger has no intention of leaving empty-handed, especially when it was his plan that got them the gold.

After tricking the bandits out of their gold, Django tries to get away, but accidentally loses the gold (now stuffed in his coffin) to a patch of quicksand. The bandits catch up and crush Django’s hands, leaving him for dead, before riding off into an ambush of Major Jackson’s men, who shoot the bandits dead.

The film ends with a lethal showdown in a cemetery with Django, with a gun but crushed hands, against Major Jackson and a group of his men, culminating in a satisfying conclusion.

DJANGO was a big hit upon its initial release and spawned lots of imitators, and some sequels. It’s clear that Franco Nero’s character is patterened after the “Man with No Name” that Clint Eastwood played in the spaghetti westerns he did for director Sergio Leone. Django is a man of few works, with a face full of stubble, like Eastwood’s mercenary, but Nero also has piercing blue eyes beneath his beat-up cowboy hat. Directed by Sergio Corbucci, DJANGO isn’t as epic as Leone’s best work, and he clearly doesn’t have anywhere near the budget of Leone’s films, but Corbucci makes up for it in in interesting locations and a strong atmosphere of foreboding.

DJANGO doesn’t have much to distinguish it from the tons of other Italian westerns of the time, but Nero is terrific as the lead character. And that coffin he drags around is an interesting gimmick. Also, Major Jackson’s men go around wearing red bags over their heads, looking an awful lot like a variation on the Klu Klux Klan (the fact that Jackson is clearly a racist just emphasizes this).

It’s not 100% clear what Major Jackson is up to. He leads a group of soldiers, but they seem to be outside of the law and murder the locals with impunity. At one point, Jackson mentions that he fought for the South in the recent Civil War (which isn’t referred to by name), while Django fought for the North. All the more reason for them to be enemies. But since the film was made in Italy, it seems to be a little vague about the details of the war and the specifics of geography.

While it’s not a great movie, DJANGO has some great moments, including a scene where bandits cut off the ear of one of Major Jackson’s cronies, a preacher named Brother Jonathan (Gino Pernice), and that final showdown in the graveyard. And Franco Nero dominates every scene he’s in, and it’s not hard to see how he became an international star.

Charismatic actor Franco Nero became a star for his portrayal of DJANGO.

Charismatic actor Franco Nero became a star for his portrayal of DJANGO.

DJANGO may have “inspired” Tarantino’s new one, but aside from the titles (and names of the title characters) and the fact that they’re both westerns, there’s not a lot in common between DJANGO and DJANGO UNCHAINED. Tarantino has stated that he really likes this movie, however, and he uses some of Luis Bacalov’s score for DJANGO in DJANGO UNCHAINED, including the memorable title song which appears in both films. The original film is worth checking out, however, especially if you’re a big fan of Italian westerns of the 1970s.

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The Geisha of Gore Attends THE NEW YORK ASIAN FILM FESTIVAL and JAPAN CUTS 2012!

Posted in 2012, 60s Movies, Anime, Asian Horror, Atomic Accidents, Based on a True Story, Cannibalism, Colleen Wanglund Reviews, Cop Movies, Film Festivals, Gangsters!, Geisha of Gore Reviews, Kung Fu!, Samurais, Yakuza Films with tags Atrocity Exhibition, Choi Min-sik, geisha of gore, Infernal Affairs, Japan Cuts, Nameless Gangster, New York Asian Film Festival, Shock Labyrinth on August 29, 2012 by knifefighter

THE GEISHA OF GORE Takes On:
THE NEW YORK ASIAN FILM FESTIVAL AND JAPAN CUTS – 2012
By Colleen Wanglund

Once again I, your Geisha of Gore, attended this year’s New York Asian Film Festival (NYAFF) and the Japan Cuts film festival, although this time as a legitimate member of the press. During the month of July I experienced some very cool films from all over Southeast Asia and in varying genres—not just the horror that I’m so overwhelmingly fond of. The NYAFF, which is put together by Subway Cinema and The Film Society of Lincoln Center, just celebrated its eleventh year, and it’s bigger than ever. Japan Cuts is a festival of contemporary Japanese cinema held every year at The Japan Society in the Turtle Bay neighborhood of Manhattan and is in its sixth consecutive year. NYAFF movies are shown at Lincoln Center’s Walter Reade Theater, The Japan Society (where the two festivals overlap and support each other) and sometimes a midnight movie at the IFC Center. Both film festivals are run by some very cool people, who welcomed me into the fold officially this past July…and that was due to the help of my wingman from another website, Stan Glick, who knows more about Asian films than most people I’ve met.

Opening night was a blast, as Stan, fellow Knife Fighter Nick Cato and I saw the comedy VULGARIA (Hong Kong, 2012) about a producer who is desperately trying to get his porn film made—an ambitious remake of a Shaw Brothers 1970’s sexploitation classic. Not only does the movie get made, but the producer ends up creating a viral marketing campaign that makes his movie a huge hit. The movie’s director Pang Ho-cheung took questions from the sold-out audience, telling us that the film is actually based on true events—which makes it that much funnier. It was filmed in just twelve days on an extremely low budget, and the script was written by almost everyone involved as it went along! It’s a raunchy comedy without actually being visibly raunchy or vulgar, which is quite the feat, considering the subject matter. I truly laughed so hard I cried. VULGARIA stars Chapman To, who starred in INFERNAL AFFAIRS (2002), INFERNAL AFFAIRS 2 (2003), and TRIPLE TAP (2010), and has had a long career in Hong Kong cinema. There is also the very interesting character of Popping Cherry, played by Dada Chan, who will do just about anything to get into the movies. How she got her name is priceless.

VULGARIA (2012)

Afterwards, everyone was invited into the theater’s gallery where we enjoyed some complimentary Kirin beer to celebrate the opening of NYAFF. The next afternoon I was lucky enough to participate in a press conference with Choi Min-sik, star of OLDBOY (2003), I SAW THE DEVIL (2010) and his latest, NAMELESS GANGSTER (2012). NYAFF held a four-film mini retrospective of Choi’s films, including OLDBOY, NAMELESS GANGSTER, FAILAN (2001), and CRYING FIST (2005). Choi Min-sik is one of the biggest stars in South Korea and for good reason—the man is a brilliant actor. I was thrilled to meet him and be able to ask him at least one question during the conference.

Below is a brief synopsis of some of the other films that screened at NYAFF and Japan Cuts.

NAMELESS GANGSTER (Korea, 2012)—Choi Min-sik stars as a crooked customs inspector who is about to go to prison, but finds a stash of confiscated cocaine and ends up a gangster, using his family connections to stay in power for quite some time. When he faces his impending downfall, he has no problem betraying some of those same family members who helped his rise in the Korean underworld. The movie is brilliant and if you get a chance, go see it!

