THE MONSTROUS QUESTION OF THE MONTH – MAY

This month’s question:  What Horror Movie Would You Remake?

LL SOARES:

I would probably remake THE FOG (1980). I thought the original John Carpenter film was one of his weakest, even though the idea of leprous sailors forced to crash their ship and die – coming back as vengeful ghosts – is actually a good one. For some reason, Carpenter just made a movie where nothing much happens. The recent remake – a chance to improve on the original – was a total screw-up that sucked anything good out of Carpenter’s version and was a complete waste of film.  I would remake it with a stronger storyline, better characters, and ghosts that are truly scary.

Then again, maybe I’d just skip this version of THE FOG completely and instead adapt James Herbert’s (unrelated) novel of the same name.

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NICK CATO:

1973′s DON’T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT has had a cult following since finding new life on video in the early 80s.  The film features an interesting premise with a killer finale, but is plagued by sub-par acting and an early scene of two nurses yakking away that must’ve been torture for people who saw it before the invention of the Fast Forward button.  By working on the original’s “lunatics-take-over-the-asylum” theme, there’s endless possibilities for a truly terrifying remake here.

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MICHAEL LOUIS CALVILLO:

I think the original PHANTASM (1979) might make for an interesting candidate. It was the freakiest freaking movie in the world when I saw it on videotape in the early 80s (I was about ten, maybe eleven, when I first watched it at friend’s house – my parents wouldn’t let me watch R-rated movies – and it scared the hell out of me). Years and years and years later (a couple of years ago), I was all psyched to show it to my wife (who had never seen it) and though there were some cool elements here and there, in the end she was like, “Meh.” We were both tremendously underwhelmed. It’s still a pretty kick-ass, original indie, but it doesn’t hold up as well as some of the other modern classics (EVIL DEAD, RE-ANIMATOR). With the right director and the right producer it might be something worth resurrecting.

(Still more responses coming tomorrow)

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