CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT
MONSTROUS QUESTION: Monster Movie Musicals
With Michael Arruda, Nick Cato, Paul McMahon, and Mark Onspaugh
PART 1 OF 3
Figaro! Figaro!
MICHAEL ARRUDA: Welcome everyone to this month’s MONSTROUS QUESTION column. This month’s question comes courtesy of Mark Onspaugh.
Take it away, Mark.
MARK: Thanks, Michael. I just saw that Paul Williams is clean and sober and back to making music (I had thought he was dead) —anyway, you may remember he was behind the music of Brian de Palma’s great riff on PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE (1974).
I thought it might be fun for people to pick horror or sci-fi movies to be turned into musicals, maybe name a song or two and (if they want) performers and/or composer/lyricist.
MICHAEL ARRUDA: So, there you have it. Today’s Monstrous Question: Which horror or sci-fi movie would you like turned into a musical?
NICK CATO: Perhaps to alleviate some tension and add even more controversy, the forthcoming THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 3: FINAL SEQUENCE should add some musical numbers, including updated versions of ‘STUCK ON YOU’ from the now defunct Seattle punk band The Briefs, ‘RIP IT OUT’ by Ace Frehley, and the conga-line classic ‘HOT HOT HOT’ by Buster Poindexter.
Singing in the shower with the HUMAN CENTIPEDE!
*****
MICHAEL ARRUDA: I’m going with three classics.
First, John Carpenter’s HALLOWEEN (1978). It would feature the following songs:
-“My Sister Just Bopped Her Boyfriend For the Last Time”
-“The Boogeyman Boogie.”
-“Stroke Me Laurie Strode”
-“Is There A Man Behind that Mask?”
-“Let’s Do What We’re Not Supposed To Do (The Babysitters’ Ballad)”
More singing in the shower – this time with NORMAN BATES!
Alfred Hitchcok’s PSYCHO (1960),and believe it or not, the musical version would be darker than the movie! Here are some of the songs:
-Who’s That Lurking Outside My Shower Curtain?
-A Boy’s Best Friend Is His Mother (a love song)
-Am I a Man or a Mother?
-I’ll Carry You to Any Fruit Cellar
-Blood, Mother, Blood!
-Gotta Clean This Shower: The Body Wrap Rap
“I’m so nervous about signing for the first time!”
And last but not least, the original FRANKENSTEIN (1931).
Featuring such show stoppers as Henry Frankenstein’s:
-It’s Alive!
-Now I Know What It Feels Like to be God!
-Put That Torch Away Fritz Before the Monster Grabs You
Fritz solos such as:
-Don’t Blame Me for Grabbing the Wrong Brain I Can’t Read!
&
-No One Ever Told Me Abnormal Was Bad
Songs by the Monster, including:
-Little Girl, Why Are You Crying?
-Why Is Everybody Always Screaming At Me?
-Invite Me to the Wedding – I’d Like to Kill the Bride
And other soon to be classics like:
-My Little Maria’s Dead, and Someone’s Gonna Pay!
-Waltzing to the Windmill
And the mega-dance number,
-Don’t Do It Fritz, Don’t Drop that Jar!
Join us next time for more answers to the Monstrous Question, and you won’t want to miss it, as Paul McMahon writes an entire treatment to a musical based on THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU!
—END PART 1
Answers © Copyright 2012 by Michael Arruda and Nick Cato