NAMELESS GANGSTER (2012)

NASI LEMAK 2.0 (Malaysia, 2011)—Directed by and starring rapper Namewee, NASI LEMAK 2.0 is a comedy surrounding food….namely the national dish of Malaysia. At its core, it is about ethnic division in the country using kung fu, Bollywood dance numbers, outrageous stereotypes and surreal comedy in an attempt to get across a message of unity. Not my favorite of the festival movies, but funny and entertaining, nonetheless.

THE KING OF PIGS (Korea, 2011)—An animated film employing washed-out, muted colors and harsh lines to set the tone, THE KING OF PIGS tells the story of the effects of bullying on young school boys and how it continues to affect their adult lives. It is at times a brutal and unflinching look at how class plays a role in Korean society. Directed by Yeun Sang-ho, the film isn’t the most graceful anime I’ve ever seen, but it is based on some of Yeun’s own experiences while in middle school and displays its darkness effectively.

KING OF THE PIGS (2011)

HARD ROMANTICKER (Japan, 2011)—Written and directed by Gu Su-yeon and based on Gu’s own childhood growing up in a Korean ghetto, the film is a hard-ass look at loner Gu (Shota Matsuda—whose father was a star of 70s yakuza flicks) who causes trouble and attempts to elude payback among different gangs. He’s also hounded by a cop looking for Gu to rat out others, but just feeds the cop info on low-level drug users instead. HARD ROMANTICKER is fast, furious and violent, but an entertaining film for those who like the gangster genre.

ASURA (Japan, 2012)—Another animated film, ASURA is about a young boy surviving as a cannibal in war-torn Medieval Japan, who is then befriended by a young woman who shows the boy compassion. The Lord of the village is determined to find and kill the boy and things get dangerous for everyone involved. The film uses an animation process that involves 3D characters over a 2D painted background. The result is a beautiful watercolor effect with an amazing depth. The story is brutal and bloody, but heartbreaking as well.

NO MAN’S ZONE (Japan, 2012)—A moving documentary that was filmed by a crew that basically wandered around the 20-kilometer exclusion zone affected by the radiation from the Fukushima nuclear reactors. It is a few months after the earthquake/tsunami/nuclear disaster, but some of the small villages and towns have yet to be evacuated. It is both heartbreaking and infuriating to see the devastation and the lack of response by the government.

NO MAN’S ZONE (2012)

TORMENTED (Japan, 2011)—Directed by Takashi Shimizu, Christopher Doyle was Director of Photography on this follow-up to THE SHOCK LABYRINTH (Japan, 2009). While not a sequel, TORMENTED (orig. title: RABBIT HORROR 3D) contains some of the same elements and places as THE SHOCK LABYRINTH and a scene from SHOCK is included at one point in TORMENTED. It’s a huge departure from Shimizu’s famous JU-ON films, but a fantastic effort.

HENGE (Japan, 2012)—Directed by Hajime Ohata, HENGE, which translates to metamorphosis, is a short film that clocks in at just around 54 minutes. It is a disturbing film about a man who suffers violent seizures and speaks in an alien language. Over time the man transforms into a bloodthirsty insectoid creature, but his wife stands by her man, even luring victims to the house for him to feed on. It’s gory and worth a watch, IF you can find it. Unfortunately it’s tough for shorts to get decent distribution deals. The film was shown with two other short films as part of “The Atrocity Exhibition.”

LET’S-MAKE-THE-TEACHER-HAVE-A-MISCARRIAGE CLUB (Japan, 2012)—Another short film that was part of The Atrocity Exhibition, this disturbing film follows a group of middle-school girls led by the psychologically damaged Mizuki. Mizuki decides that the girls’ pregnant teacher is dirty and her pregnancy must be ended as a punishment for having had sex. What makes this film even more disturbing is that it is based on true events. This is a fantastic film that will unfortunately not see a distribution deal because of its length, which is an even 60 minutes.

And these were just the films I got to see during the festivals!

Other wonderful films that were screened during the two festivals and must be seen, if you haven’t already (and seriously, what are you waiting for?) included OLDBOY (Korea, 2003), the cult classic starring Choi Min-sik; the bleak horror film GOKE: BODY SNATCHER FROM HELL (Japan, 1968); INFERNAL AFFAIRS 1 and 2 (Hong Kong, 2002/2003), the far superior original versions of Martin Scorsese’s THE DEPARTED (2006); FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH (Hong Kong, 1972), one of the best kung fu films ever made and one that established the genre; ACE ATTORNEY (Japan, 2012) based on a popular video game and directed by Takashi Miike; THIRTEEN ASSASSINS (Japan, 2010) a samurai film, also directed by Takashi Miike; and ZOMBIE ASS:TOILET OF THE DEAD (Japan, 2011) the latest offering from Sushi Typhoon and directed by Noboru Iguchi.

The Japanese classic horror film, GOKE, THE BODY SNATCHER FROM HELL (1968)

NYAFF and Japan Cuts combined to showcase new movies, classic films, special guests, and parties. There were almost 100 films screened between the two festivals, and they get bigger each year. Some of this year’s guests included Donnie Yen, Choi Min-sik, Michelle Chen, Yoon Jin-seo, and Jeff Lau. I’ve looked forward to the festivals every year since I first began attending over three years ago. Samuel Jamier is the head programmer for Japan Cuts and would love to see the festival become one of the biggest showcase for Japanese films of all genres in North America. Some of the cool people involved with the New York Asian Film Festival are Ted Geoghegan, Grady Hendrix, Rufus de Rham, and Goran Topalovic.

© Copyright 2012 by Colleen Wanglund
LINK TO PREVIOUS COLUMNS:

The Geisha Reviews OLDBOY and Chan-Wook Park’s Vengeance Trilogy

The Geisha Reviews I SAW THE DEVIL

The Geisha of Gore reviews GOKE, BODY SNATCHER FROM HELL

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Bill’s Bizarre Bijou: THE GREEN SLIME (1968)

Posted in "So Bad They're Good" Movies, 2012, 60s Movies, Aliens, Asian Horror, Bill's Bizarre Bijou, Campy Movies, Japanese Cinema, Monsters, Science Fiction, William Carl Articles with tags Aliens, Bill Finger, Cult Classics, Drive In Movies, Gamma 3, Green Slime, Kenji Fukaska, Luciana Paluzzi, Richard Jaeckel, Robert Horton on August 16, 2012 by knifefighter

Bill’s Bizarre Bijou

William D. Carl

This Week’s Feature Presentation:

THE GREEN SLIME (1968)

Welcome to Bill’s Bizarre Bijou, where you’ll discover the strangest films ever made. If there are alien women with too much eye-shadow and miniskirts, if papier-mâché monsters are involved, if your local drive-in insisted this be the last show in their dusk till dawn extravaganza, or if it’s just plain unclassifiable—then I’ve seen it and probably loved it. Now, I’m here to share these little gems with you, so you too can stare in disbelief at your television with your mouth dangling open. Trust me, with these flicks, you won’t believe your eyes!

