Still more responses to this month’s MONSTROUS QUESTION
THE MONSTROUS QUESTION OF THE MONTH – MAY
This month’s question: What remake would you like to see made?
Most remakes instill me with a deep, arm-waving rage.
I’m especially frustrated with the current trend towards remaking good movies that aren’t even that old. For example, Frank Oz’s very funny DEATH AT A FUNERAL (2007) has been remade, apparently because Americans are afraid of too many English accents. Also, Sweden’s wonderful vampire film, LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008), is also being remade because Americans don’t like to read subtitles during movies.
So, if I’m going to pick a movie to be remade, then I’d look back to something that is actually old enough or obscure enough that it’s not truly accessible for modern audiences. With that as a criteria, I’d be very interested in a remake of Tod Browning’s 1932 horror film, FREAKS.
FREAKS was incredibly controversial when it was released and many of its themes and characters would still make a lot of folks nervous today. In fact, it would likely be difficult to produce a remake of FREAKS that faithfully captured the passions and brutality of the original film through the mainstream studio system. This is why a good remake of this film would be such a commodity, compared to most of the re-hashed twaddle that’s getting the green-light these days.
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I would like to see a remake of CRITTERS (1986). It was a knock off of GREMLINS (1984), but it added some original ideas. The critters were outlaws with two bounty hunters on their trail. Stephen Herek amped up the carnage for his movie more than Joe Dante did in GREMLINS. I would like to see what someone could do with the story with today’s special effects.