Remember the terrific 1960s mod science fiction Gamma 3 movies directed by Antonio Margheriti? Beginning with WILD, WILD PLANET (1965) to THE SNOW DEVILS (1967), these spaghetti outer space movies were gloriously whacked-out pieces of cinematic fun. They all centered on the citizens of the Gamma 3 space station orbiting the Earth and they featured some of the greatest Sixties clothing and hair, and a young Franco Nero and Tony Russel as space captains, continuously saving the world.

Well, there was another Gamma 3 movie made in 1968. The Japanese somehow got their hands on the rights to the series and populated it with American and Italian actors, filmed it in English, based on a story by Ivan Reiner—who did the other Gamma 3 stores—with a script by Bill Finger who penned several episodes of the campy 1966 BATMAN TV series, and directed by a man who didn’t understand a word of English, and damned if they didn’t somehow create one of the most entertaining sci-fi monster features of the era!

They even gave it a rocking theme song by Richard Delvy, the drummer for the first California surf band, the Bel-Aires! This theme song is so warped and crazed, with a growling Delvy roaring over wah-wah wicky-wicky guitars and Theremin warbles that it perfectly sets the mood for all the insanity that is to follow. Don’t believe me at how great the song is? Here’s a clip.

A few years ago, dance floor diva Josie Cotton remade this on her wonderful album of B-Movie tributes “Invasion of the B-Girls.” Here’s that version…

Directed by Kenji Fukasaka (TORA TORA TORA – 1970, VIRUS – 1980, BATTLE ROYALE – 2000), THE GREEN SLIME starts with one of those cheap 1960s models of a space station that looks as if it were made in Mrs. Johnson’s art class with the glue and string still showing. It’s Gamma 3, with a whole new interior that looks a heck of a lot better than the Italian version. During a routine weather report, they accidentally discover an asteroid, and it’s heading on a collision course with Earth! Cue montage of scientists earnestly working over typewriters (I guess the future didn’t have word processors).

The general has sent for Commander Jack Rankin, played by steel-jawed, wooden-faced Robert Horton (WAGON TRAIN – 1957-1962). A young lieutenant says, “What’s Rankin doing here? He’s tendered his resignation. You can’t send him on a mission like this where the chances are next to zero.” He’s ordered to join back up with his old partner, Vince Elliott played by constantly teeth-grinding, jaw-clenching fury by Richard Jaeckel (3:10 TO YUMA – 1957, THE DIRTY DOZEN – 1967, STARMAN – 1984). At 7:00 the next morning, the asteroid, now dubbed Flora, will collide with Earth, so the duo must place explosives on it and blow it to kingdom come. Hey, did the writers of ARMAGGEDON (1998) see this?

Toy ships zip around, and there’s that same gee-whiz feeling as the Italian films of the series, as though I was a little kid again, sailing my model spaceships around the back yard and making zoom-zoom noises. It’s completely silly, but it still works, even when the strings are visible.

The GREEN SLIME attacks!

Upon arrival at Gamma 3, Elliott has to hand over his command to Rankin. Vince’s girlfriend, Dr. Lisa Benson (the gorgeous, stunning, monotoned Luciana Paluzzi of THUNDERBALL – 1965 and a former Miss France) informs Elliott that Jack Rankin means nothing to her anymore. She doesn’t even want to see him when he boards the station. Five minutes later, she’s saying goodbye to the two men while wearing a silver lame’ jumper and some seriously piled-up hair. When her eyes meet Rankin’s, it’s a whole other story.

They make it to Flora despite the fragility of their spaceship model by using a device that looks suspiciously like a Spirograph toy. The asteroid is little more than barren rocks except for pools of the titular green slime. The sets here look an awful lot like STAR TREK. The men have soon set their explosives while Dr. Benson watches it all on television from Gamma 3. Meanwhile, weird kabuki music plays in the background – boing, ping…ping ping……strum. One of the crew finds a pulsating mass of glowing green slime, and he collects a specimen. Some of the slime crawls on its own volition onto the crew’s equipment. It’s alive! And one of the crewmen has some on his pants leg!

The astronauts get back in their ship to outrun the blast. Zipping as fast as their support strings will allow—at least ten Gs. The G forces are so strong, the pilot can’t get his hand to the controls, but that doesn’t stop Jack Rankin. He leaps from his seat, grabs the controls, and pushes them forward while activating the force field! The Earth is saved!

Or is it? Duh – duh – duuuh!

Back on Gamma 3, Vince and Jack vie for the attentions of the lovely Dr. Benson while the crew is decontaminated from the mission. Who can clench their jaw the longest? Can Jack woo Lisa away from his former best friend, Vince? Is it over between the ex-lovers? They all try to be civil during the swinging “Earth is Saved” party, where everyone dances as if they’re in a Charlie Brown cartoon to jammin’ trumpet jazz.

A riveting hospital scene in THE GREEN SLIME.

Meanwhile, the slime on the pants leg grows and electrocutes the man in charge of the decontamination of the clothes worn by the crew that flew to the asteroid. More people are found electrocuted, and a weird creature is revealed on the main deck. It’s got a green, squished down body covered in scales, long tentacles with dainty red claws on the end that shoot off sparks, and a single red eyeball. This is an insanely silly looking monster, not scary at all, but hilarious, as if designed by Sid and Marty Krofft. It walks while waving its tentacles around and making a noise like a dolphin with a head cold. The creature runs amok, electrocuting numerous redshirts and destroying various computers and equipment.

Jack Rankin decides to hang around Gamma 3, not only to help kill the monster but also to continue seducing Lisa (who seems rather receptive to his advances – Bad Lisa!).

It seems the monster’s blood acts as reproductive organs, so every time the things are shot, they are making more of themselves through their emerald blood spatter. They can heal themselves, too. Electricity makes them grow at an incredible rate. Of course, nobody tells anyone this, so when the monsters attack the hospital ward, the soldiers shoot the crap out of the beasts, creating hundreds of monsters out of a few. They spread throughout the C-Block, but not before Gamma 3 is quarantined.

The GREEN SLIME in all its glory!

A brilliant plan is hatched by Vince. All energy will be switched off except a single generator in C-Block that will lure the creatures away from the humans, and then isolating it in a storage room, trapping the slimy things. The space station goes dark as the energy switches off, but it made me wonder how everyone was still breathing. Oh well, pass the popcorn. The squeaking midget monsters go right for the generator, waving their claws in the air like disco dancing crustaceans. Taking it upon himself to be the hero, Jack Rankin leads the monsters away from the humans and into an airlock. Vince saves him when dozens of the beasts attack him at once. The air lock gets blocked, more things go terribly wrong, and Vince and Jack have to face each other down over whether to save a trapped scientist or not. It turns out to be a moot point as the scientist gets fried by the monsters, and it all ends in a shoot-out, and one whole wing of Gamma 3 explodes and catches fire. Interestingly enough, in space, flames and smoke on toy space stations still rise just like on Earth!

When the C-Block blows out, only a few creatures are killed while the rest escape to the outside of the space station, getting healed by the rays of the sun . . . and they’re growing! Rankin decides to evacuate and destroy Gamma 3. Of course, Vince is having none of it. Fisticuffs result, and Vince is hauled away and arrested. Unfortunately, the escape hatch has been sealed by the creatures, who march around on the exterior of the station like hundreds of tiny SIGMUND AND THE SEA MONSTERS. The only way to clear the hatch is to go outside with jetpacks and lasers and blast away at the little buggers. Elliott leads the attack, floating around the set on visible wires and firing lasers into the glowing red eyes of the creatures.

Lisa gets everyone off the ship except for the last evacuation vessel. There isn’t enough energy left to get Gamma 3 to self-destruct, so Rankin must return to the hordes of green slime monsters and manually set the explosives. Not wanting to miss all the action, Vince runs in after him to help. Will they make it out alive? Will the last ship of evacuees get to Earth? Who will Lisa choose in the end, Elliot or Rankin?

No, this isn’t the Nickelodeon Channel. You don’t want to get anywhere near THIS green slime!!

Who cares when here are hundreds of midgets in rubber monster suits gleefully running around with sparklers in their tentacles? From the wild theme song (available on a 45!), to the garish Technicolor photography, to the over-the-top acting of the heroes and the non-acting (yet extremely hot) redheaded heroine, THE GREEN SLIME is a blast. Kids will cheer the valiant men and women of Gamma 3, while adults will groan at the strained dialogue and delight in the sheer audaciousness of it all. It’s a candy-colored science fiction movie, full of innocence, monsters, and funky 60s hairdos. How can you go wrong?

THE GREEN SLIME is available in a beautiful widescreen, restored print from Warner Archives.

I give THE GREEN SLIME three clenched jaws out of four.

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Lady Anachronism’s Fallout Shelter Discovers THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN ALIVE (1961)

Posted in "So Bad They're Good" Movies, 2012, 60s Movies, Action Movies, Atomic Accidents, B-Movies, Fugitives, Gangsters!, Lady Anachronism's Fallout Shelter, Sheri Sebastian-Gabriel Columns with tags Anthony Caruso, Atomic Accident, Debra Paget, Gangsters, Indestructible Man, Most Dangerous Man Alive, Ron Randell on August 8, 2012 by knifefighter

Lady Anachronism’s Fallout Shelter
Discovers THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN ALIVE (1961)
By Sheri Sebastian-Gabriel

Pull up a chair, pass around some rations, and get comfortable. Here at Lady Anachronism’s Fallout Shelter, I’ll take you back into time, when Atomic Age cats and dolls fretted over the bomb and visions of alien invaders flickered on the big screen at the local drive-in. Technological or political developments may have made these films obsolete, but I hope you’ll join me in rediscovering forgotten Cold War-era cinema.

Atomic blasts are prominently featured in many films of the 1950s and 1960s. The bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were still fresh in most people’s minds. That fear and paranoia is evident in the cinema of the time, particularly under the threat of the Soviet Union’s perceived nuclear arsenal.

The MOST DANGEROUS MAN ALIVE (1961) is just this sort of film, but it brings a little something extra to the table. It’s a mobster tale for the Atomic Age.

The film opens to some tough, well-dressed men discussing Eddie Candell (Ron Randell), who has escaped on his way to death row at San Quentin. Candell led this criminal syndicate before being falsely convicted of murder, convicted in no small part through the testimony of his former underworld pals. Andy Damon (Anthony Caruso) has taken over Eddie’s role as mob leader, and he’s also stolen away his girl, Linda (Debra Paget).

Everyone is scared that Candell is coming for them, but Linda is particularly afraid. She not only testified against her man, but she’s also sleeping with his replacement. Linda is the type of insufferable bird-brain that makes viewers root for her horrible demise, but more on that later.

We then see Eddie Candell stumbling through the desert, hands still cuffed, dressed impeccably in a suit and tie. Who knew that San Quentin inmates were transported dressed to the nines? He has wandered onto an atomic testing site, and the scientists notice him too late. He is blown away by the atomic bomb, which is apparently strong enough to knock off his suit jacket but not strong enough to touch his tie! It does rip his shirt sufficiently to give us a glimpse of his strong, impenetrable chest. The researchers discover that he has survived from a recording of the blast.

Dr. Meeker (Tudor Owen), an egghead scientist, demonstrates to a couple of police officers, Capt. Davis (Morris Ankrum) and Lt. Fisher (Gregg Palmer), that the atomic blast didn’t kill Candell but made him indestructible. He does this by demonstrating on produce! He shows them a watermelon that was hit by the same atomic blast. I have no idea why a watermelon was on the testing site, but it serves as a convenient example. The half of the watermelon facing the ground seems normal. It can be cut away with ease. The other half, however, bends the knife. The bomb was comprised of something called Cobalt Element X, which is not quite as deadly as Uranium 235, according to our scientist. Candell’s insides have been fused with steel. Using egghead logic, Meeker tells the officers that Candell could be the most dangerous man alive unless he is apprehended and studied immediately.

Candell steals a dynamite truck and, of course, heads to the home of his former crony Andy Damon. He catches Linda on her way out the door. She’s a blithering nincompoop who pleads with Candell to spare her. She only testified against him, she says, because Damon forced her to. She’ll do anything he wants! She’ll run away with him! She’ll go straight to the district attorney and tell the truth! A group of Damon’s henchmen catch him in the act of roughing up Linda, and they start shooting at him. Candell and the bad guys discover that his body simply absorbs the bullets.

Candell runs away with Linda, hoping to get her to go to the district attorney and help him proclaim his innocence. He also hopes to use Linda as a pawn to get Damon to confess that he lied on the witness stand. Candell’s motivation remains true throughout the film. He never wavers in his desire to have his name cleared.

He drives to the home of his protégé and love interest Carla Angelo (Elaine Stewart). Linda is left in the dynamite van while Candell visits Carla. Carla is clearly smitten with Candell. She sees his horrible condition and wants to selflessly save him. It seems interesting that Carla’s character is the polar opposite of the opportunistic Linda.

The police come to the door while Candell is at Carla’s home, urging her to come with them to a secure location. She agrees to come along, but not before telling Candell to slip out the back. It’s all a setup, however, and the police surround the dynamite van once Candell gets in with Linda. The van will blow and take down innocent people, Candell shouts to the coppers, like the poor man’s James Cagney. Clearly the police in this film were not trained in hostage negotiations. Candell takes off with Linda, and no one bothers to give chase.

Meanwhile, Damon has found himself another dame in record time, and he starts thinking of alternative methods of annihilating his nemesis since mere bullets won’t do. They devise a plan to throw him out the window of their high-rise apartment. It’s brilliant! An atomic bomb won’t kill him, but a 20-story plunge to the sidewalk just might do the trick!

The plot is quickly ruined when Candell comes to the apartment and knocks two of the henchmen out the window instead. Talk about instant karma!

Damon gets to Carla and, in an extremely racy scene for the era, attempts to rape her. The plot is foiled by a passing police officer, and Carla makes off with the gangster’s car.

Carla goes right away to Dr. Meeker. She’s obsessed with saving her lover. Candell’s health is deteriorating. She and the doctor make a trip to her apartment, where they find Candell. He is afraid of what’s happening to his body. He doesn’t want to deal with the doctor. He wants to deal with Damon on his own terms. Perhaps he realizes his time is limited.

In a showdown at the same atomic testing range that sealed his fate, Candell gets his vengeance against Damon and goes down in a blaze of glory. Thankfully, Linda gets her comeuppance as well. For her support and love, Carla is spared.

This was the final film for 1920s director Allan Dwan, the man responsible for such classics as ROBIN HOOD (1922) and THE IRON MASK (1929). THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN ALIVE certainly not without its flaws, but it’s an action-packed, engaging spin on the classic mobster tale.

Eddie Candell (Ron Randell), left, gets his revenge on slimy mobster Andy Damon (Anthony Caruso) in THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN ALIVE!

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Transmissions to Earth: ZONTAR: THE THING FROM VENUS (1966)

Posted in "So Bad They're Good" Movies, 2012, 60s Movies, Aliens, Based on a True Story, Campy Movies, Cult Movies, Larry Buchanan Movies, LL Soares Reviews, Monsters, Outer Space, Science Fiction, Trasmissions to Earth, TV-Movies with tags alien, John Agar, Larry Buchanan, Monsters, Pat Delaney, Venus, Zontar on July 26, 2012 by knifefighter

TRANSMISSIONS TO EARTH
ZONTAR: THE THING FROM VENUS (1966)
Movie Review by L.L. Soares

Welcome to the world of low-budget schlockmeister Larry Buchanan. Nick Cato recently reviewed one of his theatrical films, THE LOCH NESS HORROR (1981), for his “Suburban Grindhouse Memories” column, but that was just a warm-up for ZONTAR: THE THING FROM VENUS (1966), one of several TV-movies that Buchanan made in the 60s, ZONTAR has gone on to become a notorious cult movie.

In fact, it was inevitable that I would review this movie here, since the name of this column, “Transmissions to Earth,” was originally inspired by ZONTAR (you’ll see why in a minute).

A remake of Roger Corman’s IT CONQUERED THE WORLD (1956), with several scenes that are almost duplicates (but with different actors, of course), ZONTAR has no mention of the previous movie in its credits, in fact crediting the script to Buchanan and Hillman Taylor. So I’ll mention here that IT CONQUERED THE WORLD was written by Lou Rusoff and Charles B. Griffith.

ZONTAR begins in a NASA installation that looks like it’s made of cardboard, with doors that don’t shut properly, and oversized 50s computers that flash a lot of lights and beep a lot. Is this an Ed Wood production? Nope, but Buchanan is certainly in the same class as Mr. Wood. The men (and one woman) in the installation are overseeing the launching of a rocket bearing a “laser-satellite,” one of the first to be shot into space. Dr. Curt Taylor (John Agar) is in charge of the operation, and as they begin the countdown, his close friend and fellow scientist Keith Ritchie (Anthony Huston) arrives to beg him to stop the launch. Keith is certain that aliens are watching Earth and are concerned about mankind reaching for the stars. It seems that they don’t think we’re ready yet to leave our planet, and there might be dire circumstances if we put that satellite into Earth’s orbit. How he knows all this is anyone’s guess. Curt, despite being Keith’s friend, thinks that his friend is delusional (“How do we even know there’s any other life on other planets?”) and refuses to stop anything. Not only because he knows the powers that be would be furious if anything went wrong with the launch, but also because Dr. Taylor himself doesn’t believe anything that Keith is saying.

If this appears on your television screen – be very afraid!!

When next we see them, Keith and Curt are sitting at a dinner table with their wives at Keith’s house. There is a portrait of Keith’s wife, Martha, on the wall with no eyes! (Even the little details in a Larry Buchanan movie are strange). The two couples have been friends for a long time, and Keith admits that maybe he overreacted before when he tried to stop the launch. When Curt asks what changed his mind, Keith says that he has a secret he can’t hide anymore. He has to tell someone. And he brings Curt into his living room, where, behind a curtain, is a computer/radio device that looks like three air conditioners stacked one on top of another. Keith says this is how he communicates with someone on another world. He claims he has been “in communications for two months now, without the use of a satellite.” He plays some weird noises and Curt laughs at him. Keith says it is the voice of a being on Venus that has sent a transmission to Earth. Somehow, he is able to understand it via “hyperspace hypnotism.”

When Curt asks if this alien being has a name, Keith says “Although his name is untranslatable through any known Earth language, it would sound something like…Zontar.”

Meanwhile, the satellite that was launched months ago disappears. The scientists cannot locate it and are concerned that it has malfunctioned. Then, an hour later it reappears, and resumes its orbit. When the scientists try to bring it back to earth to examine what went wrong, the object takes control of itself and disappears again from the radar. This time, it has flown down to Earth on its own power. What is happening here?

Keith knows. He says that Zontar “diverted the satellite for a vehicle” so that it could get to Earth.

When Zontar lands on Earth, everything stops running, from all machines and power sources, to cars, trains..and even clocks. However, if you’re “in” with Zontar, as Keith is, your stuff works just fine. He’s the only one with a running car for awhile.

The first order of business for Zontar’s domination of Earth is the unleashing of the injectapods. These are ugly bat-like creatures (actually more like giant bugs) that Zontar grows on his body and then they separate on command. Their job is to bite someone, injecting them with some weird metal spike which takes control of their mind. The first thing a controlled human does is dispose of the body, since injectapods die after biting someone. The person they bite then becomes “a part of Zontar.”

We learn that Zontar (now holed up in a deep cave over a hot spring, which is supposed to “approximate the conditions on Venus”) can only grow eight injectapods at a time. The first batch are for the General, the Mayor, the Sheriff and Curt, and the men’s wives (it makes things go easier!). Keith and Zontar figure, with these people under their control, they can control the town.

Not sure where else to go, Curt and Anne go back to Keith’s house, where they resume their dinner party. When Keith goes on about how Zontar has come in peace to save us from ourselves, we get some good dialogue from the ladies:

Anne: Keith, you talk as if this “thing” is a personal friend of yours.

Martha: Oh yeah, they’re real chums.”

General Matt Young (Neil Fletcher) is the first to be bitten by an injectapod. He later shows up at the NASA installation, claiming that those damned communists have caused the power outage, and he declares Martial Law.

There are two soldiers who provide comic relief. They guard the installation, until the General tells them to round up some guys and go on a march into the woods (we have no idea why). When one of the soldiers sees an injectapod flying around, he says, “I saw a funny-looking boid.”

Meanwhile, Sheriff Brad Crenshaw (Bill Thursman) is evacuating the town. When the newspaper editor refuses to leave, the Sheriff shoots him. (“We don’t need newspapers anymore, anyway!”) Curt witnesses this and gets in a scuffle with Crenshaw, who strangely lets him get away (no doubt because he knows an injectapod will be attacking him soon).

When Curt’s wife, Anne, is bitten and controlled, she lets an injectapod loose in their living room and leaves. Curt fights the thing off and kills it with a fireplace poker (a close-up shows up that the injectapods are just silly-looking puppets!). When she returns, he pretends to be controlled, then shoots her when she gets close. How horrible! Can’t he even try to remove the metal spike in the back of her neck and see if that works before he kills his own dear wife?

Showing no sign of grief about Anne, Curt then goes back to Keith’s place (again). With all of the cars not running, Curt sure does a lot of walking in this movie!

Curt: Okay, I believe you now. And I also believe you are an accessory to murder!

Keith: Is that the way you greet an old friend?

It turns out Zontar’s mission isn’t so peaceful after all. He’s actually part of an advanced race that can only live if they can control other creatures with their parasitic injectapods. All of the creatures they controlled on Venus have died out. In order to survive, they have to find new species to infect and control.

When I saw this movie as a kid, I remember John Agar was my favorite character, and it’s true that this is one of Agar’s more memorable roles. But watching it again now, my favorite character is easily Pat Delaney as Martha Ritchie, Keith’s wife. Throughout the movie, she continually mocks Keith and ridicules what he says about the great Zontar. For some reason, Zontar does not try to silence her (I guess because she’s a woman, and in the 60s women weren’t seen as much of a threat). She is also the only one with guts enough to face the monster from Venus. She steals Keith’s gun and takes one of their working cars to the caves to confront the creature who has manipulated her husband.

Martha (talking to Zontar on the radio unit): I hate your living guts…and I’m going to kill you.

When she gets there, Zontar looks like a guy wrapped in a black garbage bag, or covered in papier mache, with lots of fake eyeballs glued to him and giant, cloth wings.

Martha: So that’s what you look like, Zontar. You’re slimey. Horrible!”

Behold ZONTAR – the true face of horror!!

When Keith hears Zontar kill Martha over the radio, only then does he come to his senses and agree to help Curt get rid of the menace. Curt and Keith then head to the caves to save the Earth from the evil Zontar!

As you can see, this movie is incredibly silly and doesn’t make a helluva lot of sense. But that’s precisely why it has become such a cult favorite over the years. If you get a chance to see this one, check it out. It might just be Larry Buchanan’s crowning achievement as a bad filmmaker.

-END-

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The DVD version of Zontar comes with another Larry Buchanan feature, THE EYE CREATURES!

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The Cinematic RAY BRADBURY (An Appreciation)

Posted in 2012, 60s Movies, Anthology Films, Classic Films, LL Soares Reviews, Mars, Obituaries and Appreciations, Ray Bradbury with tags Fahrenheit 451, Francois Truffaut, Illustrated Man, John Huston, Martian Chronicles, Ray Bradbury, Rock Hudson, Rod Steiger on June 8, 2012 by knifefighter

RAY BRADBURY: AN APPRECIATION
By L.L. Soares

Yesterday’s death of Ray Bradbury was a loss to the world of literature, but it was also a loss to the worlds of movies and television. There were lots of adaptations of his works for screens both big and small, and here are just a few of the highlights:

LIGHTS OUT episode “Zero Hour” (1951) The first of Ray’s stories to be adapted for television.

THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS (1953) – based on Ray’s story “The Foghorn,” features a giant reptilian creature that emerges from the sea. Created (and given animated life) through the work of stop-motion effects master, Ray Harryhausen. This same year, the movie IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE was also released, based on another of Ray’s story.

MOBY DICK (1956) Director John Huston hired Ray to co-write the script for his adaptation of the Herman Melville classic. Filmed in Ireland, Ray had a lot of stories about his clash of personalities with the larger-than-life director. The film starred Gregory Peck as Captain Ahab and Richard Basehart (later in the TV series VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA) as Ishmael.

THE KING OF KINGS (1961) – Ray provided the (uncredited) narration for this epic about the life of Christ, directed by Nicholas Ray and starring Jeffrey Hunter.

TWILIGHT ZONE episode “I Sing The Body Electric” (1962) – another classic Bradbury story adapted for a classic TV series.

ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS (1956 – 1962) Ray wrote several teleplays for this series, including the episodes “Design for Living” and “The Faith of Aaron Menefee”. There was also a later hour-long version of the show called THE ALFRED HITCHCOCK HOUR (1964), which adapted “The Jar,” one of my favorites of Ray’s stories.

FAHRENHEIT 451 (1966) – Arguably the most famous film (and one of the best) to be based on one of Ray’s books, this one is a classic directed by Francois Truffaut, and starring Oksar Werner and Julie Christie, in a tale of a future where a fireman’s job also includes the burning of books.

THE ILLUSTRATED MAN (1969) –Movie based on three stories (and the wraparound story) from Ray’s short story collection of the same name. The adaptations include Ray’s stories “The Veldt, “The Long Rain” and “The Last Night of the World.” Starring Rod Steiger as the heavily tattooed title character. Directed by Jack Smight.

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES (1983) – Well-regarded movie version of Ray’s novel, directed by Jack Clayton and starring Jason Robards and Jonathan Pryce. Ray wrote the screenplay for this one, and it was produced by Walt Disney Studios. There was also a 1972 film based on the same book.

THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES (1980) – a television miniseries based on one of Ray’s most famous and acclaimed books. Directed by Michael Anderson and written by Ray and the great Richard Matheson. It was aired in three installments. The cast included Darren McGavin, Rock Hudson, Roddy McDowell and TV’s SPIDER-MAN, Nicholas Hammond.

THE RAY BRADBURY THEATER (1985 – 1992) – Considering how many stories Ray wrote over the years, it’s not surprising that there was a television show devoted completely to his work. Ray wrote most of the screenplays for this Canadian-produced series and even appeared in a few episodes. Many episodes were filmed in Auckland, New Zealand.

THE WONDERFUL ICE CREAM SUIT (1998) – Director Stuart Gordon adapted Ray’s story about a magical white suit. Starring Joe Mantegna. Ray wrote the original story and the teleplay.

A SOUND OF THUNDER (2005) One of the last films to be based on Ray’s work during his lifetime, this one was directed by Peter Hyams and involved a time-traveling hunter who goes back to prehistoric times to hunt the ultimate prey, and who disturbs the time continuum in the process.

RAY BRADBURY’S KALEIDOSCOPE (2012) – recently completed short film based on Ray’s short story.

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Bill’s Bizarre Bijou Experiences TERROR IN THE JUNGLE (1968)

Posted in "So Bad They're Good" Movies, 2012, 60s Movies, Animals Attack, Bad Acting, Bill's Bizarre Bijou, Campy Movies, Cannibals, Drive-in Movies, William Carl Articles with tags Alligators, Bill's Bizarre Bijou, cannibals, Jimmy Angle, So Bad It's Good, Stuffed Lion, Terror in the Jungle on June 7, 2012 by knifefighter

Bill’s Bizarre Bijou

William D. Carl

This Week’s Feature Presentation:

TERROR IN THE JUNGLE (1968)

Welcome to Bill’s Bizarre Bijou, where you’ll discover the strangest films ever made. If there are alien women with too much eye-shadow and miniskirts, if papier-mâché monsters are involved, if your local drive-in insisted this be the last show in their dusk till dawn extravaganza, or if it’s just plain unclassifiable—then I’ve seen it and probably loved it. Now, I’m here to share these little gems with you, so you too can stare in disbelief at your television with your mouth dangling open. Trust me, with these flicks, you won’t believe your eyes!

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959), THE CREEPING TERROR (1964), EEGAH! (1962), and SHOWGIRLS (1995) are all laugh-filled, so-bad-they’re-good films that entertain even as they astound us with their ineptitude. Allow me to introduce you to TERROR IN THE JUNGLE (1968), a practically home-made tale of schlocky adventure and horror in which every scene contains multiple mistakes, atrocious acting, inept editing and directing, and the funniest script that a group of hacks ever thrust in front of an unbelieving audience. You think I’m kidding? Let’s get to the plot.

We begin our story on a beach front, split level home where the worst child actor ever (Jimmy Angle, who thankfully never worked again) portrays Henry Clayton Jr. The tow-headed tyke, barely four years old, is about to embark upon his first airplane ride ever to see his mother. Clutching his stuffed lion, Henry gets on the plane along with dozens of hilarious stock characters. There’s Mrs. Sherman, draped in furs, who is attacked by reporters asking if she really killed her husband and hid the bank robbery money. There are two nuns, accompanying their dead Mother Superior in a wooden coffin. There’s a bombshell actress, Marion, played by Fawn Silver (ORGY OF THE DEAD-1965!). She is heading for Rio to film a musical, and she’s played by a gushing brunette who tries unsuccessfully to fill her lines with Jayne Mansfield-esque sexual innuendo. There’s a trio of musicians in terrible wigs followed by screaming teenage girl fans. They take their instruments on the plane with them. Something tells me the guitars wouldn’t fit in the overhead compartments! Henry Jr., meanwhile weeps and cries incessantly, “Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.”

Suddenly, a card pops up over the action stating that this picture was filmed on location in Peru, and the producers would like to thank the wonderful people of Peru for their hospitality. Now, back to our story.

During the flight, we get to know our stock characters better. The actress slinks up to Mr. Keyes, a millionaire who flirts with her in a smarmy manner.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you,” she says.

“No more than any other attractive young lady disturbs me,” he says, showing her a magazine. “Your presence is much better than this. If there’s anything worse than pornography, it’s badly written pornography.”

As a come on line, it works!

Little Henry is still crying, and his stuffed lion has miraculously turned into a stuffed tiger. One of the nuns gives her newspaper to Mrs. Sherman, who is greeted with the trumpeting headline “Ruth Sherman Set Free! Money Still Missing!” Mrs. Sherman then yells at the nun in fury, “I expected this from the others, but not from a nun!” An older red-headed woman talks about the lost Incas in Peru and the Jivaros who live as cannibals. The band immediately pulls out their guitars and plays a request for their song, “Soft Lips:”

“You’ve got what I want, babe.
You got what turns me on.
Soft lips, soft lips, really really really really soft lips,
I really want you!”

Women dance in the aisles, the nuns rock out, and the plane enters a storm, I think (it’s hard to tell, because the picture goes to a blue screen every time we see the exterior of the plane.) The pilots struggle with the controls and decide to crash land in the jungle, near the Amazon River. They first try to get rid of any excess weight, so everyone gives up their suitcases or their instruments. In the process, Mrs. Sherman’s case flies open and money swirls all around the cabin, while she has a nervous breakdown. One of the nuns gets sucked out of a door in the clumsiest fall out of a cardboard hatch ever. As the plane approaches the ground, everyone seriously puts on their life jackets, and the plane crashes, I think. It’s still hard to see anything other than that darn blue screen and some wispy clouds. Meanwhile, annoying little Henry’s toy tiger is once again a toy lion! It’s good to focus on the toy, since the kid can’t even remember his lines.

The crash is actually brutal and swift, with people’s heads bashing into windows and blood flying everywhere. One woman’s gilded canary cage is thrust into and through her face. The actress dies in the millionaire’s arms. “No more promises. No more … argh.” Only a few people are left alive, and they jump out of the sinking plane into a river, where alligators immediately attack them. The remaining cast is devoured in front of the screaming little boy’s eyes! One at a time, every character that’s been introduced is eaten alive.

The terrible plane crash in TERROR IN THE JUNGLE!

But, poor little Henry Jr.! He can’t swim. Luckily, the stewardess and pilot spot the nun’s coffin. They dump the sister’s body out, put the kid in the coffin, and send him down the river just as the plane explodes killing the last of the survivors. The entire cast is dead except for the little boy with the magical morphing stuffed toy, who floats on the river while alligators hiss at him from the shores and bump into his boat. In fact, he floats for what seems like seven hours while sobbing, “Daddy! Daddy!” and more alligators go after him.

Meanwhile, back in the states, Henry Sr. gets the news that he put his son on a doomed flight, and he heads for Rio to find out more about the missing boy. Henry Jr. eventually gets out of the water and has the time of his life playing with monkeys. A Peruvian rescue flight spots his red jacket, and the toy becomes a tiger again. The stupid rescuers are attacked by Jivaros Indians (remember that mention on the plane?) with blow guns, and abandon the kid. One pilot is hit by a dart, and his buddy gets him to the safety of a mission, headed by a Peruvian priest who has lost his faith. Despite his ministrations, the pilot dies.

Luckily, the natives believe Henry Jr. is some sort of god because he has blond hair. They take the weeping wonder to their village and set him up on a throne. “Daddy! Daddy!” They believe he is the son of their god, Inti. We know this because the missionary priest can interpret their drums and conch shell calls.

On an impressive Incan Temple set, Henry Jr. is treated to a big dance production number performed to Les Baxter’s jazzy music (didn’t know they had saxophones and xylophones in the jungle.) Dozens of native women perform a ballet in colorful headdresses and costumes, Martha Graham-style. Hey, what’s a jungle picture without a perfectly choreographed native-girl dance number? The music is pretty cool, and … yes, the damn toy has now turned into a spotted leopard.

Henry Sr. arrives in Peru. After a bit of sight-seeing, he visits a monastery, where he is informed that the red jacket was seen, and he is given the address of a Father Bates who will take him to the mission in the jungle. So much work to find a kid any parent would be happy to ditch in the wilderness! That’s probably why he takes time out from his search to watch an entire festival parade go by, and he even tours the local architecture before bothering to get to Father Bates.

Meanwhile, back in the jungle, the Jivaros witch doctor is jealous of the attention Henry Jr. is getting, and he tells the tribe that the boy is the reason the sun has been hidden behind clouds for a week. Plans are hatched to kill the little boy, all in subtitles with a fake Indian language that sounds exactly like “Ungu bungu banga bunga.” Thank goodness, the missionary priest overhears the plot, and he sets off to free the little brat. Henry Sr. arrives just in time to join him on the rescue of his son.

Henry Jr. is tied to an altar made of green bananas, clutching his tiger and, of course, crying his eyes out. It makes you wonder how they got this little punk to cry so much. Were they constantly pinching him? Taking his toy away? Forcing him to watch the dailies? In any case, a rival tribe sets the village huts on fire, everyone stabs everyone with long spears and knives in bloody fights, the sun comes out, and Henry Jr.’s stuffed animal turns into a real live leopard that saves him from the evil witch doctor. Yes, you read that right. The toy saves the kid, and not even in its lion or tiger form, but in the handy stock footage that was available at the time and a real stuffed immobile leopard. Deus ex machine, my ass!

Henry Jr. doing what he does best – CRYING!

Then comes the giant snake. Then, the quicksand. Then, the piranha attack. This kid just can’t get a break.

The film is aided by good, if hysterically inappropriate, music by Les Baxter, including “Peru, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, you’re calling, calling, calling, my Peru.” a Tom Jones-style number. Baxter wrote music for more than a hundred movies, including gems like BEACH PARTY and BLACK SABBATH (1963), HOUSE OF USHER (1960), and THE BEAST WITHIN (1982).

TERROR IN THE JUNGLE’s plane sequences were directed (Ha!) by Tom DeSimone, who began his career editing children’s matinee movies and instructional films. This was his first feature. In two years, he would adopt the moniker Lancer Brooks and direct and produce dozens of X-rated gay films like CONFESSIONS OF A MALE GROUPIE (1971), SWAP MEAT (1973), and THE HARDER THEY FALL (1977). That year, he moved into more straight-forward exploitation drive-in hits, like the hilarious talking vajayjay movie CHATTERBOX (1977), the Linda Blair slasher flick HELL NIGHT (1981), ANGEL III (1988), and REFORM SCHOOL GIRLS (1986), with the great Wendy O’Williams. He later moved to television, where he directed many episodes of FREDDY’S NIGHTMARES, SWAMP THING, and SUPER FORCE. Hey, I guess he was always working.

The jungle scenes were directed by Andrew Janzack, who was the cinematographer on such baddies as THE CREEPING TERROR (1964) and THE UNDERTAKER AND HIS PALS (1966). Meanwhile, Alex Graton helmed the spectacular dance sequence at the Incan Temple. Interestingly, Graton was the producer of UNDERTAKER AND HIS PALS, under the name Alejandro Gratton.

How these three men met and made this film will probably forever remain a mystery.

If you love terrible movies, and I mean movies so bad they’ve gone around the curve and emerged as superbly entertaining, then you simply must see TERROR IN THE JUNGLE. It’s crammed with laughable dialog, atrocious acting, long stretches of Peruvian tourism, bad special effects, stock footage, continuity errors, swinging Sixties fashions, crazy scenes that just seem randomly strung together, the song “Soft Lips,” and the funniest plane crash ever. All this plus a kid yelling for his Daddy several thousand times. TERROR IN THE JUNGLE is easily one of the worst/best movies ever made.

I give TERROR IN THE JUNGLE four lions, no leopards, and no tigers out of four. A true classic of bad cinema waiting to be rediscovered!

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Archive for the 60s Movies Category

FAREWELL TO RAY HARRYHAUSEN

Bills’ Bizarre Bijou visits the COMMON LAW WIFE (1963)

CRITERION AFTER DARK: THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY (1961)

Transmissions to Earth: DJANGO (1966)

The Geisha of Gore Attends THE NEW YORK ASIAN FILM FESTIVAL and JAPAN CUTS 2012!

Bill’s Bizarre Bijou: THE GREEN SLIME (1968)

Lady Anachronism’s Fallout Shelter Discovers THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN ALIVE (1961)

Transmissions to Earth: ZONTAR: THE THING FROM VENUS (1966)

The Cinematic RAY BRADBURY (An Appreciation)

Bill’s Bizarre Bijou Experiences TERROR IN THE JUNGLE (1968)

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